Sisu & Diabolik

Sisu

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, the podcast that is to film reviews as a kazoo is to a symphony orchestra. Before we kick things off, I noticed from our bulging sack that we've been inundated by correspondence from listeners. Very nearly one letter from a fan, it's Mr. Jeff Kitchen, and he writes, Dear Dads here's a handy hint, when you put the cat out, always use a high quality fire extinguisher.

Also, where were you last week? And I think Whilst we can all agree that's great advice, and thanks for that, Geoff you should also mind your own fucking business, really.

Sidey: Is that from Beyond the Grave?

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: Different Geoff. Different

Sidey: one okay Different

Reegs: Geoff. Yeah.

Dan: Spook me out.

Reegs: This week's show is all about violence, so hold on to your silencers as we start things off with a look at the top five assassins.

And then our main feature this week is the

2022 Finnish action movie about gold, Nazis, and the enduring spirit of determination and self reliance in Sisu. And we finish things off with a look at child friendly murdering sim Diabolic, the kids TV show that's more twisted than a villain's moustache. Warning, as you've no doubt noticed by now, this podcast contains words that are 100 percent organic and free range, so listener discretion is advised.

And similarly, we will be spilling cinematic beans, and trust me when I say these are not your average legumes. All that's left to do is introduce the dad, starting with the ancient one first, Dan. He's seen more history than a museum, and is the only dad who considers the renaissance the good old days.

Dan: Ah, good old days.

Reegs: There's Chris, and if good looks were a sport, Chris would be an Olympian, and whose love for movies is as deep as his naps are long. And finally, there's Saidi, and you've been off cycling in Italy. I gather you're presumably a big ice cream fan, as you told us over text while you're, while you were over there, you'd spent the evening licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan.

Sidey: That's true yeah, 100 percent accurate.

yeah

Reegs: And then there's me being, hello. So how was it? You were there, you were, you were in

Dan: You were in

Sidey: I was in Italy Yeah, yeah,

I saw

The sights of four different towns for a very very short amount of time in

each one So I did Verona Lake Istio, we did Lake Garda as well one day, and Lake Como which was spectacular, and then Milan, and then home.

Dan: And you're on your bike so that's why you saw him so quick because you were just

Sidey: kilometers in four days yeah it was good It's good Yeah and shout out to Pete because he's away today He's our next Travel. adventurer He's He's going up Mount Kilimanjaro.

Dan: which is the

Sidey: He may

Dan: mountain in all of Africa. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's quite Pete's there. Yeah. And Pete is there. He's going from hot to cold and then back down to hot. And of course good luck Pete. We've got Carl there as well,

Sidey: Carl's there yeah Pete and Carl have just trained

so rigorously.

Dan: well that's, that's what it is. I think they'll, that will pay off nicely for them.

Sidey: and then we just couldn't get things together enough, we weren't organized enough to get stuff out last week, so apologies for that, but, you know, we were entitled to take a bit of time off every now and

then anyway fuck off

Reegs: every now and

Cris: take a bit of time off every

Sidey: Yeah we did some stuff a while ago, but we're really interested

in talking about top five

assassins.

this week

Reegs: think so.

Sidey: Yeah, anything else we need

to

talk about, stuff that

you

we must

have watched,

mainly football, I

Dan: It has been a lot of football watching,

Cris: I've watched Kin,

Dan: All right,

Cris: is a, I think it's a BBC series about some Irish gangsters from Dublin.

Sidey: right?

Cris: It's quite good, I would say. It's a one season, I think it's eight or nine episodes, which is perfect for me.

I don't know and I don't care if there's a second season. The ending in the last episode I could kind of see it already before it actually happened It's like 10 minutes into the last episode I could see the ending but that doesn't mean anything and they've got a great Irish accent because they're all Irish

Sidey: richagear in it

Cris: Pardon?

Sidey: richagear

Cris: is definitely not There's some actors that you we've all seen before and all that But I wouldn't know their names and I've watched because I went to Romania last week and on the plane I've had downloaded on my

Kindle all the Batman series, the, the Batman. No, no, no. Jesus. No, the Batman,

Reegs: po.

The penguin thing. What thing? The

Cris: fucking Christian Bale

Sidey: the dark night Ones.

Cris: Yes. The dark night. That was the one. the,

Sidey: the the Nolan trilogy The,

Nolan.

Cris: That,

one. Yes. So I watched all three of them and in, in order, which I've never done. So I highly recommend that if anyone has time and wants to do it. That was good.

Sidey: They are good Yeah.

I watched Acolyte I'm up to Date

with Star Wars Acolyte I mean this is good, but I feel like The villain just needs to keep his helmet on.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Because it's fairly nondescript when he's not got it on. And I've been watching the boys.

Reegs: is a nice helmet.

Sidey: It's, yeah. Watching the boys, I don't know if I've run out of steam with that a little bit.

Oh

Reegs: no, I'm still, I'm

Dan: steam with that a little bit.

No, I'm still, I'm still Yeah,

Sidey: I

mean it's never been subtle but

Dan: finish it off. And then, Oh, I saw, there's

Sidey: yeah I will, I will finish it off. And then

probably Oh, I saw it was a Beach Boys documentary on Disney Plus which I started watching. But I kind of already know what that story anyway Just like listening to

Dan: going again. Yeah.

Sidey: Anyone else? No?

Let's get into it

So it's top five Assassins. Did we have some sort of other

people on a vendetta type scenario?

Anyway

Dan: know

if

it counts or not then. It's Jules Winifield.

Sidey: Yeah of course, definitely. Yeah Hide guns

Dan: doesn't he?

Reegs: Pulp Fiction. Yeah, definitely. And Vincent Vega

Sidey: I was gonna say, are they not a

pair Vincent Vega

Dan: well, I, I'm just putting him in because it's his only Oscar nomination as well. For yeah. Received his first and only competitive Oscar.

Oscar nomination

for this part. And, or at least at time of writing, I don't know if he's been given something since the last hour or so. And well, I mean, it's a, it's a fantastic part. He, he, kind of pronounces the Bible, doesn't he, each time, to scare the shit out of people. And that's why he does it.

He says, why'd you do it? He says, I just thought it was some really dark shit to tell people before I shot them. You know, they're going to strike down with great vengeance and furious anger. Those that oppose. And

Reegs: as much talking about cheeseburgers and foot massages and stuff like that as well.

Dan: Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: and, say what

Dan: and also having this kind of sense of when to stop and being that there's other things to do and that his luck might have run out and looking for those signs where his partner Vincent was Well, that's a bunch of bullshit. We do what we like, you know, we make our own. So you had these two different assassin characters, but Jules was the easiest spot because his was the one that said bad motherfucker.

Reegs: true.

Sidey: Yeah, it doesn't feast on swine

neither

Dan: doesn't do

Sidey: No How about leon

Dan: yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Really good movie.

Dan: It's a, it's a cracker. Yeah.

Sidey: of a weird,

Yeah,

Dan: Yeah, well, she's just a young girl on the floor below that obviously doesn't have great home life. And when, the assassin. Yeah, she's, he

doesn't know any better himself. You know, he's he's a man that was probably brought up on the wrong side that attracts himself. And all that he's got is these tools of survival and cunning.

And he helps teach,

Sidey: and he's got a, pot plant that he's particularly fond of. Gary Oldman does a great I think kind of Nicholas Nick Cage impression

Dan: How

many brilliant

Sidey: Yeah yeah

Dan: he's just

Sidey: But he's very calm He's like So

the way

I sort of see like really

good assassins are the ones that are detached and are you know, lone loners

and

Dan: They don't

Sidey: do that and they're not affected by They don't have the the guilt of of killing people.

He's just able to do it. It's just a job. So Leon, the professional.

Reegs: Nice.

Dan: like it

Reegs: Well,

I've got John Woo's masterpiece, The Killer, and I think it rivals Hard Boiled, really, as being, you know, that caliber of movie. That's got Chow Yun Fat, who plays Ah Jong, the triad assassin who wants to retire, but he ends up accidentally damaging the eyes of singer Jenny during a shootout and sets out to perform one last hit to pay for her.

