The Fabelmans & The Smurfs

The Fabelmans

Reegs: [00:00:00] Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, where just like climate change, we continue to get worse, but nobody does anything to stop it. This week Caesar celebrating the definite article, a word used to refer to a specific noun that is already known or has. Been previously mentioned, the most basic concept we could possibly discuss without resorting to interpretive grunting.

Our main feature is Steven Spielberg's, the Fable Man's, a deeply personal film from cinema's Mo most commercially successful director about his foundational experiences, how his parents', individual quality shaped him as a person and a filmmaker. How their divorce affected him, and the tension that it's created trying to reconcile family and art and for our children's television choice will be smurfing ourselves silly as we watch the Smurfs, tiny blue Belgian communists living in a Mushroom Utopia.

A show that taught children valuable lessons like One Women per hundred males works absolutely fine, and if you're evil, your name will helpfully reflect that.

Sidey: Is

that where Bonnie Blue comes from then?

Reegs: Definitely. Yeah, that makes [00:01:00] sense. Yeah. You've already made a series of poor choices in your life. If, if you've found yourself listening to us.

But if you're afraid of, afraid of explicit language and spoilers, you might as well make just one more and keep on listening. All that's left to do is introduce the dad, starting with Dan. He so old. He remembers when spam was just canned meat and when trolls were characters in fairytales,

Dan: aren't they?

Reegs: Mm-hmm. Isn't next up, eye catching Chris. He approaches watching films with the enthusiasm of someone getting their prostate examined and almost certainly thinks a film exploring the formative years of one of cinema's greatest storytellers should have a runtime, the equivalent of a wrestler's microwave burger cooking instructions and just barely making it is the man who told me off air that he's been up all night stroking his magnificent cock.

Which I think we can all agree is perfectly reasonable for someone who takes poultry competitions. So seriously, it's sidey.

Sidey: Yeah, I am a former chicken. handler.

Reegs: did actually With prize winning or

Sidey: No.

[00:02:00] The they were strictly Amateur, but I did have four chickens at one point.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: They're just like walking meat machines.

That shit food every day is brilliant.

Sidey: Yeah.

They do. Encourage rat population As

well, which Is

suboptimal.

Cris: Why? Because of

Sidey: has food. out constantly and stuff. Yeah, Yeah, yeah,

Yeah. We lived

near water,

which generally get a lot

of rats.

Reegs: The chickens do it. Is everyone all right?

Cris: very good. Yeah.

Sidey: We have established that it's three weeks

till we all go away

together.

Cris: On your,

Dan: Oh my lord.

Sidey: wearing suits

and, getting, Having alcoholic

beverages.

Reegs: Yeah. I'm already terrified.

Cris: also gold chains with snakes on them.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Well I,

I'm bringing that to the party. I dunno what you should bring to the party. I think they're a little bit of gold

Sidey: I'm thinking some

sort of extravagant hat.

Yeah.

Dan: EZs Sonny's. Because they're not all gonna make it back alive.

Reegs: I'm gonna bring anxiety, I think, for the group.

Dan: Def definitely. I, I would love to see you just [00:03:00] bring some gold chain loving, you know, Goldie looking chains. Anyway.

Yeah.

Sidey: So we've got that to look forward to. And you've also got Japan, you're gonna be away before that in Japan.

Cris: Yes.

Sky.

Dan: RA Yes, I am.

Sidey: Land of the rising

sun.

Dan: That's it. Head over to the far east on Monday

Sidey: we've got Blossom here. you know, you don't have to go that far just to see.

Dan: Yeah, well it's, it's I'm being forced to go. Really. There you go.

Sidey: I'm sure you have a

Dan: I, I will. Kicking and screaming.

Sidey: There's been stuff on the telly. Did anyone watch it?

Reegs: Yeah, I've watched a few things

actually. Go ahead. Well, last one laughing I talked about on the, in the

Sidey: okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reegs: group. That was pretty funny. Bob Mortimer being

Sidey: I've watched

that via the magic of TikTok where I've just. Distilled it down to just the Bob mortem bits. Because I don't care about

Reegs: the best way, although Io Addie is surprisingly

Sidey: Those two interacting,

I not not bothered about anyone

Reegs: else.

Yeah. And a couple of the, the women are quite funny as well and Joe ly on it too, if you like him. And I watched the studio,

Sidey: Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Reegs: the Seth Seth [00:04:00] Rogan's new thing on Apple tv, and I really enjoyed the first episode.

Dan: Oh, really? Was that good? I've, I've, I've looked, I've looked at it, but nothing gets played apart from modern family in my house

Reegs: Oh, it's good that

Dan: It's just, we are up to season eight, and I must admit, we all enjoy, it's one of those things that we can just jump in at any time. And now we're seeing the characters and the kids that obviously started quite young and are getting older and they've all stayed in it, and they, they haven't brought

Sidey: so The younger brother, the young kid in it. Luke, Luke, super

genius in real

Reegs: Oh, is

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like Mad IQ

Dan: oh, which one? Matt, Manny, or

Sidey: the, the, the, The youngest kid in the family. Not,

not, Not

the gay family, the Phil and

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: So the two sisters and the Brother

Dan: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Alright. Hides it.

Sidey: I

Dan: wouldn't have thought it because he plays

Sidey: he plays a dumb

Dan: really dumb ass.

Yeah. But it's, there's so many laughs in it. It's just really, really clever, Ryan.

Sidey: Yeah. No, it's good. It's a good. Show.

Cris: I've seen I, I [00:05:00] mentioned it last week, but I was I dunno why I was so confused about what I watched.

It's this Narcos thing. The, the South Korean people thing that I said about last week. It's called Narco Saints. Right. And it's based the, the action of the movie, or 90% of it is in Surinam, which it wasn't Peru or Colombia. It's still a South American country, but it's it's in Surinam and it's, there's basically a guy that's struggling in South Korea.

His mate comes to him and says, skate the actual fish is, you can get it for free in Surinam because they don't eat it. They just throw it back in the sea. Can we, you just sell your business or do something and it will, will go and import it because in South Korea we can make a lot of money with it. And then they end up in Surinam and somehow the.

The most popular South Korean person in Surinam is a preacher that is also the biggest drug dealer in Surinam, and he's got connections to the president of Surinam and he's the only person that's allowed to deal cocaine in Surinam. [00:06:00] And the Chinese mafia only deals meth. So it's, it's the, basically the six episodes of this guy's story and all this six part story is based on a real person and real event.

Dan: People that are listening to this at home are only getting half the picture because Chris is in shorts and he's kind of legs spread and it's just looking really hot.

Sidey: Yeah, I know. Yeah. If there's a

visual medium, then you'd be in

Dan: it top of the Apple charts

Sidey: I don't remember if I watched anything, I watched a lot of YouTube content and I did stumble across a YouTube guy who was a travel blogger and he was one of the people that when North Korea recently reopened

its borders for travel.

Oh, right. He

went

in there and then they

like immediately shut it down and

he had he went to the super happy friendly center, it's called something, it is literally called something as ridiculous as that which is near Russia or China, or one of, them is. anyway, it's to commemorate a visit of someone and they've got a visitor book and he wrote something as naively stupid as I [00:07:00] just

hope for

World peace, you know, honestly, something is cheesy like that.

Yeah. And then they reviewed, it, you know, he wrote it and then they looked at it and they're like, do you think that's appropriate?

Dan: Yeah. Have email,

Sidey: I

dunno, the story, It's like fairly innocuous. And they're like,

you know, and then,

and then it was in the news that they, they then closed the borders. I

don't

Reegs: amazing.

Sidey: Dunno if

it's because of him, but it's just like.

fucking,

it's like absolutely nuts. The

Dan: that on YouTube?

Sidey: yeah, So he travels to all these like places that are really difficult to get to or just outta the ordinary, or whatever, but it did seem other than the novelty of going to North Korea. Just shit, you know? it was Just like fairly,

Dan: there's not much to see,

Sidey: to

see.

and you can't see anything 'cause they won't let

you see it, you know? Yeah. So

it just seemed, other than having saying that you've been to North Korea, it was like fairly

Dan: you, you look Yeah, that's all I've ever been able to gleam out of anybody's adventures to North Korea. It's just to say you looked down the, the hotel hallway and went to your room and then said you went to North Korea, but you [00:08:00] reminded me of something else I watched and it was a YouTube thing and a lot of the content I guess I watch these days is through YouTube.

And it was a thing called Gary's economics. Have you ever seen that? A guy called Gary. Does economics and he's he's really clever in explaining

Sidey: economics,

Dan: tough

economic subjects to idiots like myself,

Sidey: goes through tariffs,

Dan: goes through loads of stuff, but he's from a poor background. And he's able then to understand and break down why poor people never get rich because of the system stacked against them.

And he's like super clever, like Oxford kind of clever. But it's worth checking out Gary's economics. Yeah. Like that

Sidey: strong. recommend.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Sidey: We had a bit of chat about Tarantino online.

Yeah.

We had one

actually read one on, and it was Tarantino's goat interview with Jan when when he starts [00:09:00] losing, you know, we talked a bit about how he loses it.

Cris: Oh yes. Yeah.

Sidey: This one interview again asking about, why his films are so violent. 'cause it's fun. Jan,

Anyway, you can see

the video. It's on our Discord channel. It is good.

Reegs: Yeah. Mel posted one as well of,

Sidey: oh, the guns, chicks of

Reegs: with Guns being featured on way before, even before Jackie Brown,

Sidey: think.

three, four years before,

Reegs: yeah. On a late night, I think Australian,

Sidey: was, yeah. The late night show.

I think it was called. Yeah.

Reegs: So that was pretty cool.

Sidey: It was very cool. And we're gonna get on talking about the definitive

Reegs: Yeah, let's do it. Definite,

definite article. Yeah. Definitive

Sidey: one's. Even better. Yeah.

Reegs: Rings. Yeah. The,

yeah, the, yeah. And I didn't mean for this not to be inclusive, we were just talking a little bit earlier

Dan: the,

or the,

Sidey: I

say the,

Reegs: I think it depends on the, the circumstances.

I think I say the,

Sidey: yeah,

Dan: I'm a the Chris.

Cris: I don't really know.

Reegs: It's the difference between the definite article in is basic and indefinite article is essentially [00:10:00] the difference between the dog and our dog.

Sidey: It's definitely that

Reegs: that the dog has been, you know, previously identified or is known to you or me versus our dog, which is generic, a generic dog.

So that is really all that it was about. I just thought it was funny to base a mo a week around the word the,

Sidey: we

did the.

Reegs: Yeah.

Yes.

Sidey: The Smurfs.

Reegs: Smurfs. The Smurfs. Yeah.

Sidey: So, yeah.

Cris: Right.

Reegs: don't think we've ever smurf before, have we?

Sidey: No. No,

Reegs: no. Just felt like it was missing.

Dan: Surprising.

Reegs: Yeah.

So the definite articles, yeah. Who's dying?

Dan: well I guess it's you, it's your week. It's your big week.

Reegs: Well, I did think of where is

Cris: So, while you're thinking, can I just ask if, if I say The Dark Knight? Yeah. Does that count?

