Saltburn & Salt Acid Fat Heat

Saltburn

Cris: Yeah, but you fell off your bike, no? You've

Dan: I, maybe I

an accident. Maybe I did

hit my head.

Reegs: It is difficult to remember when you've been doing it every week for four and a half

Dan: but not, not last week.

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, the podcast where the saltiness isn't just in the popcorn, it's in the tears of laughter we shed when Dan tries to remember his name, the beads of sweat on Chris's brow when he's faced with a robotic hoover, or rung from Sidey Cycling Short's gusset after yet another 100km ride.

This week we're diving headlog into the briny depths Assault Week side, as we chat about the top five seasons and then following that we're all on the record as being big fans of full frontal male nudity here at Bad Dads, and this week's movie gives us a lot to chew on, as we review Emerald Falls.

Edd n Nell's literal eat the rich, gothic black comedy salt burn, starring Barry Keoghan and Jacob Edgelordy. And we close out the show by tuning into Samyn Nosrat's docuseries Salt Fat Asi Acid Heat Episode 2 Appropriately Enough Salt. Before we start, I often do an explicit content slash spoiler warning at this point, so if you are a bit of a sensitive persuasion, or you don't want to know who slurped who's cum out of the bath, I suggest you tune into Radio 2 for a bit

Sidey: a bit instead.

Reegs: So have you been up to anything? I'd love to say you've been crying salty Spurs tears this week, but you don't care enough about the football for me as an Arsenal fan to get anything more than meager pleasure from it. So,

Sidey: I don't care at all, no. I didn't watch that, I didn't watch any football. I watched all of Fallout.

Nearly cried salt tears at the, what I consider to be, unsatisfactory ending of it.

Reegs: The guy with the eye in the middle is so weird to look at.

Sidey: He was quite compelling. Have you finished it

Reegs: now? No, I've halfway through episode five or

six. Okay.

Dan: or 6. I

Sidey: I just

thought the ending was just like fairly

mundane.

But anyway

Dan: like,

Sidey: yeah, it's a bit of news. Yeah, yeah. I watched that. I watched, I caught up with Sugar last night, but I was so exhausted from another epic bicycle ride that I fell asleep and missed the whole thing. I have to re watch that. And I think it was just homework. I think that's all I got up to.

I think. Oh no, that's not true at all. Did two of the extended Lord of the Rings films with my

Reegs: Oh right,

that

Dan: did that as well, yeah.

Cris: so

Sidey: Yeah. So I watched two of those. The first two is Athens. Yeah. One of them gave me some fodder for the top five.

Reegs: Oh, nice.

Dan: Well, I forgot I was in a podcast, so, I watched salt last night, but I hadn't seen the other ones that we've got for this week. So I'm eager to hear how you guys gotten with him and what you thought. I did watch a film though. I watched a film called, I think it was eight men, eight boys in a boat.

It's about, yeah, it was about the USA

rowing

team that won the kind of heats and their American showdown with different universities

Sidey: Did they then call themselves the world champs

Dan: to compete at the olympics in the 1936 olympics with um you know germany with hitler and all the rest of it and all the the trials and tribulations of of them making it to gold there it was quite good is all right

Cris: I've

watched, I think I've got one more episode of Shogun.

What kind of an eighth or ninth? I think,

Dan: it's i think it finishes on eight i've i've caught all them actually as well that's something else

Cris: I think I've, I'm at the beginning of seventh. If, if eighth is the last one. And I think that's it really. I didn't, I watched the movie. I was busy this week and I didn't, I, in the midweek, I watched the football and I was out for a few days. So I can't

Dan: doesn't sound busy

Cris: with work as well. So,

Dan: Okay, I

Cris: I didn't really have time to, to watch anything else. I did. I don't know if I said this last week, I did watch the second series or the second part of the three musketeers,

Sidey: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think

Cris: I said that already, I did watch that last week and I think that's it.

I don't, I don't have anything new to add.

Dan: Okay.

Reegs: No,

no, just finished off Baby Reindeer that we'd been watching last week and catching up on Fallout, but not a lot from me either.

Dan: right? Well, we've all been.

pretty quiet

then this week with the

Reegs: I think he's looking for top five stuff from It was

Cris: The Dictators,

Reegs: yeah.

Sidey: word update.

Cris: Yeah, we had the the

Sidey: Yeah,

Cris: Yeah, all the all the good

Sidey: the

Cris: Yeah, all the good ones.

Sidey: you

Reegs: Did you have any dictators that you wanted to add, Dan?

Dan: just that loretta bobbitt

Reegs: Right.

Sidey: she bit his dick

Dan: No, she was a dictator wasn't she rather than a dictator I guess no, that's me done

Reegs: No.

Cris: Interesting take from Dan.

Sidey: Shall we get into Top 5 Seasons then?

Dan: Yes.

why not

Reegs: Snow

Dan: joke, let's do it

Sidey: Top 5 Seasons. Because Top 5 Salt would have been quite interesting. Challenging.

So, season, you can interpret in whichever way you like. Reece, do you want to go first?

Reegs: first? Oh okay let's go with

Hop.

Anyone seen that?

Sidey: Is it a kangaroo talking kangaroo film?

Reegs: No, it's about the Easter Bunny, and Easter is in spring, as far as I know. And it's a 2008 Illumination, who were the guys who did Despicable Me and those fucking moronic minions. They, it's a live action CG thing, focusing on the exploits of eb, who is Russell Brand, played by Russell Brandy's, the young rabbit who's next in line to become the world famous Easter bunny of law.

Played by Hugh. Hugh Laurie. But he'd rather make it as a big rock star, so he escapes to Hollywood to live with James Marsden. Obviously Brand is a dangerous conspiracy theory peddling rapist but the film is not a lot better, sadly. It's ugly beyond belief, joyless, charmless, and pedals really troubling stereotypes about Hispanic people.

So, when I explained this to my daughter as we were watching this it broke her little heart. She quite enjoyed it.

Dan: Oh, okay. Well, she's

Sidey: got to learn

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Over to me, I mean, I've got I've got a joke. Does February like March? No, but April may. I'll, I'll take it to the next level with The Endless Summer which is a surf film in the summer and my favorite season. Is that season summer?

Yeah. And it's got salt. In the, in the sea, if you wanted sort of an extra seasoning but that's the kind of classic surf film which we've never seen on the pod. Maybe it

Sidey: haven't done a surfing film to the

Dan: midweek, but

Cris: all so much surfers that

Dan: Surf rose.

Reegs: surf back in the day. Do you remember we used to watch Big

Sidey: Do you remember we used to

Dan: Yeah, well big wednesday riding giants, I mean there's a ton of really great, Surf films, so, maybe we'll choose one

Sidey: Maybe we'll one.

go.

Cris: The James Bond film No Time To Die.

Sidey: Yes,

Cris: Yes, I know. I have watched it, but,

Sidey: It does

Cris: it does. The this beginning of the movie, I think it has the scene with a girl running on the frozen lake and I always associated. I don't know why, because the rest of the movie is not really.

It's more like summer here. They go to Italy and it's quite nice, but the beginning of it, it always reminds me of winter and the frozen lake and ice and the mask and the body floating under the

Sidey: Yeah, she falls in

Cris: so I

it obviously the James Bond franchise goes through all the seasons and they probably invent a few seasons as well because there's so many of them.

But I, that's the first one I kind of thought about for a movie. I have a few others, but for winter and for an action movie. I did quite like that. I have another one that is highly representative of the winter because it's just all, all the action of the movie happens in the winter.

It's a movie that if no one re recommends it for the po, I will do it whenever. My turn called Sisu and I talked

Sidey: about it before. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: It's violent and full of action. For this finish, white death. Who kills everyone. The movie's placed in the second world war and this guy is a Finnish soldier turned gold digger.