Dan: Yeah

Reegs: And the church shootout scene in that, if you've seen it, rivals anything of the, like, hospital scene that you might have seen in Hard Boiled, anything like that. It's a true brilliant Hong Kong action movie with a great love story in it as well. So, that is the killer.

Cris: I've got it's a series that I've talked about it before.

It's one of the series that I really, really liked. And it's one of the series where I again, I started watching the second season, but I never really cared about it the second time, but it's a Colombian movie and it's about one of Pablo Escobar's assassins. His name is John Jairo Velasquez Vasquez, and he is He himself became an internet celebrity in Medellin in Colombia and he's, it's, it's based on a real guy who survives when just before Pablo Escobar gets hunted down, he goes to prison and it's his, this guy's story of how he survived in prison.

A lot of it is based on his storytelling and apparently his storytelling is not necessarily according to the truth 100%. They've romanticized the movie and it's been viewed with mixed reception, especially in Colombia, but he's been really, really good in giving them the details. And I found the movie was really, really good with obviously being in Spanish and all that.

And The guy is a real guy who he was very proud of the fact that he had like a 12 million pesetas bounty on his head when he was actually Pablo Escobar's assassin. So he was one of the sicarios and he took credit for the Avianca flight when they put a bomb in the plane and they killed one of the prime ministers or one of the justice minister or something like that.

And he apparently killed the mayor of Medellin.

So he was an actual guy and they made a movie out of him and like a series and it's, it's, it was really good actually.

Sidey: climbing

Dan: Wow, tough one to follow, but I'm gonna go with if I was to throw three single one dice, we would all say Scaramanga because he's the man with the golden gun.

He's also the man with the third nipple.

And Christopher Lee played played this. He played a fair share of villains, of course, but he was Scaramanga the assassin in the 74 film. And yeah, he, he was quite the, The villain, you know, Roger Moore's up against him.

He's only the second time he's he's been out as Bond.

Sidey: What was the what was the gun made up

Dan: It was well, yeah he had a few gadgets in this because Scaramanga had a pool with a shark in it and he was able to put in the underwater breathing kind of apparatus as well Wasn't he? He even had a fake gun Boob didn't he had a fake nipple himself that he put on to try to become scaramanga and trick people,

Reegs: He had a spare nipple

Dan: But yeah the gun was made of what is it a plastic or

Sidey: No It was a fountain pen

Dan: fountain

Sidey: cigarette lighter.

Dan: It was it was kind of macgyvered together.

Cris: Watch

No.

Or hair?

Sidey: or something, wasn't it, for the trigger? Something like

that

Reegs: like

Dan: It was, it was yeah, it was pretty well put

Sidey: I

really really like that role, Christopher Lee.

Dan: that raw

Sidey: they got on well with him? And not like Richard . Gere in Brisbane They actually,

they actually did have a good they enjoyed it yeah

Dan: together. So, I don't think it was the best Bond film. This one, the man with

Sidey: best But it's

Dan: But it is,

Sidey: a

Dan: it's, a good

Sidey: Yeah it's a good one.

On the flip side of that coin well I, and I've got a couple of these, I would say like government spooks.

Dan: Alright, yeah.

Sidey: So James

Bond

Is

not

necessarily an assassin, but he does have a license to kill.

and he uses that he kills He's got a body count It's quite Exceptional Yeah

Reegs: uses that. He's got a body count that's quite

Sidey: Hired gun and then from the across the pond, you've got Jason Bourne. Who's also a kind of,

Cris: The American

Sidey: black ops version, of

Dan: Bourne yesterday.

Sidey: Go and kill these people for us.

Reegs: Well, that's what he was sent to do that's

Sidey: That's when he lost it

because there was a kid in the room

and he he paused and was shot.

See a Couple of government spooks

Dan: Nice. Yeah.

Reegs: good ones well collateral do you remember that one the michael man, has tom cruise playing against type as

Sidey: well This is like Willis again isn't

Reegs: silver fox vincent

Sidey: villain this time

Reegs: It's a sort of neo noir thriller where Jamie Foxx is taking him basically on a killing spree and features great performances from the both of them.

That one was really good. What about wanted? Remember that one? James McAvoy.

Sidey: Oh, yeah. they're like shooting bullets around the

Reegs: Yeah, he was the meek and helpless Wesley. Gibson, who found out he's the son of the world's greatest assassin, that, that suddenly gives him the ability to curve bullets and make impossible shots from

two miles

Dan: pina

Sidey: And

Reegs: Sort of infantile male power fantasy that I still really liked, but yeah.

That one was a bit assassin

y

Oh, and they were also protecting the loom of time or something. It was like a loom that,

Sidey: yeah that's right

Reegs: string that could tell the future or something.

Sidey: Did that Is that the one that had Idris Elba or someone in a tower shooting across like entire cities with an enormously long

Reegs: tower shooting across that entire city?

Sidey: that

Dan: that's the one with Matthew McConaughey, isn't it?

Doesn't he do,

yeah, that

film with Idris Elba. I think I've seen the one that

Reegs: I've seen the one that you're No,

Dan: I think this is another one, again.

Cris: Well, there is someone that everyone wants to kill, and the movie is called Smoking Aces, and in this movie, everyone's an assassin, because they're all trying to kill Jeremy Piven, whose name is Buddy Israel in this

Reegs: And in real life, most people want to kill Jeremy Piven now,

Cris: I heard he's an asshole, I don't know, I don't know him personally, I, you know, I can't really say anything. I did watch him

Reegs: It's alright, call him a dick. This is your podcast,

Cris: I did watch him in that Entourage movie and

Sidey: he's apparently like.

Cris: Yeah,

he was a dick in that

Reegs: one. He was an

Sidey: He's he's He's not far from home with

Cris: Apparently. Oh, is that? I thought he's like, this is actually quite good. But is that how he is?

Reegs: Allegedly, I don't know the guy, but

Cris: in this movie, everyone wants to kill him, even Alicia Keys.

Reegs: even

Cris: So she is an assassin called Georgia something. Ryan Reynolds wants to kill him. Yeah, she's not sobbing. Although it's quite funny in this movie. She's a lesbian. And then she falls in love with One of the actors got common, I think.

Reegs: she just needed to find a dude that was hot enough and she would be not a lesbian

Cris: on on

Reegs: That's definitely how homosexuality

works.

Cris: I also have before anyone says it Sicario Benicio

del

Toro's character who can't remember his name, but everybody calls him a day in

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: and he is

Reegs: Cyril. I think it was

his Was it? Cyril?

Sidey: No,

Cris: not. It doesn't sound Colombian at all, but I we've reviewed that the first one. I've seen the second one. I don't know if they're going to make a third one or not, but I really enjoyed the movie and his performance and he was good.

Dan: Well, we got t1000 From terminator 2 somewhat of a futuristic assassin sent back in time

Reegs: Yeah to kill someone

Cris: Yeah,

Dan: So,

Obviously Young John Connor is, is still trying to get away there. Sarah Connor is, is his mum trying to fight against the T 1000s.

Sidey: John Connor is effectively saved. Yeah. In the movie

by the kid who won't tell

a police officer where he is. Yeah.

Well done that kid. in the arcade Yeah,

Reegs: Yeah, the kid who naturally distrusts the police. Saves John Connor. Saves humanity. Yeah. Really. Saves

Dan: in many ways, well done. Robert Patrick plays that kind of that character. And I remember first seeing him in it thinking, Schwarzenegger. Nobody's scared of him. Like, he's huge. How are you gonna But he was so good as T 1000 that you just

Sidey: that Schwarzenegger's

Dan: Schwarzenegger's not got a chance!

You know, it was, it was fantastic. So, and the other one I wanted to mention quickly was August Walker which is our Mission Impossible Fallout Henry Cavill man. He hasn't you know, had many, you know, he's incredible.

Reegs: An assassin?

Doesn't he work for the CIA or something in

Dan: I

Sidey: there He's a

Reegs: the dirty one,

Dan: dirty one. Yeah, and he's we haven't had many noms within this kind of category for us, Henry.