Alright. Okay. So, okay. I, I don't have to do a re any, sorry. I, I just didn't really [00:11:00] research that because I

Dan: You roll up,

Cris: sure what's going

Reegs: No, that's fine. You can just name

Sidey: anything with

Dan: you an encyclopedia. Could

Reegs: in the middle, Chris. 'cause it's just the word duh. But yeah. So I thought about movies where you can, you know, place it there to make it a completely different movie. So you've got Suicide Squad directed by David Re in 2016 and there, which was shit.

And then the Suicide Squad six years later by James Gunn. You had Batman, 1989, the Tim Burton one, and then you had the Batman.

Sidey: You were on the fence of it, aren't you?

Reegs: is okay. Yeah, I did like it, but it's pretty

Cris: it. Is the Batman the one with Michael Keaton?

Sidey: No other way around. Batman

is Michael Keaton. Yeah,

the Batman

is our Pats.

Reegs: yeah. Oh,

Cris: Oh, right, okay. Yes.

Reegs: like it, but he was fucking moping all the time as well.

Cris: Surely our pats is better than Michael

Sidey: No one's better. than Michael Keye and

Michael.

Reegs: You want

Dan: Michael Michael Keaton played it really well.

Reegs: Get nuts.

Dan: But but they're

Sidey: But there are different. there, different.

journeys. Arpac is at the start of his journey. He's younger. He's, He's

Dan: our parts is, is gone down the [00:12:00] dark night kind of route. He is a little more dark and, and

Cris: Yeah.

Sidey: he is more detective. He's only, lost his kid, his parents when he was

a kid. But

he is still young in that one. Michael Keaton's, you know, he's, he's fully into his Batman years.

Dan: Mm-hmm. It's been a time since I've seen Michael Keaton's one. revisit

Sidey: in something this week. What was it? I know it was Jack. it was,

Jackie Brown. I

Reegs: Jackie Brown. He was good, wasn't he? And then you had the mask, Jim Carey, and then you had Mask starring Cher and Eric Stoltz. So they're pretty different different movies. And then some franchisees play fast and loose with this within their own things. You've got the Cannonball Run was followed by Cannonball Run two.

The first sequel to The Exorcist was Exodus two. And then it went on and on. The French connection followed by French Connection two. And Terminator as well was the, the Terminator was the only one that has

Sidey: ah, the, so it's just a generic Terminator

after that. Yeah,

Yeah.

Dan: T two.

Cris: [00:13:00] Okay. Interesting.

Sidey: Can we go music? Yeah. Outta the gate. The the,

Reegs: yeah.

Dan: right van.

Sidey: I really like them. Yeah. They have an album. I'm gonna get the guy's name because he does deserve, being talked about. His name's Matt Johnson. He formed

the, the

in 1979 and the joke is that they can never play up north 'cause they don't.

you know, they say,

But Their first album is my favorite. It's called Soul Mining. It's Fucking Great. It's got, this is the Day and it all has a giant on there, which is about nine minute fucking epic. Strong, strong recommend for that album if you ever get a chance to listen to that.

Also other real good ones, the Beatles.

Have you ever heard of

them? They're quite good. Yeah. Who's your favorite Beatle

Reegs: Ringo.

Sidey: Yeah. of course.

Yeah. But It's not gonna be the other two, is it?

Dan: Well, Lennon, I, to be honest, they're all legends. They are they are But I, I, I normally lean towards Harrison.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Sidey: I'd be a Ringo guy, [00:14:00] but the Rolling Stones are quite good. The Beach Boys. The Cure.

Cris: Yes.

Sidey: Doors One

of your,

Dan: got the them

Yeah. As Well,

You know, with Van Morrison?

Reegs: Morrison.

Sidey: Ah, right. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. That was his first band, I think. Yeah.

Sidey: I've always hated Van Morrison.

Have you? Yeah.

I hate, it, but sorry, I just never vibed with his music.

Reegs: We had it on

Dan: Oh,

Reegs: yesterday for Mother's Day. It was

Dan: oh, what a seminal album. It's amazing.

Sidey: I've never heard a semi listening to that

The Smiths also very, very

Dan: Another the, yeah, the

Sidey: the Smithers.

Cris: The Who? Yes.

Sidey: Yes. The the who,

Cris: yeah.

Sidey: So yeah, loads of bands I've always liked, and seemed to gravitate towards bands with the, in them, the Breeders, the Pixies.

Dan: Well, the, the who did the Tommy Rock Opera, didn't they?

Sidey: They sure did. Yeah.

Cris: well, on that topic, I'm gonna say The Clash, but just because I just remembered about them and that they, they are a band. Mm-hmm. As well. I had The Wicker Man. Was that the Wicker

Man or was

Reegs: it was, yeah,

Cris: it was, it was The Wicker Man, right? Yeah. Can I take that? He

was, [00:15:00] yeah.

Dan: Oo,

Reegs: course you can.

Dan: yeah.

Cris: Okay. Big time.

Yeah, because I've seen the, the actual Wickerman Yeah. The film and the wickerman inside the film.

Reegs: Mm.

Cris: And I, I'll never forget that film now that I've watched it

Reegs: And Lord, summer aisle.

Sidey: Yeah.

It's great.

We did

it for the part of me

Cris: Yes. Yeah. I was, I was really inspired after watching that because I've never seen it and it's, I can't believe that I've, I've lived all this long without seeing that, and now that

Sidey: I've got a

Cris: I get, I'll

Sidey: a pal of mine who is from Sheffield. He moved over to Jersey.

Oh God. Good. Good. While ago. getting on for nearly 20 years ago. But all his friends when they talked to him refer to Jersey as Wicker Island.

Cris: Oh really?

Sidey: They think, they think we go up

to called Pagan rituals. Yeah. they,

Dan: They

think

Reegs: if only they knew.

Dan: exactly. See if you can guess.

This film,

a clerk allows his superiors to use his apartment for extra marital affairs, but faces complications when he falls.

For one of the women involved. He won five

Sidey: Oscar, the old couple,

Reegs: the apartment,

Dan: Best Picture [00:16:00] and Best Director is the apartment to with Jack Lemon. And

Reegs: I don't think I've seen it. I know it by reputation.

Really

Dan: good one. It was like Ty. Put the tie on the door handles

Sidey: Don't

Reegs: Oh yeah, yeah.

Dan: knocking it. Exactly. And yeah, it was, I think they've redone it.

I've never seen the redone one. It will be Wonked. Yeah. But I, I did watch the original and remember thinking, I just don't think they made films this racy back then. If it was black and white

Sidey: no. Of course they did. 'cause you getaway with murder. Yeah,

Dan: they absolutely did. And it, they really, but,

Sidey: had a similar thing in Mash. In mash, where they would go and fuck in the one of the tents, you know, and that similar thing on the door.

there was, I think there was a, clo if the coat hanger was on the outside of the door, they knew not to go in.

'cause don't there

Dan: knocking. Yeah. If it's a rocking, don't come knocking.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: You into some different lists of things

Sidey: massively.

Reegs: a lot of patterns that you can see.

The plus color plus noun, so the green mile,

Dan: the color purple.

Reegs: violin, the color purple when it's the other way around. But [00:17:00] yeah, the Blue Lagoon, the yellow submarine, the Pink Panther and the Golden Child all fit that pattern. The number plus a quantity of things. The 400 blows. The Hateful Eight. The magnificent seven.

Yeah, the three Amigos, the Six Sense, and the Fast and the Furious. There's two in

Sidey: Isn't there.

Dan: isn't name of your sex tape the

Sidey: thousand? Isn't there a thousand Blows that, that's the

Stephen Graham

Reegs: Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's more, more your sex tape.

Sidey: 600 more blows.

Reegs: The time, the plus a time period, the longest day, the end of summer, the day after tomorrow.

The action Verb plus a noun. The Running Man, the Crying Game. The kissing booth and my personal favorite the plus a mysterious proper name plus an abstract noun. The, A Ville Curse, the Ville Horror, the Andromeda Strain, the Belco Experiment, the Bourne Identity, the Cloverfield Paradox, the Iger sanction the Parallax View, the Da Vinci Code and the Hudsucker proxy

Sidey: big, big fan.

Reegs: that pattern.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: There's a lot

Sidey: You said it, man.

Cris: that was

Dan: [00:18:00] Yeah.

Sidey: What about Silence? the Silence of the Lambs. Ah,

Dan: yeah. Okay.

Sidey: And

the Sound of Silence by Simon Mc Garfunkel. Both very similar themed content,

Dan: both featuring

Sidey: Cannibalism.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Silence

Cris: The Hangover.

But I, I'm actually curious if this is part of your thing with, is it the second one? Is it the Hangover two or is it Hangover two?

Reegs: I don't know. I

Cris: I don't know. I can't remember if it's the, but the first one is definitely the Hangover.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Cris: And then I can't remember the second one, but the first one was definitely the best one. The other ones were just, yeah, the

Sidey: one

was the same, but in a different

location. Third one was just ship else

Cris: and they wanked the monkey off and that was it.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: I remember the first time

Sidey: saw it's the hangover part two.

Cris: Is it? Okay.

Dan: I remember the first time I saw that I did, I had not heard any hype about it whatsoever. I had not even. I think aware of Bradley Cooper or any of

Sidey: didn't know Zack

Dan: No.

Sidey: Ed Helms, none of

Dan: and, and watched it around it Swayze's place actually. And [00:19:00] was laughing my head off.

It just took me completely outta surprise when you, you don't, when a film that funny and good is, is come out the blue and you haven't had any hype about it other than sort of a mate going, oh, this is pretty good. To enjoy it. Really just, it was fantastic. It really stayed with me. And you're right that the other ones, subsequent ones weren't

Sidey: you've been to Vegas.

Dan: I've been to Vegas, but I've been with my parents, which isn't really gonna Vegas,

Sidey: No. I've been on quite a few sta days and had, obviously you cannot go

to that level.

Yeah. But

I've had some pretty wild times in

Reegs: some glimpses

Sidey: so

Dan: what you say because it's gotta stay in Vegas.

Sidey: But it is funny when you.

watch that and you think, yeah, that's good.

Reegs: Play work.

Dan: let's get a tattoo and get married. Yeah. Right.

Sidey: Oh, and Heather, I've always had a

soft Heather Graham,

Yeah, She's good in that.

Dan: well I've had a, I've

Sidey: a hard spot

for, and

Cris: a we spot the we or the we spot.

Dan: Are

you up for another one, Chris, or

Cris: No? No.

Sidey: I don't think it'll be Rigg

Cris: fire [00:20:00]

Dan: two con artists team up to execute an elaborate revenge scheme against a crime boss who killed their friend.

It won seven Oscars, including best picture and Best Director.

Reegs: The Sting.

Dan: Absolutely the stink. So this was Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Robert Shaw. Yeah. What a great movie this was.

Sidey: haven't seen it yet. I

absolutely

Dan: loved this. I remember watching this as a kid

Sidey: don't give too much away.

'cause I still haven't seen it.

Cris: what is it.

called?

Dan: good.

Sidey: The ring, Sting, this

Dan: and they did this sting too. Again, you know, lot to live up to, but this sting was just two grifters going about their their job just trying to hustle and make a few quid. It all goes. Tits up for one of their guys. And so they go, right, we're not having this.

