The Northman & Ulysses 31

The Northman

Reegs: Welcome To bad. Dad's film review, an ongoing experiment in which a group of dads bring the full force of their near double digit IQs and complete lack of industry experience or film school knowledge to review a movie we've missed over the years while we were bringing up our kids and then applying those same rigorous analytical skills to something designed for children's entertainment in the perhaps misguided, but ultimately sincere belief that those shows should be held to some sort of standard of accountability too.

This week sees us paying homage to all things, myth and mythological, not of the, we only use 10% of our brain or goldfish only have three second memories, or either one of Richy sun ale. Liz trust would be the compassionate, moral prime minister the UK needs right now, variety more the rich and timeless stories that have been told and retold across cultures for millennia interpreted again and again for audiences over and over.

So to that end, we started this week with a review of the Zach Schneider Frank Miller adaptation 300, and we're gonna start things off by looking at the top five mythological creatures characters characters before moving on to the Roger Edgar's Viking revenge drama than the north man. Before we finish things off with a look back at that staple of childhood fantasy, the incredible animated series Uly sees 31

Sidey: you

can't hold it back

Reegs: the ages, isn't it?

That one joining us on this cultural Odyssey is bad. Dad. Peter. If I had to choose someone in a myth to compare him to, it would be Ze since they both have an inordinate number of children and have also seduced potential partners while pretending to be a Swan. Next up is bad dad's side. He's most like Apollo in that he's one of the most important and complex of the God's gifted in music and archery and just like Apollo side.

He also grew to an adulthood in four days. And finally we have Dan and he's probably most like Lokey, not just because of the joking tricks to angle. He's always tricking and joking. Isn't he? But also the fact that they've both tied their penises to a goat, go to lost a tug of war and finally there's me re hello.

Sidey: I did actually do archery at primary school.

Reegs: Any good? Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: as in, is it any good or was I any good at

Reegs: Let's say both.

Sidey: I don't remember being particularly skilled at it, but it was quite a thing to do.

Reegs: My misses is quite good at archery as well.

Sidey: Oh

Reegs: yeah, I did. Oh, that's that again? Isn't it's that again?

Oh,

every week

Sidey: No, but hats software though, because it's quite a skill,

Reegs: Yeah.

You

any good at archery?

Dan: No, but I I walked a goat, so I suppose, you know,

Pete: are goats now at the zoo.

Dan: That's right. Yeah.

Pete: your introduction?

Dan: Yeah. Well, you know, it was tied to me. I just

Reegs: So what are they go? Yeah,

what's an

Ava. Isn't

Dan: He's an Ava as well. Yeah.

Sidey: Did anyone watch anything apart from homework this week? Dan?

Dan: Yeah, rogue agent. I wrote it down. It was a film recommended to me by a colleague at work. And

Reegs: what mission? Impossible.

Dan: No it's a, a true story. It's a spy thriller and it's basically a con man who has pretended to be a I five agent and kidnapped.

And as I say, can't believe actually it's crazy enough to be true, cause he's done it for years. Like, and he he's kept this story going and he's moved people to different safe houses and he basically just tries to get their money off them. And he would say, oh look, you we've been rued. We've been rumbled.

And he'd ask him to do proper spies stuff, stake somebody out. What did you see? Go in there, get a number, all this kind of stuff. To make them believe and otherwise quite intelligent people. And one woman is a lawyer. She's. Real high powered lawyer and everything. And he's working as a car salesman. Of course, it's all his cover.

He says, you know, before he's worked in a bar, it's just his cover and he charms her and it's his confidence trickster. And it's really strange the way that the Lord deals with it towards the end and everything and what they can do. And the, the absolute terrorists guy has just caused so many people's lives with disregard for, would

Sidey: would you recommend it?

Dan: it?

Yeah, I would. Yeah, it was a decent movie.

Sidey: Nice.

Dan: I think that was all I watched that this week, other than the homework.

Sidey: Nice Peter.

Pete: Since I was last here I watched I think I told you so alien covenant, which I hadn't seen before. I enjoy the alien films. I, I leave a lot of time between, cause I still, they scare the shit outta me because I'm, I'm very easily like scared by jump scares and sh and horrible alien, like man eating things,

Dan: But you keep going back

Reegs: Did you like it? Cuz I keep thinking of revisiting this for the pod cuz it's a perfect one that I didn't really

Pete: Well, alien covenant.

Reegs: Well, or Prometheus one of, you know,

Pete: right. I really enjoyed Prometheus. I re I actually really enjoyed alien covenant, but it's just, it's basically the same kind of it's ex almost exactly the same sort of setup.

And then everyone dies apart from one or two people. Usually a, a girl gets like left at the end. It's it's very, very kind of Samy, but visually it's incredible. Albeit this one it's, it's a lot of like CGI because they're, they're kind of Zov

Sidey: Xenomorphs yeah.

Pete: like derivatives, it's kind of like the obviously giving the filling in the backstory as to how the Xenomorphs like came to be.

And it's, it's quite sort of CGI and they're not fucking bizarrely, nothing like as realistic as, as the, you know, the, the, the original like alien film,

Sidey: Well, we are all fans of practical effects, I think. Yeah. We've established

that down the years.

Pete: And it kind of just like highlights even more. So how fucking unbelievable the, the, the, you know, the original stuff was

Sidey: that was like 70

Pete: seven, yeah.

Late seventies. But yeah, no, the film itself is, is, is good and like terrifying, but like fast paced and, and fast pen is fucking so good in these, like in these last two films he's like, does like chilling, but endearing all at the same time. It's, it's really strong performances from him. Yeah. It's I enjoyed it and I'll probably watch the next one.

I think there's still gonna be more out of these, these pre-calls

Dan: there's alien versus credit. I've still not seen. And that's kind of in this world. I mean,

Sidey: well there's a new new predator movie this

Dan: video. Yeah.

Sidey: I'm not seeing that yet, but that's on streaming as well.

Isn't it?

Reegs: Isn't

it on Disney?

Is it, is it, I don't know.

Dan: I've seen the trailer.

It looks, it's tempted me in

Sidey: all a lot of the feedback that I've seen online is that it's the best since predator.

Reegs: mm-hmm.

Dan: Wow. Right. Okay.

Sidey: Bo

Reegs: She's really cool. As well. Amber, mid thunder, she was in Legion. If you watched the second or third season of that and she was good in

Sidey: Cool. Okay. Catch anything Reese.

Reegs: No, not really. The homework. I managed to squeeze the homework in 300. I enjoyed that. You should listen to our review of that.

Sidey: You should. I watched some stuff that I can't really remember, but we have recently watched the sea beast. I dunno if you've caught that

on

Reegs: absolutely Ella told me I should watch it good.

She said

I, we should do

Sidey: it visually. Great. And yeah, just it's cool. I really enjoyed that and I'm sure there was something else, but it'll probably come to me in opportune moment. Later on, we had a top five though from last week, which was games. Do you remember that?

and we did have some nominations.

Some of them were just for games like literal tabletop games, you and Campbell came in hard with five tabletop games. I, I bound seven wonders, Sagar, settlers of QAN and they ABIs. I dunno if that's the abyss, but he's put a, a superfluous Y on the end there, it's hard to tell. Cause I dunno the game, but I'm a fan of a tabletop game.

Mm-hmm so probably they're probably worth checking out. And then breach, she came in with seventh seal. That's good chess content pixels game night.

Reegs: I, I had a big thing written about pixels. I would've slated at B G.

Sidey: Well,

Dan: Oh, breaching. And I

Sidey: make a judgment call on it. She just nominates it.

So it's hard to know where she

Dan: and I made friends on Twitter this week. Yeah. So shout out. Yeah.

IL lucky

Sidey: and ready or not as well. That's good. And before, cuz I put the tweet out before we had obviously recorded anything or said what we were gonna do, Mel nominated the game, which obviously is,

Reegs: yeah.

She also mentioned that the director of the movie that we reviewed last week, Lee Nell, he started as a movie reviewer.

Sidey: Yeah. So there's hope for us. Yeah.

Reegs: reviewers. If we just, now all we need is like some super brilliant ideas and the, you know, hard work to put it in and then the creativity,

Sidey: we should probably just stick to this. Yeah.

Dan: Oh, we're nearly, there're nearly there.

Sidey: So I think out of all of that we should probably, cause I don't think we put in the seventh seal, did we.

Reegs: No.

Sidey: So breach he's nomination of seven seal. I would like that to go in and let's put a tabletop gaming, cuz there was three of us. Was there last week.

Dan: I'm just trying to think of the abyss. What did they have in the, the abyss?

Sidey: The abyss was the underwater movie, the

Dan: Yeah. I remember the, the movie.

I'm just wondering if there was a game in there because I'd like to wedge that in. But cuz I think that's what he must have meant.

Sidey: Let's just put it in because there's literally nothing at stake. done

Dan: That is the game.

Sidey: Right. If we get onto this week's top five, we're gonna go back into our mythological or mythical, whatever. I dunno what the right terminology is. Do you want to mythological characters.

Pete: Yeah. So I specifically wanted to cuz I, I was conscious that recently we, I wasn't part of it, but you'd done

Reegs: creatures, creatures.

Pete: Yeah, yeah. Sort

Reegs: of

on the, on the Tove episode,

you you know if you're not listening to that, you're missing out. It's absolutely smashing

Sidey: totally.

Dan: Yeah.

Pete: To

Reegs: Tove yeah, probably

it would be. Yeah.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah, so what I wanted to do was mythological characters. I basically, I was looking for a theme and I found some things that I'd like to watch that fit, like fell nicely

Sidey: Well, you're a big fan of that series. Is it just Vikings? Is it that what it's called?

Pete: I,

Dan: you love this.

I

Pete: can't stop thinking about it going on. I, I follow like all the actors in on like T TikTok and shit, and it's, I, I cannot stop thinking about that series and how fucking good it was, like the performances

Sidey: dismissed it like really out of hand because I just like, well, it's not gonna be game throne, so I won't watch it, but then it probably that's possibly a bit reactionary.

Pete: Yeah. I mean, obviously it's, it's, it's based I wouldn't even say loosely it's like

Dan: the first series is actually done in association with a history channel. Yeah.

Sidey: All

right. Okay

Pete: Yeah.

Series I, I think, I think a few of the series are,

Dan: I think,

Sidey: but then so is like UFO abductions and shit like that on

Pete: Yeah. But this, this is like a, you know, it's a dramatization of the of

Sidey: the no there's a there was a camera crew there.

Pete: Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Dan was one of the cameramen so yeah, and, and Vikings will get mentioned,

Sidey: And so so this top five, then I have gone for then exclusively like humanoid. So not beast or creatures, but characters. So like

Reegs: mythological characters, Ofcom.

Sidey: not necessarily humans. Right. But human

Pete: So, so the three sort of categories within the, were the subcategories within

Sidey: a subset,

Pete: the subset within the mythological characters for me were exactly, as you said, just said the people in aver commons, DESE.

Yeah. And I guess Demi Dayes and also creatures as well. So, but specifically mythological creatures, some of which may have been covered off

Sidey: Well perhaps if you were to go first, you could illustrate what you're talking

about.

Pete: Right. So,

Sidey: the nomination

Pete: so straight out the gate, and I think probably this, this

Dan: hell's gate

Pete: hell's gate is, is in fact a, a thing from mythology.

But I was going to go like straighten with the big boy Ze and I guess the

Reegs: in no hold sparred with Hogan,

Pete: The, the, well, this could literally be I'm sure. Ze. So what we could probably do I'll I'll I'll pick mine and we could probably like, just kick zes around for a bit and then we can, we can move I'm sure.

Anyone else got a Zeus?

Dan: Well it is interesting because they did a back in the day with Jason, the Argonauts and there, there, there was Zeus, but there was also Poseidon, which they, they, yeah.

Which they, yeah, but they swapped him over. For some reason they turned Poseidon. Who's the up Neptune, his nap, June preside and Zeus. And they'd used another one, but he was in that, wasn't he? Jason AAU, I think Lawrence,

Pete: no, this is clash of the Titans. Your thinking? Yeah. So clash. So this, this was the one I was gonna go for. So obviously, you know, Lawrence, Olivia clash of the Titans, a film that we've mentioned and we're talking about the original one here.

It was, yeah,

Dan: my lack of knowledge is always gonna be my Achilles elbow on this subject.

Sidey: done.

Pete: Well done.

Reegs: It's his finest role? Isn't it Olivia's best. I've seen him in probably

Dan: no

DFT

Sidey: narrating war of the worlds is probably his finest hour.

Yeah. Anyway feel

Pete: like you're trolling us

Reegs: but I'm getting nothing, so it's not worth it,

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So but yeah, so clash at the time, I mean, it was, it was odd cuz it just basically sort of showcased the, the gods as like these guys in robes, like basically sat around a big table or walking around in this kind of

Dan: puppet masters almost.

Pete: Yeah. Just literal, literally moving people around on it and going like, Ugh, let's fuck him up and everything.

And then you've got, I think had is his brother and, and like all these, so peruse is the, is the, he's his son, but he's a Demi God, cuz he's part, God, part human.

Reegs: Another one of those wears used like mind raped some girl and impregnates her while he's a bee or something.

Pete: Yeah. Which, yeah,

Reegs: that's the sort of thing they did.

Dan: it's

Pete: it was consensual though.

Mm-hmm so yeah, so clash of the Titans is for me, one of the like iconic kind of Greek mythology films. And it's like steeped in all that. You've got all manner of mythological characters and creatures in this film, but specifically Zeus play BI by Lawrence, Olivia, and this in the reboot. It's Liam.

Neon. Yeah. Who is, who is use he's in clash with the types

Sidey: and Samuel Samuel Jackson in diehard with a vengeance, of course, Zeus. He's called

Zeus

Pete: is he? Okay, so anyone got any other zes that they wanted to?

Sidey: My parents' dog was called Ze.

Pete: Oh, there we go.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. No.

Pete: Any others, any,

Dan: any advances on

Reegs: Well I'm trying to,

think was Liam Neen in clash? The Titans was hi, Jesus.

Pete: That's

what we just said. Yeah. You've just done a craving. Yeah.

Reegs: Okay. Out.

Sorry

Pete: had too many fizzy drinks Riggs it's

Reegs: They do give me a lot of gas

Pete: Yeah, so that, that was my so opening film. I mean, there, there are characters and creatures in that, that I'm sure will

Reegs: revisit as we come across them

Pete: come to the fore again.