So, I wanted to, to wedge him in there. I know we've talked about

Sidey: I know we've talked about that

Dan: or having or had, I'm not sure. He's he's an incredible man. He's one of the first to do it. So, that'll, that'll be, that'll be fun. But yeah, it's probably his. I don't know if

Reegs: know if there's any better.

Sidey: it's it's one of his roles.

Reegs: his roles. There

Dan: you go.

Sidey: How about

I don't know if he's qualified actually.

Tom Stall slash Joey Cusack, because he's got a

It's

Viggo Mortensen from History of

Reegs: Oh,

history of violence. Yeah.

Sidey: So he's all well to do and whatever, until

this

Reegs: he's, it's like, he's running a diner basically in the middle of nowhere and he kills this guy in what looks at first like an act of self defense and then as more information is revealed. You seen this movie? No. It's great. It's, the guy comes. A

Sidey: history of

Reegs: of violence. Yeah. Yes.

Sidey: It's the clue is right there all along in the

Dan: not

Cris: you. I would never have thought that. Thank you, Side.

Reegs: It's good

Sidey: But It's not the one where he naked kills that guy in the sauna is it

Reegs: No, that's Eastern Promises, but I feel they are very

Sidey: like a companion piece Yeah, definitely worth checking out.

It's a Cronenberg one

Reegs: You'd like both of these

Sidey: history of Violence. It's Cronenberg, isn't it? Yeah. So, you know the violence is

going to be strong.

Reegs: strong. Right. Real strong violence. And Eastern Promises, as well, is also really good. And Viggo has a fight for about four minutes, completely bollock

Cris: naked. Super

Sidey: super horny and violent

Cris: and violent.

Sidey: Over to you

Reegs: What if autism was a superpower, asks Ben Affleck in The Accountant where you see throughout the movie glimpses of his father weaponizing his neurodivergence to be the world's most efficient person.

Sidey: Yeah I quite like this film I

Reegs: liked it as well. Yeah, but stupid. Looper. Did you remember that

Cris: Yes, I

Sidey: again Yeah.

Reegs: Bruce Willis again and sending back in time. Who was it playing the younger version of

Sidey: Joseph Gordon

Reegs: Yes. And you are basically an assassin. That is your job. And then your last job is to kill

Sidey: Yeah

Reegs: and in looper, he breaks the loop and does not do so kicking off the events of the plot possessor. Brandon Cronenberg's

To

Sidey: the poster terrifies me.

Reegs: I was actually right infinity pool is fucking brilliant.

I was a little bit disappointed in comparison

Sidey: Okay This was his debut

Reegs: Yeah, and it's a bit less well formed as a as a movie, but it's still a real intense experience well, I won't say too much about that then if you've not seen it, but also has Assassination vibes to it in a strong way.

Cris: Okay I don't have too many left because I tried to keep it quite short.

John wick, we've all, we've all heard of him and he, according to, I might be mistaken here, but according to cinematography history, he has the highest body count out of any

Sidey: Probably just in one of the films alone

I mean there's

Cris: probably, but especially the last one.

Sidey: Pete won't watch it because

the plot kicks off because of a dog and he just hates dogs so much he's like oh fuck a dog No

Cris: He's never watched John Wick.

Sidey: he refuses to

do it

Cris: Anyway

Sidey: you know what pizza is

Cris: and I have the last one is I can't remember his name in this movie. It's called the American with George Clooney,

Reegs: Oh, yeah,

Cris: which I, it's not your average action kind of like heavy, but it's quite good. And it's in Italy and George Clooney is quite cool.

Reegs: he's hiding out in

Cris: in

Sidey: is yeah He's doing another

He's doing another film as a hitman. It's coming out on apple TV No, it's called The Wolf or something like that.

But it's, you know, the Mr. and Mrs. Smith premise. It's that, but it's him and Brad Pitt. Not as gay lovers, or anything but hired to do the same job or something like that. it looks shit. Really disappointed with it. I normally get hard on for almost any trailer, but this one, I was like, Hmm, that looks wank

Reegs: Hmm,

Cris: It must be the movie could be better, though. Sometimes that

Sidey: hope so because I

like both of

those guys.

Dan: Well look, I've got one more I'd Gandolfi playing Virgil in well you know who I mean. Yeah.

Cris: yeah

Dan: and he, he played Virgil in True Romance.

Reegs: Romance. True Romance,

Dan: And he was kind of a statistic. Killer, Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He

Reegs: killed the

Dan: three four five.

He killed loads of

Reegs: 80 percent of the time he

Dan: of people he killed

Sidey: he

Dan: statistic killer and also, loved a bit of you know, murder torture, Aggravated assault and all that he's trying to kill alabama. Yeah, he beats the shit out of alabama and he wants to kill.

Reegs: I don't know if it was his debut but it was the first time I really noticed James Gandolfini was in that movie

Dan: well in the, in the scene with he's with Clara, no Alabama in the hotel room beating the shit out of her and she gives him as good as she can. And he, you know, he's taking a few punches in the face and, and, and he's thinking bloody what a bitch this is, you know, she's, and just as he's about to, to kill her she comes in with a, a, a gun.

kill blow of her own and manages to to stab him in the stomach i think or through the eye with a shoe or whatever it is some brutal death but he was a real mean son of a bitch for a

Sidey: Do you read some of the stuff about

sopranos You probably know about all this like like on the dvd sales He was the only one that was getting a cut.

of the

Reegs: Yeah, so

Sidey: And he'd call them all into the he would rage when he found out

So he'd call all the cast into his trailer and give him a cut of his, you know, his take and all that. Real he was a real one He was a

real good

Reegs: all that. He was a

Dan: worked with him said the same. Oh, really? Okay. I kept one back. By the

Sidey: We're there already okay. I kept one back.

I don't think any TV ones, were about Frank Castle, The Punisher?

John Bernthal, he's good. Some great, like, stabby sound effects in that series. when he killed some Mike

And trout You really spoiled his death for me when we were chatting once and he would you'd finished it and I hadn't. Which is memorable for me. But I'm going to put

in, I'll do it now, my nomination is Martin Q. Blank from gross point

Reegs: Yeah, I thought you were gonna, I've left it for you to be

Sidey: Yeah, it's always going to be my nomination, one of my favorite films. He's He's good. He's Like the classic one I spoke about earlier, until it becomes personal, and it all goes to shit. Like, otherwise, and he says, it's not me, it's, you know, just hard to do a job.

It's

Reegs: do a job.

Sidey: Chance He says, chance are if I turn up at your door, you did something to bring me there. That's how he justifies it.

yeah. So, John Cusack

Reegs: Oh, just a couple more mentions. Just an accident, man. If you ever saw the Scott Adkins sort of based on a comic British comic book as well. Well worth watching. You were never really here.

We mentioned it earlier. Did it on the pod? Really liked that ninja assassin. It's got the word assassin actually in the title and Barry. Which you liked the TV series of that, didn't you? And he was an assassin in that as well. But my pick is going to be puss in Boots from the movie Shrek . 'cause he is hired as an assassin, if you remember that originally to kill I think Donkey Shrek.

And,

Cris: Wow.

Sidey: great shout

Cris: That is outstanding work.

I like that. That was good.

My

pick of the bunch I'm gonna pick two from the same movie, which I talked about it before, and now I'm definitely gonna read the book when I find out that it's an actual book.

It's called The Grey Man. Hmm. And Lloyd Hanson is Chris Evan's character, which is,

he's a bit of a dick,

Sidey: He's got a moustache

Cris: Yeah, he's got a mustache and a, and a solid hair game. And he wears like really tight pants, like trousers and stuff. And he, he's quite good in it. And he's also, he really comes across as an asshole.

But the, the best one out of all of them as a real assassin is Avik San is the guy's name in the movie. His real name is Dannu. It's, I think he's Indian, I'm not really sure, so I don't want to offend anyone if he's from Pakistan or somewhere. Southeast Asian, really handsome guy, and he is the ultimate assassin.

He comes and he nearly kills Gosling, but in the end he could kill both Gosling and Anadharmas, and he's just like, no, these are not real people, they're killing women and children, this guy's willing to kill children, I'm out. And he's, he is a solid bad guy.