We're taking this guy down. And they go for some huge elaborate sting in, in order to rob this guy of his money, but not actually let him know that he's been robbed. That's the sting. So he goes [00:21:00] away thinking he's got away with one here and he is just happy to get away. And that's this thing, you know, it's, it's, it's so you

Reegs: Yeah. I don't give too much away, Dan. It's because

Dan: it's, it is a, it is a great

Reegs: and turns, but it's a good one. Yeah. Well, characters called the something. Oh,

Sidey: Oh yeah. Nice.

Reegs: like, well, you've got a two for In The Big Lebowski.

Sidey: the dude, you've

Reegs: you've got the dude in Bill and Ted's excellent adventure.

Billy the Kid is Mr. The Kid drew Barry Moore's love interest in the Charlie's Angels reboot was the Chad Blade is known as the Day Walker. You've got the Wolf in Pulp Fiction. We were talking about Tarantino last week. That was his.

Sidey: We have got quite a few, our football

club

Reegs: of theirs. What have you got?

Sidey: The wall, the

half?

Reegs: I've got, there's a Hoff. I speak

Cris: the Shepherd.

Sidey: The shepherd. yeah. Okay.

Yeah. we've got a few. Yeah.

Dan: Flying Pig.

Reegs: Flying Nice.

Cris: What

is that the

thing

Sidey: an old goalkeeper? Yeah.

Reegs: There's you, somebody was talking recently. [00:22:00] It was Pete about watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Was it? Or was it you?

Cris: No, Pete.

Sidey: It was Pete. Yeah,

Reegs: Oh, he, there's a, a sequence where they talk about, does he have a name? We call him L as in the and the guy says, I know what it means. Thank you. And shoots him. Dr. Who is the

Sidey: and the master,

Reegs: And then there's the master there as well. And you don't mess with the Zohan. Right there in the name, the hilarious side of the Arab Israeli conflict, I think.

Sidey: Yeah,

Reegs: the story has Adam Sander as an Israeli super soldier who fakes his own death and becomes a hairdresser in

Cris: Yeah, I like that. I, I'll never forget the, there's only one coat I remember in the whole movie and it's like, look at it. It's so big. It's not that big. No. De bush de bush is the biggest and it is just like, got a massive bush, not

Reegs: does have a massive bush. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: well he does one as well.

Dan: Kate.

Sidey: You, you excited for Happy Gilmore too.

Yeah, I've seen the trailer.

Reegs: but yes, of course

Dan: I saw it came on Netflix the other day. Voice's out. And [00:23:00] it was like coming out in

Reegs: Oh, we should watch the trailer afterwards.

I'll be up for that.

Dan: Have we got a, another one

Sidey: Almost Certainly.

Dan: Well, the Empire Strikes back. that's a, the,

Reegs: when you organize your record collection, what do you do about those? I

What? But well, okay. Yeah. And so The Strokes Yeah, because it

Sidey: They go under, s

Reegs: they go under s Yeah. But you would also probably insist on them being called The Strokes.

Sidey: I, I, however, yeah. That's their name.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: It's like Pink Floyd.

Sidey: But I don't organize, I do group by band, but I don't

group alphabetically.

Reegs: So no. So why not? If you've bothered to

Yeah, I suppose. But if you've bothered to get to that level of granularity, why not just go one more little subset?

I

Sidey: Yeah. it is boring and

it also, when you're looking at something,

you can't find it Then you've come

across something else you've not heard for ages and

Reegs: Okay, fair [00:24:00] enough.

Yeah.

Dan: What did best at the Oscars, the Godfather or The Godfather? Part two?

Sidey: Two.

Reegs: Well, was Godfather part two? Was it the Godfather or was it Godfather?

I

Dan: was the God part,

Reegs: did better at the Oscars. Probably the second one.

Dan: did do better. It won six. Six Oscars.

Reegs: I

Sidey: actually started watching

that this week.

Reegs: The Godfather part two,

Sidey: to the.

bit

just after his mother getting executed,

and I fell

asleep. So that's probably like two minutes.

in.

Dan: So, yeah, the, the saga of the Koni crime family is absolutely one of the best. Does

Sidey: It's all right. Yeah. It's decent Out there. I'd give it a strong recommend. Yeah.

Reegs: I noticed some years were very strong for the years at the Oscars. There was like the year it was the Green Mile, the cursive bag of Vance and some other, you know, it was all their words. That's probably because it is the most common word in English language,

Sidey: than that.

Re What

about some video games the Elder

[00:25:00] Scrolls, the Last of Us. People like that a lot. Obviously it's got a good series, which I think we probably got season two.

can't be

Reegs: must be pretty soon. Yeah.

Sidey: Chris will never see. The Sims we all

Cris: Yes, I adore the

Sidey: And a game. Well there's two. two variants to this that I've, I've spent a lot of hours playing is the legend of Zelda. The ones on switch real, real good. One that doesn't have vert in it, but I just wanna tell Pete is Mariot Odyssey, which I have a hundred Percented, but Pete has not.

Reegs: claims that you haven't though.

Sidey: he's wrong about that.

Reegs: The uniforms count or whatever it is, though, the costumes.

Sidey: likes the bit where you just have to then go back and walk around Devils collecting coins. To me, that's not part of a game.

Reegs: and you don't get any other achievement for

Sidey: You Do You get a different ending.

Reegs: Well, oh, different ending. You have, you have not. Well, you've even just said it there.

Sidey: But I, I don't think that that's relevant. 'cause there's no skill involved in it. It's just a grind. and Grind. Parts of games can fuck off. Yeah, I

Reegs: Yeah, I agree. But

Sidey: you are, You're on, the

Reegs: I'm on team. Pete. No, I'm not on the fence. I'm on team. Peter, you haven't done it.

Sidey: I have done. It. [00:26:00] So.

it's

Cris: Well,

if it's a different ending, then how did you do?

I don't know. I

Sidey: I don't watch the endings. I don't watch the intros.

I don't watch. cut

Cris: Is it, is it like one of

Sidey: I genuinely don't, every time

you press it and

a button comes up, saying Skip? I skip And I, just go into

Cris: is it one of them like, like those movies where, I can't remember which movie it was where you, you could watch it, but you could choose your ending.

Sidey: Yeah,

Yeah,

Reegs: yeah, yeah.

so

Cris: so you could be like, oh, does he die? Does he kill his family? Yeah. Or does the Army come, which one do you prefer? And you just kind of click to that. Is that,

Sidey: no, it's not like that.

Cris: I'm still not convinced

Sidey: though.

Anyway, Pete hasn't got all the moons that I have.

So that's the crux of

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Okay.

Dan: But that's what this pod's

Sidey: the, the moons.

Dan: Is it time to select out

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: yeah.

Okay.

Oh, actually

I had a whole another subset.

of bingeable, like box set

series.

Oh yeah. Because they all tend to

Dan: miss out on that.

Sidey: The wire, the

Sopranos,

The X-Files,

Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: I think there were some others. I can't remember what they were. The West Wing, the Twilight Zone. You like West Wing?

Dan: I do like the [00:27:00] the West Wing.

Sidey: and The boys.

although I gave up on the last series of the boys, I got bored, of It

Reegs: It is a bit more of the same, but I have enjoyed it

Sidey: all.

Yeah.

Dan: all. What was that cartoon one?

Sidey: The cartoon?

Dan: the cartoon. No, I was Think The Lost The Lost Cities of Gold.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.

Strong.

Reegs: I have got a couple of definite Article plus Verb Plus in Yes. If you want. So The Shining, the Conjuring, the Happening The Haunting. The Wailing, which was actually a really good Korean movie that's on

Sidey: The The Prestige in,

Reegs: Yeah. Highlander two, the Quickening. And of course you've Simpsons for every

Sidey: Oh, that's gonna be my north

Reegs: Par did it. Well, you've got the Red, red Deadening and you've got the Blooding and the Shin. Have I trodden on your

Sidey: I was just gonna, go verse Simpsons. I'm not now.

Dan: Okay. Right. Well, we'll give you time to, to flip, reverse it. And have you got your num ready?

Yeah.

M me.

Reegs: Well, mad Max Fury Road is [00:28:00] undoubtedly the king of this. It has characters named the People Eater, the toe cutter, the dag, the Keeper of Seeds, the bullet farmer, the Splendid Angharad, and the Doof Warrior which is what they used to call you at school, I think, wasn't it?

It

was,

Sidey: was,

Dan: was, and talking of school it, it, it slips brilliantly into my norm where five high school students bond during a Saturday detention the

Reegs: the Breakfast Club? Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: I was gonna know him. Jason Sta Statham,

Dan: or Statham? He the

Cris: the beekeeper. He's the beekeeper. He's a

Reegs: He is

Cris: the mechanic.

Yeah.

Sidey: The working

man is the most recent one,

isn't

Reegs: The working man. Yeah.

Cris: He's,

Reegs: he's been some other stuff. I

think,

Cris: I can't remember the, the one in the, where is the Heist? The Heist movie or whatever it's called

Sidey: when he, the crank.

Cris: No he's not. Yeah, he is not the crime. No. But he's been quite a

Reegs: I wonder who, which actor has been in the most, the movies, He's gotta be up there, isn't he?

Yeah. Good

Dan: He's gotta be one of the contenders. Anyway,

Cris: So I thought that's, I, I, I didn't really, this is just [00:29:00] what kind of came to my

Sidey: head, No, it's good.

Cris: I didn't really think too much of all the other ones. But there's three that are quite

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: strong. I thought so.

Sidey: Okay.

I

got a toss up change here. I was gonna go for the Simpsons that's out now. I did actually genuinely have this conversation with the Mrs this weekend where I was I. flicking through the channels and the science of the Lambs is on Prime. And I wanted to know if it was okay to watch that with Manon.

Yet

Cris: know

Sidey: Kelly said that

was a

Dan: the answer is no.

Sidey: So I will have to, I feel like the the has to

go in. and Specifically

the album, soul Mining.

so I know that's not film or tv, but it's going in

anyhow.

Dan: do what we like.

Sidey: Yeah, we do. do, we need one more. We

Reegs: just need another duh,

Dan: obviously.

no rules. So do what you do what You will. All

Sidey: out here

right before we get into the main thing, I I got a fact

for

you.

Yeah. I

went on a historic. Walking tour of St. Heller.

Cris: Oh yes.

Sidey: Oh, capital eight last week.

Yeah.

Reegs: Tell me some interesting

Sidey: It was actually.

it was about

murders [00:30:00] and deaths.

Cris: did, did you know go on two of them or

Sidey: Yeah, but it's the second one.

I've been on the first one was about buildings. This one was about people who've died.

Dan: I thought you did this in the uk.

here.

Sidey: No, St He is here.

where we live? Yeah, you can do it there. But it'd be about

London.

Reegs: London. It would be,

Sidey: this is about,

Cris: or York or something

Reegs: That's a hard sell. Doing Innocent Heller tour in London or vice

Sidey: Yeah. So French Lane,

Dan: to me.

Sidey: French

lane's. Really interesting.