Yeah. But straight out the gate, Lawrence Sue clash of the Titans, all timer. You you've already mentioned another like Ray, Harry Housen. Is it Ray, Harry Harrison. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's quite a few of these cuz they, they deal with you you've mentioned the other one

Dan: they lent himself well to his

Pete: and the argon

Dan: as well.

Didn't he you know, making these mythological, those creatures

Sidey: Well, there's a reason why we're still telling these stories, like after. Hundreds and hundreds of years, because they're, you know, all timers, you

know,

they, they still resonate with people and people still like to watch and hear these tales being told.

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: The golden

Sidey: I'm just waiting for Dan. Cuz normally I'm about to say something.

Dan will just purposely like interrupt Claire.

Dan: Oh no. Well I just, I can just slide in

Sidey: go on Slide in

Dan: makes it easier for everyone it, the Amazonian women. I assumed that would fit the bill and wonder woman becomes one of those then the, the recent, I think it was the 2017 one with gal GDO.

And it's, it's a spinoff from Dawn justice. I read today. I, which I've not seen it's in that

Sidey: same well that's

Reegs: her origin

Dan: Yeah. And it's a prequel, isn't it?

Reegs: a few bits in that as well. Is that the one that's got he airways in it? He was obviously the God award. There's a, obviously

Sidey: Aries in the first film. Yeah. So what the island they're from is like thymus Syria or something that, and it's this, the Amazonian tribe of like super fucking rock, hard women.

Reegs: but where is, where does that myth come from?

Dan: Yeah. Well, this is, this is the whole thing, cuz it's, although we've got it in, in wonder woman here, it's actually a story that I've heard in, in different cultures and things as well.

So I wasn't sure where it came from. I didn't know where,

Pete: yeah, the there's like, obviously there's little south American mythology and you know, I dunno like the iners and the Aztecs and everything they'll have their like DESE and their, you know, like what Demi gods and, and all of these sorts of things. Yeah. So there's, there's plenty out there in the

Dan: Well this was I think it was it Chris pine was in this as well.

Sidey: He's

Reegs: he's bit wood.

Sidey: hot.

Dan: Yeah. It, it was, it was a half decent movie. I think the wonder woman won it. Wasn't

Sidey: one's decent And second one's not so great To be honest, second one's a bit let down. But does feature that myth, mythological

Dan: I can't even say either. Yeah. Cool.

Pete: tricky.

Sidey: I'm gonna go for one. I know Pete is gonna like this it's Moana.

Pete: Oh,

Sidey: Moana. And this is so we've got, you know, the classical sort of Greek and Roman, but this is more of a

Pete: It is indeed.

Sidey: Yeah.

LT to it. The story is of this, the heart of graffiti's been stolen by a dude called Maui voiced by the rock. He's fucking great. Probably I think his best performance. And he is a Demi God.

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: He can transform with the help of his magical fish hook and stuff. And he's kind of the villain of the piece at the start and then becomes the hero.

And he's super rad and he can transform into different creatures. That's his, his demigod power.

Dan: I, I do actually

Sidey: sing too, which is pretty

Dan: the, the, the rock has just got so much better over the last few films over the last few years. It just seems like He's

Sidey: I just love the rock Like unashamedly think he's fucking

Dan: I never, I never liked it. You know, the, some of the early stuff and he

Sidey: yeah but he was making his way then. Yeah. He

was a fucking,

Dan: but now exactly.

Sidey: And I res has said it before on the pod, like the way he'll just throw himself into a project, even if it's fairly guff, he'll just like go to fucking warfare for it, like completely back it and be a hundred percent into it.

And I really like that about him even though summer stuff is fucking like camel shit. But the stuff later on,

Dan: But you really like him so straight away you

Sidey: like a modern day Arnie I guess, in a way, like doing that sort of stuff.

Pete: But, but he's actually, you know, a was, was very, I mean, he originally was very specifically for just physique and the acting was like if you can get these things out and not

Dan: it's one line,

Pete: laugh, then, then you'll be alright.

Whereas the rock actually

Sidey: well, I suppose you're acting in WWE anyway. Yeah. So he's just taking that onto the screen in a different way, but he's just very charismatic and certainly as Mary, I

think he's

Dan: about acting w this all fully real, isn't it?

Sidey: Well yes but there's people out there who think that I

just,

Dan: okay.

Sidey: give them a little bit of credence.

Anyway, he's fucking cool. It's all time.

Pete: It's for me, it is the best animated film of all time. I, there is nothing that

Sidey: have you done the sing along version? That's now on Disney.

Pete: I've not done that, but I know all the songs and all the words and I fucking, absolutely love it. I could watch that every night of the week and still fucking enjoy it.

It is brilliant. I'm a little bit torn on whether or not I'd like there to be a sequel or not because it's one of those things that if there was a sequel, would

Sidey: good though Disney they're pretty good at doing a, a good sequel.

Pete: This this would have to be cuz it's, it's fucking brilliant. And obviously there hasn't been one there's not even really been much chat about one either.

Sidey: would rather have seen a, a one or two than a frozen

Pete: Yeah, absolutely. But it's it's still, I, I'm not sure it's been left quite a long time now.

Sidey: Yeah. Well I don't I

don't know if they'd be able to get the rock back to

do it.

Pete: it Do you think that they might do cuz they've done like the live action, a lot of the li you know, lion king and jungle Burke and stuff like that, it might be unless they get actually the rock as

Sidey: I just don't like any of them.

I just don't see the point of it. I'd rather see all those people working on that huge project, do something else original and better and fun.

Pete: But as you say, it is, it's very much steeped in like Polynesian mythology, which is like a thing that Disney has been like looking into, like, you know, the, you know, sort of cultures and subcultures that maybe are not necessarily sort of mainstream to, to the

Sidey: yeah Which I like but also you can see it as a kind of

Pete: it's now. Yeah. Like what's the in Cantos been a more recent one. It's just like the Latin American Matt, like Moana and stuff. But what it does, it brings these like, I mean, I've, I've been lucky enough to go to like New Zealand and,

Sidey: Oh here we go.

Dan: Oh,

Sidey: travel diaries

Dan: Yeah.

Pete: but it, yeah, it, you know, it's, it's fucking fascinating.

Like, you know, like the Mai culture, the Polynesian culture and, and seeing it brought to like a, you know, like the mainstream and fucking, you know, like Hollywood and everything. It's, it's, it's really fucking good that it gets like showcased and done in such a, a cool way. But Maui is, is you know, I, I, I was looking at it today to Heian SAMO and to, and like myth.

Very much a prominent character and is you know, all the things that you see, all the, the themes that you see in the film that, you know, he's bringing them the, you know, like the, the mountains up from the sea and fucking putting the sun in the sky. And all of these kinds of things are things that he was like you know, supposed to have been responsible for.

So. Sure, sure. Yeah. Cool. Moana for the win.

Reegs: I thought I used to love this stuff when I was a kid, all the creatures and things of Greek mythology in particular.

And I used to like looking at things like the Cyclops, that character as it's been represented multiple times across different media. But it was one that really captured my imagination and there was one in the seventh voyage of Simbad. Yeah. Which was like the one where it's got, it's like a Claymation and it's a single eye and obviously, and a horn on top.

And yeah, he was, it was a Ray Harry House joint

Dan: they caught him all in the, in the cave.

Didn't he

Reegs: that's the golden voyage of Sinbad That's another one where they had the yeah.

Sidey: The golden shower of, Simbad.

Reegs: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And of course, probably a movie that would all wanna talk about that had a Cyclops in it weirdly, but we've had lots of mythological references was oh brother, where aren't

Sidey: ah, he stolen off me?

Dan: Ah, that's the one I was talking about earlier. yeah.

Reegs: So it is a sort of retelling of the Odyssey.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: And Goodman is obviously the Cyclops in it wearing an eye patch.

Are you seeing this one?

Yeah

Pete: I, I didn't get the, the mytho, the

Dan: the UY

Reegs: Oh there's a few bits.

There's the sirens down by the water. And yeah, there's a few other bits, the blind guys on the,

Sidey: yeah.

That

Reegs: that thing is

Pete: Yeah, yeah. Pump truck. Yeah. That's what, something along those lines. Yeah.

Reegs: Team

Pete: was the seventh voyage of

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: Which I, I remember seeing as a

Sidey: kid,

I thought he would've done it way before then.

Dan: Yeah. The seventh one.

Pete: Oh yeah.

Sidey: yeah.

Reegs: yeah.

Pete: Yeah. I didn't see the first six. I dunno if they were up so much, but I remember, I remember watching that and the Cyclops was like in not so much like scary as like fuck intriguing.

Cause I think the film like opens with they they're trying to get somewhere and the, and the Cyclops is basically like the thing that wards them off. And then that becomes the theme of the film. Like going back to eventually kind of like conquer the, the Cyclops. But I remember fucking seeing that as a kid and just being like blown away.

And I mean, like it's, it's really badly dated now. Like the, the, the a. And all the, you know, how he has and stuff got better, you know, through,

Reegs: like yeah but as a kid seeing it on the

Pete: he was fucking cool as, and he was like, what, like 20 feet tall and just

Reegs: oh bigger I think bigger. And

you see him pick up a guy as well. And the guys like arms flailing and all that all

Pete: really?

Dan: yeah,

Reegs: And then you got future arm. You've got Lela. She's a

Pete: She is indeed. Yeah. It's quite hot.

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: Probably the hottest Cyclops I can think of. Yeah. Yeah. Interestingly only cuz I've read this today and I'm, I'm gonna bring it up. And it's not just a troll side, but the, the, apparently there's a, there's a theory, a fan theory that the film Greece is based is, is like a metaphor for Greek mythology.

And this isn't a joke, this and the fact that it's called Greece as well. And I wasn't gonna necessarily mention it, but whilst this is an exclusive Olivia new and John has just died whilst we were sat here. Oh, I got a little BBC news flash Olivia living here and John just. I don't think you are sad to see her go after Greece it's although

Reegs: Who hates it's

me Who

Pete: you?

That hates Greece. Sorry about that. But her fucking leather

Sidey: travel like yeah I'm I'm like, okay. With Greece, I think. And so,

Pete: so okay. But apparently, so there's a fan theory out there that it is the whole film and it explains why, and obviously with the car taking off at the end, which Gulf, but

Reegs: that

saved me from doing an embarrassing, like minute rant about how much I hate Greece.

And then it being really unfortunately timed. So,

Pete: But it probably has nothing to do with Greek mythology, but I just brought it up there cuz Olivia new and John ROP. So my my entry well my next contribution towards the top five Vikings, we're, I'm fucking obsessed with this series. I know that you, you checked out after three, four seasons Dan

Yeah.

Dan: Yana, persisted longer than I, but I,

Pete: I love this. And, and the characters every, every time you thought cuz Ragner, LH Brook is the main guy and he's in it for, I think fourth series like four series, but then his sons take over the succession. Yeah. The characters are fucking brilliant. But from the mythology angle of this in loads of references to like Oden and Val Halla and, and everything like that.

And some of the stuff is, is brutal. Like, like huge, like in the first series, there's this one massive guy who's fucking is handy as you'll get on the battlefield. And they basically, because it's this like festival, they need somebody to sacrifice themselves so that, you know, this, the festival is worthwhile and this big dude goes, I'll do it.

And they just fucking slice his neck and he bleeds to death on a table and he is happy to go, which is mental. Cuz I feel like that shit probably happened. Which, and you know, when, when one of the, when like the queen dies, the, the maidens are like quite happy to get on a boat and get burnt to death so that they can like follow her to Val

Sidey: yeah It's like like Midsummer

Pete: It's well, there's, there's all of that

Reegs: kind of like well we're going revisit that kind of thing in the north man, aren't we?

Pete: Yeah. But the, but specifically I wanted to reference the character flow key in Vikings, who is he's the master boat builder. He's like Ragner loft Brooks mate, and builds the, the long boats that become so, you know, fucking famous and iconic.

And they're the ones that can carry them across the seas to go and like pill to the whichever way that east or the west can remember which way. Which I've never done before, but he is meant to have been a direct descendant of low key. So, which is where the name comes from. Who's like the, the tricks to God.

And he's played by Gustav scars, scars guard. He's one of the 18 fucking light scars guard sons of Stellan and yeah, he's fucking brilliant in it cuz he's he's whimsical and he's funny and he's light relief. He's crazy. But he's also absolutely Savage on the battlefield as well. He's just a all round fucking cool, but terrifying guy.

Dan: Yeah. The boat builder.

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's he's like proper mental lives by himself up the up fucking stream. Cuz no one can really fucking deal with him all the time, but he's pals with Ragner. I promise you guys, this, this shit is worth getting onto. It's definitely worth

Dan: awhile. Pete really likes this and I've also gone the Vikings, but it's the, the 1958 American epic with Kirk Douglas. Have you seen this one, Pete? No. No. So you haven't really seen anything about Vikings cause you haven't seen this this is, you've not seen the Kurt Douglas.

The Vikings.

Sidey: Oh, right. No.

Dan: Okay. Geez. You guys, I dunno. Another one. Rigs. Am I staring at you as well?

I

Reegs: I don't

know because I saw a lot of movies when I was a kid that give us, give us a rundown of what

Dan: so

it's it, it, that same kind of story, you know, you you've got it's this was filmed in technical.

It was one of those similar. The E eras, you know, they it's all just kicking off with the color and everything, but Kirk Douglas SW buckling, he's Wagner. He plays like one of the, the brothers of, of this tribe. And it's all, you know, the family stuff where they're stabbing each other in the back and running off with different people and things like that.

But the whole story of it, when I watch it as a kid, you've got one of the, there's a claw a Raven, sorry that rips out the eye of one of the, the guys and of Kurt Douglas. And he becomes, you know, this Savage he has to wear this eye patch has to go through all these different trials and everything to, to get where he wants.

I can't believe you're not seeing this. No. Oh, this

Pete: this a kind of like sparas type era or

Dan: yeah. So not, not kind of far off, off that, but it's a really atmospheric and, and dark filming in places you got the ferryman. I always remembered him, you know, go pay the, yeah.

Reegs: one of my favorite stories,

Dan: paying the, the ferryman to go, you know, all that kind of stuff.

So yeah, this is a, a really topnotch, Viking film. Perfect for the kids as well on a, on a Sunday afternoon. It's not too,

Pete: You've said that before. And there was like, yeah, there was rape and murder and all

Reegs: Yeah What was that? The there was

Pete: was the Dustin Hoffman

Reegs: film Big little

Dan: Okay. This one, this one is, is

Pete: it's safe. Is it?