So

Reegs: the gray man. Yes. I've nearly watched that about five

Sidey: times Yeah.

It's

Cris: Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. If you, if you have two hours and you don't know what to do with your time, I would say that's, that's a good watch. And you like violence and there's quite a few people getting killed.

Sidey: Yeah

Reegs: do like people being

Dan: all that, love all

Cris: In the movie, not, you know, not,

Dan: know. Ah.

not. Oh, maybe, maybe still.

Maybe, Okay.

Cris: Okay.

Sidey: Right, well, remains for you to tell us your own. assassin nominations Yeah, Who'd you

like killing people.

Dan: Who's your favorite killer?

So I've not heard this one before, Sisu.

Sidey: Well I remember

way back, Chris talking about watching it for the first time and he was well

Dan: impressed.

Reegs: had been on my radar since I saw the trailer.

Sidey: Darren Lethley big fan of the pod this was his favourite movie of last year. I think joint

with Well when I said

Dan: one of the 10 or so main

Sidey: Ah I've seen that you,

know people get really excited I've seen

it twice Like so It was

there

Well

Dan: didn't. Well,

Reegs: knew the director the accent, the names, but Jalmari Hellander, he'd

Cris: yeah. He's done

Reegs: he'd done big game. If you'd ever seen that one, which was like air force one. It's got Samuel L. Jackson in it. He's the president. Air force one gets shot down over the wilderness and he has to be sort of

Sidey: be sort of

rescued by

Reegs: kid

with a 13 year old kid.

Sidey: And that

Reegs: that kid is in this

Sidey: Wow okay Right well let's start off with a little bit of trivia, because

Hamari Helander deliberately kept the film tight and lean to 90 minutes as he's not a fan of a three hour epic. Putting it in good stead for

us.

duration.

Cris: Yeah. I thought it was just on time

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: No,

Sidey: And

It's uh it's it's an episodic.

Reegs: Yeah, it's divided into seven chapters,

Dan: the first, the first chapter was the gold,

Sidey: Well it? tells us it gives us some text about what It

tells us what Sisu means. It's a Finnish word with no direct

translation but It means

Reegs: says it means a white knuckled form of courage and unimaginable determination. Sisu manifests itself when all hope is lost.

Sidey: And

then it tells us about the war.

this is 1944, the tail end of the

Second World War

Reegs: You get like a little RISC style board of all the pieces

Sidey: the Russians and the Finnish have signed a treaty and the Finnish have been tasked with booting the Nazis basically out.

And the Nazis have taken up a

strategy

of just fucking

scorched earth, of

just you know fucking ruin everything as they go. They're just gonna fucking, sour grapes, they're just gonna fuck everything up as they leave. And we as we pick it up with this guy who we told has just fucked the war off. He's had enough. He's just retreated out into the middle of nowhere.

Living a

kind of nomadic

Dan: Yeah, a bit Buster Scruggs, isn't he? He's gone panning for gold out there in what looks to be freezing conditions.

Cris: Him and his dog, yeah.

Dan: And we see him with his pan shifting through some, some grit and dirt and in, in the water and, well, blow me down with a feather cause there's a little bit of gold in there.

And,

Based on that and the knowledge of Buster Scruggs, which we watched earlier about a, a, a, a gold prospector we know that they're going to start digging in and around the river or the curve of the river around those areas. And that's what he starts to do. And after what

Seems to be

a little while, he hears a few bombs and explosions as he's digging.

Bloody

hell, this war's getting a little bit closer. At one point, a load of planes go over the top of while he's digging. And you, you get the sense that he's, he's obviously thinks there's something down there. And

Reegs: Yeah. What was that? But he can't escape because

Dan: that's, that's Yeah, well, but he can't escape because it's, it's only just down the road.

And he finds this huge gold bar

Sidey: Did look quite a lot like painted rock to me.

Dan: to

Sidey: But anyway it

Dan: that was real gold.

Sidey: from anything he,

We don't see him excavate it,

Reegs: We do see him in a stream, though, after he has excavated it. His body is, like, riddled with bullet holes, stab wounds. He's got a scar that looks like he's been

Sidey: the fuck did he get that one? Because It's savage. It's like,

all around his neck all the way straight down his gut.

It's like

Reegs: It's

Dan: a zip all the way from his

Sidey: So this guy has been through it and survived some fucking, insane

Reegs: Before we've heard a word about his, and we're gonna get one of the great just how badass is he type speeches in a bit, but yeah, before we've even heard any of that, we know he's, he's something.

And so, anyway, he, he, gathers up the gold and heads off and along the way,

Sidey: Well, that's chapter one, isn't it?

Chapter one is the gold

Reegs: and then chapter two is the Nazis, and along the way he's just riding his horse, and he comes across this sort of, I don't know the fucking term, an analogy, a

Sidey: the

Reegs: remnants of a troop that are heading back as part of this scorched earth.

But these guys are, I mean, if you didn't think the Nazis were bad enough, the two ICs introduced raping one of the other women then comes out and the captain, he's got this like commandant hat and he's like a big, he's almost like anime style, like with his big leather jacket and all that. They're some of the most instantly

Cris: The guy with the, with the hat, he's definitely he's like a, but like an assault, he's like SS because he's got the, the head hunter,

Dan: He is got like the leather, leather hat,

Cris: what the name is, but the head, the head hunter thing is like the skeleton with the tubes. That's laughing the skeleton head and that's the, the assault.

So they're the ones

Reegs: call that the Jolly Rancher.

Cris: I don't know how they call them, but they were the most horrible bastards.

Reegs: So he, these guys are all coming the other way and he's kind of slowly walking his horse past them. He even makes eye contact with, the Commandant, as he

Sidey: he goes by Well, both of them kind of

Dan: both of 'em kind of looked at each other and at the, the, the rapist then let turns to level his gun as he goes by and is gonna shoot him in the back. But the the commandant, he kind of just waves him down.

He says, don't worry is

Reegs: Save your

Dan: saveable. It's, there's not, there's nothing where he's going. You know, he knows there's, there's more of him. We've fucked him. And it is, it's. He's nuts back there. So don't worry about it. And and they're a little bit pleased when they hear a few fired rounds a little while down the line and they assume that's him, but then there's some other shots and obviously they begin to be a little unsettled because Our hero has found this next group who haven't let him just wander on past and started questioning him, didn't they?

They started saying, have you got papers? You got this? That? Oh, you got a load of fucking gold here. We'll have that. Well, we start to see now why you don't fuck with

Sidey: You're kind of just waiting for it

to go.

Cris: it's

also, I found it quite good because I thought initially when I watched the movie that he's going to get stopped by the guy, the first, the first group of Nazis that, and I thought, okay, oh, he got past him. Ooh, that was close. You know, and then he, he, He gets to the second group and you're like, Oh, right, he's not going to get past these ones, is he?

And, and obviously, they see the axe, they see the, the, you know, the pickaxe, and they see yeah, he's a

Sidey: what is there three, four of

them in

this group?

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: So The first guy the first guy has him sort of turned around doesn't he? And he, reaches for his knife and he just fucking stabs the guy straight. through

Reegs: Straight through the brain

Sidey: you just See.

the

And the camera just sort of holds it for a few seconds while you're watching it going fuck.

You

Reegs: get a lot of that kind of reaction of these Nazi guys being like, What the fuck? Just, like

Dan: the, the killing is so brutal and so quick. I mean, it's not like he's just, the, the blade has come out the other side of his head, you know?

Sidey: And and as we see,

almost in every confrontation, he doesn't get away scot free.

like He takes loads of fucking beatings and gunshots. and

Cris: he gets damage. He gets a lot of damage,

Reegs: these three go down very quickly. The brain guy one, one guy is stabbed about eight or 10

Sidey: There's quite a lot of human shield He stabs that guy loads in the side, and then human shields him while he goes towards the other guy.