There's

You know, prince of Wales Pub? Yeah. The shop next to it That's now barbershop that used to be Years and

Dan: Barbershop

Sidey: hundred 50 years ago. I can't remember the guy that design knows all the dates and half the time, I'm just amazed that people know all these dates so

precisely.

Reegs: He's probably making it up.

But

Sidey: there was two people that worked in there, husband and wife. This is not the stabber, I'm just gonna tell you about the murders. They worked in there and one day they didn't open and people were like, what's going on? So they sent there, came down and they found her dead shot shut to the heart, but actually in the head

Dan: shut through the head.

Was he to blame

Sidey: going on? No, they found him upstairs in bed, dead shot, but arranged all [00:31:00] neat. And then they found a suicide note

from her,

Blaming him

for his philandering and blah,

blah. blah. And then it emerged that she was actually illiterate, So she couldn't have written it couldn't have been him because he was

arranged

with his arms crossed, which is hard to do when she'd been shot in the head.

So

they, never actually, they, she got done for it. She was, yeah. You know, found to be guilty. but really

Reegs: the evidence is pretty shaky.

Sidey: Then there was one in the principal. I

Dan: Where was you on that night? Just to, just to clear that

Sidey: It

Reegs: It's

more your sort of timeframe.

Cris: would've still been

Sidey: the Prince of Wales. There was a young girl who worked there.

She was 14 years old and she was cleaning up in the morning and some drunk woman came in and said, I want some brandy. And this woman said, I'm not serving you. And carried on scrubbing the floor and the woman got a bit of paper, lit it in the fire and shucked her. And she had all alcohol soaked clothes that fucking went up.

And she was in the middle of French Lane all fucking on fire.

Awful. And then

round the corner in Market Street where Rose's Tea Shop. is now Next to that. Used to be a butcher. [00:32:00] And there was a big commotion. sitting there. got called down again. Went down there, fucking hundreds of people in the lane and a woman on a front bled out all over the place.

And they're like, what the fuck? And they're like, it was him and

if, if

she was the wife, the butcher was the husband. He had done it.

Reegs: Oh.

Dan: Oh,

Sidey: they were like, they were like, don't go in there. He is gone. Completely mental. And eventually they had to like knock the door down. They went in and he was in the back room and he'd slit his throat.

And what What happened was he'd gone out, done a few deliveries, gone for a pint. It was like a horrendously, horrendously jealous guy. Once he'd had a drink and he got her, he got back to the shop and she was serving a male customer and he stabbed her. 17 times in the

face

Reegs: oh my God.

Sidey: know. Absolutely

Dan: Did you get this at night?

This tour?

Sidey: Yeah. But the, the interesting fact has Nothing to do with the murders that happened in town. This was, we were down, we were down at Gloucester Street, which is where the old prison was, which is where the last hangings were in Jersey. But we were looking at the Opera House and the guy was saying, right, 1913, traveling true performers came over, performed at the Opera House.

The next day was the Battle of [00:33:00] Flowers along the front, and it was the first year that they had cameras to record it. So one of the guys who'd performed at the Opera House the day before went down to see it and he saw this technology and he was like, fucking hell. This

is the

Reegs: the future.

Sidey: is what I need to

get involved with this, this, you know, the stage

shot's I need to get

on the screen.

You know? So really astute

and

Found out

about it, asked a few questions, blah, blah, I need to get myself over to America. So eventually, not eventually, like straight away, moved, like, went straight out, made it big immediately. That guy, Charlie Chaplin.

Dan: Charles Chaplin in Jersey.

Reegs: from, that's

Dan: and he sorted the Battle of

Sidey: That's where It started with the bat of flowers.

Yeah.

Dan: I believe that

Sidey: it's a fact. So you should believe it.

Dan: There it is.

Reegs: What? Great story.

Yeah,

Cris: you go.

Sidey: And didn't involve any murders. That one,

No.

Reegs: No.

Yeah. I did notice your the places you went also had a lot of pubs along the way

Sidey: because back in the day, the amount of pubs in town,

because it was a busy port

amount of pubs and amount of knocking shops.

[00:34:00] absolutely. Off the chart.

Reegs: Now

it's just knocking shops, isn't

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.

Dan: Well, I remember J's story from Paris though. Yeah, there

Sidey: is. the other one that went on.

There's a,

there's a a grave in green Street Cemetery. Enormous monument it's a grave for

the only

centen that was ever killed on duty in Jersey, the only one ever.

And that was stabbed by a madam when he went to do something at

a North investigators that she just came out and just fucking

stabbed him.

Yeah.

Dan: Well, that leads us nicely

Sidey: That segues

Dan: What we, we've got to eat, which is nothing. We've got, had some toxic waste. There's madeleines, but it looks like they've been,

Reegs: it's pretty barren tonight, isn't

Dan: week. Yeah, it was. It is pretty

Sidey: We're trying to get stag ready,

aren't we?

Dan: that's what it is.

Gotta get into my suit. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: So there we go. So and that segues very nicely into this week's movie,

the Fable.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Did you know about this going in?

Reegs: Only in a very vague sense. I knew it was Steven Spielberg[00:35:00]

Dan: I'd seen this before actually. And it was one of those films that I'd forgotten I'd seen until I started watching it.

and then I remembered.

Sidey: Nice.

Cris: And did you watch the whole thing the second time?

Dan: Yeah. Well I bought it, so I thought Why I'm all in here.

Sidey: Oh. 'cause you asked on the go as well, didn't you?

Yeah.

Asking

about a movie you'd already seen. Yeah. Brilliant.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: Classic,

Dan: classic

classic stuff.

Sidey: Remind me Riggs, how does it

start?

Reegs: It's not, it's a fairly inauspicious opening. It starts in 1952 outside of cinema, basically.

Cris: yes. Outside of cinema.

Reegs: Mitzi and Bert Fable man are taking their young son,

Sidey: Simon.

That's right. Yeah. Sammy,

Reegs: To see a film. Cecil b Dem Mills the Greatest Show on Earth and he's never seen a movie before.

The kid is kind of staring him

Sidey: He's scared at first,

Reegs: Yeah, he's never seen a movie before. Not completely sure what it is. He's scared 'cause he's heard something about the people being giant on the screen. And we get like a real encapsulation of what his parents are like because Bert, [00:36:00] his father, the kind of scientist of the family, starts talking to him about, about the projector and the projectionist and about how your processing frames.

They run it at 24 frames per second, but your brain sees things at 15 frames per second. So it's called Persistence of vision, and that's what a movie is. And

Sidey: did that not make you watch the next few bits thinking about it's probably,

it's just stills.

Reegs: I always think about that, to be honest. I always think about that sort of thing.

And his mother then explains No, no, it's like a dream. And you know,

Sidey: the artistic one.

Reegs: she's the artistic

Cris: Yeah. and then he's a with his bad dreams.

Reegs: Yeah. So they go to watch the movie and there's a sequence in it with a train crash that just well, he's just, he has a very big reaction to it.

It's not clear at first whether he loves it or is scared

Sidey: He's just, Yeah. He's, just wide-eyed, just staring at it like, oh my God. has never seen

anything Like it,

Reegs: and he's still processing it. And on the way back to their house, it's the dark one because it's Christmas time and everyone else has got Christmas [00:37:00] lights and the Fable men's are Jewish and it's Hanukkah.

And so, you know, they go back and he becomes obsessed essentially by recreating this train crash that he's seen.

Sidey: Yeah. so his mom,

his mom encourages him almost behind the dad's back. And his dad's like, 'cause the first time he does it, he recreates the

crash. Yeah.

And 'cause he gets this gift every day, doesn't he?

During Hanukkah

Reegs: Yeah. One for eight days. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

And his dad's like, well, you can't fucking crush them. These are precisely made

models. you know, You need to

look after these and love them. And he's like, he just wants to reenact this huge train

smash. Yeah.

Reegs: And his mother comes up.

Sidey: Just do

it once.

But don't tell your dad.

Reegs: Exactly.

She comes up with the idea of letting him film it and doing it once and then he can watch it. And of course, this passion of seeing this thing happen turns into a new passion for him with the with the camera. But we, there is a little bit in between where we get introduced to Seth Rogan as Uncle Benny and her mother as well.

She's quite a funny character. She's a very typical Jewish mother. And she also, when you watch it, you [00:38:00] know, you can see that she understands what's happening in the relationship between Benny very early

Sidey: on. Was it supposed to be a surprise? 'cause I just thought immediately, like,

Reegs: I don't think so because I watched a few bits the second time. It's very obvious there's a scene around the dinner table early on where it, it's expressly edited to tell you that everybody But it's never really clear how much consummation there's been of their

Sidey: relationship.

No, I dunno if they were Definitely shagging that was one bit and I was like, are they just,

Dan: well, it does say a little bit later.

Look, it's never got as far as you think it might have.

Reegs: Oh, did they say that? Did

Dan: when he pulls over in the, in the car.

Sidey: Okay.

Okay.

Reegs: All right. Okay. Well, yeah. Good. Okay. So, he, that scene is important because it establishes Uncle Benny, who is Bert's friend and work colleague and also, subtly at first Mitzi's love interest essentially.

And he really is just obsessed by seeing this video. He go, or not video, this film. So he takes it, doesn't he, and he goes [00:39:00] and screens it in his closet

himself on his hand. at first. Yeah. to watch it and then it does kick off this like passion of him. He starts to film regularly, sometimes involving his sisters already very primitive.

Special effects and

Sidey: things yeah.

But I was, when I was watching it was like, this is like Michelle Gondry stuff, do you know what I mean? Like the really crude

but effective.

Reegs: effective. Yeah. Catch up is blood and people pulling teeth and toilet rolls for mummies and all sorts of stuff. Bert gets offered a new job in, in Phoenix.

Sidey: That's right.

Reegs: And if you weren't sure at all, it's not hard to realize what's happening because when she finds out, she has like basically a total breakdown about it. He's like, we're going off. I have no pull at this new company. I can't just hire Benny, our family

Sidey: It's gonna work for GE

Reegs: general Electric. Yeah. And she basically has a complete breakdown.

In fact, it cor, it corresponds with a literal tornado in their life when she finds this out. And so storms on the horizon. She finds out that Benny's not coming and they're [00:40:00] moving and you know, she drives off into the eye of the storm with the kids in the car. It's quite a reckless thing.

And we had her character. She's like,

Sidey: she's a pianist.

She's She's, she is, she's

an

Reegs: She's good enough to have played as a concert pianist, but didn't she shelved her dreams basically for domesticity, but in an act of rebellion. They don't do any washing up every night. They eat from paper plates and on a tablecloth of paper and they throw it in the bin because, you know, she's just trying to unshackle herself from that little bit of cliched

Dan: I love that.

I like to do that. Yeah, I would, I

Sidey: it's very waste draw, Dan. Well,

Dan: Well, no, I'd do it with the the recyclable plates, you know, the, the plant

Sidey: Oh, that's okay then. Yeah. I recycle my place every day. By washing. them.

Dan: Well

Cris: Exactly what's wrong with washing them?

Sidey: They

didn't have a washing machine. Dishwasher

Dan: somebody's gotta do that. Well, I would just like to Crue it all up

Sidey: what you have kids for

Dan: well that's not the the sole reason I had 'em, but they don't do it that well. They just chip 'em. [00:41:00] But anyway, yeah, I would like to have recyclable Plates.

