Midweek Mention... The Vault

The Vault

Reegs: The

Cris: midweek. The

Sidey: The vault midweek, okay. The

Dan: The vault's the midweek?

Cris: The vault, yes, The vault.

The vault.

Dan: Revolt.

Sidey: Revolting.

Cris: Yeah, the vault, eh?

Sidey: The vault.

Cris: Which is I don't know. The same vault. Yeah, have you seen that? It's, I didn't actually know that. It's, they, they thank the Spanish government. So it's a bit

Sidey: that. Okay.

Reegs: So it's a bit of a Spanish week really, a sort of Spanish y Yeah,

Sidey: movies at least

Cris: the, the, yeah, the, the, well the, some of the storyline, well most of the storyline in this one happens in Spain.

But it doesn't start in Spain.

Reegs: No.

Cris: It starts in, I think, Spanish waters though.

Reegs: 25 miles off the Spanish coast, so yeah, maybe that's Spanish waters There's a treasure chest or a coin coffer that says sick parvis magna.

You see as it falls Down greatness from small beginnings and then we meet it was it there's James. He's like a daring underwater salvage operator guy you see him doing some

like

Cris: he's the diver basically. And yeah.

Reegs: Yeah, and there's Liam Cunningham from Game of Thrones looking concerned up above,

Sidey: he's sort of uh, okay with the Riskiness.

Yeah. His mate, the, the other guy on the boat ship. I don't forget how you determine which is which. He's, he's like, no, we've gotta get them up. Yeah. You know, out of there. It's dangerous. And James does a sort of free dive. Very, very rogue.

Reegs: That's

Dan: Riley. He was in Control, wasn't he?

He

Sidey: was also in,

remember?

Was it one stage the worst

Reegs: Oh yeah,

Sidey: we'd ever seen on the pod?

Reegs: Yeah,

Dan: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember yeah, he was the the protagonist in that but he was in I remember him from

Sidey: yeah, He was. He was very good in that. Which

Dan: was a good role for

Sidey: he, anyway, he, he does, he free dives through this little crack.

Yeah. Claustrophobia. A hoy. And he does retrieve the thing.

Reegs: He retrieves the coffer thing. They come back up and they're suddenly surrounded by the Spanish customs. And they're hauled off to Le Hague where they have their salvage, their treasure kind of confiscated, taken away from them by some snooty English barristers. Yeah. And they have the treasure or whatever it was, I don't, do we know what it is

at

Cris: don't, do we know what it

Reegs: Yeah. From,

Cris: point?

Drinking vessels and shit like that, like, artifacts. But you don't really know what the deal is, and then

Sidey: just looks like a lot of gold doesn't it?

Cris: Yeah, just

Reegs: just gets placed anyway in this like vault under the watchful eye of some fierce looking dude. And then we cut to Tom, an engineering boy genius at Cambridge University. And we know he's a boy genius because they tell us every five minutes throughout the fucking movie how

Sidey: he's played one in another show as well

Dan: played one in another show as well.

He played the good doctor, didn't he? And yeah, he's he's being very much courted by oil and gas companies who all want him to be able to invest His mind into their ideas

Reegs: He caught money, he caught their eye through some like environmental cleanup

Dan: Well, his dad works there as well

Reegs: that he'd invented. But they, they're all being a bit cynical. I thought there was gonna be this like little environmental

thing, but he's just kind of bored more than anything.

Dan: kind of a matt damon on them in goodwill hunting doesn't he They

Sidey: Helping us with the cleanup when he says no

helping helping the people. Yeah.

Reegs: And he's already presented this, he's got this plan about what he wants to do with water wells or something, I don't know, anyway.

He

Dan: could sort of bring water to the Sahara, but they,

Cris: They were like, oh, this is not part of our

Dan: There's no money in that. Yeah, for them. But We know now that he is a smart kid and much in demand.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: And he, he then has dinner with his dad. And during this dinner, his dad's giving her a beer. Bit of a telling off and saying, look, I've set up all these interviews, all these people want you, you've got to make a decision and he's saying, well, dad, do I really, I don't want to turn up the same as you and then he gets like a mysterious message on his phone which leads him to leave in the restaurant

Cris: as his food just got to

Reegs: Yeah,

Dan: yeah.

He wasn't really, yeah, he wasn't really having like a great meal with his

dad. His dad was kind of questioning him too much and he, he makes this excuse and he ends up then going off with a beautiful girl who takes his coat in this, with a flyer that he's been

Reegs: They're at an art

Dan: and they're an art exhibit.