Reegs: And the final guy, he uses his service revolver that's in, that's holstered to shoot himself in the foot and then blows his head off with a with a gun that's under his chin,

Sidey: I think he kills one he kills Well, he wounds one, because one doesn't die. He does him with the helmet, I think he just fucking

pummels him

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: And and that's what we get, because you were talking about they hear the gunfire, they go off to investigate. Like, great little bit of economy of storytelling here, where the bad guy, the leader of the bad guys, just turns up, finds one of the dying guys, looks at a clump of gold on the floor, 2IC, grabs, like, makes a fist round the gold, looks back at his dead comrade, and off we go again with the story, like, all told in a few minutes,

Dan: and, and that's

Sidey: And you're thinking so this guy is fucking

badass Well

Dan: Well, if, if you, if you're not already sure that the German Nazis were after the gold, then they definitely are

Sidey: Well they

get orders don't they they're in the tank, they, so these guys have got a tank, and the the two IC gets on the radio, and they're ordered to basically go left.

Reegs: Well, then they go after him straight away, don't they? Because he's like, there's this amazing scene where he's just picking up the gold and the whole of the, like, there's a tank there and

Sidey: it after that bit where they get told

Reegs: No,

Cris: tank there, and

Reegs: and

Cris: a convoy He's like, no, we're going back.

And then on the way back, they, they get told, because they get, they put the dog tags in and they get told

Sidey: this guy

Cris: who this guy is.

Sidey: like, you're lucky. That's it for us this goal

is our

Dan: our way out.

It's our way

Sidey: is our get out.

Reegs: our way out. Room for

Dan: Yeah, in two, in two or three weeks time, they're going to throw us under the bus when we get back home. If we've got a bit of gold, bit of money, we might be able to buy some influence. So this is their get out of jail free card and they're going for it.

Reegs: But also they get a big speech from home about who they're up against.

He's, he's described as a one man death squad. Basically the fins couldn't control him. His family were like killed by the Russians or something. So. He was out on patrol and they just couldn't control him so he was just sent off

Cris: They just set him

Reegs: hunt Russians on his own and

Cris: Well, that's what they're saying, he's like, You met this guy, and you're still alive. Good. Leave him alone.

Reegs: And he's got a nickname, Koshy, the immortal.

Sidey: Okay, did you read anything about one of the guys who was the

inspiration for

Cris: death. The Yeah.

Sidey: Hi Ha Believed to have killed Over 500

enemy soldiers.

Fucking

Cris: who he was inspired by the white death.

Sidey: White Knave is known as The White Death

Cris: And that's a real guy.

Sidey: sniper of all

Cris: And that guy lived to 82 or something like that. The white death guy.

Sidey: he would probably make our top five I would

say

Reegs: like this, yeah. Probably, yeah. Is this,

Sidey: is

this a sep is this chapter three the minefield Yeah yeah exactly

Reegs: the minefield? Does he not just trip the minefield? He

Sidey: What does he not just trip a mine mine

Cris: trips on

a

Sidey: They're just watching him They're just watching him And then he just goes BANG and flies up in the air.

And then He's he's looking at his horse and I think he kind of strokes it as well

Dan: Well, yeah, he's covered

Reegs: in horse guts and

Dan: He's, he's covered in all sorts. And, and this is the scene where he starts putting all the gold back in the satchel.

Yeah. At the limit of the the minefield, the tanks and the, the battalion platoon are all kind of just stood there watching

Reegs: and they've again got that look of what the fuck , like when he's just

Sidey: gathering up the gold.

He's not panicking. He's just like, well, I need to pick this up. He's also

I think in his mind.

he's obviously

super fucking resourceful. And he's like, right, this is a minefield, so I'm going to use that to my

Dan: advantage.

He's already clocked a couple of mines that have been exposed,

Sidey: and we see him

Dan: up a rock.

Sidey: reaches for one particular rock, doesn't he? as he's And they say some shit to him and they're

Reegs: he sets off a mine so he can disappear into the, like dust. And then he, like, then you just see a mine come flying out of the dust and land on one guy's face. Yeah. Just blows him up. And then like, two guys then are sent out into the dust, I th into the, yeah.

And one guy's leg gets blown off. And then triggers another mine that kills the other guys. Just amazing.

Sidey: just amazing.

And But they're just shooting endless rounds, they all, you know, it's one of those where they're like, fire and he's just got, What is he using as a shield?

I can't remember

Reegs: gold panning thing.

Sidey: that's it. And he's just kind of crouched behind it getting pummeled by this gunfire.

but

Reegs: Good job. They didn't shoot his

Sidey: I know I did think that

but I just like that's fine it doesn't matter and,

But they can't see him and they were just waiting for the dust to settle before

more violence.

Dan: And they waited just a few seconds before shooting and the commandant said, Fucking shoot!

Like, what are you doing? Like, where, he couldn't have just disappeared, you know? Shoot, the bullets will go through that dust and kill him, and we'll see him in the other end. But they don't, they, it's another fuck up, and he is able to navigate the,

Reegs: Where he gets away, he gets away to like, some, like a broken down car or whatever. And then the,

Sidey: he has to send his dog away

Reegs: yeah, he has to send the

Dan: the dog. So he, he makes

Sidey: they do. try and kill it yeah

Dan: They take some pot shots. But he, he gets away. And the dog we don't see again until chapter 3. Just after the the mine. I can't remember the name of this chapter. But you're right Riggs. He falls asleep just under an old car.

And He falls asleep too long because The nazis that are haven't given up looking for him Start wandering along the road by the time he's woken up. They're already

Sidey: And he has been shot Yeah, Because it's important.

Dan: Yeah, he has kind of torn He has torn acade himself in a couple of different places ripped out a few bullets.

Reegs: Oh, there's some amazing scenes of surgery in this. We'll talk about one later, obviously, but I'm sure maybe Darren nominated it when we did our surgery

Sidey: scenes, I

Reegs: I think because

Sidey: Yeah

Dan: Well, I can understand why.

Sidey: there's some,

Yeah,

Reegs: so

yeah, when the story picks up, they are rumbling past now they've got dogs, sniffer dogs out, which is obviously a problem.

So he hooks himself onto the underside of a passing truck. Douses himself in petrol to disguise the smell when he is eventually rumbled by the, they set the dogs on him. So he sets himself on fire to scare the dogs off. It's amazing. And then just dives into the lake. Again, just more moments of brilliance.

So soldiers are

Dan: holds himself down to the bottom with the bag of gold. Okay,

Sidey: It looked incredible when he's underwater and you've got the air bubbles coming out and it's lit incredibly. And again, it's one of those where the commandant's like, right, you and you, fuck off over there and go and get him.

And they're in a in a boat, and it's a shitty little rowboat, and And they have to fall into the water. And he does,

Does

he come up once

for air and then he goes back?

down?

Cris: He

comes up once,

Sidey: And then, so matey goes in first and you see nothing. Uh well this way you do see the kill. He swims up behind him, the guy's sort of like, that he's got all his gear and he's got his helmet on, so it's not very buoyant.

And mate he just comes up behind him slits his throat. Um And and this is fucking brilliant. Takes the air

Cris: out

of

Sidey: out of his fucking severed

Cris: through his windpipe, yeah.

Sidey: It's amazing And then And

then the guy in the boat's looking and you just see bubbles come up, and then it all turns red. And then another guy's sent in, and this time you just

see,

pause.

Waiting,

Red he's like this is amazing And he deserts The last guy in the boat is just like you can fuck off And he just rows away

Dan: Yeah, well, even his own trooper saying, Oh, fuck this. I mean, they, they just think they've bitten off more than they can chew here. And this is like a. You know, it's,

Reegs: well, the third guy's fucked anyway, isn't he?

Because Corp is his name,

Sidey: isn't he

Reegs: it? Army PY is already hanging on the other side of the boat. So he was gonna be killed by COR if he wasn't shot for being Deserter, which he is. Anyway KPI gets to the other side,

Dan: wasn't even sure he was de being, he was rowing away though. I thought that he was being pulled and he was like being blamed for.

If you're going to, he's like, what

Reegs: Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah.

Dan: but he gets shot anyway.

Sidey: killed and

Dan: and, and this, then the German that has to shoot his own guy, he just, he's the second in command, if you like, he's

Sidey: two iic Yeah yeah.

Dan: And he's like, Oh fuck this. Like, you know, even he is like disappointed that he's got to, he go, is that, is that?