Sidey: They

end up on a kind of camping trip.

Reegs: Yeah. They moved to Arizona and we cut like to seven years later, don't we? And he's already, he's exploring his art form a bit more 'cause he's doing like a little western

Sidey: He's enlisted his friends and schoolmates into doing this and we see how inventive he is. He

Cris: he's a scout or something.

Reegs: Yes, he is. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. He's

Reegs: He goes to see

Sidey: in the floor. And the kids, when they're

acting. They kick up

the things to make the dust. And his

old man's just so impressed about how inventive he is. And how did you do that? He, So I put Pinpricks in the

Yeah,

Reegs: Yeah, well that bit gets revealed. Yeah. He get, he sees the flashes, doesn't he?

In the projector. So we see

Sidey: him But he's still

just like, it's a hobby.

Reegs: Exactly, and he never quite gets it. He, he constantly equates Spielberg's like passion and artistry with his own life, which is about rules and all those things, but he never quite gets it. It's never more than a hobby to, him, even when he's getting really successful

Sidey: Yeah. He

just doesn't, he's just

very sort of pragmatic about this is what [00:42:00] work is and that's what your sort of fun, pastime,

hobby stuff is. Then they're not the same.

Reegs: Yeah. So yeah, they do go on this camping drip, which is loaded with meaning and subtext. Anyway, from the very beginning, Sammy's taking documentary like footage of the mall.

There's a kind of a sad moment where Bur is demonstrating to the group how to start a fire without anything, like, without any tools and stuff. And at the last minute, just as it's about to work, Mitzi distracts them all by like swinging on a branch sort of thing. And it's, you know,

Dan: with, with Uncle

Reegs: with uncle, with uncle Benny.

Yeah. And takes the, you know, it's, Some sad stuff. And. I think, what else do we see? Just stuff,

Sidey: well,

he films all this, and this is the pivotal one.

This

is the

pivotal moment because they,

Reegs: oh, she has that scene where

Sidey: first of all, there's this really weird scene I was like,

what is going on here? 'cause she just dances around in her night effectively and they

can't see her. So they turn Benny or someone, was it Benny?

Benny turns on the car, the lights

of the car. And You can just see through her. [00:43:00] Yeah.

Clothes. And the daughter

straight away is like, we got, what are you doing?

Like we can see like through your clothes

and she just

carries on. I, I

guess she's lost in the moment or whatever it is.

Reegs: Well, she's, it's just after

Sidey: it for Benny,

Reegs: she's just after she's found out that the, they're moving to California.

Sidey: And so she's just dancing away. And

Paul Dano just kind of,

I

Reegs: he's looking on in morbid fascination,

Sidey: sort of thing in a little moment of like, he knows what's going on. It's

Dan: on. It's all a bit cuckold, isn't it?

Sidey: Yeah. It is a cuck thing,

I think. And

Reegs: because his wife is kind of desperately unhappy. Really. And she suppressed everything to, to live a life, to try and keep her kids and

Sidey: And she Does ex she, does

explicitly say that later

on? She

she was happy to stay

in the,

she's willing to stay in the

marriage, you know?

Yeah. So, but it, all the while the kids have sat

there as well, you know, this is a bit weird.

Reegs: Yeah, it is very, it is a really strange scene. Yeah.

Sidey: And, and also

at this event is where

he

has been

filming. Yes. And

when he goes to edit

it back together, he, you see him with the two [00:44:00] reels and he, you

see his eyes when he is in his room and he's just like, clocks something.

And he plays it back and it's Mitzi

and Benny going off and they're holding hands, and he puts

his hands on her ally, on her bum or

on her hip,

and she kind of holds his hand. and they, And he's

like.

the fuck,

like, that is not, he doesn't say, that, but his reaction is like, that's not my mom and dad doing

Reegs: He's seeing the other

Sidey: and someone else. Who's ran our house every fucking

day. And he, he

just backs away from the table in shock of

like, he's,

the realization is fucking hell, this is not what I was

expecting to see,

You know?

Reegs: And we've had some like storytelling warning that something bad was gonna happen because Mitzi's mom dies and she's distraught about that, and it puts into like conflict.

Sammy's like wish to make this war film that he's making and edit together this film for his mother to kind of make her feel better. And she has a, a vision of her mother afterwards trying to phone her, I think, which turns out to be her estranged [00:45:00] uncle. I didn't get Boris. Boris, he's a former lion tamer who worked in the movies.

And like, he just comes in and just like blows the whole place apart. Starts talking to Sammy about how she's given up her dreams and stuff. That's where we find out. And then tells him about, you know, you'll never be able to, essentially, you'll always have a tension in your life between what you want to do artistically and what you can do for your family.

And that'll always be there. And he pinches him on the cheek to remind him, like, think of that.

Dan: Quite a powerful,

Part of the, the film, even though it's, it's quite short.

Reegs: it's really short. Yeah. But, and it's just after that where he did, makes the discovery through the editing.

Dan: Yeah. It is just those life moments where somebody who's been in your life for quite a short time can make such a huge impact on the way that you feel and the way that you look on life.

And that was him for, for Benny, wasn't

Reegs: And these are all very heavy Jewish stereotypes. Like I know a lot of people [00:46:00] like this, you know, I know you guys probably don't, but I've met and you know, I know a lot of people like that. So, it was relatable to me. Anyway. So he withdraws, doesn't he? After making this discovery sort of shuts down and

Sidey: he quits making films.

Yeah, He just he, he

goes to the shop 'cause they're moving again.

Yeah. There's another job offer this

time. It's in California. And so he's, he sells up

all

of

his camera equipment.

Reegs: It's just after he is made that movie Escape to Nowhere, which clearly a way that he wanted to connect with his dad. 'cause his dad was a former serviceman and he wanted to make this movie about the war to kind of connect with him in some way.

But

Sidey: whilst he's

selling his stuff, Benny is there in the

shop.

Cris: And buys him a camera.

Sidey: But first of all,

because he knows, obviously he knows at this point. And,

Dan: he's been rumbled.

Sidey: It doesn't want anything to do with him, does he? And he's he said, I, no, I'm not And he goes, you know. You've got

a gif for Benny's. like you know, you should continue, And then he

Brings out this box and he bought him his fucking latest, greatest, you know, well, [00:47:00] next, next he's leveled up his camera game for him,

Dan: a, again, a huge figure in his life where you think he's up until the point where he realized, wait a minute, you're having it away with my mom.

Sidey: It's a massive betrayal.

Dan: It, it was a massive betrayal for a kid.

But also up until that point, he was a really popular figure in his life and somebody that he looked up

Sidey: role model.

Reegs: and

he'd been supportive all the way through and Yeah.

Dan: and, and he

Sidey: all the times that the old man didn't get it or just thought it was a hobby thing. for Fun. He know he gets it. Like this is something real.

Dan: Yeah. But Benny had that talent of being able to put into words what other people were just thinking, and that was his, his gift is being able to translate those thoughts into everyday talk to, to kids, to his mom, to other things, which is why it made him. So approachable and, and interesting. Whereas dad was just this genius who was so [00:48:00] much further ahead than everyone else and worked so hard, but

Reegs: Well clearly struggle to emotionally relate to

Dan: couldn't couldn't share those emotions.

Reegs: And what one thing we haven't talked about as well is that Sammy confronts his mom after he screens the film, which of the camping trip, which is this beautifully edited thing that shows her in her best qualities, even during the dance, you know, tastefully edited and all this stuff.

And then he shows her afterwards.

Sidey: He shows her,

Reegs: oh, she slaps. Is that when she slaps him on the back

Sidey: No, they, Yeah,

they do. And then she, she, she smacks him on the back and then

she goes

to the room and he shows her the, he, he puts her in the

cupboard. He

Reegs: He does. Where he'd watched his

Sidey: and she's just isolated in there, watches it and, and understands that he knows.

Yeah. You know, And that's why he's upset. And they have this moment and,

Reegs: they're more like later, they're more like peers than they are mother And

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: very frankly and

Sidey: Well, they, they, they, He

Reegs: understands her, like she feels trapped

Sidey: if she has a kind of moment of break, almost breakdown on the way to [00:49:00] California.

and, And it's him that goes out and the old man says, oh, she needs a minute. You know, it just stays in the car while

she's

just by the side of the road having this huge

freak out.

Dan: Which, which is where she says, look, it's not gone as far as you might think it's gone,

Reegs: is That's

when she

says it. So it's quite late on.

Okay. Because then they do, yeah, they're in California.

Sidey: and then this is where he starts

getting bullied

and his,

school life turns into like a fairly wretched daily.

Antisemitic abuse. Yeah.

From all the fucking like, bro dudes

Reegs: bagel man, they call him. Which is pretty lll. And they demand, he apologizes for killing Jesus.

Which I think I've had that one

Sidey: before Have you really? Yeah. Fucking hell. And

then in a moment of sort of, like stupid bravery. He, he's,

Dan: who's made you, what the fuck

Reegs: Well, when I

Dan: somebody has made

Sidey: was it Pete?

Reegs: no, but when I, there was, I had quite, you know, round like 11, 12, there was quite a

Sidey: I, I remember I did a real horrible one too.

Dan: I wouldn't even know any about that. Anything about that. Around 11 or 12. Certainly not

Reegs: but it'd be [00:50:00] exactly, and anybody you had would've heard it from their

Cris: Exactly. That's the point. It's not like the kids knew or cared about that. It would've been like some idiot at home that, that in their life that said that.

And they're like, oh, this is,

Sidey: one,

Reegs: But

you, I get it. All the, to be honest, I get casual antisemitism all the time. People are very, even, you know, barely even aware of it. They'll make a little reference about money or some other thing. People, you might even do it, do you know what I mean? People have subconscious

Sidey: know it's deliberate when I do

Reegs: but Yeah.

Well, but people

Sidey: Well I

Cris: I was gonna say here is no, there's no like, whoa, we didn't mean it

Reegs: it's No, because it's unconscious like shit, I do it, I'm sure really offensive shit about some other beliefs out there. It's unintentional, but you're a product of your beliefs and en environment, right? So to some degree you, you know, there's open-minded as you can be.

You might reflect some of that shit.

Sidey: He has

clocked the,

one of the bro dudes kissing another girl who is not his girlfriend. Yes. So when they, when they're bullying him at one point [00:51:00] and she comes along to kind of defend

him because this guy's obviously a fucking dickhead in a moment of sort

of

Like ill advised kind of

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. He

drops the bomb to her that he had seen. This guy kissing the redheaded girl on the stairs.

and he gets a fucking,

Dan: well, it's kind of

Reegs: does. It's

Sidey: frustration

Dan: as well, isn't it?

Sidey: all he is got to, you know,

Dan: he just lashes

Sidey: He's not gonna beat this guy a physical fight.

but he can, at least,

he can cause him some harm. I

Dan: He's the coolest kid in school and he's like the, the track champion.