So he, he makes his way down there and he, he eventually meets Liam Cunningham Cunningham, Walter. Who, yeah, who explains why he should listen to him because he sussed him out. This guy doesn't want money. He wants adventure. He wants something more than,

Reegs: Yeah, he's

Dan: the easy

Reegs: wealthy himself.

Dan: Yeah, he wants something impossible and they tempt him in with the, the thought of joining a little bit of adventure.

And they do this quite cleverly, actually, because, first of all, to see, to test him, she steals a wallet while he's there and looking. And.

She sort of says, well, what are you going to do about it? You know, you could give him back the wallet if you like, and, you know, or you can come with me. So she's already getting a little yes out of him and just sizing him up.

Is this the kind of character who would do a little crime and maybe then a bigger crime? Cause if he gives the wallet straight back, he's not our character, you know, because they're going to ask him to do a lot more than steal a

Cris: know, because they're going to ask him to do a lot more than steal a wallet.

Which for him, it kind of

Dan: is, kind of

Cris: then he just calls his dad, listen, I'm going to be away for a few days. And then shows up in Madrid where Lorraine waits for him.

Dan: Yeah, and he, he goes in and meets the team and the team are made up of an IT guy, a guy that can get anything.

Reegs: Sam Riley, who's there,

Dan: who's the right hand man

Reegs: learn he's ex Special Forces, British Special Forces, because Liam Cunningham's got a connection with Famke Janssen, is it?

Playing an MI6 kind of, mogul

Sidey: Margaret.

Reegs: Margaret, yeah, she's also sort of orchestrating

Dan: and they've all got their reasons for being there. Sam's his loyalty because he's best friends and the right hand man of Walter. You've got Klaus, who's the IT guy who's needs to, you know, he's created this program to.

Go into the bank, but until they can get a number off somebody

Reegs: This was the best bit of the movie, this like middle section, when they start getting everybody together and you start getting the, like how they have to kind of.

Sidey: MacGyver it,

Cris: yeah.

Reegs: They've got to go into the bank before, into the vault before, like, into the bank before they go in. So they have to, like, MacGuffin their way in and she's got the She's got this, she goes in under the auspices of, like, checking the painting or whatever. And she's got this tool

Sidey: she's

like a UV light or a scanner sort of thing to check the,

Reegs: it's like Mission Impossible stuff where they get into the cameras and loop stuff so she can go off and all that.

This bit was pretty

Dan: pretty cool. Of course Tom has had to prove his genius, which is already, as you said, we've been talked about on each and every moment they get to call him a genius. They will do his idea to get the code is very simple. It's just call up an employee and ask him to, to fill in there, you know,

Cris: Yeah.

Dan: to be an automated.

Cris: who's on a day off and tell them this is an automated message. Put your code in and you listen to the message and they get the code and they're in.

Sidey: But there's part of that bit you were talking about Reeves. It is also to do a scan of the vault itself. and they've got a

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: MacGuffin. That. What's his fucking name? Tom has to use. He's

Reegs: It's THOM as

Sidey: yeah, he's apparently used one of these before knows how to use one of these.

So

he has to go into what turns out to be their boardroom. Yeah. And the bit where he has to scan is directly underneath their boardroom table, at which point hilarity ensues as all the board members come in

Reegs: I thought it was going to be like in Police Academy, and he was going to have to suck one of the guys off

under

Cris: suck one of the

Sidey: And so.

Reegs: go like that.

Sidey: They're all sat around the table while he is underneath undertaking this scan.

Reegs: You would know if somebody was operating a machine under the boardroom table. I've been, yeah,

Dan: You, you would think so, but this lot weren't the sharpest tools in the shed, they didn't.

And before they can rumble him, an alarm goes off that means that everybody has to leave

Cris: Well, no, he triggers the alarm.

Reegs: triggers the

Dan: alarm. Yeah. And that, that's, yeah, there's a bit of

Sidey: Yeah, there's a bit of drama about him getting out

but they do all get

Reegs: all this

Cris: also the, the, the sorry side, but the, I think for me, one of the best parts of the movie was the fact that it was timed within the 2010 football world cup. Yeah. So it was in quarter finals. Spain won the world cup in 2010 in South Africa. So it was in the quarter finals. This is off the Plaza de Cibeles, where all the Spanish watch the, or the Real Madrid when they win the league or they win the champion or they win a trophy.

That's what they celebrate. It's like this big square in Madrid and the, the,

Reegs: they get some great drone shots of the crowd

Cris: bank of Spain is situated right there and opposite it is this army headquarters or something like that. So it's quite a cool scene where they come in and they're dressed as

Sidey: Yeah, he gets out and they get to review the scan and there's something in the scan that they at first can't figure out what it is, some blurred section.