And he finds a lot of gold and then he, the Nazis find him and he ends up killing a lot of people. It's really, really good. And it's all in the winter, so it's, it's very

Sidey: What about if we drill down into the winter, to the Christmas season? Mm-Hmm. . Can we have, are we allowing that? Yes. Because then we could have jingle all the way. Yeah. Which I don't think we've ever had.

Cris: I've not seen, is that a movie?

Reegs: It's Arnie.

Sidey: one of Arnie's best.

Really?

Yeah, it's about you know, every

Cris: that the one when

Reegs: one where he's Turbo Man!

Sidey: It's every year there's that one toy that everyone has to have at Christmas time, and it's Arnie's mission is to get this fucking toy. Yeah. It's as good as it sounds. Yeah.

Cris: It's not, it's not the one where he's like Captain Frozen or Mr. Frozen or

Sidey: No, that's Batman and Robin.

right. Mr. Freeze. Yeah.

Cris: Yeah. Okay.

Sidey: Back to you. Weeks'. It,

Reegs: Alright, Spring

Breakers. Did anyone ever see that? Harmony

Sidey: was thinking about nominating that one.

Reegs: It's kind of like,

Sidey: Gomez, isn't it?

Reegs: it's Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens and all these like teen stars in their sort of breakout adult role. Yeah, they play a bunch of college students who don't have quite enough money for their sort of spring break plans.

So they do like a robbery of a fast food joint and it all goes wrong. But they get bailed out of jail by a drug dealing wannabe rapper named Alien played by James Franco. It's like. Sort of if Terrence Malick did like exploitation movies, which is quite a weird sort of thing. Summer. I know what you did last summer.

Yeah, exactly. And coincidentally there was a film just like that. That was the same guy who did scream. Um,

Sidey: Dan's

Reegs: no, the screenwriter Kevin

Sidey: Oh, right. Where's Craven?

Reegs: deconstructed scream in 1997 and then followed it up with this very traditional slasher movie in

Sidey: Michelle Geller in it, isn't it?

Reegs: Yeah, it had a great cast. Ryan Phillipe, Sarah Michelle Gellar Freddie Prinze Jr.

and Jennifer Love Hewitt. So all those like 90s icons and noughties icons. yeah, yeah. It's like they accidentally run over that some guy on the way back from a beach party and instead of like, You know, giving themselves up. They dump the body in the lake and say that they're going to forget about it.

And then a year later, she starts getting messages saying, I know what you did last summer.

there you go. Bit of summer for you.

Dan: I've got legends of the fall. Because it's a nice season we did that for the pod I think it was one of our midweek mentions of a few months back. Yeah. Yeah looking most brad. I mean other than

Cris: Is that that kind of western kind of type thing?

Dan: yeah, it's an

Cris: really blonde and

Dan: it. Yeah

Cris: curtains and all that.

Yeah, I remember

Dan: other than in delma and louise, Where else he's playing sort of somebody just to fall in love with this is out He's on horseback here and riding and he looks he looks great but also jersey boys.

Have you ever seen that film? clint eastwood

Cris: No.

Dan: He directed it. It's about frankie valley in the four seasons Yeah, um and um and the story of of the four seasons, you know, and how they You

know

Sidey: stage show as well, isn't

Dan: Yeah, I think it took a tony award and all that jazz. So, yeah

Four Seasons? No the band frankie valley in the four seasons

Yeah. heard of

them. We'll

Reegs: Mm.

Cris: okay. Can't wait. If we're

talking about the summer a movie that kind of, all the action, Looks like it's summer all year round in that movie though.

It's Mad Max Fury Road.

Sidey: Mm.

Cris: Where, I know it's in the future and it's like all this dystopian future and all that, but it's very sunny. And they are struggling for water. So it could be some sub Saharan country as well, but these days, present days, I think we've all seen it and we've all been quite impressed by it.

Sidey: it. No,

Cris: No, I,

maybe,

I don't think so, but

is it still with Tom Hardy?

Sidey: No, it's it's

Cris: Eyes, just a woman Charlize

Sidey: Joy. I think as Furiosa and Chris Helmsworth as someone.

Cris: All right, so it's not Charlize Theron

Sidey: No, it's her younger like a prequel story, but it looks like it's just the same amount. You know, unbelievable action sequences looks

Cris: yeah, that is a summer that a season? Yeah And also I've got a movie called Sahara with Matthew McConaughey and he, I think it's him and Penelope Cruz and that is definitely, they, they,

Dan: Sherry! Sherry baby, Sherry!

Cris: Oh, right, okay. I never heard of that before. But yeah Sahara, Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey, and they, I can't really remember what they're doing, but they end up in a plane crash in, in Sahara. And at one point they couldn't really tell you the whole action of the movie, but at one point they find a.

boat that has been there for hundreds of years and the sand kind of crumbles and you can see a full size boat under the sand. And that also reminds me of summer.

These two I have.

Dan: Strong

Sidey: Game of Thrones starts off with winter is coming. That's wintery, isn't it? And then there's a band what I like. Well, particularly like the single Seasons by Future Islands and there's many live performances captured that you can watch on YouTube and some

he

manages to reign it in a little bit.

 Sometimes he completely loses it and just goes

Like yeah. Well, the band are just standing there just playing,

you know,

Dan: on Letterman, like that. Yeah,

Sidey: Yes, that's the one I was watching the other day.

It really is something to behold. Yeah. And the crowd was again.

Reegs: Such a good band, Future

Sidey: Yeah. And then also the one that I picked up while I was watching films with my daughter while she was off sick. It's Lord of the Rings. I'm sorry. LOTR. TFOTR. Yes. Sam takes on a the journey. Little looks like a little like jewellery box, but it's full of seasoning, which he's going to, he plans to use if they roast a chicken or something,

Reegs: I don't

Sidey: think that's the most important thing on this journey, but it's up there.

An army marches on its stomach, right? Exactly. So yeah, maybe, maybe his priorities were right.

Dan: Probably were.

Reegs: Fantastic Mr. Fox is probably my favorite Wes Anderson movie, I think, and is all autumnal has a very rich brown, yellow, red color palette and very terrific stop motion comedy.

Halloween is something that happens in autumn and Halloween three is called season of the witch.

Sidey: nice. I haven't seen it

Reegs: Completely unrelated to the Michael Myers stuff, this is the not awful but very odd story of an Irish novelty gift millionaire slash warlock who uses Halloween masks in combination with lasers and subliminal messages on TV and maybe black magic or something to unleash death and destruction across the country, so, that, I'm not joking or exaggerating, that is the literal plot of

Sidey: to think, I don't think I've even seen Halloween 2.

Reegs: Yeah, really good actually. I like Halloween too. And then there's also continuing the season thing is season of the witch. Did you ever see that? The Nick Cage one with Ron Perlman. He, they played like 14th century crusaders returning to a homeland devastated by the black plague. She's not the big twist is she's not a witch at all.

She's a demon. So season of the witch, no witch is in it. At one point Cage, he's quite a restrained cage, but he does say, we're gonna need more holy water, which is a pretty good line. Yeah. So that's autumn for you.

Dan: I've got one more then, that I'd like to mention. October Sky. On the autumn theme and that was the story of a a young jake gillinghall.

I think in this one And he wants to build rockets, but he's a coal miner's son So they can't really do that kind of thing. Good luck with that But wait a minute you can do it anyway because they've got the brains and the smarts And and so that's what they kind of Center around these

Sidey: It's not rocket science, is

Dan: it's not rocket science, but it actually is

And And that's what it's about them being really clever Despite all the odds saying that they shouldn't be and they should just get a job in a coal mine

they actually Ready to build rockets.

Have you ever seen that October

Sidey: No,

Dan: No, it's it's a young Jake Gyllenhaal

He's the main Kind of kid in it. But there's a lot of good performances and there's a

Reegs: it pre donnie darko?

Dan: Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: crumbs. I thought that was his

Dan: a child actor

Reegs: All right

Sidey: i've

Cris: Okay, I've got it's not a movie, it's a series. And I know one of us really loves this series.