Sidey: yeah, he didn't seem that cool

Dan: he's, he, no, back, back then volleyball, that would've been it, volleyball, running all

Cris: looks like he's about

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: So

Reegs: Yeah. He was built. Didn't

Sidey: look the same age, but yeah, so she's she dumps that guy on the spot and so he fucking breaks his nose, He, he gets a right,

right hook,

I think And he just smashes him in the face and Yeah, and says, tomorrow you're gonna fucking tell her you were lying.

All this sort of shit. He obviously rocks

up at home with the two black

eyes. Fucking

face

Dan: himself. But then cut to scene where he's, he sat [00:52:00] across the, the table in the library talking

Sidey: It plays that all right from him, doesn't it then actually,

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: and he's saying, oh look, I really got that wrong. I'm really sorry. I mean, she's obviously.

Can see his face is all fucked up and asking him if it hurts, sort of giving it a bit of a poke. But her mate is really

Sidey: No, but she says to him, if you are lying, then how come you know that she, that that girl had red hair? And he is like,

Dan: yeah, he doesn't really have an answer

Sidey: But her mate, the her mate, the Jesus freak is super into him. She's like,

Reegs: really into him. I basically, because he's Jewish. Yeah. She's

Cris: also really into Jesus and hot guys

Reegs: She's like

Sidey: me

at this

bit.

Reegs: Yeah. She was like, I, I didn't know if she was supposed to be sort of virginal, but she definitely looked like she was up for playing just the tip.

Sidey: Yeah, I think there, there was

that definitely that, that's what

Reegs: well. Or soaking. You ever heard of, have we talked about this on the pod before?

Sidey: What is that? Mutual masturbation

Reegs: No, soaking is they do it in Mormon communities where you're allowed to put the, you you have to get a third party. I think you're not allowed to have sick

Sidey: Yeah. A Third [00:53:00] party.

Reegs: Yes, exactly. Wait. Right.

Sidey: Or your mom,

Reegs: so, because you're not allowed to have sex, but if somebody else puts your penis in their vagina and then shakes the bed so that you are not there, honestly, but yeah. Honestly, that you're allowed to do it. That's, that's, I heard about

Cris: And that's what is it

Reegs: It's soaking.

Soaking, yeah. Soaking. I

Cris: should give

Sidey: that That sounds like,

Dan: oh my god, that somebody is

Sidey: What if it's an earthquake? Not even a third party. Does That count.

Dan: Honestly,

Sidey: the earth Moved.

Cris: What if I get like a prosthetic hand? Like, or, or a like a, just like a,

Sidey: or sit on your other hand

for a while.

Cris: A wooden,

Dan: Or one of those kind of garbage collected things.

Sidey: So hang on. So You can put it

in.

Yeah.

if someone else

Reegs: I think somebody else has to put it in.

Sidey: Oh, I

can't be bothered with that. It sounds like such an effort. That's like a third

person you need to get involved.

Cris: yeah.

Dan: A menage,

Sidey: that's

Dan: see if there was, they

Cris: shake the bed.

Dan: I'm just trying to work this out if you, no.

Okay. Maybe off air.

Reegs: [00:54:00] There's probably like 40 or 50 people now going on Google going, soaking.

Sidey: I'm gonna do it afterwards. But yeah, so they had this carry on, where she.

Is

trying to get him to bring Jesus into his life. Which just basically culminate with them them fooling around and, and they start dating. Yeah.

It doesn't go

any further than kissy, kissy, I don't think. I

Reegs: I

dunno. I dunno. There was

Cris: don't show you anything else. But

Sidey: she was smoking hot though.

Reegs: She was? Yeah. I like to think they fucked.

Sidey: they go to prom, but not before the parents have announced actually they're going to split

1. And this Benny thing is just too much and she misses him too much.

And whilst

she

still loves that her, the father, the her husband, it's not, this is not what she wants.

And

Dan: Sad moment, isn't it? That he's kind of on the stairs. The, the

Sidey: the kids just don't, the kids don't get, it. especially the girls

just like really

upset and like, if you love him, don't leave. You know, it's

hard.

Dan: Sammy just goes back in to start editing his films.

Reegs: There's no rowing or shouting. And you [00:55:00] suspect not even when they weren't around that, you know, their relationship wasn't quite like that, but also Sammy is making this film for Ditch Day. It's kind of the climax of the movie.

Sidey: Ditch Day is where they

pretend to bunk off score, but it's like a, a sanctioned Day at

the beach. Yeah. And they all

horse around and he's been asked to film it and it turns out that his misses that he's been knocking about with the Jesus freak. Her father has all this,

Reegs: And Aeroflex, he had, he had aex. He talked about Aex, which was what Mark Jenkin. Yeah. Used to use, didn't he?

But then he

Sidey: this guy's leveled up again. He's got, he's,

Dan: it looked a pretty

Sidey: dollars back in

Dan: kit, doesn't it?

Reegs: Well, it's the thing that attracts him back into filmmaking. He wouldn't do it, were it not for the camera.

Dan: She was like, what? He let me borrow it. And he goes, yeah, it

Sidey: Oh, he, and he'll rent you all the editing equipment and all that

sort of stuff.

Dan: get you everything

He doesn't like the beach, but he goes down there and he puts together he's got loads of really clever ways in making films look good [00:56:00] like ice cream in the, in the face. But then he's filmed some seagulls just before that and edited. Looked like they're

Sidey: shit. He's good at

Reegs: Well he's already told us.

Right. The whole movie has told us that in Spielberg's opinion, editing is the most important thing. That's literally like at the center of what he's talking about. The thing that hat's, how he finds his mother in editing the movie. And that's where he finds stories and he's found stories that he can tell including the stuff that he's already set up, like the bird shit on the face, which is funny.

But he's also been able to see one of the bullies, like surreptitiously mind sweeping drinks and he's

Sidey: him. He's a loser.

Yeah. and

Reegs: a loser

in the film

Sidey: he goes

up to a

girl and she rejects him. and he Shows

that in film.

But he also weirdly shows the guy who's broken

his nose. As the real Adonis type hero of the, of the piece,

Dan: although

Reegs: it's easy to see because he's good looking and everybody swoons around him and

Sidey: But even he doesn't get that.

Reegs: Yeah. I know when he has the

Dan: Although,

Reegs: I know.

Dan: to be fair, within that kid, there seemed to be a spark of, of goodness [00:57:00] because he wasn't as weird as, as that loser kid he was, or as far out as him.

He went along with him and he, he kind of went on with it, but. He was,

Sidey: he's almost like,

I'm a I'm, I'm the,

I'm the jock, so I got to live up to this lifestyle. you

Dan: But he, he was a kind of, he wanted to be a nice guy. He was a dick, but he, he, you could see there was a bit more about him, a

Sidey: could bring it back about he could bring

Dan: rather than that other guy who had no conscience about his, he, he was doing it for popularity and, and everything where he didn't,

Sidey: he wasn't a total

lost cause.

Dan: Exactly.

And he paints him out to be this kind of hero slow motion in him down in different points when he's spiking the volleyball and running around the track and suddenly all the girls are all over him. But he realizes himself, he's not that much of a dick, is what I'm saying. He, he's not that much of a dick that he realizes himself.

I'm like, that, I know. I'm not like that. And [00:58:00] he has a bit of a weepy

moment

Reegs: worries about living up to the image that Sammy's made of him in a moment of self-reflection that even that it's a bit like, Hmm,

Dan: yeah, it, it's a real stretch for a kid like that, that you think as he had that. But Sammy says, look, I dunno why I did it.

Maybe I did it to make my film look better. Maybe I did it to, you know, lit your ass. I, I dunno why I did it. He, he hasn't really reflected on that himself, but it does culminate in the, the jock kind of, yeah, that's it. The jock

Sidey: what he says. That doesn't he, I was just pointing the camera. And then the stories reveal

Dan: and it, it leads on to Sammy really still wanting to get into the movie business and probably through his dad's connections, getting

Sidey: well first of all, he goes, he goes to prom and he is still processing this whole divorce thing.

And he says

to his girl, I love you. And she's like, what do you mean we've only been dating for like

A couple of weeks or a month or two,

whatever. She's like, this is fucking way too much. [00:59:00] And it's just an overreaction, I think to like his

Dan: Oh, the emotions of

Sidey: break falling apart And wanting to have something real for himself.

So he fucks that up a treat. She's like, but then once she watched, this, it seemed to me like when she saw the film, she was like, oh, he's amazing. He makes films and

she's sort, she seemed to walk around looking for him and, but he was

long gone. But That's when

the other sequence was upstairs, I think.

But

Yeah, it was weird.

Dan: Yeah. Well, no, I think you're right. It there, there did seem to be a part where she then kind of realized the power of film and, and understood. Wait a minute, this guy's a bit cooler than actually, I thought maybe there should be something in it, but her heart actually

Sidey: but he was, but he was, He didn't want, she was gonna Texas to college and he was gonna be on the other side of the country in California.

So there was no, you know,

Dan: he was gonna California, he's gonna go and make films. And maybe for, it wasn't really clear, but I got the feeling that it was probably through connections he got. An

Reegs: through his dad.

It was through his

Dan: yeah. With John

[01:00:00] Ford.

Sidey: know who it

Dan: He doesn't know who it is. He doesn't know who it is until

Sidey: looks around at the posters on the wall and he is like, oh,

Reegs: he's gone off to start a job as like a production assistant or something

Dan: Assistant to an assistant to an assistant. And then John Ford walks in

Sidey: it's the guy, it's the guy from

heroes remember him?

Reegs: Yeah. Greg

Sidey: Yeah.

He says actually the guy just over the, the other side of the corridor is like a pretty big deal. You wanna come and meet him?

Dan: And I dunno,

Sidey: name him. Yeah.

I,

Dan: I, I dunno if 'cause first they mentioned Ho Hogan's Heroes, and I dunno if Spielberg ever did have any early credits on Hogan

Reegs: Yeah, he, yeah, he did. Yeah.

Dan: and Hogan's Heroes also where

Alfred ruddy is it did The Godfather, I think he started as well.

He won Best Producer for The Godfather and, and made it happen. He also started on Hogan's Heroes. And John Ford is played by,

Sidey: well, first of all, he sees

the secretary.

He sees the secretary. and she says, well, he might, he's gone out for lunch. He might be a couple hours, and he, and when he looks at the posters, he realized who it is.[01:01:00]

Dan: He just, well,

Sidey: I'm happy

Reegs: it's like, it's some

of the movies we've seen The

Dan: Liberty Vance.

Reegs: and all that. Yeah. So we know what we're

Dan: And he comes in, he is smoking a big cigar. He's, he takes

Sidey: Bear in mind he died a couple years later, David, 'cause David

Reegs: it's David Lynch. It's David Lynch,

Sidey: yeah. Of emphysema related

Reegs: Yeah. It's weird, isn't it?

Tremendous

Sidey: amount of smoking

that he would do. Yeah. And he is just chugging away on cigars

here. The, the whole picture is

just lit up with

smoke.

Reegs: Yeah. It, you watch him for like 30 seconds, light his cigar. That's all he does. He walks in absolutely terrified, meeting his hero. And he, he just says to him, look at that

Sidey: He's got a patch.

Reegs: Yeah, he's got an eye patch on. Yeah.