It's like a 3D scan shows you everything, but there's a, and the twigs is like, fuck, it's, it's sitting like underwater. It's under a big fucking tank of water.

Reegs: But they still haven't really worked, worked out. He guesses, doesn't he? From the water, that it's a weight and it's a set of scales. Because what they do know is that the technology that underpins this is quite old.

It's like

Sidey: 70 years old. Yeah

Reegs: So they know it's nothing like,

Dan: Nothing to do with lasers or anything like that.

They would have had to use something a lot more

Goonish shit And,

Reegs: He sussed it

out. It's the scale, but then he hasn't worked out. How to unbalance it

Sidey: Yeah and

Reegs: that. And so this is where he goes off on a little bit of self pity and they start to build a little romantic subplot where she's like, you can do it boy genius.

And he does.

Cris: where they had no chemistry.

Reegs: I know it's terrible.

Sidey: There

Cris: no Or, you know, the whole movie, you think, Oh yeah, they're gonna Oh yeah, he fancies her, but he's like

Sidey: I get that he would fancy her, but not the fucking other way

Cris: Or, or, but yeah, it's, that's what I mean. It's like, like a, like a little robot would fancy an actual

Dan: can we start ripping holes in this film all the way through now

Sidey: No,

Cris: no. I'm just saying that that's, that's one thing that

Dan: i'm ready is what i'm saying

Cris: right.

Sidey: Well

Reegs: So, anyway, right, they do have that

Sidey: There's various bits of drama about what something crops up that They can't do it and something else crops up that they can't do it And then the authorities in the bank get wind that someone is trying to fucking nick their stuff so They're just watching, you know, the whole time.

Dan: Well, it's one guy, isn't it? It's one guy

Sidey: got a B in his bonnet. But they, they'd original plan was to go from the rooftop and then they d they discounted that because there's too much CCTV and blah, blah, blah. But then because the football is going on all they, they say that all of the CCTV will be pointed at the crowds.

And so that becomes back on. It's

Dan: So simple.

Reegs: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they can go in there, but then this just made fucking no sense.

He's like, I'm going to risk my life along your alongside yours. So now they've got a babysit him on this time critical mission when one guy's X special forces and he could just go alone. Like, but as it turns out anyway so yeah, they do have to babysit him

Sidey: So it's

Reegs: there's a load of tense stuff.

Sidey: sort of like a booby trap, right? So if you get caught in the vault, it will kill you, it will drown you.

Reegs: you.

Dan: yeah,

Sidey: please,

that's

Dan: it. So as soon as, as soon as somebody goes in there, it upsets the scales doors, close water, floods

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: anybody inside is fucked.

That's

Reegs: how it is. It

Cris: and he finds out that he sees the guy cooling glasses with nitrogen in a bar when him and Elaine or Lorraine are out

Dan: when he's out of ideas because he's been given

Reegs: ideas for a long time. Yeah, he has to freeze it, like

Cris: it. Yes, yeah,

Reegs: it.

Cris: Carlos or whatever, Spanish. He's

Reegs: He's great though, that actor's in both the movies that we watched this week. What is his name? He was really good,

Cris: Great moustache though.

Sidey: a lot

Cris: a lot of hair content but a great tash.

Sidey: Luis Tossa.

Reegs: Louis Tosser . He he

Cris: He's good.

Reegs: he has to freeze the mechanism with 500 liters, I think

Cris: Liquid nitrogen.

Reegs: nitrogen as they go in. And then wouldn't you fucking believe it? Just at the crucial moment when everything's looking fine. The James turns out to be a turncoat.

Sidey: Yeah,

Cris: He's still in service.

People like him never retire.

That's right.

Dan: He

hasn't really given up queen and country and ex special forces. Yeah. He's still going and no doubt.

Now. Yeah. Con connected to, to the same lady. Walter was connected too, but she's got him doing it just to make sure to have a couple

Sidey: I mean, along the way, they've tried to put in some bits to, you know, ratchet up the tension, like the water does come into the vault and Sam Riley has to fucking swim off and you think, well, this is before we know he's a,

Dan: a There's a nice bit also

Sidey: trapped.

There's no fucking like.

There's No. stakes because you couldn't give a fuck about anyone in it.

Cris: either.

Dan: there's,

Reegs: I was hoping they all died. I was hoping

Dan: where, where they, where they talk about having their regrets and it's something they would do before going on the

Sidey: yeah.

Dan: Luis Tosa. He's talking about I regret my dad's not here to he's got a radio isn't he?

He's got a radio that

Sidey: you know,

Dan: radio. He's listening to all the football. It helps him kind of connect with various guards and things on the way because they'll be talking about football the latest and it helps smooth the doors through and it also becomes important as

Reegs: the

Dan: The X, the extra bit of weight.