And it reminds me of autumn, it's Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks is, I don't know if it's always in autumn, but it just looks like

Sidey: Yeah,

Cris: always foggy, it's always

Sidey: as in in the in the period that it's set.

It's quite a short span of time. Yeah. So,

Cris: I don't know, does that associate with

Sidey: I think it's kind of set in the Pacific Northwest. So, it just looks like it's always wet

Cris: That's what I mean, it kind of looks like there's leaves falling and it's all that, so that that came to mind because I know how much you love it,

Sidey: I do love it.

I bought a couple of Twin Peaks t shirts, I think. I

Cris: I know. So yeah, that would be one of my own and I would like to say if I wish I could say about seasons because you said about seasons as in season one, season two of any TV series.

I've never watched the second series of anything I've ever

Sidey: watched.

Dan: I know I I wanted to bring this up again while we're on

Sidey: Now Reeds

Reegs: it?

Dan: Reeds has got the look of us that we had about five minutes. So that's, that happened when you were out there.

Reegs: just say that again?

Cris: never, if I watch the season one of something, the only one I tried to watch the Top Boy. Is it Top Boy? I tried to watch the second season.

I watched maybe 45 minutes of the first episode and I was, that's it, I'm done.

Sidey: like, that's it, I'm done.

I

Cris: said, I can't What if it ends on a cliffhanger?

Sidey: What do you mean? Yeah, yeah,

Dan: Yeah, it's just that yeah, you know that you're you're if you could see riggs's face now It just what mine would have looked like it

Cris: most of the times when you watch the season one, season two is not out yet. So I watch season one and then it means I have to wait six months or however long to watch the season two. I don't have

Reegs: but not for, not for

Sidey: things that have already happened.

Yeah,

Reegs: or The Sopranos or

Cris: that I, I've never watched more. Even I, I just, it's too long.

I

Dan: Could you just say that I've never, could you say it as a sentence, I've never seen any season two.

Cris: Of any series I've ever watched in my life.

Sidey: But what obviously, we're not gonna argue the point because it is because there's no point.

But

Dan: But,

Sidey: what it it do something might not resolve itself in season one.

Cris: with that. You're

Dan: fine. That is the

Sidey: That is the most belligerent

Reegs: like a different species to me.

No,

Sidey: Well, I,

Cris: I don't, I, I'm not invested. I don't participate in this, in this, and I've never, I don't understand why even the one that I really, really enjoyed and I watched maybe Three or four episodes into the second season was this thing that used to be on Netflix. I don't know anymore because I've not looked at it.

It was about one of the Pablo Escobar's assassins. It's called alias JJ's alias jota jota in Spanish and it's a Colombian thing about one of these guys was real guy and he recently died of

Dan: Game of Thrones?

Cris: I've never watched

Sidey: it.

I don't

Dan: just No, sorry.

I just

can't

Sidey: it. Well, on

Cris: not I'm telling it's true. I'm not

Sidey: Well, let me tell you some of my favorite seasons of TV shows. Yeah, please do. The Wire season four. Oh.

Reegs: Is that the

Sidey: That's the school one. It's really good.

Reegs: Are you going for for The Sopranos?

 

Sidey: Sherlock season two is the Benedict Cumberbatch one that has the really good take on the Rickenback falls one and it ends on a fucking cliffhanger.

So, well, you wouldn't have even got to it because it's

Dan: because it's season 2. I've

Cris: never watched one episode of it.

Sidey: Strange. So, so really good opening seasons that you would be right to duck out of maybe not so much as one stranger things. Season one is great. Season two is not so good. Lost season one.

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: High concept. High concept. Really fucking good.

Really intriguing. Fucking shit, Season 2. Like, really bad. But even worse than that, it was heroes.

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: Like, immense first series.

Reegs: Brilliant, yeah.

Sidey: Just so, so good. And has the biggest drop off in quality in Season 2, if anything I can remember. Fucking absolute fucking shit. Dross. Terrible.

Any, anything else, Reese?

Reegs: for you? I've got some

Sidey: some actual seasoning ones. Oui. He, he's, he's a chef. He does quite a lot of seasoning. Yeah. Chef also John Farrow, when he is. Spinning out of control. He does a big meal on his own and he also does the pasta for Scarlett Johansson which he carefully seasons so that he can have sex with her.

Seinfeld season seven episode six is the Soup Nazi. And it's some guy who's really hardcore about how to make soup. And we see him season it. It's Jerry Seinfeld 70th birthday today.

Did you know when he was 38? He dated a 17-year-old high school girl, , which is

Reegs: when he was 38? It's half your age plus 6, we were discussing this the other day, that is the rule.

Cris: What

Sidey: the eight minimum. So that's 19. That

is you can

have 25. Yeah. So he was shit out a lot there. Um,

I've got one breaking bad. Cornered Season 4 Episode 6 when he's absolutely like starting to lose it with Skylar, he's, there's one where he's making a sandwich and he's angrily fucking seasoning it while they're having a

Reegs: I'm the one who

Sidey: his deteriorating kind of mental state and yeah, that's good.

I'm, right, let's nominate.

Dan: Come around to me.

Cris: James Bond, the, no time to die, and he dies. And it's winter.

Reegs: Halloween three season of the witch

Sidey: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, the shifting seasons kind of mirror their tumultuous relationship and emotional journey.

Dan: You mentioned it before actually. And it was one I was gonna talk about a big Wednesday.

Sidey: A Just need one more from our beloved listeners.

Reegs: Yep. Seasonal offering.

Dan: I'm

getting fed up of the blobby thing now. Yeah.

Sidey: It doesn't,

Dan: a bit like

Sidey: motivate me to

Dan: It's a bit. I know it doesn't. But it's a bit like actual blobby. You know, it was fun and it was more fun when it wound people up because they had enough of him. So

Sidey: getting a Blobby t shirt.

Dan: yeah. Okay. That's just going to keep going then. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah, it's unrelated to but still segues so very nicely into this week's main feature. Yeah. Saltburn.

Which

I'd heard a lot

about

Dan: I've heard a lot about, well, I've heard a lot about one or two scenes and the fact that young, is it Barry McGuigan?

Cris: Barry Keogh.

Dan: that's him. He was obviously in the Banshees and in Shaheen as well. And he was pretty good in that.

And he's a young actor.

not

done many films, sort of burst onto the scene and, and

Cris: He's done the killing of the sacred deer that we've done for the pod as well.

Sidey: done quite a few films and I would say he's like hot property these days. And he's in this? Yes,

Reegs: and it is directed by promising young women's Emerald Fennell. We did that on the pod as well, if you remember.

Dan: don't think

I was involved was I

Reegs: Ah, almost certainly.

Sidey: Unless you weren't.

Reegs: of a

Dan: Unless

Reegs: one as well. So I guess quickly making a name for herself as a filmmaker.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: So Dan, to set you the vibe here, we're kind of, we talked, it's kind of talented Mr. Ripley type vibes, Bridehead revisited,

Dan: only if the

Reegs: well, only if the period is 2006.

Sidey: Yeah, he's starting off at Oxford. Yeah. Looks kind of square. He's got but. He

Reegs: starts

off talking to somebody off camera explaining about his relationship with Felix. This guy Felix. And was they, the question had obviously been, did he love Felix? And he says, I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. Or something like that.

And then we flash through loads of scenes through

Sidey: the years. There's a couple of shots of him looking, like, intent at him. Yeah. And lit up because it's in a party, but he's got a, like, he looks like a fucking obsessed. He's, he's clearly, like, fixated on him and he's talking about him like he is.

Reegs: And it's in four by three format. So the closeups are very tight and it gives that kind of feeling of like Polaroid type composition very center of frame, that sort of thing.

And it will look good for the many houses and stuff that we're gonna see in that ratio later Anyway, so yeah. Then after that,

Sidey: it's him arriving at Oxford.

