If you've listened to the show for any length of time you'll know exactly what we think about Michael Bay movies.
Peter Andre very kindly nominated on the Mr Bay's masterpieces, 1996's THE ROCK.
Can this one shine through in spite of the contribution of our favourite auteur? Listen in to find out!
The Rock
Pete: Welcome to the rock.
Dan: Oh, Connery. The mid-weight mumble. This was it, but isn't it. The rock,
Reegs: Your choice, Peter?
Pete: It was I had, at some point started like trying to be a bit more prepared for things and put on my list of potential midweek mansions.
I'd put the rock of while ago. I think it had been mentioned quite a few times on the pod
Reegs: And side he'd never
Sidey: seen
Pete: He had never seen it. I'm assuming because of your Nicholas cage
Sidey: personal attack.
This one,
Pete: right? It was, it wasn't really what this actually was. Was a chance was a, an opportunity for me to try and show you that not all films are Nicholas cage, you know?
So that's what I'd hope to achieve by this. And obviously we'll find out in due course, whether or not,
Reegs: and maybe not all Michael bay films are complete piles of shit.
Pete: but you saying that as much, I know you hate Michael bay and his films and you suggesting that this wasn't wink. And even though it's a Michael bay film, but we'll, we'll come to the, how we feel about it.
At the end. So
Dan: for those that don't know, this is what a 1996
Pete: it
Dan: movie and Sean Connery, ed Harris,
Pete: Nicholas cage, and quite a few other, yeah,
Dan: Michael bane is,
Pete: a guy,
Sidey: isn't it?
Dan: yeah, there's a, there's a few that
Pete: there's a load of guys on sort of both sides.
Sidey: A girl in it.
Dan: is there a girl in it? There's one girl
Pete: of girls. Yeah. She's quite hot. And some other people that are recognizable, like Candyman guy again,
Reegs: Tony Todd.
Yeah. And also the guy who was in green mile, who's
Sidey: big,
Reegs: but then not as big as Michael Gluck Duncan. I can't remember
Pete: Oh, yes,
Reegs: Yes Yeah. Yeah,
yeah.
Pete: He said Harris is so ed ha that's a good point to start. Yeah,
Dan: any relation to Bruce.
Pete: yeah. This is Bruce. Also start. So that's a good place to start. So ed Harris please, a Brigadier general Francis Hummel and Yeah.
He's, he's got an ax to grind with how people, especially, it seems like it's like black ops that of Marines that have been asked to do hideous tasks and not been, and because it wasn't, they were unofficial.
Sidey: They've been, disavowed.
by the 18
Pete: a little bit. Yeah.
Yeah.
Dan: that they haven't got any recognition and after sort of 83 deaths or something, he's had enough and he he's gone full mental now. And he's got a band of Merry men with him
Pete: Well, he's gone full mercenary with, with a load of other people who feel similarly,
Reegs: he's got a moral point to there.
Pete: He does.
Reegs: just, he's the first time that you can ever say in a Michael bay film that you've got a complicated sympathetic.
Dan: Yeah, it was. You didn't want to hate him straight away because of the motive behind him. Essentially holding the us government to ransom. He, he he's got his hands on a load of high explosives or, or
Pete: chemical
Dan: chemical weapons and stuff, and he's prepared to use them if they don't give him a hundred million
Pete: the film opens with this heist where he's seemingly, I mean, I think it's what would it be?
It's like an army base with,
Sidey: the Navy. It's a Navy weapons cash.
Pete: There we go. And there is a heist at this initially he's able to just walk onto this base because of who he is, and they're sort of like honored to have him there, but at the same time, he's also arranged for a load of these black ops ex
Sidey: I think we already get some slow-mo helicopters for that?
Reegs: Oh absolutely. Well, Michael bay loves the military does, so he
Sidey: He's got a fucking massive hard-on for the
Dan: it's it's all over this. There, there, the classic jumping down and spray in the room with guns helicopters, big fire
Pete: Well, the, the, the, the F the initial heist is kind of it's Kovar, and, and it's more like they're getting, so, so the only person that dies in the initial highest is one of their own men from this like row group who gets caught in the, in the, in the room with this like ridiculous gas.
I think basically just the.