Dan: Oh, I watched it as a kid and I'm awake.

Sidey: Pete, you kicked this off. Well, rather before we kicked this off, you said you fucking pricks will probably have all the Marvel shit covered. Yeah. Well, without wanting to disappoint you, then th

features heavily in the Marvel cinematic universe.

Yeah. In eight movies, I think to date culminating, the most recent one thought love and thunder, which I've not heard to anyone say anything good about which is a bit disappointing.

Pete: is that's out, is it?

So you guys will remember better than how many films before that one had there been th like standalone films, three or

Sidey: There's dead than three So Thor, dark world and th Ragner rock

Pete: one was a stinker. Which one

Sidey: was,

first Well, the second one

is the dark world,

That's the

Dan: one was decent.

Sidey: I didn't particularly like that one either

Pete: personally. And I, you know, I'm not, I, I've not been like a fucking Marvel fanboy from the get go or anything, but Chris Hemsworth's fucking brilliant in these films, like in, in like the Avengers and it is Chris Hemsworth.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He just, I think he does all of it a little bit. I'm not comparing him necessary to the rock, but similar to the rock in that he can fucking play the part of like this like big, aggressive, powerful guy that, you know, you believe him when he is like smashing everyone to pieces, but then he can do like the, the, the lighthearted

Sidey: He's got a good comedic timing and stuff.

Yeah.

Pete: He's he's just a fucking cool guy. Yeah. I mean, we're, we are very much like pH physically similar to him now. Sorry. Cuz we go to the gym and.

Sidey: go on about it, but yeah, it's true. So yeah, he's obviously a central part. He's one of the Avengers, but also his brother flips in and out of being a goodie Badie he was originally one of the main villains.

Certainly the Avengers movie lowkey played

huddles Tom Yes, Tom Hitton who? Lowkey and Tom Hitton have become a kind of queer icon there's loads and loads of, of fan art of

Reegs: Well, he got off with himself as a girl. That's pretty kinky in the TV series.

Sidey: So he, it was a interview with him on Graham Norton and they said, oh, do you know about this?

And they started showing him all this fan out of him just being like super, super gay. It's really hot.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pete: That's when he got up and did the dance, was it, he was like, he did some dancing and everyone got into it. He's a really good dancer.

Sidey: but he's, he's smooth as well.

Pete: well. Yeah, he is. But I don't, I don't like him as lowkey in those films.

It's like, oh, I'm not, I'm not really having him.

Dan: buy it.

Pete: No, I like him like him as an actor and

Sidey: but when they, they do the as guardian stuff and then you get owed in as well and they sort of, they do lean into

Pete: which is Anthony Hopkins. Isn't it?

Sidey: Hannibal Yeah. So they, they, they try bring that sort of mythology into it as this, but, but kind of in an extraterrestrial kind of way.

And it

sort

Pete: of yeah. Which is, yeah. That's all right.

Sidey: Come into It's good

Pete: new take on it. I think. Is it Russell Crow is, is in the, the new is

Sidey: James I thing Yes. I think he might be Ze

Pete: be this as in the, in the latest one, which is Greek mythology brought into Norse myth.

Sidey: Nice.

Pete: Thor is Norse Yeah. Patch, work outcast. Fantastic. Go rigs. You look bewildered

Reegs: no, no, no. Well narcissism

who was a, was a set of ancient Greek beliefs and the mythological creatures that they that were part of this story were the Archer ons.

And basically the beliefs comprised the idea that the physical or the material world around you was in, you know, the world that you perceive through your sense was in some way, a lie, a prison. And that beyond the material world, there was another world of a different existence. Okay. And then it all you could, but human beings were originally from this other place and are now in this place.

And only the, the idea of waking up and experiencing and understanding that the world is a lie will free you in your existence, which of course is the matrix. So you know, that's the central idea of, of narcissism. And then the matrix has a lot of like mythological stuff in it. And I know we always wax lyrical about it, but how could you not talk about the Morpheus and all of the other Juda, Christians ship with Neo and all the other stuff.

So the matrix, if you're talking about mythological stuff, yeah. You gotta talk about the matrix. It fit the definition.

Sidey: Yes.

Pete: Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: yeah. We're Haven't it.

Pete: I remember it. Yeah.

Dan: Well I've, I've got one.

Pete: was it your term

Dan: yeah, I think so. Yeah. Is it read it? Well, it just seemed to just because it was so well connected. It's the original ducktails and there was a, there was a series within that called made in the myth, which Mrs.

Beakley is mistaken for a

The episode also features a cameo from Thor. So

Reegs: ah,

bridging the Yeah.

Sidey: nice.

I like that

Pete: That was a

Sidey: gone Pete

Pete: segue. So I've got, so I'm going this, this is a, a mythological creature. And I, the, the minute all. And I'm specifically thinking about the miniature in anchorman too.

Reegs: Okay.

Pete: is but like BA bizarrely in the, in the, the second like news team,

you're

Reegs: going with Minol

Dan: the, half

Sidey: I was gonna say, cuz I always used to say mine two, but I don't know which one's right or wrong. Maybe they're both right.

Pete: Yeah. Minto, mine, all tomato, tomato

Reegs: let's call

the whole thing off

Dan: you had Chiron who was like a Halfman and a half

Sidey: Isn't that like a,

Dan: also

Sidey: like a deep fried thing that you dip in? Yeah.

Melted chocolate.

Pete: That's chiro.

Sidey: Oh,

Dan: Oh no. This guy was also a doctor that made him the, the center of

disease control

Reegs: but I had another minor tour as well. I'm gonna say minor talk.

So I can't say mini tour, which

Dave made him Yeah.

Dave made a maze. Anyone watch that's on Amazon prime. I

Sidey: No, I've had you talk about it.

Reegs: Yeah. What

Pete: Well the, the, so the, the minor tour then to, to

Reegs: your no, you go for your

Pete: Okay. The minute tour then. So in, in, in mythology that's where a labyrinth was

Sidey: Yeah So they're the they're experts at finding their way through

a

Pete: No, they, they they're, that's what keeps them in because they're so fucking Savage. They eat people and

Sidey: so in, in DUNS and dragons, they were the ones that were experts at finding their way,

ah, through a mace that was there.

Special skill.

Pete: Right.

Okay. But I think it originally the first labyrinth, again, this is like mythology, but the labyrinth was created to incarcerate the minor of, so that people wouldn't like encounter this, this half man half bull. Yeah.

Reegs: And there is a miniature in Dave made a maze.

Sidey: Film that you crushed art Ninja's

Reegs: hopes and dreams with yeah. A terrific cardboard horror movie where Dave builds a cardboard for in his lounge and gets lost in it. And he really does get lost and there's a dangerous minute. Roaming it it's quite, it's a really crazy film, very visually inventive it's on prime worth checking out.

Pete: mm-hmm yeah, but the, the, the minute or the I was specifically referencing from anchor command too, that it's pointed out in cuz it's the, the history network or whatever that rock up and it's got oh you man, like the ghost of Stonewall Jackson or whatever.

I can't remember his name. John C. Riley. Yeah. Yeah. He's there. And but it's Liam neon again. So he keeps cropping up in these things. He's like the, the main guy, but the, the, yeah, they, he points out that he's mythology, not history.

Reegs: So Liam neon's a mine at all.

Pete: No, no. The minor to is on Liam. Neon's like team in the, in the fight in one of the battle scenes.

Yeah. Okay. Dan, it can't be your go again. Is it,

Dan: is it come back round?

Sidey: Yeah. Why not?

Dan: not? Well, I've got some Slavic mythology for you. And it's a film I watched years ago called little otic. Dunno if any of you guys have heard of it so Carol Hoick and Bo Lena are a childless couple who destined to remain.

So for medical reasons and they well, they, they go on on holiday to their neighbor's house in a country and they he's chopping some wood and as he's chopping wood he he's fixing up the house and everything. He finds a, a tree stump, which kind of looks like a baby. So he ends up giving it to his wife and she does it down and in the morning it's come alive and it starts eating and it starts eating and eating.

And it's just a really bizarre kind of SL fairytale. at one point he eats hair and the next day he's eating the cat, the ne you know, so little otic is, is growing

Pete: sounds like one of my

Dan: a tree stump, but they love him like a baby, you know? So it's it's a really bizarre film,

Reegs: Yeah I'm into it It's

Dan: Yeah, I'll, I'll hunt it down for you then. And yeah. Good one.

Sidey: Cool. Well, I've got some movies that are kind of inspired. We mentioned, oh brother where art now there's some others that similarly are kind of retellings.

The lighthouse that we watched on for the pod that's Prometheus.

Reegs: we didn't talk about any of that in, in our review.

I dunno if we missed it. We just, I dunno if it was all that

Sidey: interesting. There was a lot to take in, in that film. Yeah. And then old boy

ISPU that's anus story. Mm-hmm I think that's about fucking your mom.

Reegs: Yeah, yeah.

Pete: Ebbu is when you were

Reegs: yeah. And Ja Casto who was S's mother she's been named in loads of movies and one that we watched on the pod cloud Atlas.

Sidey: Wow.

That was fucking crap.

Reegs: called J caster.

Pete: Great film.

Sidey: Yeah. And then this is, I don't normally mention films. I haven't seen, but my little pony Equestria girls, rainbow rocks that features the sirens from this Greco Roman mythology.

Wow so that's why's

Reegs: there's been a few sirens. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. There's a film sirens. Yeah. Which there's hug grant, I think.

I haven't seen it, but I think there was boobs in it.

Pete: Hmm. Yeah,

Sidey: I'm done

Reegs: triangle that we watched on the pod that the ship was called the, a, the Oli

Sidey: isn't that the bit around a nipple.

Reegs: Yeah. And that was that ship was lost in limbo. And that OLIS was the name of the Greek dude whose son SSUS was,

Sidey: oh yeah. Condemned

Reegs: to roll a Boulder to the top of a hill.

And back down again I really loved the story of or obvious and he's singing head. That's the one we were talking about before. He's the guy who he goes out with Jason in the argon. He gets him past the sirens by playing his own, like be he's, he's gifted with music and he plays his own better music and he gets him past the sirens and he goes back home afterwards and he marries

UDI And she's killed by a snake snake bite. So he ventures into the underworld. It's the classic story of Karon Carron Charron yeah, the, the fairy man and the river sticks and he goes to hate and Seus and all this stuff that's appeared loads of times in different forms. And he goes to bargain with Hades and Hades is so moved by his like music playing and his story of his love.

And that he says that he can take Urist back or URA dice back with him on the condition that they're forbidden to look behind them as they leave. And so they go and then just as they get to the end of the thing, fucking bird fucks it up and Lyric's behind and she instantly disappears and then he's driven completely insane.

And he's

Sidey: well you would be wouldn't you think of four, you had to do was just fucking walk forward and don't look behind.

Reegs: And he's later decapitated by the witches of race and his head continues to sing and he's taken to a place where he is presented as an Oracle. And that thing of a floating head that is an Oracle is like, come through loads of times in popular culture, obviously in Tron, they had one like that in power Rangers, they've

Sidey: future armor

Reegs: future arm something like max rim is kind of like that idea as well.

And yeah, so that was a, a Greek thing that I enjoyed the.

Pete: Well, you mentioned them before Dan, but sensors are mythological creatures and they feature not particularly prominently, but they are in a few of the Harry Potter films. But they do one of the, the, they do one of the best things in the entire franchise, which is they cart off like the biggest CU in the entire fucking thing.

Dolores Umbridge. She's a real piece of shit. And yeah, I, I presume you cheered, like I did decide when she got, she wandered off into the, into the dark wood or whatever the fuck it's called. And yeah, she was just such a bell. The, the, eventually the center was decided to, I mean, I wonder what they did to her.

What do you think

Sidey: doesn't bear

thinking

Pete: No, it doesn't, but yeah, they feature, I think in the, in the fir in the very first film in the, the philosopher stone, when

Sidey: don't see I don't re when we rewatch, we skip that one.

Pete: Yeah, no, I, I, I understand why

Sidey: I don't know that one, so, well,

Reegs: important to have loads of this stuff.

I was expecting you to like there's Griffins and

Pete: there are, there are Griffins and what are there

Reegs: is there romantic hall? Is it got Manor in

Sidey: it? I wanna say yes.

Pete: I

I was saying yes, they've got a Phoenix. There's definitely. I

Sidey: an order of one.

Pete: Yeah.

there is an order of one and some actual ones as well.

Reegs: Is that what the Phoenix in? Is it talking about the, the Phoenix that comes in the film?

Is it

Sidey: donor has a Phoenix in his office. Yeah. Yeah. He's

Reegs: his order then? Yeah. That Phoenix

Sidey: he's the, he's the head of the order of the Phoenix.

Yeah.

Pete: Yeah. The, the sensors are in the first one when the, the Voldemort's possessed. What's his name? The qual professor. Al

Reegs: qui

Pete: Yeah. Qual professor qual. And he's he's like feasting on unicorn blood, which is a big no-no in, in the woods, but the sensors are like, they're pretty fucked off with that.

Cuz you know, the unicorns are like

Reegs: magical,

Pete: magical beasts, but yeah, the center themselves half man, half horse I think is what we are agreeing on then.

Reegs: yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Half and half.

Pete: yeah. And uh

Reegs: does it matter which way brown?

Sidey: I was just thinking that I was thinking if you had,

Pete: I think there's probably, yeah, these are definitely like men's Bo men's torsos

Sidey: two legs, but a horse pro

Reegs: like what was that fucking crazy movie we watched?

Sidey: Oh yeah,

Reegs: you. Yeah.

Dan: Yeah, that would be a strange look. I I'm getting low. I've got before I go, though, how to train you dragon. Lots of references to Odin

Sidey: hit in our house That

Dan: yeah, loved it. We went cinema to see that it was one of those Saturday movies pay a pound or something to go and see and thought that was the best one I've ever seen for that.

And after seeing that, I was then more aware it's it was right at the start of it. And it was the whole series you got the, the cartoons and as well as

Sidey: the films

in our house, every Mor, well, certainly at school during the school term every morning with breakfast is house, train your dragon, the series whatever it's called is seven series of it.

And we've watched it a billion times and bedtime audiobook time is always an audio book about training of dragon. It's fucking relentless.

Reegs: now but

Sidey: movies are great. And especially the third one, like storywise is great as well, but visually it's fucking astounding.