He's you know, a top university. He's turning up. It looks very smart. There's a few comments from people as he walks in on nice, you know, nice jacket and all

Reegs: this. Yeah, he's kind of

Sidey: whatever.

Dan: kind of overdressed

Sidey: kind of almost a side parting, but it's still a kind of like trendy side parting, but they try and dress it down.

He's got specs on and he doesn't. It doesn't connect with anyone apart from this one maths nerd it's almost like hogwarts where they he's trying to find somewhere to sit for lunch And he's like is this seat taken and fuck off and eventually he finds this one chair And this guy opposite him is like i'm reading maths.

He's like, oh, okay great. He's like ask me a sum

And he's like it's all right, and he does fucking lose ask me a fucking sum say it's just like 412 And the guy just shouts the answer out and that they they have a friendship briefly at the start

Until one day, he's cycling across the campus and this chap Felix is down his, looks like he's crashed his bike or his bike's fallen, much like yourself the other day.

And he's got a flat and he's like, I'm fucked. I need to get to so and so. I'm going to be late. Oliver, says, well, I'll tell you what, why don't you take my bike? Get to where you're going. I'm not in a rush. You know, I'll just walk to wherever I'm going. So, oh yeah, that's a mate.

You know, so these have this connection and then later on when he's in the bar.

Reegs: And immediately as well, there is something like, he's like this real posh, real ultra posh guy and

very handsome.

Yeah. And we've seen him in the background through some establishing character moments of Oliver.

So, you know, he's obviously a big presence on campus,

Sidey: He's tall, he's got, he's got a bar through his eye. Yeah.

Dan: Very trendy. Yeah.

Sidey: And he's he's looking good and Yeah, he's he's obviously one of the most popular guys on campus and when he's in a in the student bar later on He's at a big table with all these fucking wankers hanging off his every word And oliver's at the bar and he's to shout ollie ollie, you know Come over here.

Come and have a drink with us. I owe you a pint for sorting me out with the bike ollie's just in there with this fucking math nerd that he's with and he's just like hang around with him or go and see the cool guys and he just drops the mass nerd dislike No, no, I'm not really with him. I'll come and join you and that's

Dan: guns him completely

Cris: completely, yeah. That's

Reegs: merciless.

Sidey: But there's one, there's a guy called Farley, who's a real piece of shit. And I think it got to about 20 minutes. And I always said to the missus, I fucking hope this guy dies in this film because he's a fucking asshole. And he's like, he was the one who said about his outfit when he rocked up and then he's being a cunt to him at the, In this bar, they've stopped getting shots and Oliver's obviously a bit of a fish outta water.

He is not used to

drinking a

lot. Well, and so that he doesn't

Reegs: of

Sidey: he's scouts,

Dan: exotic

Reegs: out of water,

Sidey: parked made in Chelsea brigades. Yeah.

Reegs: to drinking a lot.

Sidey: But they're like, you cannot, he's like, he's pissed, and he's like, oh, I need to go.

And Fadi's like, you can't fucking leave without, you know, you're not skirting around, you've got, you know, pub rules, you've got to, and Fiat's like, look, just let him go, you know, he's, he's only just joined, you know, he's, blah, blah, blah. He's like, no, no, you fucking get around, and they sort of pressure him in, and he goes to the bar, and he's saying, he's got, you know, just see, he's got a Fiverr, a Crompidog Fiverr, and a 2P and a 5P.

BU was like, you're not even close. And he's like, oh, just do me aside. I come in tomorrow with the money, but I, you know, I can't like not buy. Yeah. And then in the end, Felix comes over and sorts him out and they, and so they, they

Cris: He's like, oh mate, you dropped this 20 or something. And

Dan: Right.

Sidey: And so they strike up this bond and, and they, they become quite close friends.

Dan: Nice

Reegs: quickly, as a viewer, you're starting to fall a little bit in love with Felix as well.

He's a pretty cool dude, he's aloofness, he's handsome, he's nice, and all that stuff as well.

Sidey: Yeah, he's obviously very well off, but he's not a dickhead about it, as we've shown, you know, what we see of him.

He's very, very friendly. To the point where they strike up this thing, Oliver tells them, find out a bit of his backstory, that he says his mother's an addict. But he doesn't explicitly say it at first, he says, oh, it's, He says he'll never go home. He'll never go back and see his mother and it's like, well, why not?

And he says, oh, you know, the place is awful. And he paints this picture of her being an addict and his father's dead.

Cris: torn. He

Reegs: his father's in jail, has been in jail, was a drug

Cris: father's dead. His father's in jail? He's

Reegs: And that's, he's there on a scholarship and all this sort of stuff,

Cris: that's he there on and all that sort of stuff. He was stoned.

Sidey: And then he gives, he says, Oh, what we do in my family tradition is we write the name on a stone, and then we toss the stone into the river. And so they do this like symbolic thing for his dad.

Dan: Ah, okay.

Reegs: notice when he threw it in it got stuck at the

side? It

Cris: he threw it in, it got stuck at the side. Yeah, so he says, well, what if he should come

Sidey: Yeah. So he says, well, you should come and stay with us for the summer. Come to Saltburn. And he is like, oh, really? Oh wow. Okay. He's, instead of going home. Yeah. 'cause he said, he said, I'm never going back

Dan: Yeah, right.

Sidey: in my student digs or

Cris: He's now, you know, his mom's an addict. His dad's dead. It's like, I don't want to go back

there.

Sidey: it's fine. We have, my mum has people over the house all the time. You know, there's always people there just come and stay with us. And so it's okay. Next thing this taxi or whatever is pulls up and you just get the shot of the house. It's not a house.

It's a

fucking

Reegs: like a massive stately mansion. It's like, you know, loads of bedrooms, sitting rooms, libraries, priceless furniture.

Like he's walking through going, Oh, that's a Rodin

Sidey: first he just approaches and he knocks on the door and it opens. There's two people, I think his job is just to open this fucking enormous, like you feel like it

Reegs: Like the royalty. Well, he's a baron. As we'll find out he's a baron.

Sidey: And, and then they had this super intimidating, Like

Cris: butler

Reegs: guy, yeah, who

Sidey: he just basically has a go at him for you know you We sent someone to collect you from the station and he said oh

Reegs: says, oh, just

Sidey: out of water.

Dan: Right, okay.

Yeah. he's an

Sidey: right?

Yeah, In the back that

Dan: it's that

Reegs: You know, Gatsby type vibes going on. And the family

Sidey: well, there's one, there's one selling point for you where you're going to be like, okay, I'm in Richard E. Grant is the old man.

Dan: Yeah. Oh, there

Sidey: thought I'd download like

Dan: Yeah. Yeah I do

Reegs: he's so James and he's like the, it's a real scenery to him.

Sidey: Well, yeah, it's great. Felix gives him a tour. So like a, almost a steadicam shot through the mansion is like, Oh, this is the, like the East gallery and you know, the blah, blah library. And this is over here and always, so we've got to share a bathroom and it's like absolutely palatial.

It's quite a key room later on. But yeah, then we start to meet the family and, and there's Kerry Mulligan is someone who's staying, she's just staying with them and she is like, The biggest space cadet and

Reegs: she's her ex boyfriend was a Russian mafia, something or other magnate.

So she's in trouble. They obviously the family surrounds themselves with various hangers on including Farley as well. Yeah.

Cris: Who is the cousin, like a distant cousin.

Reegs: So, yeah the the funny the family and all this wealth and all this stuff is like surrounded by these people that they pull In and they are absolutely ghastly rosamund

Sidey: pike

She says when she first meets him, she's, she goes, Oh, your eyes.

Oh, Oh, I was, I was worried. She's basically worried that he was going to be ugly. And she goes, I just detest ugliness. And that, that's so like opening thing that she says to him and he's just like, Oh my God, what is this? The daughter is like a kind of like messed up. Sort of it girl looking kind of, you know, she looks, she constantly looks like she's like coming around from the night before.

Do you know what I mean? She always looks like she's hung over.