Sidey: old
Pete: awful it is. Like he ends up looking like a pizza within like a minute,
Dan: they do this all the way through the film though.
They spoon-feed, you. Every single plot line what's going to happen. They, I loved the way that they bigged up all the characters in it. Oh no, he's the greatest fighter I've ever seen him.
Reegs: Just how bad. I says he speech. Yeah.
Pete: Yeah. They,
Reegs: about his medals
Pete: do do that.
Reegs: It's good.
Pete: so anyway, so they they pull off this heist, they steal all the chemical weapons and then they take up a position on Alcatraz, which is obviously a. It's disused prison, but it's now a tourist site. There were some tourists they go on.
They pretend to be like
Sidey: great.
Pete: the tour. Yeah. Great, great sort of cliched tour guides
Dan: well, everything in this, this film
Pete: and obviously the, the, at the opportune moment, when the prisoners all see what the cells are like, they all get incarcerated. And then that's the point where they set up these missiles, that all points at the mainland at all points at San Francisco.
And then they put in the, or general Hummel puts in the call to sort of hold like effectively start carrying out their plot, which is to hold the government to ransom for a sum of money, a hundred and something odd million.
Reegs: it's very precisely calculated though. Isn't it? It, doesn't he say D breaks
Dan: it's a hundred, a hundred million is 83 for his, for the families of those fallen compatriots that never got any recognition and then 17 million for him to distribute
Pete: as he sees fit.
Reegs: And there's
Pete: the remaining guys that are part of this
Reegs: plan. There's a sense that.
I tend to, I would say honorable, but there's a sense that he's calculated this as the being a justified amount, because he's so precise and in control of the
Dan: And and absolutely, I mean, we hear it a few times.
This is a man of honor, even as they're around the war table, they're all talking about how great this guy is. And
three purple stars. Yeah.
Pete: someone says hero and the next guy he says, I think the proper term would be legend. So like upping the ante. So what you were saying there before about spoonfeeding.
So, but I think from seeing the initial heist and seeing how he wants to go about his business, He is not intent on killing and murdering a load of people. He just basically wants the money. And then for them to like leave us soil and never, never to return and for a load of
Dan: with $1 million, you think now, or there'll be like, well, that's gotta be a billion now.
Sidey: But he does
Pete: They don't like they don't kill anyone. It's all dark guns. It's all because they say, oh, how long are they going to be out before? So when they shoot them close proximity, they even inject one guy. It's all just a Stan. Th th they're either tied up or they're knocked out.
There is no deaths or that, cause they even say in the, once it, once I established this like room to deal with the. They even say one fatality. And it was one of their own men who gets melted by their slight hideous gals. At the same time they are just after they then introduced Stanley Goodspeed, who is Nicholas Cage's character, who is.
Federal. He's like an FBI chemical expert and he works in a lab full of nerds. And
Reegs: he introduced like his wife is he's playing guitar and
Sidey: is
Reegs: wife is that later
Pete: after that,
Sidey: the aftermath of cause they they receive a package,
Pete: what I've seen though. But yeah,
Sidey: They receive a package a suspicious
Pete: from Bosnia. I think it
Sidey: Some of that And they have to take it to this
decontamination room and try And or they open the package. and it's a few bits and bobs, And then there's a doll and his mate who was like the trainee kind of dude, he picks
it up
I was talking
Dan: around with it. I mean, what am I.
Sidey: and it starts spraying
something. Seren. Was it, does it sound
Dan: this is all just to establish his credentials and the film does that. It doesn't let you guess for a minute, how great people are or how big or the task is that they've got on here.
And this scene is just about establishing Nick cage as your chemical weapons
Reegs: Yeah. And he saves the day. Does
Pete: saves the day, but you, you get an introduction to his kind of scent, even though he is no. He's quite I dunno. Yeah. He's like, there's a lot of,
Dan: quite Nick
cage
Pete: even whilst like there's some reels of like stakes there he's, he's
Dan: almost like he's Nick
Pete: sarcasm, quits quips, and a lot of what's it called mega.
Sidey: Yeah, Yeah.
Then it goes back to him playing the guitar and his wife comes in and says
Pete: she's pregnant.