It's

a real fucking treat.

Dan: What's the Dragon's name is,

Sidey: Toothless

Dan: two flips.

Oh, two flats. Yeah, that was

Pete: any of them.

Sidey: Oh, great.

Pete: not been avoiding them. I

Sidey: strong,

Dan: really good.

Reegs: kids have avoided it as well, so I've not seen

it.

Sidey: It's strong. It's really strong. It's one of it's like Marani you've watch you go. This is actually fucking good.

Pete: I'll I'll introduce those. Are there sing songs in it?

Sidey: No,

Pete: I do

Sidey: you like

you could sing away while some

Pete: Mowan.

Reegs: No.

Sidey: Yeah. Well, there's some classics that we've not even mentioned. So the movie Troy has Achilles, Dan mentioned his Achilles elbow earlier, and I like the, the origin story of Achilles with his mother.

Dunks him in the river sticks and to make him immortal. But of course she's holding him by his ankle. That is why,

Pete: the weak spot

Reegs: is that where she dunk him in the river sticks.

Sidey: Yeah, she just

Reegs: it all ties in doesn't it all they thought we

Sidey: river sticks is really like pivotal and all this shit. So he gets an arrow to the, to the Achilles which is ironic and kills him.

So it seems like an odd place to get a faithful wound.

Dan: Well, it, I think it was, I think it was a cowardly guy who, who just limply dropped his arrow almost, or didn't fire as true as

Sidey: coward Robert Ford

Dan: And it, it dropped to his foot and that was what did him

Reegs: he could have done with wearing better shoes.

Sidey: Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Sando

Pete: foot footwear.

Sidey: And his brother is named after a chip shop. Hector

Dan: why they've closed.

Pete: are closed

Reegs: They closed.

Sidey: I believe possibly like the Phoenix will rise again. I'm told,

Pete: Ooh

Sidey: cause that was my favorite chip,

Pete: niche material

Sidey: very local very local

Kennedy's does him into me and straps him into his chariot.

It's really fucking not cool. But yeah, they like classical real, real classical ones. I'm got one or two left, but my, the one that I've got left is my one that I'm gonna nominate.

Dan: oh, okay. Let's do a.

Pete: Res

Reegs: I've got a couple for you. The ritual was well above average or no, that sounds what a condemning. Yeah. No, a very good British horror movie with RAs, Rafe spool and his friends hiking in rural Sweden after the death of one of the group. And they're sort of out in the wilderness, the guy doesn't die.

It's in memory of him that they've gone for this hike and they're all tormented by grief and a little bit of guilt that one of them in over their friends' death who died on a night out with them. And they're having visions of a strange horned figure in the trees called a yacht. Which is, I don't really know it, but it's like a sort of Norse, not Norse.

It's Swedish mythologies Is it trolls? So, yeah, I think

it's like a

creature of the forest that has properties of the trolls

the yacht now

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: And the locals are providing its sacrifices in exchange room in mortality, which is a shame for RA spool. One last one was Pegasus pony with a broken wing that I generously waited 3.1 on IMDB that I watched with my daughter.

It's got Jonathan Silverman in it. Who's in weekend at Bernie's charism MC carpenter. Which I know that you like, and Tom Arnold is the villain and some depressed looking horses with wings glued to them three pound 99. It customer

Sidey: but Pegasus, the origin story of Pegasus.

Reegs: I haven't got clay

Sidey: just appears when Perus beheads Mer.

Reegs: All right.

Sidey: That's where

Pegasus come

Dan: Mer is the really hot one. Wouldn't she

Pete: Yeah, yeah,

Dan: get everyone really hard.

Pete: Yeah. I've had her.

Reegs: Is that what happens in the film as

well?

Pete: Oh

Sidey: No, I don't think so. It's it's often not told Pegasus is origin story

Reegs: because there isn't one it's just magically

Sidey: forth from her body.

Pete: I'm sure. But in,

Reegs: along

Sidey: Yeah. It's weird

Pete: in clash of the Tysons, Pegasus is like mentioned before the whole MEA

Sidey: stuff.

Well they fucked that treat didn't they

Pete: I'm sure, because he goes, doesn't he go into like the, the forest to tame Pegasus or to like, you know, convince him that it's like worth having a ride around on or something like

Sidey: that.

Pete: I dunno. I've I've got my facts straight. I mean, my, my only things that I've got mentioned, like largely around clash and Titan, like MedU. So obviously the crack and the tight Titans themselves are, are a, another sort of subset. And there's some in again, Marvel, the like Chronos and Thanos, and these guys are all

Reegs: Cronos. He was the guy who, I think he castrated his father and then

Pete: we've

all done. It

Reegs: ate his children

because he was frightened of them.

Pete: Okay.

Yeah.

Sidey: Right. We've been gabbing on for, yeah. God knows. How long should we try to condense this into a top four?

Dan: Which an easy one for me go for that. I'm going 1958. The Vikings that none of you have seen.

Sidey: Okay. Pete

Pete: I've God, Jesus. I am torn between flow key and Maui. Fuck.

Reegs: Ooh

Sidey: I'm not going for Moana. So feel free if you, if

you were if that

Pete: Well, cuz you've already like propped the Vikings.

one. Yeah.

So I'm gonna go Maui, turn out 10 animated film, Moana, but Maui specifically.

Reegs: Well, I was worried you were gonna go for what I was gonna go for, which is teenage beat and ninja turtles, three which is the one where they go back in time and they're mistaken

Sidey: in time.

Reegs: I, I was trying

Sidey: was that the computer

Reegs: whether it had a subtitle. I don't think it did. I

Sidey: think maybe that's the computer game.

Reegs: Yeah, they go back in time to Japan feudal Japan in the sort of early 17th

Dan: feudal area.

Reegs: Yeah. And they are mistaken for the CAPA, which is a kind of river dwelling.

Pete: Oh the

Sidey: I was gonna say also a sporting leisure. brand

Reegs: River dwelling creature from Japanese mythology and folk law.

Pete: like how you, you do that a lot. You keep them back so that people don't steal them.

Reegs: Well, yeah,

Pete: You're very

Sidey: Well I've kept one back. And last week I didn't mention, I did mention, but right at the very end and I didn't nominate it. It was, Omar says all in the game. Well, this week, Omar, if you cast your mind back to series two, episode six, it's just before, he's about to go on the stand at the, the scene I mentioned last week and he's going to basically purge himself and lie about a, a murder that's happened.

And so he's behind the scenes in the courtroom and he's waiting with a guy who's gonna take him into the courtroom. And it's just some guy doing a crossword and he is stuck. And he says to Omar, he's just, well, he doesn't really say anything. He's just sort scratching his head. And he's like, almost says it ain't working out for you.

Huh? And he's like, Mars, Mars is the God of war. Right. And he, and he's like planet too. And he goes, I know he is a planet, but the clue is Greek God of war. And he just goes Aries. And this is like a street gangster. Like, you know, just rips off drug dealers and steals that. And you're like, what? And he's like Aries Greeks called him Aries, same dude, different name is all.

And he's like, oh, Erie's that fits. Thanks. And he is like, so good back in middle school, he ate. And he, instead of saying myths, he says, I used to love the myths and you're like, sky's fucking cool. And then he goes out and does another like knockout fucking 10 outta 10 scene. Omar's amazing. Sadly Michael K.

Williams. Yeah. Sadly passed away, I think last year, heroin overdose. Yeah. But all time fucking great character. And so I'm putting in Aries on the back of the wire. Oh,

Reegs: Oh, I love it.

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: Okay, nice.

Sidey: So we need one more from all your out there to complete this

Pete, I met you lunch today and we took a little trip to the fromagerie.

Pete: We did. Indeed. It was really cute. Wasn't it? I, I now think that the guy who runs the place might think we're a gay couple.

Sidey: well, he's not completely wrong any case. Okay. We bought some cheese, we did this wasn't subscription. We actually hand selected these.

So we went for

Pete: cheese,

Sidey: Cheese, which I think we, we would like to have every week. It's the Laur, which is the especially gooey and creamy just celebration of joyousness

Pete: it's become a staple of the, of the pod. I think it is the, yeah, we're sponsored

Dan: put a staple in that, it would just go right through it.

Cuz it's so gooey. Yeah. It's like a

Sidey: it's not super strong, but it's just joyous.

Dan: I, I prefer a harder cheese myself.

Sidey: Well, we've got you covered.

Dan: I was a big fan of though that went with that. The, the toast for cheese that you bought.

Sidey: Yeah

Pete: the toast, this is a date toast. So this, this was recommended to us specifically to pair with LA.

And then what we did is we threw some gum powder relish on the top and it is a, both a flavor and texture sensation.

Sidey: Yeah. It really is. And then we were uming and ING about what other cheese we should choose.

Pete: This is a first

Sidey: we had a combo with the guy Florian, his name is, he said well, I was after a blue cheese cause I am a

Dan: Does he listen to the pod?

Sidey: Probably

I am a fan of a blue cheese. And so we wanted something quite punch. I was gonna go for St but Pete was saying more like a rock for,

Pete: DCI latte. I was singing go Italian Laur, DCI lattee combo.

Sidey: So we, we just, we had a conversation and he said, oh, do you like goats cheese?

And he really like, went big on saying that this was like, caution, you know,

Pete: like, yeah, like had a

Sidey: like absolutely extreme. If you're not like super into goat, cheese and strong cheese, like everyone would think you're a Dick and blah, blah. And I said, do you wanna try it? And we tried it in the shop and it is like completely

Reegs: he said, he said that everybody would think you were a Dick for a cheese

Sidey: He said CU actually. Right. Yeah.

Pete: But you did say in spite of your cheese selection as well,

Sidey: I was taken aback by that, but it's actually fine. And it is it's, it's slightly, it's not what I'd associate textually with the goat cheese.

Pete: No, it's it's it's it's interesting.

Yeah,

Sidey: it's

Pete: interesting. He said it was crumbly, but it's not too. I don't like Cru I don't. We do can fuck off, but this is. Yeah, it's

Sidey: it's it's firm

Pete: together night. You, you tried it down on the on the wheat rounds

Dan: and I, I enjoyed that as well. Yeah, the,

Sidey: you feel about the wheat rounds, there Like a solid

Dan: Not bad, but I prefer that

Sidey: the toast is really exceptional

Dan: got the, the dates, the

Sidey: I mean I'm not gonna lie to you that that toast for cheese is very expensive.

Dan: Right? can I say? I've, I've honed in on the

Sidey: taste the quality

on it. Yeah. We also accompanied that with some balsamic pickled onions, which are really top drawer.

Pete: They're incredible. They're expensive as well.

Sidey: Yeah. It was an expensive shopping chip, but worth it because we got some real good stuff.

Pete: There's also, I,

Sidey: I'm sorry

Dan: still owe you a fiber?

Pete: I'd like, I'd like to introduce another small segment to the, to

Sidey: the oh okay

Pete: if it's all possible. And, and this again is to do with flavors and trying out new things. And so recently I've I've well, I say recently I haven't smoked now for three months, like at all, which I think

Dan: is

Pete: uh Which I think is, is probably, you know, is much for your benefit so that you don't have to put up with me, like smoking silky reds whilst we're doing this.

So but I have been vaping and there's a whole world of flavors out there on the vaping. So I have this evening with me a a blue sour Rasberry flavor, which is quite nice and also an apple green apple.

Reegs: and presumably the apple would go well with a cheddar.

Pete: this is it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So like a sort of a,

Sidey: yeah, I never thought about that.

You

can actually do proper flavor

Dan: pair them with foods and drinks.

Pete: it's only a matter of time before they start doing cheese vapes that you can like pair with like a, an apple, almost like a chuckle vape as well,

Reegs: just

Sidey: Okay

Pete: I think so.

Sidey: What's you know how you get like a Somme air or a barista what's the vape equivalent.

Pete: I'm not sure they cuz they do like, they do like, you know, like cognacs and cigars and stuff like that, that like pair like a pair AIFS with like different types of tobacco and stuff.

So surely you can have a

Sidey: or cigars are shit though. People you would like to smoke them when we think it's cooler, like

where's a pair catastrophic and all

Pete: yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, but green apple vape and blue sour. Raspberry vape. Yeah. Encourage, yeah. Go out and buy vapes kids.

Sidey: well, they are a little bit like, you know, the old hooch and stuff Alco pops, it's like smoking for kids. Isn't

Reegs: it?

Pete: Well, so what's happening now is that people who have never, ever smoked are now vaping

Sidey: and dying.

Reegs: and, and the, the clouds of smoke that are released when, when vaping or vape that it ties in very neatly.

Sidey: It just segues almost too well into the movie that you chose for us this week, Pete, which was the Northman.

Yep.

Pete: Purely chosen because it's a film that I'd seen the trailer for. And I love all like the, you know, the north mythology and the Viking related stuff and the series Vikings, which were banged on about a million times. So this looked like it was right up my alley. And, and fitted nicely into the mythology theme that we have running today.

So yeah, I, I didn't know a lot about it other than I'd seen the trailer. It's a, I think it was earlier this year

Sidey: It was a 20, 22 joint.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. So

Pete: it's yeah,

Reegs: I,

did technically miss it at the cinema and I did wanna see it, so I suppose it still counts.

Yeah.

Pete: And I, I saw, I mean, I don't think that that there's many Nicole Kidman fans in the, in the room,

Sidey: but

no

Reegs: yeah, no, I'm in,

Sidey: I fucking hate her.

Pete: I thought you might.

Reegs: I'm in no, I'm in as a fan.

Pete: William de fo and like Ethan Hawk was in it

Reegs: Yeah. Great.

Yeah There's some,

Pete: there's some people that I'd heard of doing a thing that I was

Reegs: Fiji from the office. Yeah. He was in

Sidey: Yeah, he was. Yeah.

Pete: So yeah, that's what, that's why I chose it. I didn't know.

Else about it. And again, like the, the scars guard name as well was yeah. Attached to it, which is like, that usually gives it the, like the Scandinavian

Sidey: seal which which scars guards This is Alex, this is Alexander.

He was in true blood quite often, without very much on, in that as well.

Dan: What I

Reegs: And He

was in hold the dark that we watched. Yeah. For the pod.

And that also had similar Wolf

Sidey: Wolfy stuff. Yeah.

Reegs: content.

Dan: I was gonna say what I really liked before, cuz I'd not heard of this either, but going into it, I thought, well, you know, I pay a prime subscription.