Is that Jans? There's a few kind of scenes as they're going past people, aren't they? And he's killed

Cris: Yeah, but wait, we're not there yet.

Dan: Was that not part of when he was under the truck? Okay, so I've jumped on a little bit. Let's, let's

catch

Cris: because now the dog comes and is trying to, to find, to find, the dog tried to find his way over the lake, and you can see the, the Obersturmbannfuhrer or whatever, he kind of looks at him, he's like, Bring that dog to me.

He kind of pets him and he's like, bring that dog to me. Then we get the scene when Otomi goes to like an abandoned village where, where it was all, I think it was an abandoned petrol station and he again falls asleep and I think this is where he patches himself up the first time where you can see a brilliant technique of self surgery, where he patches himself up with, Pretty much what looks like barbed wire.

Reegs: Yeah, it is barbed wire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he clips it back together. It clips like this huge wood.

Actually, that is after the

Cris: I'm pretty sure it's before the dog.

Dan: It's all in around the same time because he's taken

Cris: he cleans it, drinks it, and then clips his skin together

Reegs: the pilot watches him do that. That's later, because the pilot watches it do The pilot who takes him watches him do that surgery, and he's like, Oh my God!

Dan: Yeah, which which is a little bit later the

Cris: We get to see the dog coming and he's he hears the dog barking. He's like, Oh my God, the dog. And then you can see the dog has a landmine

Dan: a stick of dynamite

Cris: of dynamite attached to

Dan: And the fuse is about a centimeter long now, so he quickly just rips it off the dog and and lobs it as the explosion he gets caught in it and he's waking up then at the feet of the, the guy who wants the gold

Cris: Yeah, the SS officer,

yeah.

Dan: SS officer, he's two badass right hand men.

One of them's a tank driver. The other one is this kind of rapist, long, sharpshooter sniper guy. And they put him in a noose, they hang him up, and and that's the end of that. He

Reegs: He looks dead, doesn't he? And he does. One of them the youngest one who's got facial scars takes their hat off

Dan: That's right, the tank driver.

Sidey: this guy's good

Dan: And, and it is a little bit,

Reegs: two are a bit more mocking, they take their hats off as

Dan: they do do it along with it. And I think at this stage they just thought he's a tough motherfucker. You know?

Sidey: But also it's one of those things It's one of those things though,

it's like, just get, it just get

it Get it Get it Get it Why take a chance And I was watching again how the fuck's he going to get out of this And how he does it is fucking, so grim.

He's got a bullet wound in his

Ankle. sort of lower leg shin. Which, he he's, you know, swinging his legs around and he discovers that on the gallows, the sort of signage where he's been hanged,

there's a a big nail sticking

Reegs: It's rebar, it's protruding, there's like rebar

Sidey: He and

he hooks his bullet wound

Dan: First

Sidey: yeah can't

Dan: he can't really get there. So, to take the weight of him, he thinks, I'll just rest up.

Sidey: I'll

hook my bullet inflict wound inflicted leg onto that,

Cris: that will take

Sidey: And and leverage myself up a little bit so I'm, just enough so I can breathe.

And, as he does that, it starts to creak and break so that he slips down a bit. But it's, overnight isn't

Reegs: he's there for ages and then what actually knocks it off is the plane landing

Sidey: That's right yeah as it's

Reegs: coming to land. Yeah. It just loosens the noose thing a little bit and it starts to slide off. 'cause when the they come, you know, they land the plane, the two Nazis, they, they say

I'll

Dan: looking for petrol. Yeah,

Reegs: And they're gonna kill anybody that's there as

Dan: Yeah, one of

Reegs: they see him and the dog and he's like, kill him.

Dan: Well, one of them is obviously a A veteran, a bad motherfucker, and there's this other pilot who looks a little bit younger and he's a bit more curious and he's going, oh fuck, this guy's still alive, like, you know, and he goes, oh, fucking shoot him then.

But he doesn't get a

Sidey: he gets

Reegs: he?

gets his legs kicked out from underneath him when he goes to investigate and he headbutts the concrete really horribly and you hear like one shot and then the guy's like, And the dog! And the dog goes over and gets him

Dan: barking and barking and barking. Then it stops, but he realizes things have got a bit strange in the way that he's shouting and his, his comrade isn't replying.

He sees his comrade on the floor. And by the time he turns the corner, he's where he's. Taking a beating, isn't he? And he,

Reegs: This is then he ties him up and he does that horrific Self surgery scene right in front of him because the guy he's like you're gonna take me there And then he has to watch him do that to himself like it's just

Dan: yeah, he thinks whatever I'm going to do to, to, to him, isn't going to be even as bad as what I'm doing to myself right now.

And this is grim.

Reegs: And then we get yet another moment of like pure badassery because the moment then cuts to our tank guys as they're going on. And this jumps ahead a couple of minutes, but it's fine. They find like a plane that's crashed

Cris: in the middle of

Reegs: the middle of the road in front of them. And then when they go to investigate the guys like that's my noose.

Like imagine how that would shit you up. You think the guy's dead. He is

Sidey: it's horror film vibes isn't it

Yeah.

Dan: Yeah, and this

Reegs: Well, that's the difference. The only difference between a slasher and an action movie like this is which side of the protagonist you're on. It's the same movie.

Dan: Well, he's, he's played this kind of story and played into this legend of himself. And he

Cris: And now we find out when the girl tells the story in the in the truck

that she's like, you don't understand.

Yeah.

Reegs: You're already dead. You

Cris: and your boyfriend,

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: your boyfriend already dead. You don't understand. He's not immortal. He just refuses to die.

That you don't, you've never seen anything like this.

And that's when you get to see, Ooh, is that Jens? Ooh, is that Hans? And he just, he just kind of

Dan: squashed faces and

Cris: into the truck and he

Reegs: just, well, there's a brilliant moment where there's two like soldiers at the back and then suddenly just one of them's dead. Yeah. And everybody's like, alright, he's gone. And then when the other guy leans out, I think he's stabbed in the neck with that pickax, isn't he?

'cause now Sisu has picked up a pickax.

Dan: Yeah, well he, he had the pickax from the prospecting right at the beginning. It's a, but he, he meets these these women who have all been taken hostage.

Sidey: the Joy division. isn't it That's where the band

Dan: Yeah. Right. Yeah. And he kits them out with guns. And together they. Then think right well, you know, we're gonna stop this lot going going forward anymore but he slips out he's got his own gold and everything to pick up Because they've managed to get his gold.

Of course, they've taken all this. And the girls, managed to get the tank don't they eventually they

Sidey: of all First

Reegs: first of all, they take over the

Sidey: Because There's two trucks, isn't there? Yeah. There's the one with them

as prisoners and there's the one with the soldiers Bit

Dan: scene

Sidey: Yeah they they surprise them by I think, They pull up alongside, and the driver looks around, and there's a woman driving it, he's like, what the fuck? And They

they just rip

the canvas off the back and just fucking

gun these all these soldiers down

Dan: on the nazis When she

Sidey: It's

Reegs: the meantime, when she was driving, she'd slowed down so that Sisu, that's what I'm gonna call him now, no, Atami Corpi, grabs the barrel of the tank gun that, like, protrudes into the back of the thing, and then pulls himself onto the tank.

And we get the final, he has a fight with Wolf, doesn't he? On the top of the tank and Wolf is eventually dispatched onto the floor to be picked

Dan: up all, all the, all the baddies eventually start dropping.

The rapist is the one sent out first. And he looks on top, but then. Is they both fall off, I think,

Sidey: a good scrap they? have a good scrap

Dan: both, fall off the tank. He manages to, to kill him once they've fallen off. But again, it's, it's kind of, no, he holds him hostage, doesn't he?

Reegs: he? Two guys turn up with, they've got, like, an RPG, machine guns, and a motorbike, and they turn up and see him, and they fucking shit themselves and

Dan: themselves and

Reegs: leave all their stuff.