And he's just said, oh, you know, it'd be an act of cruelty to bring a baby into this world because of how horrible the things he's seen are. And she announces that she's pregnant. Zen comes my favorite bit.
It is, but
Reegs: that.
And then
Pete: yeah. Well we've all been there
Dan: some more than others.
Pete: Yeah. So at that point, it's it goes back to the FBI and what they're going to do, and they're, they're sort of talking about, well, look, no, one's got like a, you know, extreme knowledge of the facility and how to either escape from it or sneak into it.
Dan: that's what they want to do there.
They're Holdaway at Alcatraz. This is obviously famous for being,
Pete: impenetrable. or inescapable
Dan: it's this, it's this rock off the,
Sidey: Couldn't go away.
yeah,
Pete: was in a, in a different universe. So
Dan: it was so it pretty difficult to, to escape into even break into it. And they've obviously secured the, the rock and they they're trying then to get
Pete: Yeah But they they established that the, there is one guy like that.
Dan: There's one guy.
Pete: remember this. There's the head of the FBI and there's
Dan: no, not him. Oh no,
Pete: And this, this part, I mean, this, this is, you're going to hate me for this and anyone who's listening to this guy. This is my favorite Sean Connery character ever.
I fucking love Mason. I love this character. Because of that, I mean, it's, it's re it is ridiculous, huh?
Dan: yeah,
Reegs: Yeah. That's what you're saying.
Pete: That is what I'm saying. And
Dan: Just wanted to clarify that. Make no room for mistakes.
Pete: Yeah. And better than Dr. Jones senior or whatever it is. But. Because you, you, you, you know, she'll before I'd watch this film, I knew Sean Connery was in this film and I'd seen a couple of stills of it and he looks sort of like fairly normal.
You don't, it doesn't give too much away. Although, you know, it's an action film with, with Sean Connery and, and it's like, how'd you make a, I dunno what AIG is in this, let's say late sixties or something like that. I maybe he's certainly not younger.
Dan: Any different between 50 and 70, he just seemed to be the sign. Yeah.
Reegs: he
die
Pete: not that long ago. Yeah. Yeah. Not that long ago, but anyway, he's, he's then sort of the spoken about as like, you know, not him, he's like the, the U S. Biggest dirtiest secret.
Reegs: Well, it's another version of the speech that we've heard about everybody else in this place.
Sidey: it
Pete: And then there's this amazing scene of like keys, jangling and like doors and like 20 guys going in with chains and like you're, you're literally dealing with Hannibal Lecter times 10 here.
But somehow I thought I just fuck it always thought he was cool that scene of him coming out into the corridor and he's in like irons being walked along the corridor with his hair all
Reegs: all
Pete: Somehow they make him look fucking like Hench. He's like filling
Reegs: all lit from behind with the
Pete: So, yeah. He's like almost taking up most of the corridor and he's got like a, he's got a beer, but he
Reegs: like a comic book almost in like,
Pete: Yeah. I'm actually getting goosebumps describing
Dan: can see you at 1.1 guy goes, you know, how dangerous is he? And he says, you know, I I'm the same age as him. And I've got to go for a piss three times a night. And but yeah, Connery does look in much better shape than that guy.
Pete: Yeah. And so they, they bring him in he doesn't know why he's you know, he.
It alludes to the fact that he was incarcerated without a trial and everything. So that's why they're worried the FBI worried about this, this guy, who's one of their lights of skeletons in the closet kind of thing. They bring him out and they have to, they want to interrogate him to use his knowledge of having escapes, Alcatraz and how they might possibly get in.
He plays it pretty cool. He's he's still got a bit of a sense of humor after 30, 30 years of self confinement. And eventually they, they send Nicholas Cajun cause it's a guy.
Cause he can see through all of like the interrogation and everything. So they send Nicholas Cajun because he's basically just like a chemical guy.
Who's like a fish out of water. And he manages to get coronary to sign the contract that says that if I give that information, I'll be given a full pardon and allowed to carry on my life as normal. And he wants, he's got a bit of a writer. He wants a suite in a hotel and a shave in a, in a shoot.