I pay for sky. I pay for Disney. I pay for BBC. So it's really nice to go and pay for a film as well on top of all those subscriptions. So really appreciate

Pete: additional benefit for me. There was no, like I wasn't deliberately seeking out things that you would have to pay for, but it made me laugh that you

Dan: yeah, I knew it would.

I

Sidey: you're really gonna enjoy this nominations then

Reegs: and it, the only other thing I knew about it is that it was directed by Roger ger. Roger,

Sidey: Robert hang

Reegs: Roberto Ru

Oh, how do I

Sidey: Robert it's, Robert E Eggers,

Reegs: Eggers, old Eggers.

Sidey: I don't there's no

Reegs: is And he did the lighthouse that we reviewed and the, which that I'd seen as well. But the lighthouse that we reviewed, which was a crazy weird experience

Sidey: Mm-hmm

Dan: So we're back in this world or not quite this world.

Reegs: it made me fear the movie a little bit, because that was such an intense experience.

Dan: Well, this starts dark and brooding, doesn't it? I know you've got the first scene down there.

No doubt, but it's a Crow is flying over the, the sea and there's boats traveling towards a Headland and islands or the beginnings of a. Where are we set? Norway? Are we it doesn't north. Yeah. Just is the countries hadn't been set then just that region and and a, a little girl runs and, and says the king is here and, and he's

Pete: You say it's a little girl, but

Dan: a little boy.

Pete: It's a boy. Yeah. But

Dan: It's

Reegs: It's a it's AMLI. But

Dan: is

Pete: in interestingly, straight away, I've watched this with, with the misses and she said, is that a girl or a boy straight away?

It

Dan: It's the hair. It's like Paige hair, Paige kind of hair. Isn't it? Yeah.

Pete: voice

Reegs: Well he's of an age that he's still a kid.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.

Pete: yeah. that's what you were about

Sidey: to say.

Pete: Yeah. This is set in a D 8 95. And if BC means before Craven ad means after Daniel.

Dan: Right?

Pete: we're saying, we're comparing you with Jesus Christ here, Dan.

So, but you are that old, so yeah.

Reegs: We've we, we

had king,

Pete: our

VIN dill.

Reegs: Vindale

Pete: Arvin di yeah.

Reegs: the Raven king, the war Raven.

Pete: Yeah. So he's returning and he is

Sidey: yeah. He's come back from battle looking possibly a little bit the worst for where

Reegs: they're bringing back the coffins of men in the background. People who died gloriously in battle.

It's yeah. Did you say it was Ethan

haw

Pete: No haven't but I, we talked about Ethan Hawk was in this film, but he is playing this, this king. And he is coming back to his

Dan: I didn't know. That Ethan Hawk was playing the king.

Reegs: I Didn't pleasant Surprise wasn't it? yeah.

Pete: That was Ethan Hawk.

Reegs: And he, they do this like pretty formal reintroduction in front of everyone with the queen and all that. And then the son and he sort of banter though

Sidey: kind of hold court.

Doesn't he? And, and do this

Pete: probably would've happened though. I mean, he's, he's the king first and foremost, but then, then he kind of breaks

Reegs: He makes him dutifully sort of bow to him and then he gives him a big hug. He father's never too old

Pete: his hair asks if he's a boy or a girl,

Dan: he, he, he seems he seems a nice enough king at this stage though. Doesn't he seems welcomed back by his people. He embraces his son.

Sidey: yeah,

I'm not quite sure what he is been up to while he is been away. A bit of rap and

Pete: Ah,

Reegs: Well he gives his son he gives his son a necklace doesn't he, that he was stolen from a princess and he gives it to him as a, as a yeah. As a fucking

necklace Um and fiya, his brother turns up and sort of reluctantly hails the king a little bit.

And the jester starts telling all this rude shit, William

Sidey: Yeah. I

Reegs: About, oh, look, the Queen's cup runs wet for another man when she offers him a drink. And he's incensed by it for near, but AR Dale says nothing but a joke from

Sidey: he says, it's just a jest.

Dan: It's just a J

Sidey: oh, he's the jest.

I

Pete: literally the

Sidey: jest though but also a kind of weird shaman type

thing.

Reegs: Well yeah.

Pete: Yeah. There is some weird stuff that

Sidey: there's a lot of weird,

Dan: and it

Reegs: Well we've already been

Dan: joke to, for him to

Sidey: I thought that's a bit bold

to say to the

Dan: Cause it wasn't the time and moment really. It was all kind of,

Reegs: we have essentially been told the entire plot already in the opening 30 seconds before anything happens you you're told exactly what's gonna happen in this movie and they do expand upon it and tell you it a few times, which

Sidey: which is a nice link to our kids thing later on as well. But anyway, we'll go onto that.

Pete: Yeah, so the, the queen G is played by Nicole Kidman, who at this point doesn't look like a wax model of herself, which she then looks like later on in the film. She, I was actually thinking like, Jesus, she's in good Nick. Considering like whatever age she is or was, or whatever, maybe was the lighting.

Sidey: can't get on with her.

I dunno what it is

Reegs: Oh, she's good. She's good. Dead calm. She's great in that. And,

She's good in big little lies, the Amazon series. So I watched, I like her,

Sidey: I just got a blind spot with her. Sorry. Sorry. Nicole Kidman fans. I hate her.

Reegs: Avin Dale takes, AIFF out to take part in a weird blood ritual to Odin,

Pete: which yeah.

We've all done it with our

Reegs: Well he did it with his father and so on and so on. And they descend into a pit don't they? And

they pretend to be dogs

Pete: but they give it like some kind of hallucinogenic or something

Reegs: to their

Pete: kids. Yeah. Yeah. So he's, he, you like getting

Reegs: Well, defo

is there they're all in their pants and will defo is there and he's throwing shit into the fire and looking

maniacal

Pete: Wolf or something.

Reegs: talking about introspection and he's he's telling him to look for foes all the time, but to, to be wise enough to be the fool in the room and never to seek the secrets of women, but always he them, because they know the way forward and that he should honor his you know, living honor and safeguard his life blood.

And then he makes his, you know, his father makes him swear and oath that if he's ever killed, he'll avenge him. Yeah. All under this hallucination shit. And then he is having visions of, sorry. He puts his fingers in a wound, doesn't he? And then they have visions of the tree of life.

Pete: So basically again, just sort of saying, this is the, this is the plot of the film.

Watch out for like rats in the camp. Watch out for birds

Sidey: I definitely die. The plot of the whole film would be for you to Ave my death.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah

Dan: And, and it's also this marking of him becoming a man, I guess, cuz he, he mentions that he's not gonna have long or he is he's gonna die to the wife.

Doesn't he?

Sidey: he he shows the wound.

He says, I've come back. I'm a bit fucked.

Reegs: It's kind of a bit of a dishonorable way to come back. You get that sense that, you know, you either die.

You don't come back wounded. That's that shit.

Pete: Well, he he's like hell bent on dying in combat from that point onwards, which I guess he kind of then does very soon thereafter

Dan: Well, that's it. It's almost

Reegs: well it's basically the next

Sidey: Well, they walk out the door and it's see you later.

Dan: well, and it had a couple of jumps like this that you just went, oh right now we're here. And he was walking along in the forest, near a house with his son and his brother comes along with a ton of his mates and

Sidey: we don't know it's his brother at first. Cuz he is got a great looking helmet or he's really creepy looking and they're all faces are cup. But as he approaches, he does take off his helmet and you realize, okay, it's the brother. And then he has a good few swipes at his head before comes off. But he does take him down.

The boys run away. Isn't it? Yeah,

Reegs: I wondered whether it was just once, but shown three times from

Sidey: has

Reegs: different

Sidey: it. It not a clean cut.

Reegs: Yeah. Because it happens later that there's a beheading. That takes three shots as well. So

Sidey: And, and the, the boy is just watching from behind the thing. I'm like, oh, that's probably a suboptimal day for him, but he does.

They, he then shout cuz they've seen him. They know he is with him and the brother says right. Fucking bring me the boy.

Pete: Bring me his

Reegs: head. Yeah.

Sidey: It's

pretty ruthless yeah.

Pete: a couple of his, like, you know,

Sidey: not so great Laies go off

Pete: Yeah, go off. Looking for him. One of them finds him. But he manage like the boy manages to cut his nose off.

to spite

Reegs: name

Pete: No, I didn't.

Reegs: His name was, he became known as Finner.

The nose stub. that's a good

ONET it So Yeah. Slices

Dan: Yeah Well, he given a couple of him, a slip by hiding didn't he? And then as he was creeping away, this nose snout guy giving the yeah. Yeah,

Pete: So yeah, the boy cuts his nose

Dan: and legs it.

And he's able then to get away because nose snout guy goes back to the king and says, no, the boy's dead. Obviously didn't want

Reegs: to He was embarrassed Wasn't he?

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Didn't want to have failed. So he said, he's dead. He's gone. He's in the sea.

Pete: He is in the sea, but on a boat. And once he's rowing his boat, he's saying, I

Dan: a

Pete: I will, I will Ave you father.

I will save you mother. I will kill you. near fuel near. Yeah. Which is his

Dan: And that's it. He's

Pete: And yeah, I imagine, I wonder how long it, cuz he's saying that as he's rowing off, I wonder how long it was before he stopped

Reegs: And how old is he? Do we reckon this kid? I'm

not good at the 12.

Sidey: I was gonna say 12. So let's go with that.

Reegs: So, and then there's title cards. I dunno if there's been, we've mentioned that, but there's been a few or there is a few throughout the movie ruins on screen.

This one says the land of the roo. Yeah, and we are sort of a few years later, we're

seeing Viking boats going down a river and, and it's really lush and green actually. And then cameras sort of zooms in through, and it picks out one particular one, which is AMLI.

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: And we recognize the the necklace. Obviously he's a, he's a lot bigger. He's a lot stronger.

Pete: He's

a big boy.

Reegs: He's massive. Right? He is enormous. He looks like a wrestler don't

he he's

Pete: of got shoulders on top of his shoulders.

Like

Reegs: His fingers are like just huge sausages, like yeah. Yeah, he's huge. And Hollywood's doing this at the moment.

Is it? Cause Chris Hemsworth is now just like, he's now just gonna play the Hulk yeah. In the next one.

just cuz they could he's

Dan: gonna paint him green.

Reegs: Yeah.

But yeah. And they're all

getting big aren't they?

Pete: Yeah. So he's he's living as a beca.

In in like a band of Vikings who are out in

Dan: these are kind of just what, like pirate, Vikings are they, these are guys

Pete: Vikings spent, yeah. They went out and spent time kind of collaborating with the, again it's covered in Vikings, go and watch the go and watch the, the sixth series covers all of that off.

Reegs: Well, so they're like, I figured they're kind of nomadic. They just go and conquer and keep going basically.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And, and they're also into fucking

Wolf shit as well. And there's also, you know, we've seen a lot of howling and whatnot earlier when they had to pretend to be a dog by, well, he pretended to not be a dog by burping and fighting, which shows a complete misunderstanding of both dogs and humans

in

Pete: was, that was quite, that was part of like the ritual with the dad where like the dad burped and the kid fired. And that was like, okay, this is interesting. But yeah. So what's his name? AMLO he there's like a, an attack in

Reegs: the, in

Pete: camp or something like that. And then there's a, a,

Reegs: we can't just gloss over. That was like a total one shot. You watch that right. Where it starts with the guy throws a spear and he catches it and throws it straight back and takes him out.

And then it just takes, it's a whole one shot for about two

And a half

Dan: And it goes through

Reegs: through the camp

He jumps off the thing and takes off a guy on a horse and then the camera moves away. And he's kind of in the background while all this other dramatic shit's happening. And, oh, man, I love that shit.

And it was really good in this. He walks his way, just ablating through everybody until the, the sort

of

Dan: bad. Yeah. There's, there's just, you know, defenseless, young women and things getting dragged into all kinds of places and houses are being torched. People got rounded up didn't they

Reegs: children, all base of the children and some of the women that weren't good enough.

Like Olga were, she was taken away to be a slave, but the, the children are locked in a house and sat on fire. That's pretty much the end of that one choice as, as he goes through, it looks at the house of the kids

Dan: it just gives you a, a sense of like what had happened to this kid, right? This is what had happened.

And they have a brief conversation say, oh, I remember when we picked you up, I knew you had a cold heart or a black heart or something. And you know, you are, you are one of us. And, and that.

you,

kind of got a sense though. He, he was looking for a little bit more and he, he was looking at some of the things they were doing and it didn't really sit with him that well, but there he is,

Reegs: Well he is got revenge on his mind. Dan, it's really the only thing that's driving him. He,

he, he, sees a Wolf one night out and it, it takes him basically to a building where B is a local

witches waiting for him.

Yeah. Yeah.

And she seems to know him as AMLI and she presses the crystal that defo gave him earlier, when he said, you've cried your last tear into his hand.

And she tells him to re not to forget his oath and to remember the Raven king. And she tells him that he's gone to an island in the north and he'll fight him by the burning lake of a volcano very specific. And then he's told to go and get a sword that will be the sword that he uses. So that was B.

Dan: yeah,

Pete: that was it. She was in it.

Reegs: That's a pretty crazy scene as well. Cuz she's had, has she had her eyes plucked out?

Sidey: she's got beads hanging down in front of her eyes. Like she looks shells or something. They're

just

hanging down from her headdress, just in front of her eyes. I think they were.

Dan: And then she just kind of disappears.

Sidey: puffed she's gone. Yeah. She was a puffer

Pete: Amla finds out that fi all new has after killing the king has not really like gone off to where he had intended to be and be the, like this Monarch and, and everything he's now just basically runs a farm somewhere in Iceland.

Reegs: He's a sheep farmer in Iceland.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pete: Yeah But did you encounter any sheep farms in your recent trip to Ireland

Reegs: there?

Weren't loads of sheep.

Sidey: Did you see, did you go into supermarket?

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: did you see like sheep's heads? Just like in the freezer, like, whoa, this is weird.

Reegs: no, I didn't see that a

Sidey: Oh man. Just like half a sheep head, you know, like the teeth or in the freezer? No, it's not quite like

Reegs: I went to two supermarkets, neither of them sold alcohol.

So that was, yeah, that was the real shitter of that

Sidey: blind me.

Pete: Mm okay. We digress. So he gets aboard of ship. He sort of like, STS away, but kind of sneaks aboard.