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: got that disheveled party

Reegs: she's constantly smoking and Her mother hates her because she's so promiscuous, which is sort of discussed openly, but

Dan: Loads of rich kind of characters and mad family members,

Sidey: from reality. Right.

Cris: and it's also, it's also quite funny and also strange in a way, because he says I've put a shirt on for you and he's like, Oh, we dress up for dinner.

It's all, it's all this kind of protocol and all this etiquette and all that. And, and also when they speak to each other, then they never seem to say they, they say things the long way around, rather than just saying to you, you need to leave, or you have to do this. It's always the long way around. They'll try to make you understand, or they'll make a statement that doesn't really, is not addressed

Dan: all overly polite and politeness. Yeah.

Cris: Or Very

Dan: strange. What, what's the, what's the undercurrent here? What's

Reegs: Well, it's building. We'll get there.

Oliver is like constantly gaffing, basically, in these social situations. Like you say, it's always a black tie dinner, which Felix sort of, you know, bashfully, but sort of proudly introduces as well. But so he doesn't know that he's supposed to talk to the person on your right or whatever. He doesn't know how breakfast works.

He doesn't know any of this stuff, but they do start to warm to him because like you say, they do have these like projects of people. Cause she says the sister Venetia says, Oh, you're better than last year's one. So obviously someone always comes every summer for them to

Sidey: They're fascinated by the fact that he's from Liverpool. Yeah.

Dan: right.

Sidey: But even his his tutor,

Reegs: meets

Sidey: when he first,

Reegs: he says he says

Sidey: first meets his tutor, he says he says where he's from.

Reegs: no, no, I that's

Dan: Not having it.

Sidey: It's a completely alien concept that anything

Reegs: completely alien concept So they're fascinated

Sidey: But yeah, they, they, so they're fascinated by him as a kind of you know,

Dan: a curiosity. Yeah.

Sidey: it's just so detached from anything they would ever come across. So he just lives this life.

Reegs: and he starts to build a bit of time with them.

You know, a bit of a rapport even with Farley and Venetia, most notably when they all go naked in a field and bar Keo and goes out there with his dong swinging. We don't quite see it at that stage, but everybody

Sidey: else does, so

Reegs: it's impressive.

Sidey: They're impressed with his length.

Reegs: So this is really where the movie starts to go in a slightly different direction because this is later in the day.

Oliver. It's no real easy way to say this, but Felix is jerking one out in the tub

Sidey: Oliver,

Reegs: and Oliver is interested in this. He is it and then goes into watch through the sort of cracked paneling and, felix finishes and then as the water is draining out, I think Oliver goes in to do his teeth and Felix walks out and he drinks the sort of cummy bath water from the basin of the

Sidey: He tongues the plug hole and like Like the ASMR noises Yeah, they up They up the sound effects here.

So

Reegs: So the movie has played this thing like you're not really sure to what degree

Sidey: It's

been, I would say

Dan: is most weird? It's

Sidey: been a pretty slow salt burn up to this point.

Reegs: to

Sidey: You're waiting

Reegs: point. You're waiting for it. You now. Just before

Cris: it's also just before that he, he would throw a little bit of a we call them back home.

Like they'll, he'll throw a pill in the water, so he'll, he'll just throw something to Rosamund Pike. Oh, your friend, maybe she's making this story up to the dad. You're such a,

Reegs: this is what starts now. It all starts after the cum drinking.

Cris: he just kinda.

Sidey: of

Reegs: He starts to, right, when

Dan: poke the bear a

Reegs: the one who's been like the object of ridicule, you think that he's there, you maybe even think if you haven't seen this movie that something sinister is going to happen to him, you realise he's in control of the situation, so he does start planting ideas, let's get rid of Pamela, she's a hanger on, pretty quickly she's gone and then tops herself.

Farley. Oh, he's been looking at the expensive shit in the you know, and he needs a bit of money. Let's get rid of him. And that sort of, you know,

Cris: know.

He also has a little encounter with Venetia in the garden. Yes. When she's on her period.

So

Sidey: she's

Obviously, we know she's promiscuous because the mother just they just talk about it openly.

But she starts to go out in the middle of the night and just hang around so he can see her from his window. And he's, he is a real peeping toy. He's always like looking at stuff and he spots her. And I think she just sat on a chair, like just a dining chair in the garden. in the grounds I should say because it's more than a garden and he goes down to see her and he also goes down she sort of tries to play it a bit coy he's like well fuck off you're like you purposely positioning yourself outside my window and know exactly what's up and she says well yeah but really it's not the right time of the month we're doing this so he fingers her and then Puts his finger in his mouth and he's like rubbing it all up into her mouth.

And you're like, I was watching it with the message.

Dan: like,

Sidey: like, what the fuck?

Dan: And

Sidey: And then he just goes down in there. Yeah.

Dan: to? No, alright.

Sidey: And you're like, okay.

Reegs: And

Sidey: you know, he's been painted to be homosexual up to this point. I thought Oliver.

Reegs: It wasn't really clear, yeah.

Sidey: I mean, he's obviously obsessed with

Cris: calm water.

Reegs: Yeah, well, yes, that is a pretty know if that's excuse that's more a sort of nutty thing to

Sidey: But at the start he's been talking about was I in love with him. So he's like, yeah, so but he's obviously he's by he's anything. I think

Reegs: I think anything to get further ahead. And Farley has seen this happening and tells Felix about it. Who's a bit pissed off. He gets all sullen and withdrawn and all that stuff. And it's not ever quite clear whether it's. Really what he says, Oh, you know, it ruined a friendship with another mate, him getting with my sister or whether it's because actually Felix and Oliver have some kind of unrequited thing between them as well.

It's not quite clear. So it's things move on because it's coming up to Barry Keoghan's birthday and their family decide to host this lavish party, this lavish fancy dress party about it. And Oh, afterwards, there's a real poignant scene where Farley puts on some karaoke music and makes Oliver sing, what is it Rent, the Pet Shop Boys tune, which is about a gold digger, basically so, you know.

Sidey: everyone in the room, even the, or the parents who have been completely like, Just oblivious to everything they even they were like this is inappropriate.

Yeah please stop and also he's fucked farley at this point

Reegs: He's also, I've given him a handjob. I wasn't sure what

Sidey: he's on top of him

Reegs: I wasn't sure what they were doing. It's not somebody was enjoying something.

Yeah.

Cris: He's, he's done that as well.

Reegs: He's got, he's got Farley on side as well. And he's exercising power over them in one horrible scene. Really. When you think about it, the character, he's got an eating disorder. He's like, well, you will eat. And I'll tell you what you.

Sidey: It's that scene where he fucks her when he goes out and he says no you'll stay because she always leaves and everyone knows when she leaves the dinner table is to go and be sick.

Her own mother says she likes fingers down her throat for dessert and you're like fucking hell. And he says, no, you'll stay, you'll eat and you'll fucking stay because I'm telling you

Reegs: So it builds up around this party.

But just before that, this is when Felix decides on for your birthday present. I'm going to take you out, mate. Come with me. Come out and they get in the car and he's driving him and he says, if suddenly he realized that Oliver realizes where they are, they're in bed. Prescott which is where he said that he lived in and he obviously implied that it was this skaggy horrible council estate and he would have all this stuff and they start turning into this

Sidey: It's just in

Reegs: really super suburban middle class like lane the funny thing is is that he doesn't even twig at that point even amongst all because he lives such a life of luxury it's still shit to him yeah but it's like they've got massive open sprawling gardens and

Sidey: with him. He says, please don't please don't make me do it.

Reegs: don't make me do it

Sidey: And then yeah, they rock

Reegs: The twig only, the penny only drops when she opens the door.

Mum, she's like, oh Oliver, I'm so pleased to see you and gives him a hug. And he's like, oh, he's doing so well,

Sidey: mate. And

Cris: and then, but that's the thing. And then she says, your father will be so pleased to see you.