Reegs: They get really a feminine hairdresser
Sidey: Yeah,
Pete: But before, before that he does the scene in, in the room. Th like the guy flips him a quarter and says, are there, you know, there's your pay off or whatever. He, he, he jumps on the co on the coin with the chair. He talks to them into taking the chains off. And then he uses the, the, the sharp and edge of the coin to draw a circle on the, on the one way mirror and then break through it and sees the guy that incorporates it.
He was like, Walmart, I might've known you. Little shit goes full coronary on him. Yeah, then he has a haircut, which I was disappointed with. Actually, I, I wish he'd kept maybe put that into like some sort of
Dan: I dunno,
Pete: the rest of the film, because
Dan: pretty
Pete: I don't think he's looks any harder than, than, than, you know.
Reegs: with the long
Dan: They got, they got that guy wasn't gay, who was playing the gay hairdresser, or he was just kind of overactive it. Cause I was just looking at him thinking he's trying to play a gay guy and he was just terrible at it. He was just
Reegs: cause this is Michael Bay's version of
Sidey: because the hairdresser has to be gay.
Dan: yeah,
Reegs: yeah,
Yeah.
Pete: Yeah. There's some stereotyping going on. He just in the, in the left even says like when Connery's Womack off the balcony and then escaping in the left, he's like, I just want to know if you'd like, like that, like your hair or whatever. So he, he escapes and then you find out that he's got a daughter that he is completely estranged from and That's the first thing he has been wanting to do if he ever got his free
Dan: End of act one, isn't it you've set everything up. Then you've got all the players into, into the film, you know, who they are, you know, how great they are, you know, how tough this task is going to be. And they have to put together a team to go in.
And of course, Connery is one of the team he needs to go down. He's. Previously mentioned he's in his sixties, but he's going to swim and drop off a plane in swim into Alcatraz and show them the, the vent. Cause he's the only guy they know about it.
Reegs: or something? Isn't it.
Dan: British, British SIS
Reegs: God sort of love that really haven't you
Dan: And he, he was going to go down into the vent, knowing how he escaped.
He's going to break back into a Alcatraz and bring the team with him.
Pete: So it's, it's all, it's all set up
Dan: And I mean, all the way food is filmed. There's lots of little quips. I'm like the hairdresser. We have a little line. There's, there's tons of that with Nick cage. There's tons of
Reegs: He
Sidey: Yeah I was gonna say added most of his improvised.
Pete: that
Sidey: No, the script was,
Pete: it. That's the, that's the mega that's the thing mega acting will bring. Yeah. Yeah. There's there's loads of because cage is, he just thinks he's had to advise in like the control room, but they are telling him no, you've got to come in on this mission as well, because
Reegs: And the mission is, this is
Pete: the, the, the chemical.
Reegs: and the mission is I was just remembering, this is the shower scene. Right?
Pete: So, so basically, right. So the mission in a nutshell is to infiltrate Alcatraz without the knowledge of these like ridiculous, like Mo group of rogue Marines that have been set up. So all of these guys are like, like ridiculously, highly trained people.
And they're going to, their plan is to, is to.
And so thinking that they're just stalling for time to pay the money, but at the same time, send a team in.
Like get in, overcome the, the road group and diffuse the the, the chemical missiles that that's the, so it's going to be Sean Connery to get the men, the team of operatives to, to overcome the bad guys or bad ish guys.
And Nicholas cage to take care of the, the chemical weapons. That's the plot in a nutshell. And it's all going rather well in the sense that they go into a.
A room that looks like there's no, they say are nice one that you've brought us into a room. There's no door. There's no way.
And the only way in which was coronaries formal way out was through the furnace.
So there's some,
Dan: it was just Indiana Jones stuff though.
It wasn't, it, it was these big kind of sliding swinging axes that were, ER, to time his role through the fire and through the is just perfectly and they think he's then dumb one, but he opens the door to let them
Pete: and then we get,
Dan: Or we get the title
Pete: you go this time.
Dan: Welcome to the walk. That's
Pete: not as good. No. Yeah. So then they go in, they go into tunnels and unfortunately for that, so they try coming up secretly. And so there's this like bathroom
Reegs: this
is
Pete: there's motion sensors that have been set up unbeknownst to them. They've. Twigged off one of the one of the
Reegs: yeah. So Mr. Hamill knows that they're already there.