Reegs: He

cuts his hair and he brands himself with

the slave. marking

Pete: So he gets on the ship and this is where Olga's there again. And he sort of decides to have a chat with her and yeah, basically they they're,

Sidey: Anna Taylor joy.

Pete: They're hot for each other quite

Reegs: quite she's also, yeah, she's a slave and she, and there's a rough storm and he helps her they're panting together with the exertion.

Sidey: He helps her onto his penis.

Pete: not there and then

Sidey: it does happen

though

Pete: It does happen. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Reegs: And then we get another ROIK title card and it's Iceland.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: And they land at, at on the black sands at Vic and I was literally there. Yeah. Right. Lit honestly, literally I looked literally there like a few weeks ago black sands, mostly baled. It's incredible. And the slaves walk up the beach and we see the noseless guy from earlier.

Yeah. And then we see some shots of magnificent Iceland, just the, you know,

Dan: oh is beautifully shot.

This, this, you know, the, the scenery all in and around it's it is fantastic. You, you should point the camera, I guess it does a lot of the work, but it it's, you know,

Reegs: he still frames it up

Dan: Yeah, he does.

Reegs: Yeah.

He does still

frame it up Nice

Pete: I think he's already learned at this point that his mother who he's like keen to, to, to rescue has married fuel near and, and they've had a child together as well.

Reegs: But he tells alre, he knows that that's, you know, he that's been under DUS and

Sidey: mm-hmm

Pete: yeah, absolutely.

So I think the next,

Reegs: oh, we, we, we arrive at Iceland with fi and his son is talking to him.

His that's half brother analyst, half brother. Yeah. And he's talking to him about, what will I do? Will I inherit the land dad? And he's much more circumspect. He says, oh, you don't know next year, whether you'll be a king or a slave. So a bit more of a nuanced take yeah. Than the Raven King's war, thirsty area.

And his other son is in the background. He's a fucking lose machine and he's getting battered in training, and doing

Dan: getting angry at it.

Reegs: about it. Yeah.

Pete: What's the, what's the half brother guy

Reegs: Oh, the other one is thornier.

Is it that him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah The

Pete: So, but there's there's another scene with another sort of shame and magic.

Sidey: but it's a dude

Pete: it's a,

Sidey: it's

unusual Apparently for them, the witches would all be female.

Oh

Pete: yeah. He is a man witch. But he's got not the man witch from the Simpsons, but this is a, a man witch, but he has the head of the jest

Reegs: Mm

Pete: Will DFOs character.

Sidey: Yeah. Not in his great neck as he was last time we saw

Pete: No, no, he he's withered a little bit. He's not had as much work done as Nicole Kidman to, to make him look like

Sidey: He kind of

Pete: he's 60,

Sidey: He kind of Scouts him a little bit yeah.

To, to perform a ritual. Yeah. I thought because he holds the, the, it's kind of like a shrunken head now almost. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought that was gonna start actually speaking.

Dan: Yeah,

Pete: I was waiting

Sidey: it doesn't go quite as fantastical is that we just get a real close up of the

Reegs: does go quite as fantastic.

Sidey: We just get the eyes and then it's sort of speaking to him, but not quite as implausibly, if that makes sense.

Dan: you say it doesn't, but it does in later on

Reegs: Well in the next kind of bit Yeah.

because he describes a, a sword that he needs to, to go in fetch made of a rare iron and bound with the bone of a jot.

NA, when we were talking about them earlier

Dan: and then he throws a snake at him, which turns into a rope, which he lowers himself down into a pit, which isn't that far away,

Sidey: went a bit Indiana Jones.

If for me it's like last crusade or something.

Dan: And he, he wanders over and there's this guy who's even bigger than he is. Oh

Sidey: ID Willie Yeah

Dan: yeah. Who's got this sword on his lap and as he goes to take it awakens this, this

Sidey: guy

Yeah There was no jump scare cuz you're just waiting for him to, well, certainly I was

watching it waiting for him

Dan: he, he doesn't let go and then suddenly cue a massive fight in, in what looked to be like in a, the top of a boat

Sidey: it was a tumor or a burial

chamber of

Reegs: a cryp cuz he, he gave, came in from above.

Sidey: yeah.

Tales from the Crip

Pete: used to the vocal used to bury dead, like, like the, the high sort of rollers used to get buried with their ship, like under

Dan: the right that's then

Sidey: like in the dig yeah.

Pete: Oh yeah, exactly right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this guy, this is a, a mound dweller, an undead mound dweller played by Ian white, who was the very first no played by the very first sorry.

He played the very first mountain in game of Thrones. Oh, because he's seven foot one,

Sidey: Yeah He's big He's a big boy.

Reegs: Isn't

Pete: a fucking big dude. And that might link into something a little bit later.

Sidey: Well, they have a scrap. Yeah. And then they don't because it, is it real or not?

Reegs: Yeah, it hits the right sweet spot for me between fancy and realism.

Because you know, you can decide whether you want to, whether it all was just symbolism in his mind as he takes the sword and figures out, you know, the challenges ahead or.

Pete: Or whether he actually has a fight

Reegs: or whether he actually has a fight with a

Pete: you, but he beheads the, the undead guy and then immediately cuts back to the dead guy

Sidey: standing next to him again.

Pete: Yeah. And he just takes the sword from him. And now he,

Dan: when he gets his head as well and shoves it up his ass, doesn't he?

Reegs: yeah, he

Pete: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which I thought was quite funny

Dan: nice

Reegs: And he tea bagged it. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Basically. Yeah. So the sword can only be used at night.

Reegs: Yeah. It can only be unsheathed in the midnight.

Sidey: yeah.

And if you don't, then you go to

hell or

Pete: relate,

Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: ER,

Sidey: there was some, there was some condition that if you didn't do it right, you'd be cursed or something

Was

I was I half asleep.

Reegs: I think it was just, well, I don't know. I didn't get

Dan: I, I didn't get the, the full terms and conditions of the sword, but I,

Reegs: disclaimer.

Pete: Yeah, yeah.

Sidey: I'm sure there was

Dan: think there may have been yeah, something you would

Sidey: anyway it's it's embellished with magic marker on it. It's some kind of ruins that they've had stamped on it while it's being forged.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Mm-hmm nice.

Sidey: He hides it on the roof.

Reegs: He does. And Nia has taken a shine to Olga who has, you know, a couple of times said to, to Alet that we should, you know, pair our resources.

You, he tells her of his quest I'll help you,

Dan: Yeah. They've connected like from him taking himself to be a slave and to get in, into

Reegs: well she recognizes a good deal

when she

sees it

Pete: they've got the hots for each other.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Got the hots, but also can use each other cuz she's a bit of a witch and earth witch or something and she, so she can work men. He can break their

Sidey: Can me all

Reegs: if yeah, exactly. Yeah. Fuel near goes to, you know, get jiggy with her. And she says she's on her period. And then she wipes the blood on his face.

Pete: Yeah. I've never had that happen to, I know had someone wipe their period on my face, but I

Dan: it was a nice touch though. I, I thought that, you know, cuz she she's straight away trying to get this guy to fuck off isn't she? And and she hasn't got anything else to fight with. So there you go.

the job

Pete: the

next day. Yeah. There's a there's a game

Reegs: Yeah that's going on. There's A tournament in

Pete: A game of is called NA Natalie here.

Reegs: I've got Nat. K N a double T R

E

Pete: K N a double T L E I K R.

Dan: like lacrosse.

Reegs: It's like quid quid. But

Dan: quid,

Reegs: huge men beating the shit out of each other with bats. Yeah.

Dan: Hockey meets death.

Pete: Yeah.

And the main, we all know, we all know who the main big guy is. Don't we?

Reegs: Who was it?

Actually? No I don't.

was it The, the other

mountain Was it recent mountain. Yeah. Okay I thought it probably was.

Yeah

Pete: what's his name

they call him haw, like the, the world deadlift champion.

Dan: So he they're kind of five against five aren't they? Or four against four

Reegs: well, they're swindling numbers after a while in it.

Yeah,

Dan: because people aren't getting back up from the brutality of this game.

And at one point, the, the son

Pete: yeah Gunner

Dan: queen Gunda she, he runs on and he's getting all a bit excited and he grabbed the ball. But the

Sidey: ill this was ill-advised play.

Dan: everybody's saying it, I mean, screaming from the sidelines, drop it, drop the ball, sort of forget it. But he gets pushed over. He didn't really even hit him that

Sidey: much.

It was a little tickle, but I don't think he needed much cuz he's only

little Shrew

Reegs: he fucking about eight feet tall.

Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. So he gave him just like a little. Kind of chopping the boys out outfit the count.

Reegs: yeah but then he positions a ball by his

temple yeah.

And he's gonna smash it against his temple and he is gonna do it.

Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. And he just gets saved at the last moment by

Pete: luckily AMLI comes out and, and headbutts the guy to death.

Sidey: This was fairly brutal. The Mrs was like wince, like looking away.

Cause

Pete: I

was wondering whether there was gonna be a bit of a, what would you call it?

A

Sidey: A throwback.

Pete: yeah.

Like a, not on, it's, not on Easter egg or a meta reference or whatever, but I thought it was gonna look back and it be his face, like caved

Reegs: You don't get that shot though. You just get

the blood spatter on him.

Sidey: some sound effects that

are pretty

Dan: it's like, yeah. One

Reegs: it's in your

Dan: two head butts,

Sidey: just keep going.

Dan: And then he just doesn't stop. And it's like 20. And he's got blood and he kind of wanders off to himself, but it later that evening he's invited to meet tho yeah. And who says, woo, you proved you're sort of brave today and goes, you'll have some more privileges in some such way.

And and when he goes back to the camp, he finds that he is now the one that's laying the orders out to the other.

Reegs: Well they tell him he'll never

be a free man

Dan: And he can have older

Pete: like The

site supervisor or something. They give him a yellow. Hi, his jacket. Yeah. Yeah.

Dan: He's is, is become the foreman. They're given a wife. He'll always be a.

Be happy with you a lot.

Pete: Yeah. And he gets to pick her. He gets to pick a bird,

Reegs: He even says to him, oh, you can have the psycho, if you

want.

Pete: yeah. Period.

Dan: We, we found her unwilling or

Reegs: and yeah.

And they do sneak off for a shag. There's kind of a big celebration because they won the tournament and they sneak off for a SHA in the forest. And she says, her earth magic will stoke the flames of his sword, which is pretty pervy. But what she actually means is as well as enjoying his boner, that she's found some mushrooms

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: The

forest. That will,

Pete: she seems like a good fun girl. Yeah, yeah,

Reegs: Mm-hmm

Dan: Yeah she's

Reegs: and you know, the plan that they just explicitly say, we're gonna slip the mushrooms into the tea and we're gonna cause mayhem, it doesn't happen straight away, but that they're straight eight when you know, you know exactly where the film's going.

Dan: Well

Pete: and then he goes, so he goes on a bit of a rampage now, a doesn't he starts like offering people like

Dan: well, he

Reegs: he says he he's gonna torment him.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. So

Dan: is not good enough that he just dies.

He wants him to feel pain and suffering and fear. Yeah.

Pete: and everything like that. So I think,

so

Dan: does he start off with, I think just four guides guards that have fought for them. And he turns there,

Reegs: wait. It was what it was thorn thornier. It was his friends.

friends Yeah Kills all of his friends. Yeah.

Dan: all

Pete: kind of like nails them to

Reegs: a,

Dan: In a, in a

Sidey: in a horse shape.

Yeah

Dan: of shape.

Reegs: There's a great bit earlier where they're talking about being afraid of Christians and the snow stop guy says to him that God is a corpse nailed to a tree.

Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

That was pretty

Reegs: made me low.

Pete: Yeah. Well, there was a lot of like amongst the Vikings, there was a lot of fear of this fucking God and Jesus and all of that kind of stuff.

Reegs: then because they are Christians. I think the slaves aren't, they that's

part, of it

Pete: by this, by this time, but there was still like, cuz there was the,

Dan: drew

its

Pete: yeah, the Scandinavians who worshiped the old gods and obviously the ones who'd been over to and, and found, I guess a little bit more like meaning and enlightenment in this, like, you know, Jesus, character and everything.

So they, some of them adopted it and there was a lot of conflict as a result of that. So yeah, some of them would've.

But yeah, I mean, he, he's fucked these guys up, chopped them up and nailed them to a wall

Dan: and it's just gonna stoke the fear a bit more and it does, they get lined up outside.

He doesn't really get the finger of blame or suspicion pointed at him though, the Christians

Reegs: Well she says

the queen says to fuel near that who's fuel near the brother list.

The the threat must be from within because no, none of the slaves have access to swords. So she she's telling him to look within. Yeah,

that's fine Yeah.

That's why there's no looking at amla who you know, is still a hero and riding the wave of that.

Pete: Yeah But

Dan: and who doesn't have a sword

Pete: at

this point? AMLI meets mummy

Reegs: uh Meets her

Pete: in the, in the gaff.

Reegs: Yeah. Well,

we get the

mushrooms first.

Pete: Oh, right. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. Yep. So,

Dan: and he also, he

Reegs: disempowers one of the local witches as well. That's right.

Dan: She's the, she's the, the witch who'd gone to the, that human horse kind of figure and said, oh, this guy's gonna strike again.

Reegs: Yeah Cuz F near worships Frayer, he's a different

God So, you know, it's Oden and then Frayer.

Competing mushroom

Sidey: soup goes down well,

and there's some real bad trips going down. And so the guys are just stabbing themselves in the throat and in the face. And not having a great time with it all.

Don't do drugs kids.

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: Well, not those ones anyway.

Dan: certainly not. When people are welding swords around and they were in

breaks

Reegs: into the, the house now the, of Nia. And what is her name? Nicole Kidman.

Dan: Queen Guna.

Sidey: gun

Reegs: good run And he's UN he's been kind of under the impression the whole time. It's quite important that, you know, he's coming to save his mother and she's there under duress and, and all this stuff.

And he hides in her room. It's really weird anyway. And when she comes in, she starts to undress and he confronts her with his sword and she's immediately sexual about that. Their only way of getting out of it. And then she recognizes him as who he is. Yeah. AMLI

Dan: Doesn't make much

Sidey: She's horny for, it

Dan: yeah.

Reegs: But she tells him that, you know his father was a repellent man, a coward who preferred only money and

his whores and he was a product of rape Alet was. Yeah. And you know, she despised the pair of them and she conspired with fuel to,

Dan: she shows the scar doesn't proving that she was a slave and it was just because I gave her your, you know, and his son that he even tolerated me. He never loved me. Not like his brother. Yeah.