That he needed to counterbalance the scales

Sidey: It's the fucking radio, which weighs about 10 grams,

Reegs: It's enough though.

Dan: difference.

Sidey: thank God.

Dan: was that that broke the camel's back.

Sidey: So they get it, they get the stuff out, and he's Liam Cunningham's able to, in amongst all of this, do a switcheroo.

Reegs: have

Sidey: I've no fucking idea, but I was nearly asleep, I couldn't be bothered to try and figure it out. So that when they scan the treasure to find out where the next buried treasure is, it's under the Eiffel Tower,

Dan: Well, they know. So, what they what they've got is he goes to buy three identical coins. He gets them engraved and then he gives them to Lorraine who he knows James is going to stitch him up. So, she's got another set ready to give him at that moment which is when they did the the switcheroo. Thankfully, this is quite close to the end they get as you say back to Blighty think that they've won the baddies James and and the coins and they realize no, they're hidden under the Eiffel Tower, which is relevant because it's where she said that she's been a few times and

Cris: climbed the eiffel tower how many

Dan: she knows now it's a piss take and he's he's Taken the real coins and done off with

Cris: and then they show them in san trope.

Dan: yeah, you see him around the pool and everything.

Sidey: Are they now, like, an item? Tom and

Dan: I I wouldn't like to think so, but maybe

Sidey: Well, when they were about to die they held hands and they kiss, they do kiss. And you're just thinking

Dan: let's not even really think about it because we're going into the olympics. Two years later where the the real

Cris: the coins tell you where the treasure is and the treasure

Dan: hidden the bank of london

Cris: of England.

Reegs: For a sequel I hope never happens.

Dan: a sequel that should never happen because this shouldn't have happened I have to I really struggled with tom the entire way through it.

Sidey: Right, so his, the geezer's name is Freddie Highmore. Now I'm sure he is a talented chap. But I haven't seen that on the screen. He's really wooden in this. I mean, it's Ocean's Eleven without any of the charisma. I mean, there's nothing

Dan: He was like he was channeling his in a good doctor or something, you know where he plays

Reegs: Howser, if he was a good doctor.

Dan: I Think he's yeah, it

Sidey: But Liam Cunningham, right? He's supposed to be the George Clooney. This, I mean, come on.

Reegs: He's trying to bring some charisma, isn't he? He's

Dan: the old

Reegs: but

Sidey: good in Game of Thrones.

Reegs: so like painfully generic and formulaic and like

Dan: thought the old actors the older actors were better.

I thought they got but they had nothing to do it was just like there was Oh God, none of the science worked. None of the, the, the, the, you just could pull holes and put holes all the way through it

Reegs: But Liam Cunningham on a rooftop looking really moody while the World Cup plays be behind him and as he gets an idea for how he can do the

Sidey: thought he was thinking about England should have won this

Dan: It's

Reegs: 10 seconds.

Dan: yeah,

Reegs: No, he's Irish. Surely Liam car.

Sidey: True.

Dan: not worth tuning in for that moment though, is it? As you said, right at the beginning, felt that this had some potential and I make a confession. I started watching this, I gave it five minutes first time round I watched the whole thing this time but I'd mentally checked out really.

After about after that opening kind of scene, I thought I such an exciting thing like an ancient mechanism with a genius and a team and a title. I thought this could be good,

Sidey: But you've had variations of that. loads of times done really well so this has to be done well to

Dan: what's the point?

Cris: the level.

Sidey: to that and it just doesn't it's really meh

Reegs: The only thing that makes it remotely interesting is the Spanish backdrop.

Cris: Yes, I was gonna say yeah, yeah

Reegs: like, you know, the beautiful it is does quite often when they show the city and the bank itself is a really beautiful place. So that is, but fuck me, don't

Dan: No, it was, it wasn't a, it wasn't a million miles off with some of that kind of backdrop and the idea. It just seemed to fall. I'm not sure where it just seemed to fall short.

Some of the chemistry, some with just the way they sped up through the plot and didn't really make sense and you just thought like the beginning, they should have known, you know, those coast guards. On an open horizon. They didn't see him until they were 20 meters away from him. And you think, how the hell have they sneaked up on this lot?

You know,

Sidey: I'm sorry to say that Sam Riley, in control, might just be a fucking fluke one off. I haven't seen him do anything

Reegs: Anything good since, yeah,

Dan: he owes his one. But you know, it, it wasn't the worst. So

Sidey: I like the way you tried to put a nice spin on it at the

Dan: I tried to, I tried, it wasn't the worst thing we've ever seen. But it's a long way from the best.

Cris: Yeah,

Dan: Strong recommend.