Cris: just looks at them, yeah,

Dan: he's just holding their kind of immediate, You know, Commander or something by the neck and they just can't believe he's not already dead. They've seen him like this guy They've heard the legend They've seen a noose that was around his neck appear on a plane that they they're in no mood to fuck around with this guy And they don't look

Sidey: It's the right decision. Get the fuck out of there

Reegs: right

Dan: They turn and go leaving the keys so he Does he kill that,

Cris: No,

Reegs: No, he leaves him

Cris: the girls,

the

Reegs: the girls

to get their

Dan: who, who turn up a few minutes later. He thinks he's got away with it, but they're walking through, aren't they? With a load of guns

Cris: and the tank.

Dan: and

Reegs: They take him in the tank, he's like, trus up and hung from the tank barrel and sent off back

Sidey: the

Dan: Yeah. Well, Yeah. he, he runs on past because as the commander gets to his rent rendezvous point, there's an aeroplane and another kind of major guy. He instantly shoots. Tank guy, so he doesn't have to spend any of the money with him. Yeah. And and then they're about to fly away on a plane until

Cris: Atami, Atami comes on the, on the

Dan: On a little sidecar motorbike and a gun

Reegs: he's like barreling it towards the plane as

Dan: with a pickax. Yeah. Just kind of waving

Reegs: And they're looking out going, is he gone?

And they see the, they see the

Sidey: motorbike goes off

Reegs: like, yeah, no, he's still down there, but.

Sidey: bit Because you wouldn't expect this. He Pickaxes himself to the,

Cris: bottom

of the plane. Yeah.

Sidey: And manages to find this skate way on This guy's just amazing. Amazing, yeah. And so we're gonna get a fight on board the airplane

Reegs: We do. And he takes his licks it's really a fight between him and the commander, I really

should get

his

Dan: his cell phones. The other major who's flying the plane is taking a hit when he's sprayed in full of bullets as he's, he's playing chicken with the aeroplane at the beginning as

Sidey: because He's got a machine gun mounted on that motorbike, hasn't he?

But this is a really Sadistic, awful fight. He gets um It looks like he's getting beaten this time and he's getting a

thrashing with the

dog tags. I think is it something oh just a chain? He's getting whipped across the face like, flaying

the skin off

Cris: the, with the belt from the, like, the seat belts

Sidey: That's right Yeah and it's it's like flaying

the skin off his face. It's absolutely Brutal. And you think, fuck, you know, this is a bad one.

But eventually, after the millionth swipe with his chain, he catches it.

attaches the hook

Dan: to a bomb

Sidey: And it's like an almost a Doctor Strangelove moment where he's like you know, bomb doors open, and mate he just fucking goes through with the bomb.

Reegs: I think he flicks a finger

Sidey: He does

Dan: you mother fucker on the way down

Reegs: it's like a wide shot, and you just see the bomb hit the

Dan: And and I was thinking oh where they hit but fortunately it didn't seem to be over a city it was just in like

Sidey: near the girls thank god

Dan: Yeah, it was it was just in

Cris: and then, and then to make it even better, the, the major pilot plane, the pilot of the plane is dead, and the plane, because of all the damage he's done to the plane, is gonna crash,

Sidey: This bit I was very like, oh come

on I mean really

Cris: just, and you can see him bracing himself, going

Sidey: but he goes

through all the boxes,

everything, under there all

the seats,

there's

Dan: Well, wait a minute, because I know what happens in these films, you know, like the Takes the the controls and manages to save the plane or he finds a Parachute and he's able to jump out in the even if it's really really

Sidey: or a life raft like in Indiana Jones

It's

Dan: something No, he, he, he, he straps himself in with a few seatbelts and, and just, and it goes down just straight down.

Reegs: bulkhead and then the plane, yeah.

Just crashes at about a thousand

Dan: And we, we, we realize actually it's not hit the ground though. It's hit, it's hit like a bog. It's like the bog of eternal stench. He's gone into A peat bog that is effectively broken the fall. And we see him a few minutes later an arm a sack of gold appear and he's managed to climb out

Cris: With his face kind of hanging, opened. It's

Dan: better than it was 10 minutes ago, but the peat must have just kind of stuck it back together but it was that was of all Kind of parts in the film one of the things you just think this guy's nails,

Reegs: Yeah, hard

Dan: that hard as nails I mean that definitely happened

Reegs: and so, yeah, we get a bit of very quick wrap up to the film. Now we already talked about the girls taking the rapist back to be dealt with.

Cris: For all the rest

Sidey: Like they're

Cris: the

Dan: they say, well all the rest are dead. Everyone else

Cris: Yeah, everyone

Reegs: everyone else is dead.

And

Sidey: a bit of admin in the bank.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Is also the only time he speaks.

Sidey: Yeah

Reegs: It is,

Dan: is yeah, yeah, that's right the whole time through the film we walked through the bank and it's quite a to do place and there's people with you know well heeled shoes

Cris: you can see them just kind of like, almost like Moses when he opened the sea, everyone just goes away

Dan: right is this kind of

Sidey: Yeah and

he doesn't look in tip top shape

Cris: No, I know. But still it's like you can see the people's reaction and then he just throws the gold on

Sidey: says i want

Large denomination notes.

Reegs: Yeah, so, and he

Dan: Bill's

Reegs: the load won't be so damn heavy to carry. And that's how it

Dan: is heavy and he's made it seem quite light for for big parts of the film. I like this. This was really good. Remind me a little bit of was it no one? The Bob.

In, in a sense that he actually got beat up a little bit as well. It wasn't one way traffic where he wasn't

Sidey: happy

Dan: or anything.

He, he took the hits as well, but just refused to give up. As you said, Chris, he was just like one of those guys who just didn't give up. Did not know when he was beat. I really like this. Yeah, I thought it was a real good action thriller

Reegs: It's like, it's sort of tonally similar to something like or could be set in the same universe as inglorious

Sidey: Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah it's Tarantino y almost

Reegs: Tarantino esque vibe.

Sidey: thought the actual typography of the

Cris: Well, yeah, it's inspired by Spaghetti Western.

Reegs: It's got the score is like that

Cris: That's what they were saying, that it's kind of inspired by that kind of vibe. So that's why with the chapter one, chapter two, all that, you could have thought it's a Tarantino

Sidey: I I thought this definitely had western vibes today But also vigilante you know that sort of thing as well

Reegs: also distinctly finish as well. That was also, you know, that's what comes through.

Cause it is a, You know, we've seen a lot of one man army type movies and to make them different, they have to have something different about them. And this certainly did. It had a certain finishness about it that, you know, is through the whole, I really liked the complete lack of moralizing around the gold.

He doesn't give it up for vengeance. He doesn't have to earn it. He just, he gets the gold at the end and that's it.

You

Cris: And then he wants the money, which is a gold prospector's

Dan: Yeah

Oh,

Cris: goal, really.

Sidey: I mean I absolutely loved it, was brilliant. The plane crashed a little bit, I was

like okay come on. Um But

um but, who cares, it was

just fucking great it's, just great fun

Dan: given me enough

Sidey: Yeah it had plenty

in the bank that I didn't bother me too much, yeah, I

thought it was fantastic

Reegs: I

Dan: strong.

Strong

Cris: Strong recommend, yeah, strong recommend.

Are we in for noms for next week?

Sidey: is diabolic, first. of all Oh

Cris: Oh

yeah, shit, sorry, I forgot about that.

Dan: Oh, they forgot about the kids TV.

Sidey: Kids TV

diabolic. This was good and morally ambiguous.

Reegs: This has got to be, like, the biggest thing in the world that most people have never heard

of.

Sidey: heard of. it

Reegs: Um, and it has perilously little about it sort of online as well.

You know, when you consider that it's clearly, like, well loved. It's based on a comic book created by Angela and Luciana Giussani. Giussani.

Sidey: Yeah

Cris: Yeah,

Giussani.

Reegs: And it starts with an unbelievably awesome Shirley Bassey style big show tune. Um, which I really liked and we watched the episode on a student, didn't

Sidey: Yes, I looked this up so obviously I did some research, and where we watched it was

Cris: you look at

Sidey: If you look at it on 6, and if you look at it on IMDB, it's episode 8.