Reegs: Yeah, that's when the penny drops, at that

Dan: and

Cris: While they're in the house.

Dan: he's been bullshitting me this whole time.

Reegs: Yeah, so they stay for the most excruciating and uncomfortable,

Sidey: He tries to leave, doesn't he, and Felix says, No, no, we'll stay, we're fine. Because the mother's very upset he's not been Speaking

Dan: yeah.

Yeah.

Sidey: and he just wants to turn up literally maybe they've had a cup of tea

Reegs: fed her a load of eh? Because they're the dad's rattling off I'm so proud of you in the rowing team and you're top of your Scott class and all it like

Sidey: this is just so super. Yeah.

Reegs: He's been feeding them.

Sidey: Felix wants to hear the rest of all this So, they stay and on the way back, he said, look, we need to talk about it. We need to sort it out and he's

Reegs: He said I just wanted to be your friend I just wanted to be your friend

Sidey: arranged this super Saltburn

um Um, for his birthday. He says, look, as soon as that party's done, you're out. It's too late to cancel it because it's

Reegs: it's going to

Sidey: going to be like a thousand people there with DJs and whatever.

It's like we can't cancel it now but you're gone. Just get your stuff and go. So they go to this party.

Cris: Which is unbelievable.

It's,

Sidey: it's it's Fucking large and there's people doing drugs and all sorts and he sees Felix doing drugs

Cris: And Farley.

And

And Farley

has a go. And Farley

Sidey: and

Reegs: they sing Happy Birthday for him. And nobody even remembers what his name is. It's horrendous. Like it just all falls silent. Like,

Sidey: But then he's following Felix.

Reegs: Oh. And at this point, if you're not got it enough, he's got like devil's horns on base

Sidey: fancy dress party. And

Reegs: And he's been, you know, it's shot, he's framed in red and white, constantly pulsing on him, whereas Felix has got angel wings on, and all that sort of stuff,

Sidey: Felix has also got the attention of a young lady who he takes to the maze in the garden. And Felix follows them. They're having sexual intercourse, Felix and the lady. I know they're not married or anything. And Oliver can't have that. So he just shouts over and she's like fucking hell.

Interrupts him.

Cris: psycho. He

Sidey: it's like, come on, we need to talk about it. When you saw that, it's like, fuck off, mate. You're an absolute,

Reegs: Like I'm in the middle of

Sidey: you're a psycho.

Reegs: a psycho,

Dan: time in a place this isn't it

Sidey: You need to fucking go. And

Reegs: He says you need help, you make my blood run

Sidey: yeah, he's got a bottle, a bottle of Dom Perignon or something. Come on, let's have a drink. And he does, and they kind of cut to the morning after

Reegs: Cut to the morning and there's absolute devastation. Like when the camera shoots the lawn and all of down to the lake and it's

Sidey: the, it's like the aftermath of

Dan: Glass and brew

Sidey: or something, where it's just

Cris: it's like that robbie williams video you know like i don't remember the the song but it's like that robbie williams after the party where there's chairs in the pool and

Sidey: I wondered if they did actually just have a massive party just to get a genuine like, you know, authentic like shambles of a place and then you just hear some blood curdling scream.

Of the mom has found Felix in at the center of the maze under this minotaur statue and he's dead. He is dead.

Dan: Dead,

Reegs: dead.

And well, Richard E. Grant first goes, I think he says, You look very cold.

Sidey: You need to warm him up. Come on guys. Help me. Help me get him up We need to get him inside to warm him up and they're like no

Reegs: dead. No, he's dead. And they eventually kind of, we have this really blackly comic sequence where they have to have lunch because it's, that's what you have to go and do.

So, but also the coroner is turning up behind them to bring stuff out. So they pull the curtains, which are red across it, and it bathes the whole lunch in red. So everything that happens in this next scene where they're trying to hold this. ridiculous lunch and talk small talk whilst they're carting their dead son out is bathed in red.

She, the Venetia is just filling up a glass with like wine and it's just spilling blood red onto the table as well. At this point, Barry Keoghan Oliver has been really good at making the small talk as you might imagine now starts to shift suspicion towards Farley for a drug

Sidey: well he says farley starts to have a go at him, doesn't he and he says

Cris: Why are you still here?

Sidey: why he said he said well You were the one that brought the fucking drugs to the party

Dan: Right, in front of everyone. Yeah.

Hi Pete.

Sidey: Yeah, Rich, Rich D. Grant, is that true? Have you brought fucking drugs to the party? And it's like, yeah. Okay, well, that's Farley is now out. He's cut out.

And before Farley's

Reegs: crying. There's an amazing bit where he gets really, he shouts at him, gets really pissed off with him. He says, you're not the only person here with feelings. Nobody wants your bloody American

Sidey: feelings

But in the run up to this, Farley had had a big, Like thing where he'd had a right fucking go at Oliver about how he would always come back to Salt Bird.

This is his life, not yours. You are the imposter. I will always be part of Salt Gate. And now Oliver's made it so you are, you are fucking out. So he's gone. Then the

Dan: What about the girl in the maze with Felix, is she?

Reegs: Oh, she, she was, she ran

Cris: ran away

Sidey: was totally,

Dan: not a witness.

Reegs: So they have the funeral for

Sidey: Yeah pouring rain all, everyone's very sad and then we have the aftermath where Venetia, that's the daughter she's struggling

Reegs: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, when does it, we have his funeral, I don't want to miss a scene.

It's yeah. so

Felix, Felix dies.

Sidey: been pouring down, it's all, the family all there, all the family leave.

Dan: Why?

Sidey: And something happens

Reegs: Oliver is, is so, is very overcome with his grief. He, he, it's a rudimentary cross that they have. They haven't got a headstone obviously because the grave is very fresh. And so he hugs the the, the grave thing first and then starts to take his clothes

Sidey: It just takes his shirt off

Reegs: takes his shirt

Sidey: and lies on the grave and he's just sobbing. He's really

Reegs: At first it feels

actually

quite authentic as a portrayal of grief in the rain that he's trying to get close to him.

But then he unbuttons his trousers and starts to fuck the ground, basically.

Sidey: Literally. Yeah, I mean, you see his dicks fall down and he fucks the grave.

Dan: Wow.

Yeah.

Cris: I mean,

Sidey: haven't seen a scene like that before.

Cris: I haven't seen a scene like that before. So,

Sidey: Yeah, and then we get the aftermath that we have of the family but specifically it goes to venetia his sister and the scene where

Cris: She's in the bathtub,

Sidey: struggling and she's in the bathtub and she's like, you know devastating and blah

blah

Reegs: she's in the bathtub and she's like, you know, it's devastating and blah, blah, blah. He places a razor on the side of

Sidey: of the bar.

Oh, that's

Reegs: oh, that's in the, the,

Sidey: film.

Reegs: he walks

Sidey: He walks off, yeah. like nose eyes up and her blood is just full of blood at the bath is full of blood she's

Dan: just enabled that as well.

Sidey: we don't know

Reegs: quite know that yet, although, Hmm.

Sidey: i think the father just dies off camera

Reegs: Well, first of all, he pays off. He, this is, is finely enough, right? He's lost. Rafali's gone, but he's been kicked out. Felix is dead. Venetia's dead. How much money do you want?

I want you to leave. I'm taking this out of my wife's hand. He finally shows that he's at least switched

Cris: Because the wife really hasn't got anyone else and she kind of just clings on to him

Reegs: Oliver has her completely wrapped around his

Sidey: He, he says she's really beautiful and 'cause she, we know from the start when she says, I just detest ugliness, that's like, she's latched onto that.

So she really likes that. He finds her

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: And

Dan: And so she wants him around father's seen it and wants to

Reegs: he gives

Sidey: but he says, no, I can't. I can't leave. I have to stay. And he's like, what?

Reegs: So eventually he does give him some money and he does, he does go and we cut to 15 years later, pretty much. And Oliver is long left salt burn. We see him, it's supposed to be 15 years later, but he just looks exactly the same,

Sidey: hair's slightly different.