Sidey: But he certainly didn't give that impression when we'd seen him earlier.

Dan: No, but it, it just absolutely.

Reegs: It's ambiguous. I watched it a bit of it again, so,

Dan: but she changes then, and she says, but if you were to kill him and him and him, then it would be me and you. And she starts giving her son a massive French kiss.

Pete: Yeah, she's hot for her son.

Reegs: She's well, she's, she's playing it. I mean, in this world, you're kind of either a horror or a witch basically, or you work in the kitchen, you know, and she, yeah.

That's Unfortunately the

Dan: trying to survive and she's trying to but she's not coming across.

Sidey: It's

fucking weird I mean it's just

Dan: horrible. Yeah.

Reegs: It's really

Sidey: But Hornet at the same time.

Reegs: Yeah. He's bit spun out by that. So he does actually just basically leave.

Dan: Yeah.

Pete: And, and I think he takes his kind of like anger and frustration out on Thra by killing him and nicking his heart.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: Seems fair a

Reegs: in it.

Gruesome actually

Dan: could you start to see him. He, he, he storms out the room and he walks past, but then he checks back and stabs him once and he goes, again, you don't, I didn't realize then anyway, that he's actually cutting a circle around the guy's heart to take it with him. And

Sidey: then

shot to the heart

Dan: later on the next day, when the, well, I think it's probably a few days later, there's a bit of mourn going on, but he's, he uses it as a bargaining tool when he goes down onto confront.

Reegs: well they start lining up the slaves and he starts, you know, slicing their

throats at random And he's got the, the knife to the throat of Olga. Yeah. And so he comes down, he's like, I've got your son's heart.

Pete: And by, by this time GRE has, has like, let the cat outta the bag to feel near the AMLI is back.

And he's got the hump and

Sidey: he's paved Yeah,

Pete: he is. He's fucking right. Brown off so, and then, yeah, like, just as fi is about to, to slice Olga's throat open, AMLO appears with th thought is heart and says here, I'll give you your heart back. If if you leave her alone, seems fair. Seems like a fair

Dan: Yeah. It's a deal he wants. Yeah. And

he,

he's actually not taking the real heart though.

Is he? He's

Reegs: he gets he's. He gives a big speech on prince AIFF the bear Wolf and all that stuff. And he runs down beats the shit out of a few guys, and then he's eventually subdued and strung up

and battered. Yeah. And he's like,

but he keeps saying, look, I know exactly how this is gonna end, by the way, chaps. We're gonna have a fight down by the, you know, burning lake and, you know, so I know you're not gonna kill me.

Dan: That that's how it ends. He, he actually starts getting beat up because she's run off, which he had said for her to do, if she gets the chance and she just catches his eye. And that's the moment that he gets clubbed around the side of the head and he starts getting pulled on.

But as you said, it was his fate anyway to eventually. But he's strung up, isn't he? Yeah. And he's been beaten the fuck he's and they go out and these Ravens come in and start Peck away at the rope yeah. To, to release him. Yeah. Which gives him,

Sidey: that's a very sharp beak.

Dan: really sharp. I

Pete: will be sharp.

Sidey: picking up Yeah.

Yeah Okay.

Pete: Yeah. I could do that Ravens. They then Olga like comes and gets him and, and they get on a boat and piss off.

Dan: Well,

Reegs: Yeah Well she as he's taken away because he's obviously badly beaten.

Dan: He doesn't feel

Reegs: visions of

being taken to Val Haller by a Valery.

Who's got braces for some reason. Yeah.

Pete: I notice that.

Yeah.

Sidey: Really spun me out.

Reegs: if maybe some sort of, or teeth decoration they had in those days. I don't know. But then she takes him back to some incredible looking hot spring with the G like a waterfall in the

background And you Basically

you just turn, there's one of those everywhere basically, but yeah.

And he, then he has a shag with her

Sidey: Yeah

Reegs: in in the Giza with the waterfall and all

that.

Pete: that Mm. Yeah. And then they get on a boat and piss off.

Dan: Yeah. They, well, she's kind of sold the, the perfect life to him. She's sold. Look, I'm, you know, really into, we could get away together. I've got friends or family in ane or something we could get out there.

So it's well he realizes it's halfway

Pete: friends in the Orne aisle, so

Reegs: friends,

she

Dan: she says wifi. She says that she's pregnant.

Pete: Well, no, he has a vision. Yeah. Like, but she, before she even says it to him, he kind of like, he's sort of,

Dan: you got my

Pete: kneeling down and like looking almost like looks into her and sees

Dan: well he

Pete: they look like little like dolls or something, but he sees like a, a boy and a girl.

I think it

Reegs: like wait it goes up through the tree of life and you see like all of his ancestral bloodline, and most of them have died in combat in some way. And the, you know, branches off into a few areas that go nowhere and it comes up to him and then beyond him, beyond his father, beyond him to his children.

Yeah.

Pete: One of whom is prophesized as being the, the maiden king was prophesized by BJO earlier on.

Reegs: All

right.

Dan: right Yeah. And said, you know, that's that's gonna happen. So he

Reegs: but we've got that repeatedly. I mean, it comes through, they keep telling you exactly. Basically what is gonna happen. Yeah.

Dan: But from her point of view, she's just got on the boat and she must be thinking pregnant.

We are about to start a new life. We can start thinking about the house and everything. And he, he, your kitchen get a, your kitchen. We've got all that going on. And he, he takes that point to say, well, no actually I've made a massive mistake. What I'd rather do is go and kill that guy.

Pete: But I, I think

Dan: gonna be able

Pete: think he sees it as like, he will never, he'll never be safe and he'll never be like, I guess he won't like vanquish

Sidey: the Niel

Dan: He, he does say he does say

Pete: that.

Yeah. He's like, he's like, you know, until I fucking

Sidey: he's got a complete the mission, he's got a

Dan: complete

I'm I'm I'm worried. I'm worried

Pete: thinking like my kids will never be safe. My, we will never be safe. My kids will never be safe whilst he's still alive. So I'm gonna make her a big sacrifice. I'm gonna swim a long way. And then like, you'll be alright, cuz I'm gonna off matey boy.

Reegs: Yeah. Which

Pete: is yeah. Well,

Dan: she's not massively happy about it.

Pete: no I

Reegs: been told

Pete: like try telling you misses that. Yeah. Listen,

Dan: dived off the boat. yeah,

Reegs: He'd already been told earlier on, by at least one of the witches that he would face a moment of choice between family and pursuing his vengeance venge and that he should pursue his

Dan: value and, and he said it then didn't, he said, it's, it's not a choice. It's easy for me.

Pete: But he says it's both. I choose both because he's choosing to save his family by exactly. Yeah, yeah,

Reegs: yeah.

By

Dan: by doing the deed on the final fight. So he, he manages to get back up. And

Reegs: well, he sneaks into Ru and he starts off in people in the background and we follow Finner, the nose stub, and eventually he's taken out with a brutal like sword.

That's just push, he finishes the job

Pete: through the through the nose stub. Yeah. That was quite slow and painful looking. And he frees all the, the slaves says yeah, off you go.

Sidey: mm-hmm

Reegs: Yeah. He goes into the house and the mother, she jumps out of the closet with, and starts slashing at him and then is stabbed through the heart with

the the sword

that can be UN sheathed in the Moonlight or the nighttime.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: then the little kid comes out and gets he back stabs him like eight or nine

Sidey: Yeah. He really had a goat him didn't he

Dan: he really stab the kid and he kind of shrugs him off. And as he's done, he's does it with the sword in his hand and he just, you just hear it. And he sliced the boy unintentionally. It looked like, but, you

Sidey: We had to go They all had to go

Dan: And

Pete: then gunna is a goner.

Dan: then you see the, the brothers come through and you think right's gonna kick off here now, you know?

But he,

Reegs: well except we know though we know it's gonna happen by a burning lake,

Sidey: gotta be revenge of the sit star

Reegs: it's kind of happening, you know, the, the volcano in the background that we haven't talked about that looks magnificent has been rumbling and going.

Dan: so well. He, he sheath his sword and then picks up his son and he drags out his wife and leaves them on the kind of side of the volcano where they're about to fight, which hopefully wasn't too far away because quite heavy, I would imagine sure.

You know, to drag them all that way, but they he's had, as you said, about 20 stabs in the back by the little lad, he's already really injured and he's going in for this final fight now, and it's the red fire of hell lake. That

Sidey: revenge the safe

Reegs: size Yeah.

Revenge of the surf eight was the thing I was thinking

Sidey: Totally. Yeah.

Reegs: And they're there, they're naked. Aren't they

Sidey: so hot.

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: Not not all way didn't I think

Reegs: I wasn't sure. Because before battle, when his son is being buried in a thing with a, the headed horse, he St stands

there naked in front of everybody.

So I wasn't sure if they were completely naked anyway, they're either that or down to lo cloths fighting against this backdrop, it looks amazing. And they're step stepping over the little streams of lava that have come across. Yeah. As they fight. And it's an exhausting

Dan: And again, footwear, I don't think was really thought about too much. any no. You know, and it'd have been hot.

Sidey: It just seems like a real problem that they had

back in those days.

Yeah.

Pete: I mean, what, like what's gonna protect you from a volcano. I mean, CROs, aren't gonna be much use, I think

Sidey: it's well, no, but you need a sturdy

Pete: sort of some kind of heavy duty Gaia.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Eventually

fi gets like a massive blow in which reduces am lift to his knees.

And he's panting like a dog and he's got him at

Dan: Oh, he's gone. Yeah. He just needs, he just needs to walk one step forward.

And it it's all over us. Just slice the, the the, his head off. But he doesn't, he pauses. And he's they both had this kind of epic battle to get to this point. But then we see am, am enoughs kind of inner bear power and Wolf power and all the rest of it come and he just

Pete: it a big shout, doesn't

Dan: one final kind of go.

And they get back up and have. We all kind of battle against each other. Again, he, he probably wishes he'd had done it then, but

Reegs: it looks exhausting cuz the swords are clearly heavy and you know, hitting each other

Dan: they're both clearly injured as well.

Reegs: Yeah He's got big gash on his arm. Hasn't he? And then they, he simultaneously like he decapitates fuel near at the same time as fuel near pierces him through the heart and

Dan: it's it's some I the ending there. So they, as you say, just right at the, the same moment the head comes off and that's the bit that I, I saw first, you know? Oh.

And then you kind of realize

Pete: but it's like a silhouette, isn't it?

You don't actually see it's it's gotten so dark at this stage that you just see the silhouette

Dan: black and red. Yeah. The

headless

Pete: body still standing presumably cuz the, the swords gone through AMLI and then it's yeah. Yeah. They're both done for neither of them never danced again. No,

Sidey: but he has a vision

yeah.

Of Olga Lanco and their children living happily ever after. And then a valry comes

Pete: quite a sort of cartoony sort of Val.

Sidey: Yeah. Little bit

Pete: Ascension to Val

Sidey: but takes him yeah. Through the gates to, to Val Halla, which this is how they all want to go.

Pete: Mm.

Reegs: you see it sort of reflected in his eyes as he dies.

Dan: yeah,

Pete: That's it?

Sidey: Yep.

Dan: The

Pete: The end,

Dan: The north man,

Sidey: the

fan.

Pete: where what do we think guys Yeah,

Dan: it was beautifully shot.

Sidey: It was, yeah, it was that, and there was loads of weird stuff and loads of battles. And despite all of that, I was so fucking bored.

I know I'm fucking with a lone voice with that, but I, it just didn't help my attention at all.

and I found it was just, it just seemed like this is a little bit simplistic, but just like the lighthouse transport into a Viking kind of work, it just seemed like too similar stylistically.

Pete: I've not, I didn't, I didn't watch the, the lighthouse. This was not the film that I thought it was going to be. I thought it would be,

I

Dan: You thought it would be like the series?

Pete: I, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't really know what I was. Look, if I didn't know it was gonna be quite so like so much fantasy.

In it Right.

Which I didn't hate necessarily, but it seemed to be, it was quite confusing and

Dan: that mythology, it was almost like you were doing some of the trip in

Pete: Yeah. that's it Yeah. It was almost like sometimes in some scenes struggling to keep up with what the fuck was

Dan: going on.

Pete: on.

Like there's quite a lot of like really like trippy stuff going on. And I mean, really the story's very simplistic. It's like a, it's

Sidey: dad died Don't kill the guy. Yeah,

Pete: Yeah. Like that, and it was, it, it was quite having said that, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I was gonna, I was really fucking, like excited to, to see this film.

And it didn't quite hit the, the Heights that I thought it was gonna, but two hours, 15, which is long, but for me it didn't drag it, like there was enough like visually and story wise and you know, it, it held my interest all the way through, but it wasn't like a, a knockout punch for me, it was, it was good.

And some things I really liked other things. It was, it was a bit, I dunno, confusing. And

Dan: it meaned for me, I think during a, a, a section too long for, for me to have really got carried away, enjoyed it. But I did like the way that as say beautifully shot, I thought it was well acted. I, I liked the, the, the mythology. I like the, the theme anyway, you know, Vikings and everything like that.

Yeah, it just didn't, I dunno, it lacked something in there for me that just kept it moving along. I

Sidey: Well, we're gonna get the reason why it's brilliant now. Cause

Reegs: Yeah. I've I can't believe it. Yeah, no, I'm a bit shocked. Yeah. Yeah.

Everybody you are like is any okay. Or

Pete: I, for me, I didn't think

Reegs: I didn't love it

Pete: just totally kind of like center on one very kind of simple thing. I thought it would be, there'd be more

Reegs: players.

Oh big

Pete: players in it. More fucking scale. Yeah.

Dan: A little more. Yeah.

Pete: it was just a very, I, I wanted like the, you know, like the big Viking story and everything, and this was just like, it could have been, it could have been in, in any type.

It wasn't, it just happened to be Viking, but it didn't seem like unique to that other than, you know, then they embellished it with the, the themes of, of it all.

Reegs: But

Pete: it wasn't what I'd, I guess I, I really had hoped for, but it, I, I, I did enjoy it, but it, it wasn't,

give it like a six and a half seven.

Dan: I mean, maybe, you know, the, the themes you think that he was 12 when it happened and he's probably 30 getting on for that 25 30 anyway. He says years later, it doesn't give you a a, and whether the film is, is looking at that, because when you meet the, the guy who's done it, he's no longer a king.