Pete: Ms. Mr.
Hamill. Isn't good. The, a great reference for a lot of people.
Reegs: He was a teacher at school.
Pete: Yeah. So but he's in charge. So they've got, obviously the vantage point. They can, you know, they've got the high grounds, they can see all these operatives and then like this, this scene is obviously like a lot of the film is unbelievable, but the fact that this guy.
You know, this is Michael. So his name again, the surname Michael Baines character who through like, you know, pride and everything is like, we will not stand down. Like you guys are mercenaries. And w where we're not going to stand down on, on, you know, under any circumstances, then there's like some.
Tiles get dislodged and they fall to the ground. And then
Dan: this is the moment we start to lose a little bit of respect for the, the villain, which is ed Harris,
Pete: Yeah But he didn't, he didn't call the, he didn't call the attack. It
Reegs: it was a situation that
escalated
Pete: have fallen down. The attack happened, but all the way through, you can hear him screaming, cease, fire, cease fire.
He doesn't, he doesn't want this bloodbath to happen. Well, he sang, he thought so,
Reegs: no, no, no. It's clearly established. It doesn't want to happen. And it's just like, well, I mean, it's terrible, you know, it's, you
Pete: shouldn't be well it's, it's a massacre. Even like the young guy who's with Cajun Connery in the sewers still.
Wants to go up and rescue his friends. He ends up getting shot in the head and ends up dangling upside down for like, in this, like you know, the shaft in right in front of them.
Reegs: they're in like an elevated position
Pete: Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
Dan: Connery and Nick cage. Actually, they have yet to come out of the, the, the vents that they're, they've all been hiding in and everybody's been massacred.
So they're still in there and they still have the mission to go on. Of course, Connery's out enough and he's one he's wandering
Pete: out. But then, and then once good speeds explains that like what this chemical weapon will do and the fact that Connor, his daughter is over in in San Francisco, it will basically like just Mel, everybody that it comes into contact with his daughters are gone.
Are everybody else's. You better stick around. So they, he sticks with them for a
Dan: bit
Pete: At this point, I think the, the, the rescue, like the rogue group of they're starting to get a little bit twitchy. Some of them are just they're there because they want a million dollars on they're pretty bloodthirsty.
Dan: it w and there's a time of going down.
Isn't there, they've got like five hours left now, or six hours before they can transfer the money, or they're going to carry out their threat of. Mike in this this dirty bomb, dirty
Pete: Sort of fast forwarding through it a little bit, both. So Connery kind of gives himself up. They find, they find one of a couple of the missiles or find a room with a lot of the missiles in and, and cage takes the the guidance chips Connery breaks them.
And so there's only a few.
Reegs: high
Pete: They are pretty
Reegs: the gas or whatever it is like a gas, it's a liquid it's green, isn't
Pete: Yeah. And these lights, glass baubles.
Dan: glass balls
Reegs: and the stakes are high, both for. What would happen to Cajun Connery, like touching this staff and to the population, right?
Because the, the effect is
Pete: Well they say if it's designated in the atmosphere, then it's devastating because it will, it will rain down. This, the shit
Reegs: really high
Sidey: at one point
Pete: He does. He does. Yeah. Yeah. But obviously
Dan: he shoves one in a guy's mouth at one point who sprays it everywhere.
Pete: The someones who was the ends, they so coronary to buy a cage more time to find the rest of that.
The remaining missiles, there's only two or three. Basically effectively gives himself up. They, they start threatening to execute. One of the hostages Connery gives himself up and explains that he's a, he's a SIS, but he's, he's a bad ass and that he's not gonna take any shit from the guy. I think cage, eventually he gets caught and overwhelmed and then
fast forwards about, like I say, there's eight hours remaining.
Fossil was like six of those and they end up incarcerated themselves. So, this is where Connery shows, how he escaped the first time by using the bed sheets tying them in knots and putting like a winch at the end of it. And last suing it around the leavers for the doors. Is that the same time as his cage is saying like that you've escaped from this place before.
Like now it'd be a really good time to share that knowledge. And then just as he's saying that his door just Springs
Sidey: over
Pete: and Connery just casually walks past
Reegs: a great scene. It's a great scene.