Sidey: patch

Dan: on one eye. And

Sidey: he says, walk over to there. It's really explicit. And Josh's like, walk over to that picture and he,

Dan: what do you see?

Sidey: see? And he goes, two people. He goes, no.

Reegs: Where's

the horizon? Yeah,

Dan: the horizon? At the top.

Sidey: the bottom. He goes, Right. now Walk to

that picture. Yeah.

And he walks say, what do

you see?

And he still goes, well, it's too, no. Where's the horizon? It's at the top right horizon, in the [01:02:00] middle boring horizon at

the top. Good

horizon at the bottom. Good And he's like, Okay. And he Just fucks him off

Reegs: and that he says, fuck now, fuck off, doesn't he? And he, if he walks based on a true encounter that Steven Spielberg had and then he walks out onto the lot and he's framed in the middle and the last shot of the movie, he just remembers to tilt it so we get the horizon

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: And,

Dan: and that's it. And it's the end of what is a heartfelt, kind of look back on Steven Spielberg's upbringing and life and family and things. And I, I guess a lot of thought and, a, a lot of emotion went into to making this film. 'cause you think s Spielberg's not a young man anymore. And

Sidey: a young man for ages.

Cris: Yeah.

Dan: not been a young man for ages, you know, to take on this kind of project. Really [01:03:00] looking back on his life, looking back on his family, being very honest and

Sidey: looking back over his shoulder

Dan: in many ways. And I, I just thought it was I,

the Benny bit, I stopped it there 'cause it was just time of night when I started watching it.

I'd watched it late and, and the Benny bit, I was left reflecting on over an evening. And I think you e texted me Riggs and said, have you seen it? Are you enjoying it? And, and I goes, no. Well, I'm halfway through and I've enjoyed the start, but. The Benny bit was leaving a bit of taste in my mind and mouth to be honest, because it was just an ugly part of the film as in far insofar as you didn't like that, you know,

Reegs: Yeah. But divorce has been such a central theme throughout Spielberg's work. Like it's there in ET and, and loads of other stuff that he's done like divorce, so to, you know, and he's obviously experienced that and he's [01:04:00] processing it and you see now where it comes from in his work.

Dan: And it was just so harsh, you know? And you just thought Seth Rogan, you fuck,

Sidey: I don't think it was Seth Rogan's fault.

Reegs: No, it's not. The way he

Dan: but

Sidey: no. Just doing it.

I mean, Seth

Berg

Dan: Well, he's his best mate. Yeah. No, but that's

Sidey: no, that's, that like, that is really bad. But It's your mate and

it's like, in the middle. of, in mi The, it's,

it's in the midst of the fucking family.

It's not like

She's screwing off to some guy no it's fucking in their house all the

Dan: Role models as you

Sidey: say, but okay. Different times.

Dan: people that you kind of trusted and,

Sidey: I guess she can't help who she's in love with

Dan: and that, that family, that family kind of bond that you have.

And you know, uncle Benny's my best friend. That's why I know he

Sidey: of just wish like the old man had said right.

You know? 'cause if obviously knows

about it,

well just fucking end it. You

know, Someone, someone

a lot and any one of them in that situation needs to say, we just gotta do something different here. You just Like, fucked up.

You

Dan: But it, it never kind of went on like that. And it's, it's things [01:05:00] that you want to happen but never did. And it was filled with that kind of melancholy sentimental emotion, I guess. That made it nice. Viewing, good viewing, interesting viewing, but also a little bit. As I say, melancholy and, and bittersweet.

But I really enjoyed this. It was a really thoughtful piece of film and I enjoyed the actors, the, the young lad that played Spielberg. I thought he was really good. It was interesting seeing how he used film to gain popularity and gain confidence in himself, how he let it go, even though it was obviously such a gift from such an early age.

But all that turmoil between his, his family almost let him, you know, leave film and you think, what has achieved since, you know, being in film, oh, it's AMA June, you know, or Jewel, sorry.

Sidey: haven't, [01:06:00] that's when I haven't seen. Yeah.

Oh,

Dan: it's

Sidey: I keep meaning to nominated for Pod top five Jewels. it

Dan: it is, it is fantastic. And you just think that the talent this young man had and the way that he used.

Basically, you know, you've got more on a mobile phone now than what he ever did we ever had. And the films that he made, will we continue to watch for, you know, years and years to come? Yeah, I really enjoyed this. I thought he was a really it, I think Pete would've hated it because it would've been too Patterson for him, but it wasn't for me

Sidey: Rick's big fan.

Reegs: Yeah. I did really enjoy this. You know, we are lucky to, you know, be alive while Steven Spielberg is making movies and he's made some of the best movies of all time and now we see why he did it.

And in this particular one, he, you know, it is, so, there's something profound about him seeing whether it's the truth or not, but he sees his father, the scientist, his mother, the artist, the things that drove them apart are the things that created [01:07:00] something amazing in him. You know, it's his synthesis of the artist in the, the scientist that makes him such a great filmmaker.

And that's what you're saying. So yeah. Great, great Side?

Ah,

Sidey: sorry

man. I really enjoyed talking about it. Actually it was much better to talk about it in 10 minutes. I thought it was over long.

I thought it was self-indulgent.

Dan: Around two and a half

Sidey: two and a half hours,

long. It's exactly.

Two and a half

hours long. I thought Paul Dano looked like someone playing dress up. I just didn't

buy him as a

dad. I, to me it was like the story of people who moved house a couple times and then they, some people split up and, blah.

I, yeah. Left. me, It was a bit cold, to be honest. Didn't, didn't hit for me.

Cris: Yeah,

Reegs: Same. Didn't like it.

No,

Cris: it's too long. Way too long. Way too long. And to be fair in my defense, I, I've never seen the dad. The actor was his

Sidey: first Paul Dano.

Cris: I dunno, I've never seen a movie to like him.

Sidey: Oh No, he is in.

loads of great stuff. [01:08:00]

Reegs: Love of Mercy was really

Cris: for me the movies in that he's been in some great movies, but him as an actor and the way he, he kind of his appearance

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: I've never liked him.

The only two people that I enjoyed the watching this movie, and they're the only people that you are worth watching. The whole thing from my opinion, is Boris Schnitzel. Pitts. He's the best. And the Jesus girl.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: And I really wanted her to suck him off

Sidey: just to get

Cris: just to get some

Sidey: not that kind of movie.

I

that's, if only

Cris: there's

Reegs: can hope that he did. He did.

Cris: And, and, and again, for a two and a half hour film to

Dan: expect of it sucking off?

No,

Cris: but, but to not have any, any excitement, anything to, to just get you a little bit, it's just like, if I would've fallen asleep for two and a half hours and I would've woken up, I would get the same enjoyment, probably more than from what I've watched for two and a half hours, just by watching the whole thing.

And I, an hour and a half into it, I, I put the thing on to see how [01:09:00] much is left. He, I was like, surely this is about to end. And then I was like, fuck it. Hell, there's another hour of this.

Dan: Spielberg will be turning in his grave.

Sidey: Yeah, he will be. but,

Cris: but but again, that's art. This is,

some of these

Sidey: things are, it's all completely subjective.

Cris: I don't,

I can

Sidey: loved Spielberg and There was some cool bits in it. there was every now and then you know, with the

screen flickered and there was, That was something

Reegs: I dunno, I

dunno, there's probably loads to pick up on, I would think.

Sidey: Yeah. It's, it's too long. I wanted, I wanted to like it more, but couldn't, it wasn't enough for me to hang my

hat

1. Unfortunately.

Reegs: I

don't remember the score at all.

Sidey: No,

that's, I don't remember actually.

Cris: well there's the piano, piano is a great

Sidey: PP

Dan: bark

Cris: it kind of keeps repeating into the, all the breakups. Yeah. It kind of gets back into the mom playing the piano. Yeah. That much I remember from, from this, not that I know who, what, what it would've been.

I, I dunno, the whatever the

Reegs: melee we, we all along. I think

Cris: Yeah. Or [01:10:00] the, the, the,

Sidey: yes. it is a strong recommend for

me though.

Reegs: Definitely strong

Dan: I would be bark

Talking of semen

Sidey: A

day,

of a

day of smurf. a

Reegs: smurf. Att. For a day.

Sidey: day

in the life of smut. Okay,

Dan: Okay, well look, confession, full confession. I didn't actually get round to watching this, but I have seen the Smurfs,

Sidey: I did

Dan: am, I'm aware there is different genres of Smurfs. What

Sidey: this is classic

Dan: is this class?

Smurf. I fucking love classic Smurf.

Sidey: Right? So I did watch it and about halfway through I was thinking, am I watching the right one? Because it doesn't until about halfway through, become a day of, it's

just all of them. And Like

a known thing appears like a mole. Yeah. But

Reegs: well first of all, there's a baby Smurf, they're building a playground for baby smurf, which I have a lot of questions.

What about where did baby Smurf come from?

Sidey: Right. So we can go, we can pivot to Donny Darko. Yeah. They've

had this conversation

about Smurf, at

Reegs: asexual

Sidey: And there's only one,

there's only one chick [01:11:00] in this community. How does that work? So we, can, so that's like the obvious talking point.

Cris: Well, you know how it

Sidey: Well, you know how it works,

but in this

Dan: She's hot though, is I remember her. Yeah,

Sidey: she's,

wearing heels. She's blonde, she's

Reegs: And if you like that sort of thing, Dan, we're gonna have a very sexy and confusing thing for you in a bit because yeah, the gnome guy turns up and,

Sidey: yeah, 'cause they're, they're basically on site, aren't they?

They're building some sort of

thing for this baby smurf

like a,

climbing frame and a slide.

and

Reegs: a good like minute and a half devote to quantity surveying, isn't there with surveyors tools and stuff

Sidey: They've all, it's like the seven dwarfs. so they are explicitly named after their character traits. So

Dan: think I've seen this

Sidey: There's the, there's The like strong one. He's got tattoos 'cause he is nails. There's

the one who's a, he is got.

And they've all got

Reegs: handy, hefty, clumsy. Clumsy is the one who falls in the hole that kicks the plot off where Picnic arrives

Sidey: lands on this

Mole character gnome thing who is digging around, searching for the chamber of [01:12:00] gems.

But when he surfaces, he clocks smurf at and he

gets an instant hard on for her. Yeah.

And he's really like Rapy.

Reegs: rapey straight away. Like

Sidey: I wanna marry

Reegs: his vi because he's been underground for ages, just eating worms and shit. So they take him back to the Smurf Village and give him like a cake, loads of cakes.

And so then he gets straight rape. He turns up at Smurf ATTs house with like a bunch of dead weeds to give us a gift and tries to be quite aggressive. I think he even goes in for a kiss and stuff.

Sidey: Yeah, he

does. Tries to kiss her and he says, no, you are coming away with me and we're getting married. And, and

she's like, well, I dunno if I'm that Into you.

He's like, well, doesn't matter.

Dan: I've heard that before.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: So the,

the, the plot is that they need to squirrel her away. And deal with this fucking dickhead. So they do that. They

send her, yeah.

they send her on a mission to do something

else with

Reegs: Papa Smurf and Mother

Sidey: With the, with The only other

Dan: You're safe. You're safe with Papa Smurf.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. He's, he's wearing, so they're all wearing white apart from Papa smear. wears red.