Reegs: He reads in a newspaper that Richard E. Grant has died.

Cris: He looks much more smart, I think.

Reegs: Yeah. He's wearing a shirt. The

Cris: appearance is more, like, of a better position in society, I

Dan: a more learned

Cris: And he's just in a cafe reading the paper, like a posh kind of guy.

Reegs: Elspeth is actually getting a coffee and she suddenly spots him in the mirror behind, there's loads of shots of mirrors and reflections and stuff in this, as you might imagine and sees him, oh, brilliant, I can't wait to see you.

And it's not long before that catch up, she invites him back to Saltburn.

And this is when we get the reveal, isn't it? Cause then we cut to show that even like, it shows that the the. short story that he was supposedly working on was gibberish that he was typing in the coffee shop he'd set up this big gambit that he was waiting for her and it cuts back to show that he had it's sort of done as a reveal but you already i mean he's already slurped cum out the bathtub and fucking you know like

Dan: he's worked, he's engineered a way back into,

Reegs: did felix's bike right at the beginning he set up farley it reveals a load of information that you absolutely already know at this point that he's an absolute

Dan: it is confirmation

And

Reegs: it comes through to reveal that who he was talking to at the beginning was actually Elspeth as she lies dying in bed, she's terminally ill, and he's removing her feeding tube in a move that

Sidey: I thought it was gonna be so much weirder. 'cause he climbs on top of her and he almost, you think he's gonna put his hand up between her legs? Well that's 'cause it's been so fucked up, up to

Cris: Yeah, I thought

Sidey: thought, I thought, I thought he was going, oh my God, he's gonna like fucking do some necrophilia shit.

Reegs: He did everything, basically. He killed, he,

Sidey: it, it goes right back to the bicycle. And he had, he had punctured the tire.

Dan: So he'd set it all up

Reegs: Right from the

Sidey: day zero.

Reegs: drugged he did it with the Dom Perignon bottle in the maze. He killed Felix, he killed Venetia with Suggestion and the razor

Sidey: for her.

Reegs: that stuff. And he's going to do it and he is going to, in fact, win because she's going to die. And then murder in the dance floor is

Sidey: It's great. So we get back to Saltburn and the opening bars of the song start to play and I don't remember if it's immediately you see It's great. But then you do see, as the song should play, he's fucking bollock naked and he just does this dance routine

Cris: through, through the

Reegs: three and a half minutes of the manor is

Sidey: Just him swinging around, dick just flying around everywhere, impressive length. I don't know if it's

Cris: A

Sidey: stunt cock or the real McCoy, but it's in great nick.

Dan: Okay.

Reegs: Mm, and the end.

Cris: he does tell the butler that I win.

Reegs: Yeah. He

Cris: He

Dan: So, so what? He's been left the house or

Cris: Yes,

Reegs: well there's nobody left alive really, is there? I

Dan: but how does he get his way in the, in the will?

Because

Reegs: they showed it at one point.

Dan: They, he's just wormed his way down there. I

Reegs: where were the police, Dan? If that's the key, you know, like

Sidey: poison one they, they sort of, you know, okay, drugs. She, the daughter had killed herself.

The old man had died somehow. She was terminally ill. But. She was in care, and he takes her fucking tube out. I mean, when they went in to see that she was dead, they were like, Hang on, her fucking feeding tube's out. Like, that one just seemed completely reckless to me.

Reegs: But yeah, it's, it's not that kind of movie. It's deeply, deeply silly. I did like this. It's really gorgeous to look at it. The cinematographer is Linus Sangren. He did First Man that we watched recently and it is composed. Although some of the imagery is very on the nose sometimes, but I think that's part of the point.

It was very funny at points. There's great needle drops of tunes that you really

Dan: Dark

Reegs: is a very silly, movie and veers a little bit towards edgelord and it's like wanting to be transgressive and crazy and all that stuff. The most disappointing thing is that a movie that made in 2023 about class and ultra wealthy has nothing at all to say about them.

And, and, you know,

Sidey: they're idiots

Reegs: yeah, they're not very nice and, you know, people are attracted to wealth and it makes them do stuff. I, pfft,

Dan: And, and you say about the police, you know, I mean, yeah, of course they would get involved, but you can imagine a world where you just have that much money that, you know, things like that don't, don't, don't work. Get looked at too badly because they don't want the scandal. Reminds me of a little bit of the theme anyway of kind hearts and coronets where he he just kind of Starts cutting through the the beth queen family or whatever it is.

So he can become

Sidey: It really was like the talking point 2023 and and and everyone there was obviously because of the content is So fucking shocking at times. Not the murdering but all the fucking weird shit he does you

kind of you couldn't help but well i'd i'd heard about one or two of the things i knew about the grave bit because the people were making

Reegs: Me, me, me, me, me, me.

Sidey: So you're kind of waiting for that and it's it's over two hours and I did really enjoy it, but it takes fucking ages to get to all that stuff

Reegs: It doesn't stick the landing at all as well. It's the, the end is like edited as if it's a twist. But by that point, like I say, you've already seen him doing weird shit and there's, everything is very over explained.

There's no ambiguity, which I think would've been a bit more interesting.

I did enjoy it

Sidey: I was alright with the ending because it was just interesting to see how he had done it because you knew like he was doing it. I mean, Scouse for a start. So,

Cris: So he's definitely guilty, but

Sidey: yeah, but no, I enjoyed it.

It'd be just too long to actually get to the stuff I wanted to see. You've, you've got a minute.

Cris: I loved it. The only thing is I wouldn't, I watched it a couple of months ago, maybe three months ago. I didn't watch it this time again. I knew I remembered everything. That was the

Sidey: yeah, you're not going to forget this one in

Cris: That's the thing. And it's one of them that I watch it maybe in a year, in a year's time and see it with different eyes.

But so soon. To watch all that weirdness again, it's not really. I did enjoy it. I didn't enjoy the color. I do. I did find it a bit funny that at Saltburn in the summer, it was every day was sunny, sunbathing pool like this until someone died. And it was all just bleak and dark and whatever wet.

Reegs: Yeah, but that

Cris: I do get it.

I understand why they did it like that. But I, I, I just thought it was more disturbing than silly.

Sidey: I

Cris: the silly part. I just thought it was weird.

Sidey: I really like Barry

Reegs: Yeah,

Cris: yeah,

Dan: He's an interesting

Reegs: do a role now though that isn't like,

Cris: a widow, Yeah,

Reegs: Because we've had a few of those.

Sidey: I was looking at his hair quite a lot and thinking I could Maybe get my head do like that.

Reegs: you think so that wave that he's got a kind of wavy thing

Sidey: It's like a longer no gallagher haircut. I

Reegs: It's good because when he's like he's the nerd at the beginning and then he starts to dress a bit more like Felix but he can't quite do it. He was the revelation for me. I'd never seen him in anything.

Jacob Elordi. Do you know

Dan: No.

Cris: Is his actual name? Because I don't Elordi,

Jacob

Elordi, okay. I've never seen him before, he's a very handsome man though.

Reegs: He was very good in this.

Sidey: You see him quite a lot with his top off. We've been teased with Dick quite a lot recently. We got good Dick content this week. 10 out

Cris: Full frontal, full back and

Dan: in

Cris: frontal male

Sidey: 10 for Dick.

Dan: you know what I think when i've seen it,

Cris: Okay. Long recommend.

Dan: Let's do kids.

TV.

Sidey: It's not like I would say strictly speaking kids fodder, but it is, but it is age seven plus,

Cris: it

Sidey: it is like, it's a, it's a cookery program

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: slash

Dan: what did you, what did you choose?

Sidey: salt, fat, acid, heat, and episode two is the salt one. I've watched them

Dan: all. It's a cooking show

Sidey: I knew that this existed, that's

Dan: Kids' cooking show.