This is

Cris: I, we, I, do you know what? That was because it's on the, the series on

Sidey: We watched it on

YouTube Yeah,

Cris: we watched it on YouTube, and this was the first episode out of the ones on YouTube. Yeah.

So I just kind of shared that one,

Sidey: It was good

Cris: me thinking that it would be the first episode,

Sidey: Yeah So

this one.

Reegs: premise is essentially, isn't it, that he's kind of Robin Hood.

Sidey: guy in hood Yeah, he's,

Reegs: He's a thief who only steals from thieves.

Dan: He

Cris: kind of.

Dan: He's

he's kind of like a a batman

Sidey: the back story Is that he, this organization called the Brotherhood. He was part of the, he was, a bit like James Bond?

He was the adopted son. Of the leader of the villains and the real son was jealous of him so set him up. And he did five years.

did

Reegs: bangs on and on about it at the end of the

Cris: he cries.

Sidey: so then when

he's got out, his mission is to,

um like take this brotherhood organization

down.

That's the, that's the premise. And the episode that we watched, called on a student

shows you how they kind of recruit

Yes

Reegs: It's blatantly grooming. This old man grooms the gym team, gets close to them.

We don't want to go into too much. There's clearly sexual abuse.

Definitely.

Anyway, he inculcates them into his, you know, weird philosophy and then introduces them to another like white

Sidey: He says to them

He says to the fellow, Dane isn't it He says,

what I do is I make them so dependent upon

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: That they can't say no. And you're like, you're a sick.

Reegs: That is sick. Yeah. Wow. That is some

Sidey: And so they,

are, because when,

at first they're like ruthless students, just cutthroat

trying to beat

but it's just competitive instinct.

Right. And

then

when he's, this kid is who wins the trial to become their new

recruit

He says, right,

Cris: It's gymnastics.

Sidey: Yeah.

he says right you're going to go fucking steal this thing for me.

It's worth a

million

Reegs: London gems from the Tower

Sidey: don't want to do that And he's like no you fucking will. do it well you

Cris: And then he's like, okay.

Reegs: And meanwhile, Diabolik is climbing the outside of the tower to listen in. He has these, he's dressed like a Mumford's and Sons

Sidey: I thought it was like the man delivers milk tray.

The Milk Tray Man

Reegs: He had a

Dan: a James Pond.

Sidey: Oh so when he's got his costume on he's the Milk Tray Man Yeah.

Reegs: Anyway, so it becomes this story really of diabolic trying to help this guy Philip because he sees himself in it basically and what happened to him and Philip is sent to the london tower of gems to steal the gems or whatever Helpfully the london tower of gems has a fucking enormous diamond

Sidey: Yeah it's a good landmark he He does it by kind of going

I can't

remember what the first obstacle

1. The

second one is some sort of gears

Reegs: and shit.

Yeah

Sidey: and he then Kind of laser cuts a hole in

the floor, which when he goes into the

vault,

just fixes itself.

It just reforms magically. And he's trapped in the vault And Diabolik has to blow the

vault door open.

Reegs: His mentor, who had promised not to bin him off, fucking shock horror, has binned him off while he's got

Sidey: He's a bastard He's got a a female sidekick, hasn't he Eva Kent Yeah. Which could be careful how you say

Reegs: She, yes, and she plants some

Sidey: They steal from the vault and plant it

Reegs: plant it on the guy to fit him up! At the end of it! And then everybody goes, Ha ha ha, well done, like.

Sidey: mate Yeah so what, we so what we have is they're basically as bad as each other, and it just depends on

Cris: The angle,

Dan: of the fence you're on.

Sidey: The prism that you see them through.

Reegs: see them

Sidey: As to who's

Dan: Kids never had a chance, did they, in this?

Reegs: Well, he does, in fact, give the kid a chance. That

Sidey: is the

Reegs: the central That's what happens at the end of the movie. Because he lets him off, doesn't he? So, and then he But not without a sort of Finger wagging and tongue lashing where he talks about I was raped every day for five years when I was inside.

I don't think he says that bit, but he does talk. He does bang on about I did hard time and it's shit and you wouldn't like it. And

Sidey: yeah, this is your chart. This is your, you know, basically see this as a,

Cris: don't do this again because yeah

Dan: Animation wise, this is a classic kind

Sidey: that this is 97.

It seems pretty good

Dan: So we're looking

Sidey: it would have been earlier than

Dan: kind

Sidey: looks a bit

Reegs: Oh my god, sorry, there's just one bit as well.

Because he explicitly, Philip, goes off and goes, I'm gonna go back to school, and then get a job. Which is like

Sidey: out the

Reegs: Plans out the rest

Dan: year. Some, some

good

Sidey: wise It's that hand drawn, kind of looks a little bit like

He

Man No I'll tell you what it looks like What it looks

Dan: is where I

Sidey: and what it reminded me of,

is is, Young Sherlock Holmes.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, a lot like

Sidey: I would Wager

it's probably the

Same

Dan: Same animators.

Cris: Animator, yeah. I told you when I spoke about this that I thought it was French. It's Italian.

Sidey: Yeah,

Reegs: it? same thing.

Cris: it's not much of a

Sidey: difference.

Cris: And luckily we had it dubbed. So we didn't have to read or listen

Reegs: to learn a new language.

Dan: like the reggae version

Cris: But it was 14 minutes.

Sidey: No, it was 24.

Cris: Was it 24?

Reegs: It was 24 because if I am going to be the length police, lol, then I will say it was too long. But this was actually pretty good though. I did like it's morally confusing protagonist and storylines.

Cris: it's, it's, this is why I remembered it, because I thought he's, I wasn't, I couldn't remember if he's an assassin or a thief or both. Which is, because he's,

Sidey: no, no,

Cris: he, he's kind of like that, he doesn't kill anyone, but he's also, he's, Ooh, I'm the good guy, but I'm also the bad guy, so, so, you don't really, do you like him, but you don't like him?

I don't know, it's a bit, it's

Reegs: Shade to grey, innit, Chris?

Sidey: 50 Shades of Grey I'd say

Cris: So

I

don't know, it was alright, I mean,

Sidey: It was better than alright It was

Dan: expected. Well, I've seen a

Cris: seen a lot worse cartoons than this.

Sidey: Yeah,

I thought this was excellent, I really enjoyed

it.

Cris: but

Reegs: I thought it was pretty good. It certainly wasn't diabolical.

Sidey: that's

where we'd

Dan: No, strong recommend,

Sidey: not diabolique No strong

Dan: anyone wanting to

Cris: anyone wanting to watch this?

It's on youtube, quite a few episodes feel free to

Sidey: there are 40 episodes in total out there yeah if you're enjoying We

Dan: we may go back into this may dip into it. I think it's been a pretty pretty good show.

Reegs: We not do outros anymore?

Sidey: anymore?

Yeah but you just launched a straight intro Oh let's do that

Cris: I

Dan: Dan's gone.

Cris: that. Never.

Dan: No, I'm, I'm, I'm intrigued to see what Simon's going to say this week as his outro, but really enjoyed this week. Thought it

Sidey: Yeah it was, strong strong good good noms Chris

Some

Dan: good, good stuff. Good noms there, like Sisu. Even going back on the Jackal, I'd like to do the Jackal again with a little more depth into his film.

Not the

Reegs: point in us reviewing that movie again,

Dan: No, not the same film, but the character of the Jackal, because I

Sidey: Wasn't he on the cover

of It's

Reegs: The Smash Hits? Smash

Sidey: Yeah,

by Black Grape

Dan: By Black Rape, I think he did put him on.

Sidey: Who's nominating next week?

Dan: It

Sidey: For

next week

Dan: may be one of you or you. Yeah,

Sidey: I have as

Reegs: I have as well, I've got one of the, I, one of the worst things that I've ever had to watch is the children's thing.

Sidey: I've got some

bad stuff.

Reegs: stuff. Alright, well

Dan: well, there's, there's

Sidey: But we'll figure it out we'll figure

Dan: out, we'll figure out

Cris: bad stuff, not something

Sidey: There's footage to

be watched, and, vomiting children to go and see too So all that remains is to say, Sidey signing out.

Reegs: Reegs has left the building.

Dan: da da. Dan's gone.