Yeah.

Maga [01:13:00] colors. so he's, the

Dan: he's pretty Ninja or

Reegs: or Ku Klux scan.

Sidey: Yeah. So they're

away and.

but they need a proxy of Smurf at, So it's the hefty. Hefty. They, they dress him up.

It goes full

t

Reegs: Yeah.

He dresses up as smurf

to entice the, because picnic is, is sexually aroused by him.

Dan: I remember this part. Yeah, he's, he's,

Reegs: seared into your brain

Dan: he's pretty, yeah. He's

Reegs: as

Sidey: a seven old.

Dan: I wasn't, I was confused. I wasn't, he, yeah.

Sidey: And He

sort of looks the part, he, he is wearing probably a little bit too much makeup, but he's Clearly got fake

eyelashes on.

Yeah.

And he just needs to remember to do the voice correctly.

Reegs: and the heels are a problem for

Sidey: He doesn't like walking in the heels. But then Brent pil Nick arrives again and

He doesn't clock the, it is a,

tranny, sorry. a

a disguised

smurf as Smurf at,

And so he's still horny, really horny.

And he's [01:14:00] like, oh, have you got a cold? 'cause your voice sounds a little bit different. And it's, oh, this high pitch thing. And they dig a tunnel to, he takes her away. Like he's still

full on rape.

Yeah. He's still like, I'm

Reegs: abducting. He basically

Sidey: rape homicide thing

Dan: The fact you look a bit more

Sidey: threw a tunnel Into and wouldn't, you know it whilst he's like kidnapping effectively Smurfette, or what he thinks, is smurfette, he arrives in the fucking chamber of gems.

Reegs: Yeah.

And it's guarded by

Sidey: Pep Guardiola.

Reegs: Guardiola. Yeah.

Sidey: Her name's Guardiola

Reegs: a gnome

queen thing who's down there protecting all their gems.

Dan: It's all really easy to follow so far.

Sidey: It's like The night in the last crusade, cropped

up again. in

Reegs: It's all right. We're nearly at the end. We're mercifully close.

She's just happy to have another chick around. When the disguised Smurf

Sidey: it, yeah. She's not bothered about getting Dick. She just wants feminine company.

Dan: Okay.

Cris: so she's gay.

Sidey: No, I

don't, think so. I don't, think she's,

Reegs: think she just had wanted, you know, feminine company. Not, not just,

Cris: Oh yeah.

Sidey: Someone, there was no [01:15:00] implication that they were gonna start tripping or

anything like that.

It was just. No scissoring.

It was just the company. She seemed she

Reegs: she was bored. She had all the gems in the world. I think this was the fable we were supposed

Sidey: It didn't bring you Any happiness. blood in the smooth stuff people. So, but what happens is, what we haven't explained is that because this guy is

effectively

a mole man,

he is pretty

blind.

And so

once that, 'cause Pep Guardiola puts them in this

prison of of

Dan: Smurf getting away with it so, so long.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Once they're freed.

Reegs: Oh yeah, that makes sense. Dan, that's the sort of,

Sidey: very very astute. He he just grabs the f basically the first person he sees and disappears up the tunnel again.

But it's Pep Guardiola not

smurfette.

Right.

And she turns out to be bang up for it. And they

kiss. Yeah.

And

my daughter was going, Oh,

kissing was

Dan: I was gonna ask, did you watch this with You

Sidey: it, my daughter. Yeah. She

Dan: kids? Do you watch it? No. I, I didn't watch it at all. [01:16:00] Chris, you didn't watch it? No. So it's 50 50 here, but at least she brought somebody else to the party. What did Marlon think of it?

Sidey: She quite enjoyed it. She doesn't like to see anyone animated or real kiss on screen.

She hates that. Really? No. she really hates it. Yeah. It's it's disgusting. Yeah.

it's absolutely appalling to her.

So even I could,

because

she was squeezed in between me and Kay on the couch and she was like, And I looked at her 'cause I get fucking annoyed with it.

I'm like, we

Dan: whenever you see people kiss on tv. Do you always kiss your better half?

I always do. I always, I always,

Reegs: oh, I always kiss ya Yao. Yeah, but

Dan: yeah, yeah. Right. Okay. Well

that's

Cris: not my better half.

Sidey: no I don't

Cris: better.

Half.

Reegs: just a half.

Dan: No, I, I always better, I always like to copy what's going on on the screen.

yeah.

Sidey: What does What you watching a murder?

Cris: Yeah,

Dan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It

Reegs: Or worse,

Sidey: Do we need to take up your patio

Reegs: massage.

Dan: you know,

Sidey: I think the plot ended there.

Dan: see,

Reegs: They go off and get married actually. And there is a little bit where the two names go off and [01:17:00] get married, don't they? And hand job or whatever his name was, handy

Sidey: Yeah. and

Reegs: Blowy, they

also

Dan: name wasn't hand job and blowy.

Reegs: was Handy and Blowy or something like that. I don't know. I, one thing I do think that is interesting about the Smurfs, it is impossible not to think about them reproducing and their strange, like

Sidey: especially this one. 'cause they are doing something for a kid, Smurf

Reegs: and there's a baby. Why

I'm not saying it's impossible, but you think

Cris: No, no, but why is it impossible to, to not think about it? Would you not watch a cartoon or any other movie for that point and be like,

Sidey: no. I always think about him shagging.

How

Cris: is that, how, how are they gonna

Sidey: this?

Reegs: about

Cris: what about the ones

Reegs: I'm thinking about you shagging him now.

Cris: Well, I'm thinking about that every day. That's not,

Sidey: that's why I'm trying to wrap This up.

Cris: That's not the point.

Dan: I I, I was

Cris: the, the, the giant crab insects in the fog?

Sidey: They Were

shagging. They were all

Dan: was definitely shagging

Cris: figure out how that one worked?

Dan: I was thinking,

Reegs: a little bit, I I, I was mostly, yeah,

Sidey: no, but this

is a village of, you know, hundreds of dudes and one chick and she's hot.

And so what is the

[01:18:00] how?

Anthrop anthropologically cartoon.

Cris: in

Sidey: No, it's not just

a

Reegs: No.

Chris, there are other things to think about too, because I, their numbers are very precisely controlled. 101. There has to be, but they continually introduce new Smurfs.

Sidey: Oh, it's like midsummer.

Reegs: Yeah. Rich will sacrifice. Yeah, exactly. So

Dan: strange times in the

Cris: maybe this is like some form of the same, like the ants have the queen there's only,

Reegs: see now you're thinking.

Sidey: Yeah. she's just, That's

Cris: way

Sidey: she's, just squirting

out her little smurf eggs.

Cris: Yeah.

And

there's whoever's the, I dunno, whatever the alpha smurf,

Reegs: he

Dan: well, you think that

Sidey: that's Papa

Dan: well this is it.

It's not smurf. Don't,

Sidey: No, that's what it is, isn't it? That's what it is. It's a Papa Smurf

and her

are the item, and they're all the drones are, all the other Smurfs are just

the drones.

Reegs: I think the big shocking secret is that Papa Smurf is an inherited title like in the Princess Bride, and shocking realization at the center

Dan: You know, some of the [01:19:00] best ideas and you think of scientific papers and things and, and science. When sciences cross contaminate basic ideas, having sex, that's when you get your best ideas.

Reegs: is, yeah. Yeah. One thing they do do that is real, that for they will have dialogue that is a bit like, oh, I smurf the smurf out of that. Or just for a minute, don't they? Like, it's not all the time,

Sidey: goral placeholder word.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dan: I wonder how

Reegs: it up real

Dan: there's some really adult themes in some of these. I remember puff, the magic dragon was Peach's dragon. Remember Peach's dragon?

Sidey: Was that?

from that

Dan: puff? The magic

Sidey: What was it? I thought

that was just, a

Reegs: was from Puff, the Magic Dragon,

Sidey: wasn't it? I

thought it was just a song.

Dan: Wasn't that Pete's dragon though?

Sidey: I thought

it was a song, but anyway, it's not really

relevant.

Dan: I think it was the the, but it was adult themes within like El Smurf, the Smurf Outta You. I mean that's quite

smurf, you know, that's pretty blue.

Sidey: I [01:20:00] wasn't a massive because this came out, this episode, 81

or

Reegs: 83 I think.

Sidey: 83 I think.

Yeah. So it was probably

just a little bit too young when this reared its

head.

But

Dan: But yeah, I was barely in the pubs by then.

Sidey: I didn't

get

much out of watching it this

time round either. I have to say

Reegs: just the how curiously rapy it all was.

Sidey: was. Yeah. It

was strange themes.

Dan: to love this. You knocking

Cris: Did you say this is a Belgian production?

Sidey: Yes, yes. Originally. Yeah.

Reegs: Okay.

Which implies that the Smurfs live in Belgium, I

Sidey: and now

there is some sort of

horrible

Reegs: You think so? It could be, yeah, it could be.

Yeah.

Sidey: some horrible

Cris: around the marginal line

Sidey: Animated like CG version of it, which looks grim that I did whilst watching it when my daughter go on PornHub. And there are,

Dan: whilst you were watching it with your daughter,

Sidey: was like adjacent to me over the other side. room

There

are obviously there's

pornographic. Oh,

yes.

Cris: there's loads. I've seen a few of them. Yes. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. Are, are they all blue

one? they all blue? Of

Sidey: course,

Yeah.

Smokes

Cris: Snow White is the most popular reproduction on any porn

Sidey: That's,

that's a hot topic right now. Snow,

White,

Cris: is it?

Reegs: [01:21:00] Rachel Ziegler or

Sidey: The culture wars.

Cris: Ah, right. No, I don't care about that. It's, it's just yeah.

Dan: I'm drawing a line under this.

Strong recommend.

Yeah.

Reegs: I

think they blew

Sidey: no it's not. No, it's not.

Cris: I remember enjoying this when I was a young boy.

Dan: I remember enjoying it when I was young, young lad

Cris: but I probably didn't realize the, what, what you were saying now, watching it as an adult. Like how maybe

Dan: through

adult's eyes it may be different.

Reegs: it would be better if people had one word descriptions for themselves in real life though, wouldn't

Sidey: Yes.

Dan: would you be? SI

Reegs: I don't know. Nosy, oldie, Dey. Chris.

Cris: Jesus Christ. Fuck

Dan: Chris,

Sidey: It was getting more

sensitive earlier about, oh, you,

You cheeked

me once. about My religion now.

he's doing all that.

Reegs: I wasn't. I

Sidey: was,

some sort of enormous debate about when episode 500 or whether we even care about

round numbers.

of such Arbitrary

designation. I'm gonna

nominate next. [01:22:00] So probably won't be anything to do with 500. And also Dan's not with us now for two weeks 'cause he is in the land of the, rising sun. also thinking about it whilst I'm talking.

We'll have to get some sort of episodes from when away. Because we're all

aware at

Reegs: are all away, aren't we?

Dan: all go.

1. That's

Sidey: a lot of admin to do. Behind the scenes But, but for now, all that remains is to say society signing

Reegs: Riggs has left the building.

Cris: A lot of it Did they?

Dan: Dan's gone.