Sidey: No, it's not for

kids.

Reegs: I tell you what, I learned one thing from watching this which was put more salt in

Sidey: Put, put all the salt you ever owned in everything. I've

Cris: seen anyone like it. This is, I don't know how this woman is still alive.

Reegs: The salt content was off the charts.

It's

Sidey: basically, like, 95 percent of this is in Japan.

Because they do a lot of salty stuff. So she learns about making salt and miso. And I couldn't help but think every time they said it miso sorry soup and something else soy, soy sauce. And then it will like, you know, like go back to the chef cooking in their own kitchen. So she gets some short ribs and she's like, right, you got to season them overnight.

And honestly, she gets a short rib and she goes,

Turns it.

Reegs: it and,

Cris: it's

Sidey: And you're like, what? And she goes, don't worry because, you know, then we're going to marinate and all this, we're going to rinse it.

Cris: spend any money on salt.

Reegs: But they were talking about the different types of salt as well, the different flavour, the sizes of crystals and the intensity of the flavour and all that

Dan: Well, it all, it all

Sidey: stuff.

So we should say that a friend of the has a salt

company over here, Jazzy Sea

Salt. So we're probably not like complete salt novices ourselves. No,

Dan: it well I wouldn't say we're

Cris: I'm wrong.

Dan: finest quality mineral salt. Yeah.

Reegs: He could learn something from these guys, because they do that, but they do it with a bit of seaweed as well. I was like, why are we

Sidey: so we've got a seaweed

Reegs: Yeah.

Why are we not making it into

Sidey: making it into salt? And they were saying that the, in the Japanese version, they are, their climate is not hot enough. to evaporate it in the way that Josie Seesaw would do it in a polytunnel. So they, they farm seaweed, harvest it, and they put it on a table.

Within a day, it's dried and kind of changed. Then they, they mix it with concentrated

Reegs: a teabag!

Sidey: They, yeah, they put it

Cris: teabag in a cauldron with concentrated seawater, and then

Sidey: teabag in a cauldron with concentrated seawater, and then they just cook it down till all It was

Reegs: It was 15 tons of seaweed to one kilo of

Cris: other way around.

Sidey: Sea water.

Cris: Yeah, seawater.

Yeah.

15 tons of seawater to one

Dan: But they, they do do something with, I think is it pepperdulse is the type of seaweed?

So they, they do a kind of seaweed salt infusion and they

Sidey: I was thinking though, if you, because it's that green filth, sea lettuce that we get,

Dan: Yeah, I

Cris: don't think that's good for you to eat though. It's

Sidey: I was thinking, if you took it like the teabag thing that they do, and use that to Get some seesaw you would end up with green because they have like a there was like a brownie color because they I was Thinking you'd have green that would be your unique selling point like walter white's blue crystal meth You would have green salt crystals And then we could like completely fall out of sways

Reegs: All right, well don't put this, don't put this on the air. People are listening. Patent pending.

Cris: but anyway, this lady, what is her name? This woman? Sammy Yes, Sammy, she goes to Japan, discovers all these methods. After we get the seaweed and the salt in, in a certain island, we go to another island in Japan where they make miso. Soya bean mashed up and it, we find, they mix it with some yeast and loads of salt, obviously, and they leave it to,

Sidey: two, three years sometimes. Yeah. After

Cris: three years to get this miso.

And then we go to another island in Japan and we get to see basically these ladies wandering around and she goes to these other guys that make soya sauce.

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: And it's, I have to say, this is where I thought I've wasted 35 minutes of my life.

Sidey: Well, I found it

Reegs: Why? Why?

Cris: I don't understand the passion for soy sauce that much.

Sidey: No, I love that. I love that. There's someone so niche that they would

Cris: I just don't get it. Oh, we've ordered this barrel. No one ordered since the second World War and now we've ordered, we need to keep it alive.

Sidey: Yeah, I like that.

The custodian of the tradition.

Reegs: What? What? What? in. Babe, why would, why should it bother you if you're not?

Cris: I just, I don't

Dan: into that. Are

Reegs: Is it

Sidey: The problem is is that it's obviously amazing and when you taste it as you know, an experienced chef's like this is like revelated to me. I've never you would never be able to get hold of that stuff. You just would never because it's small batch. It's probably not leaving Japan. You're never getting it.

So, it's like, you're like, oh, it looks amazing and I like that someone's doing it but I'll never get to have it. Anyway. She cooks loads of stuff.

Reegs: cooks loads of stuff. I've written nom, nom six times in my notes.

Sidey: makes She's gonna boil something and she puts in, honestly, like about a ton of salt. And she

Reegs: green

Sidey: she goes, Don't worry, because you have to remember that most of this is gonna go down the drain.

You're like, That is, honestly, your arteries must be completely clogged.

Reegs: She tastes, she goes, you know when it's ready, when you do this, when you taste the

Sidey: No, it's

Reegs: grimaces, like

Dan: When your face contorts

Reegs: Put

Sidey: really liked, I thought that the content was, it's Quite nice, obviously, like it's a, it's a 45 minute program about salt. But the point is it's supposed to be about, you know, how do you elevate your cooking and all that? I thought the content of it was actually really interesting. I was really intrigued by it.

The problem I have with it is that I, she seems like a really nice lady and a really good cook. Cook, but I don't think that she is, has enough about her to be the, the host of a, of a

Cris: and also, the quantity of salt.

They could have done it a lot more interesting than what it

Dan: have dug that poor girl out right here on on that

Cris: I totally agree.

Dan: two of you poor girl. She's she's she's giving it her best.

She's on

Sidey: Well, I can tell you

Reegs: and patronising.

Dan: her passion

Sidey: been renewed for season two. Not that it would matter to Chris 'cause he fucking wouldn't watch it.

Reegs: it, yeah.

Cris: I'm not going to watch any of the other episodes.

Sidey: I've watched them all, this is the best one.

Reegs: liked it. She goes and buys a bag of fish sperm sacks at one point.

Sidey: Yeah, it's just the classic, go to the Japanese fish market and all that. The one thing, I would pan Netflix for a lot of things, but one thing it does do is cook re shows really well, I would say.

Dan: but one thing it does do is cook re

Reegs: Put more salt.

Dan: I would say. I mean, we've got some sweets

Sidey: I mean, we've got some sweets here, but none of it has salt on it. So I think we need to go and get

Dan: and get some salt.

Sidey: salt and snacks. I'd say this was a, Strongly recommend, would be better with I don't know.

Reegs: Someone else.

Sidey: someone else hosting it. That does feel harsh, because she does seem like a very nice

Dan: yeah, I'm sure, yeah.

Reegs: I thought it was pretty

Dan: Well, she's probably

Reegs: And I really would also like to go to japan

Sidey: Also.

Dan: let's all go to Japan and No. Tomorrow. Just wait.

Sidey: Yeah. Strong recommend,

Dan: are we doing films next week and so somebody has a choice they could share

Sidey: Simon isn't, 'cause he's not here.

Dan: Simon

Where are you going?

Reegs: going?

Bruce?

I am going to see Bruce Springsteen!

Dan: What the boss, okay nice, where's that happening?

Reegs: That's happening in Cardiff.

Dan: he's not coming to your place or anything. No. All right

Cris: For the bank holiday.

Sidey: sixty thousand

Dan: Yeah, no

Sidey: maybe but not sixty.

limit. So, are you coming? Are you coming?

Cris: Yes, yeah.

Dan: Okay,

Cris: available. I don't know what's happening, but I'm available.

Dan: we're gonna do some film choices.

Sidey: We need film choices. We

Dan: do a film choice and then a kid's thing mix it up

Sidey: Are you gonna watch any of it?

Dan: Wow, you know if I I guess

Reegs: If you remember you do the

Dan: Yeah, I'll try and remember I do a podcast

Sidey: in that case. Yes. Let's do that.

all that remains is to say society signing out

Reegs: Reegs has left the building.

Dan: Dan's gone