Sidey: someone cause coronary and English. Prick or something like that.
Pete: that's towards, towards the
Sidey: I was waiting for him I'm not fucking English I am, but it just lets it slide.
or
maybe he says something and they Cut it from the film.
I was like,
He has gotta be fucking
pissed out
Reegs: if you're Scottish and you're listening to this, let us know how you feel
Pete: you feel about it. And then like the thing that the guy says to him is like, he's, he's just, he starts sort of wanting to box him. He's like I ever tell you, my dad was Irish.
Like, and it's
Sidey: English
Pete: one more. So I got to do with it too. When would he have had the chance to tell him that his dad was Irish? Like what a fucking stupid, I know it's a rhetorical question. That's always irritated me that, but and he, and he ends up getting fucking strangled by a. Anyway, so some chains.
Yeah. Sean dispatches these guys, even though he's yeah, there's a lot of like pretty sort of call kills. Like some, some knives that guy gets a big, like air conductor unit, like land on his head and crush him to death and the legs still twitching. Obviously accelerating towards the end. There's a big kind of a fight scene where.
I think Connery's looked at chuff off yet. Again, he's just had enough again, cause there's only one missile left and he's probably like thinking chances are a bit better cage managers to get to it. There's a fight with that really horrible lizard looking,
Dan: Well up for the fight, isn't it?
He's the one that keeps ramping it up. Even when ed Harris is looking to delay and not be as brutal.
Pete: so I'm Harris has, has launched a missile under duress from the other guys and that the last minute changes the coordinates and the missile goes out and detonates in the sea.
And that's when they realize that there's a, the, the, our systemic isn't in it. He even says we bluffed, they called it the mission's over. And at this point he doesn't want to kill any more people.
Dan: guys, like who talked out about bluffing,
Pete: are like, fuck that we want to
Reegs: we want the money.
want the money
Pete: we want to, and we want to commit some murders.
Reegs: It's not their primary motivation. They're just like, yeah, we just want to kill
Pete: them, I think. Yeah. But I think there's yeah, that they are in, because I think if they launch the rocket, they're probably not going to get the money. So they just want to kill people by this stage.
Ed Harris and the guard from green mile, I've forgotten his name have been killed in like sir crossfire.
At Harris, before he dies, gets like, gets to say in front of Shawn and Nicholas go, oh, what have I done? You know, he, he gets his sort of like redeeming like moment. And then there's like a bit of a. Towards the end cage and the guy, he gets the last chair, he does have a one of the Bibles in his pocket puts it in the guy's mouth and punches it.
He starts feeling the effects of this gas straight away, but he gets to jab himself in the heart, again, more brilliant mega acting and then manages
Sidey: to prophet Christ post. Yeah.
Pete: So the, the, the, the, by this time, the, the, the, the fighters, the air force are coming into. Bomb nuke the entire like entirety of Alcatraz,
Dan: some thermal meltdown or something they were going to
Pete: It's like napalm
Dan: this, this was the this was the plan sort of B of the government who decided, look, if we don't see some green flares, come in to tell us that Alcatraz is safe and you disarm the bombs, then we're going to
Pete: have, well, they weigh up 83 lives of the hostages and of, of, of the, yeah, against the millions.
Dan: got this kind of Nick cage, platoon scene where he's coming out, holding the flares and it
Sidey: so this
Dan: or they let off a bond
Sidey: day he's not quick enough and they do that enough.
but It's been like,
star wars, you know, the. The death star scene, they fired The, shot, but they don't make it. It goes off there. it does not a
proper kill shot. Yeah. So there's this fucking enormous
explosion.
And he lands in a little puddle
and is
Pete: he gets blown out to sea and he gets blown out to seekers, Sean dives in and
Sidey: the
music goes all romantic
and they fuck,
They definitely
Pete: that's the bit I
Sidey: was hoping for
Pete: all film. I mean, I hope they recorded that.
I hope they filmed that and, and there is an
Dan: Connery dies cool.
Pete: He doesn't die. So yeah, they let kind of rigor. I mean, part of the reason why Connery, which we haven't gone into, why Connery was incarcerate in the first place, he's got a microfilm that shows.