He's just sheep farmer. You know, he isn't as rich or anything like that. I mean, is it as worth it? What,

Reegs: well exactly. No, that's, the theme is about, you know, it's a classic Shakespeare theme about revenge and, and the, you know, how it impacts everybody through collateral damage.

And it shows, I really liked the sort of details of the world that he puts together. And it often looks really beautiful. And I wasn't really sure after the lighthouse, whether we could make like a proper movie, but this one looks really good. A lot of the

time. has

Dan: I dunno. Think it,

Sidey: Don would agree with that.

Yeah,

Dan: Yeah. I mean, definitely looks, looks good. I dunno whether anyone's going to give him millions to go and

Sidey: go well he didn't have final cut of this

film.

Right.

And the original, the original cut that he put out there for testaments. It didn't have any of the what you call it. The chapter reference things where with the, with the titles, it was just continuous.

So no one had a fucking clue, like how much time had passed or, or where things would change location wise or anything like that. So it got hacked around a little bit and he said it was the hardest thing he's ever done making this film. And then having someone else effectively finish it was, was quite difficult.

But it would've been really hard to fucking follow without all that stuff, I think.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: you don't like movies where you get scenes of people by firelight going, oh mom, and like acting like a dog and stuff, this is not for you. But the, you know, I like, it's got the structure of like a classic action movie as well, where he's got this list of objectives to check to check off.

But when you, like you say, all of it's being subverted as well, his father, you know, his father was a piece of shit. He was a product of rape his mother conspired with the blood, you know, everything's subverted, but he's still obsessed by this thing of revenge and dying in battle. And we get to see that play out.

And then the fantastical elements are there just enough for you to be like, well, is this just him talking about, you know, an experience, a recreation of Viking culture, basically for that man who's in this endless loop of blood shedding over like land and all that stuff though. So yeah, it

Dan: Yeah. I mean, it, it, there was all that going on. I must admit where at the time I, I was really now I really enjoyed the the, the beginning really got you, starting to get into it. And I think, yeah, a couple of times when it just jumped and it just did those, those bits where you didn't expect it to, I dunno, whether it always took me with them E each time, you know, it was

Pete: Yeah. I thought, yeah, I know. I know what you

mean

Dan: there that I,

Pete: it didn't like lull for me or drag for me though. It, it, it just, it was, the pace was always there. Like, it was always something going on there wasn't just. Great, big long scenes of like dull dialogue and stuff. It was almost like in some respects, like almost like too sort of concise in, in some of those sorts of things.

It

Reegs: Well it's simple one

location

Pete: to the next Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: It sounds, you know, like maybe he's had not all his ideas portrayed on screen and whether all his ideas would be able to translate to us so we could watch it and enjoy it. If you didn't have those

Sidey: maybe a bit later down the line, there might be a director's cut that comes out.

It's a

Dan: It'd be interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: I thought this was pretty good.

Dan: Yeah. I didn't hate it.

I would tell you what I wouldn't have wanted pay for it.

did.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: I didn't

Pete: that, makes, that makes me like it all the more,

Reegs: there you go. That's the, that's a good barometer because I didn't mind.

Dan: Yeah. Okay. So there, there you go. I, I think, you know, it

Reegs: and I'm the Jew.

Dan: yeah.

Pete: so,

Sidey: Continuing the mythological theme with our kids' choice, Peter.

This is one where we're definitely gonna have to get the theme tune involved because it goes like this and wasn't that fucking brilliant.

Pete: yeah.

Reegs: That is

Sidey: And it's a double whammy because you get it at the intro and the outro, the full,

like lyrical

Reegs: content.

and there's a kind of acid rock bit in the middle as

well.

Did you get that?

Sidey: it's just

fucking

Pete: extreme that like so strong is the, is the theme music to this that I haven't seen this series since I was, since I was a child. Yeah. And yet I can clearly remember the theme June and it it's every bit as good as I remember it. So

Sidey: and the show, it starts by telling you exactly what's gonna

Reegs: the same as the north

Sidey: Northman Yeah. ,

Reegs: it's certainly the same.

Sidey: And I think that they repeat that, that in, in. Synopsis at the start of every episode, which makes sense in the later episodes. But when it hasn't happened yet baffling, it's strange. Yeah.

Reegs: Although I loved it cause I was like, it's the north man again? Brilliant.

Dan: Yeah

Pete: Yeah.

yeah.

You know exactly. What's gonna

Sidey: So this is UY 31.

It is. I

haven't seen any of the previous 30.

Reegs: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

but did you know that it was called

UY 31

Pete: No, no, it was just unies to me, but 31 because it's set in the 31st century. Yeah. Although it is again, steeped in like Greek mythology, you have all of the main sort of like

Sidey: yeah.

So Zeus is a real prick in

Pete: it.

Reegs: mm-hmm

Sidey: Winker.

Pete: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He just gets, it is like, just because like UY is dead to like get rid of his Cyclops, which is a, but,

Sidey: but, but that was to do with sacrificing kids so that they could see.

Reegs: yeah. They, the stuff, the Cyclops absorbs the energy of children, including his son.

Tous U Caesar's son Tous

And

who me?

Sidey: Yeah. Which is pretty full on thing for a kid show. Let's not forget that this is a children's television program, which features sacrificing children.

Yeah.

I thought was pretty

Dan: kids like that though.

Sidey: I don't remember

Dan: yeah. They get

Sidey: kids love a ritual

sacrifice don't they Yeah

Pete: I think that then it's like the all like they're roters because they're buggering about the kids.

Reegs: So

well there's stakes and

that becomes even more so, you know, the kids are out for the count and the Cyclops is going crazy.

And then you see, he's looking a lot like Kurt Russell, I would say.

Sidey: And he had these two like massive eyebrows on the front of his hair that were kind of weird, but I was into it.

Pete: He's got a strong beard game.

Sidey: real strong, the guy that did the voice, I wrote his name down

Reegs: Berman. Was it

Sidey: could be

Reegs: something like that.

I, I did

Sidey: Matt Berman. Yeah. He's done loads of stuff. Loads and loads and loads of stuff. So he's a stunt man, but also an actor director, producer and voice actor as well. So

Reegs: mm. He was on the expanse, which I've toyed with watching a

Sidey: Yeah. I just dunno if I've got enough time to dictate to dedicate to that. But yeah, this is really densely, like lots and lots of plot.

Reegs: mm-hmm

Sidey: It's a 20 minute. I

Pete: 24 minutes. Yeah.

Reegs: We set up how he angers the gods basically.

Pete: And, and basically as, as we've already said, like the opening sort of like not the theme tune, but the, the, the opening sequence that is there for the reminder of what's going on for everyone each week is like played out over 24 minutes in the first episode, which is basically everything seems to be well, tele yeah.

Is is having a birthday. seemingly

Reegs: the Odyssey ninth

Pete: birthday, cuz there was nine candles on the cake.

if you, if you counted them, his, his, well the, the thing that I'm gonna call TBO.

Reegs: No,

Sidey: no, no,

Pete: no, no. no Which is like the,

Reegs: he is a CU

Pete: the absolute, I mean it is it's fucking the, it, the always has to be like the light relief, quirky side kick

Sidey: Barb Orco, all the rest of them.

There's Legion.

Pete: Yeah. There's there's one in the, in the what's it called?

Sidey: Oh yeah.

Pete: Yeah. There's that? So

Reegs: which one of us is that me? If we were doing it of us, the annoying sidekick.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. The little sort of like furry thing. Yeah. Like the mascot. And yeah, they, they they're the

Reegs: he's done a smart thing because he's doubled up his son's birthday party as a going away party.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: So he's had to only do one bit of catering.

Pete: Okay. That, that makes

Reegs: a lot of

Pete: Thrifty. I like that.

Dan: They they're always heavy kind of plots the first episodes of things though, aren't they?

Sidey: Well yeah there was a, there was an actual pilot episode, but that was Japanese only.

And then this is essentially the same plot, but I think reanimated and some different characters put into it. So yeah, there is a birthday party and then the birthday party is interrupted by a giant orb of light.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Which comes towards them and they put up a shield or they don't call it shield.

They use some other terminology about it, which I can't exactly remember, but it penetrates the shield and takes telemetry or whatever's name is away

Pete: trigonometry.

Sidey: They zoom in using the computer on the spaceship and they can see that

it's

Reegs: thought I saw an ancient face in the stars and the other guy's like, yeah, but that looked like the Greek God zoo.

And it's the 31st century. They literally have that conversation. It's good. Yeah. Enjoyed that

but there's something sort of frightening about that. Like thing being able to intervene in your life,

like yeah.

You know

Pete: steal the kid. So you see him sort of like floating out across space. And then he ends up somewhere where there are other children

Sidey: and there's these blind blind sort of lizard creatures, or they just zombie like old people.

This is kind of hard to tell.

Reegs: oh yeah.

Sidey: they're the, they're the blind ones they can't see, but they will offer up these

Reegs: They've

got a crystal in their head, haven't they? Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: So

the there's a ritual child sacrifice to this Cyclops, this reimagining of the classical Cyclops as a robot kind of thing.

Reegs: It emerges from a big red hole in the planet.

Sidey: Yeah. And it will use the children's energy to, I think, enable these

Reegs: disciples

Sidey: to have sight. That's not cool. Uly sees he's not into that. No. So he basically kills as we've been told in the intro, he kills the Cyclops. Yeah. And effectively all Durans the planet. It

Reegs: It doesn't the fucking robot get involved with like, oh, cuz the there's a satellite dish and it takes a beam from the Cyclops and fires it back him.

Oh. But you knew it was gonna happen.

Sidey: But yeah, he just like he does all around the entire planet is gone. Yeah. So that's when there's the, the gods have to intervene cuz they're pissed about that, but they're just like really vindictive and horrible bastards anyway.

Yeah.

Kind of felt like they had it coming.

Pete: Yeah. Like Ze is like validating what they like the, the stealing and killing of children in order to be able to see stuff.

Sidey: Yeah So yeah.

And the punishment

Reegs: yeah.

Pete: The punishment's really like it's fairly sort of obtuse.

Sidey: and this is what I remember thinking back on. It is having all this crew just hovering this sort of undead state in mid air, and they're doomed to just fly around this, this unknown area of space until they eventually find Hades, I think was

Reegs: their spaceship, the

Sidey: so this sort of classical mythology element to it also reminds me, I dunno if I've ever mentioned star Trek next generation when Q flings them off into the Delta quadrant which is unexplored area of space and

Pete: is that sure that's next gen next generation

Sidey: happens with them. And then in Voyager obviously is the series that is that, but this one episodes, the first,

it's the first meeting of the Borg. Yeah. But getting back to this, that's the plot then forever more there's 26 episodes, I think. And probably a second series as well. Yeah. I don't actually know how it ends, presumably they get back.

I dunno.

Reegs: I think I probably watched it though.

Sidey: Yeah,

Pete: I remember watching this sort of

Sidey: I remember, but this was all just going over my head, you know, all this

Dan: I I'd never see the so I'd never seen this episode and then never got to see them in order or anything.

You know,

Sidey: just pick 'em up every now and then '

Dan: em up every now and again. So you wouldn't really know what was going on, but the animation, the story, just the everything was happening in that particular episode was brilliant. And you just wished that you'd seen, you could see the next one. See what happens next.

Often time was though it'd leave on a cliff.

Finish on a cliff hanger or something, or, and I wasn't there to, to know what, so I'd have to sit

Sidey: out Yeah.

But it's that real classic I'm gonna say. Yeah. Cuz this is 82, I think

82,

Dan: Is

Sidey: 81,

82 classic animation of that time, hand drawn looks really great. Reminds me of about, of the planets as well. That sort of era really cool.

Reegs: Imaginative

as well, really like out there designs and color

Sidey: and just fucking the amount of plot they throw at kids.

like, you know, is just fucking insane.

Reegs: I bet the, the rest of it, that is a really strong opening episode that all happening. I bet the rest of it dips in quality

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: them like floating around,

Pete: drawing it out for 26

Sidey: episode. Yeah. Them just going to the vending machine and it's empty and oh man, I'm really hungry.

And that's like,

that's three episodes Yeah.

Yeah. But this particular episode that we watched outstanding and the theme tune is one for all time.

It

Pete: is

an all

Sidey: It's something else.

Reegs: Yeah. It really is.

Pete: Yeah. Are you gonna watch the.

Sidey: No.

I mean, I would like

to, I

Pete: I might, I, I think it'll be one of those things where I'm not quite ready to go to bed 24 minutes.

I'll power through an episode, gonna see if I can get on board with a bit more of it.

Sidey: Okay. That's good. That is a strong recommendation in that case.

Pete: Yeah, I might, yeah, I might do that. And cuz I did it with,

Sidey: Well report back serious

Pete: mysterious city was gold. I did it. I watched the

Dan: which is brilliant

Pete: or whatever to get to the end and

Sidey: all died

yeah

Pete: it in my own time. So I might,

Sidey: in your own mystical time. Yeah. Cool,

Dan: like that

Pete: one. Cool.

Sidey: That was a really long episode. So let's just cut to the chase. I've got some nominations for next week.

I have actually got a themed week and I don't do this very often, but the top five is going to be top five policemen.

Dan: Okay. Cats

Reegs: have we had detectives?

Sidey: I dunno, but we doing top five policemen, policemen, well, police people,

Reegs: police, police. What is the,

Dan: it's a cat.

Sidey: no coach

Reegs: now or like they're all actors or I got confused about this the other day.

Sidey: Dunno. Now one of these is the mid weeker and one of these is the real one. They're both foreign language films. Okay. And to be honest, I think they're both on prime, but you gotta rent them that it might be

It might be that they're not as easily available as I thought the mid weeker is PTU. I dunno if that's PTU or it's two, like as in the silent P and then two that's a Hong Kong movie.

Dan: Right.

Sidey: And then for our main feature, we're watching a film called cop secret. That's a nice lambic film.

So,

Reegs: and we're going big with Iceland shit

Sidey: Yeah, I know. So I thought that was pretty cool. Cause you've just been there re so it's set in REIC I do believe, and then the kids thing, I went for the animated police academy series, I'll hit you up with an episode.

Reegs: Well the, the one that was that like a nineties

Sidey: Yeah. I'm almost certainly gonna be dreadful, but we'll check it out and see.

And if I can find anything that potentially could be better than that, I'll let you know, but that's what we're going for for now. But until then, all that remains is to say Saudi signing out,

Reegs: res out,

Pete: Bye.

Dan: Dan's gone.