Loads of like the RKC Chris of the U S government from all of time, Jay, who really killed JFK, the, the alien landing, et cetera,
Sidey: Oh, he's cute. He's the Q Anon guy. Yeah.
Right. Okay.
Pete: And yeah, so cage does him a solid by saying, oh, he got vaporized in the attack and he's
Sidey: not.
So he stood there and he gives him the entomology of his
name.
They're having this conversation.
And then the radio says, where's fuck face and he says, oh, he died. And he fucking telephone telephone. And he goes, boy, fucked off. I said, I quit.
Pete: the thing is like, you're completely right. And it sounds ludicrous. But by this time, every time I've watched this film, which is now getting on for 20 times, I'm fully strapped in believing every bit of it. If anything, I wanted him to teleport back to the mainland.
Sidey: but I'm like,
Pete: I am fucking loving this and I'm loving Sean's so, so hard right now.
Yeah. And we know he's, you know, he's gone off, he's found his daughter who's heart. But yeah, we got and then that's pretty much the end of the film. He, yeah. Cage gets like reunited with his, with his missus. Who's going to have a kid with.
Sidey: Yeah, there was going to be a sequel,
But they never did.
it.
Dan: I'm so pleased. They didn't. I think it's just one of those films that I, and I said this, actually, I was watching it with with
We were just going back. He said, this is Cook's favorite film, which I just found. Entirely plausible because it's just larger than life. And it's, it's, there's nothing. It's not going to change your life, this film. You're not going to come out any wiser or anything, but you will be entertained for a couple of hours and it's edgy, you know, you, weren't sorry.
Pete: is changed my life for the better.
Sidey: Definitely.
Yeah. I do like big damn action films, but It's got all the Michael
bay things that We
hate
the fucking
military stuff.
The like homophobia. The women is just like fucking pointless. eye candy.
Reegs: Or gay or a woman you're there to be laughed at sneered at or fucked. Yeah. Basically in any combination of the
Pete: yeah. There's, there's no black guys in the good team. It's all like,
so
Reegs: well, the worst parts of bay are there, but it's, it's
Sidey: brilliant.
Reegs: though. Nick cage,
Pete: let, let me qualify that I don't like it because of those things,
Reegs: No, but the worst things of him are in this, but it's overall very
Pete: be interested to hear your viewpoint,
Reegs: Reese.
Pete: Tony. find it.
Sidey: I was so partially answered there's bits where I laughed at it, when I probably wasn't supposed to like the teleport bit at the end. some of it was just
like the technical stuff, Like when he moves the camera, he puts a sound effect on the movement of the
camera. So it goes. Well, What the fuck is this?
That's not part of the action?
That's the movement of the fucking
camera
and stuff that I was just laughing, but yeah, I
I, yeah, I was entertained enough by it.
but I don't think cage
was cage enough
Reegs: he's a very
Sidey: It's quite restrained
Pete: it. But you say that like for anyone else, it would have been a ridiculous, ridiculous, like when you just twangs the guitar at the beginning, the beginning, and he's like, let's say we cut the chit-chat.
A-hole
Sidey: like,
Pete: it's like all, so like over the top,
Reegs: propel him into an action movie career, this movie
Sidey: we, it must've gone corner And face-offs
right after this,
Reegs: after this.
Yeah. But before that, he wasn't that kind of actor at all. He was
Sidey: kind of
Reegs: yeah. Yeah,
Dan: In Arizona stuff. Yeah,
Sidey: Connery's
part,
he was, it was an eight page script that I gave
him, which was
just load of scribbles and handwriting on it.
And
it didn't
seem like it was it was fleshed out enough for
him.
Dan: see the potential.
Sidey: I
Pete: see it being an Arnie film like that. But I think that Connery's coat, like being an older guy
Sidey: and
Pete: history behind his character and everything. I like my man crush for coronary was massive through the bond years and pretty much anything else he's been in.
Highlander. And then like, is it entrapment when he's older and
Sidey: Catherine Zeta Jones? Ah,
Pete: but this, it went off the fucking rector scale. No. Oh, is this oh yeah.
Sidey: the red Napa. Yeah, the red Napa. yeah.
One stat that I did find about this has to be bullshit, Quentin. Tammy, Tina. What's an uncredited screenwriter on the movie, along with Jonathon Hensley.
I don't know. an Aaron Sorkin.
that can't be right.
Reegs: I've read that somewhere else as well. So
Sidey: Hmm.
Reegs: west wing and
Sidey: He's like the go-to guy for like any sort of
Dan: political. Satire thing
Sidey: top, top drawer.
Okay.
Pete: you can tell that all the best people have worked on this
Reegs: Well, they really have from a screenplay point of view. That's why it's so good. Like, you know, it's way too long. The car chases, just incomprehensible jibberish in the middle
Pete: Like with the tram goes about 50 feet up in the air lands and then start sliding really fast.
Reegs: Maybe may, maybe, but bay at this point is like throwing his camera around
Pete: who cares
Reegs: around his head.
That's what he does. He gets all this really cool shit. He pays for, it, puts it all on the set, blows it all up and then he gets his camera and just kind of swings it around his head. Like a fucking,
Sidey: TV
Dan: you look at fast and furious and although they, these kinds of films.
Sidey: Yeah.
Dan: Does all that, doesn't
Pete: It's way better.
Dan: I think he's
Sidey: even
voiced his own opinion about this. He said there's a major logic floor in the movie. Why are the boilers working on the rock when this
island
hasn't been,
in
use? when this island hasn't been used for
years?
they then goes, Screw it it's entertaining. Don't you think that's his attitude to his own filmmaking.
Pete: liked that actually.
Now I I'm not, I it's only, since I've been doing this podcast that I now know what you mean by Michael, but I like bad boys is Michael bay. Yeah. And it's all the same, like overhead shots and slow motion, like needless staff. And
Sidey: was this his first directing gig.
think it was,
Reegs: this is by a
Sidey: is this, this the three? This is the real, the, the triumph, the triumvirate.
Is that the right word? Yeah. by Brooke climber and
also Don Simpson he, He died. Cause it's at the end, it says
in loving memory,
of John's, he was one of the biggest pieces of shit going. He had a thing for pissing on prostitutes, like just the heart.
Pete: H to the road.
Sidey: Yeah. And then they probably just like touching message at the end saying in loving memory of this guy who was a F like, not
Harvey Weinstein. into a cocktail, It was just the fucking worst. of The worst.
and all the excess of the eighties and all that.
Pete: prostitute. Right?
Reegs: Well, I was going to say if that's all it was
Sidey: no, there was whole, lots of stories about that. And the three of them. Just, I don't know, it just made me feel a little bit.
Reegs: Okay. Yeah. Well, Bay's a prick. I hate him.
Pete: but
Reegs: I do. Yeah, I really like this. Nick cage is great in it, Sean Connery. I'm still trying to work out whether you're right about this being his best ever performance. So this might be
Pete: I love it. Not, not necessarily performance, but the character. Yeah. I love that character. I love do you know what I think I like about it? And it's a little bit of like sort of nationalism coming out in me, but the fact that he's British in amongst all these fucking, like th th. Ed Harris's character has done three terms in Vietnam.
He's like operation what's he called desert storm. And, you know, he's one of the most decorated people in like, you know, American kind of like Naval history and Connery is way badder
Sidey: It's an absolute fact that SAS would wipe the floor with a marina all fucking day
Pete: Yeah. And, and that kind of like, I think I'd take that a bit of that, but Connery's never looked fucking hotter than as you know, that that covered or seen.
I could watch that all day long. I was honestly tingling when I was talking about it before and this I've
Sidey: in your shorts.
Pete: I've got a smile on my face. You've got a smile on your face. You've got a smile on your face
Sidey: and
Pete: you've got a little bit of a
Sidey: smile Well, I, didn't completely hate it, but there's just elements of it that, You know, you can't avoid it, but yeah, it was fun.
It's best to all those still untouchables for me.
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, like I say, maybe not best role,
Sidey: but it's your opinions. I'm not, I'm not saying you're wrong. It's just.
Pete: Like my
Dan: I watched this with a kind of a half smile on my face, the whole way through it's just an entertaining couple of hours you won't get.
You know, you won't learn anything from it other than you will have a good laugh,
Pete: you little shit.