Midweek Mention... Enchanted

Enchanted

Reegs: What is the sound of a penis engorging? No, are you recording? Yeah.

Cris: Oh, let's not do that then.

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: We really came here to talk about the movie Enchanted.

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: And we should say that these nominations for this week

are

from an alternative source.

Cris: Yes, they are. At your own request.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: So we can't, we can't, I can't have Keira take the full responsibility. Well, although these are her

Sidey: Well, we'll find out.

We'll find out what we thought because these like you say, this is your good lady nominated this week's movie choices and the first one we're talking about is Enchanted

A

Disney?

Reegs: Disney, yep.

Sidey: animated into live action thing. Yes

Reegs: And directed by a guy, Kevin Lier, I think, I wanna say, who has done a load of these types of Disney animated movies.

So, you know Right. For this genre. But this is a sort of parody, homage, deconstruction type thing.

Sidey: It sure is.

Reegs: Yeah.

Like specifically the sort of Disney princess

Dan: of film. But I loved these as a kid when they used to mix up.

Animation with live action. Yeah, they did it a few times in in different kind of disney movies or You

know those

Sidey: Roger Rabbit

Dan: roger rabbit kind of things just yeah, just coming to life.

There was a there was a few others.

Reegs: to life.

There was a few

Dan: remember that, yeah.

Reegs: It starts off kind of

Sidey: about opposites attractors, very much like

Reegs: We get narration and all

Sidey: of this movie.

Yeah, narration and all that. Yeah, she loves Chris.

Cris: Loads. He's

Reegs: manufactured this sort of statue of him.

Sidey: Yeah,

it's a little bit like Buffalo Bill in Science

of the Lambs. Yeah.

where he's, he's got the thing. And I noticed that her model doesn't have a dick.

Dan: Oh, he's probably, is it, it's not made of human flesh either?

Sidey: I think it was,

but

Reegs: either? I specifically looked at the crotch area

Sidey: specifically looked at the crotch area, and it was just a pile of books.

Reegs: books. I think it

Sidey: and I think would have left her deeply unsatisfied.

Cris: And no mouth.

Sidey: That would have been more than a plus.

But

Reegs: But yeah, so we're in this cartoon animated kingdom.

She's the princess. There's an evil stepmother who wants to Susan Sarandon is, what's she called? Narissa. She's the evil queen

Dan: Queen Narissa, yeah.

Reegs: She wants to maintain her grip of power on this animated kingdom via And she To do this she needs to prevent her stepson Who's an animated James Marsden, looks just like James Marsden, but as a

Sidey: Yeah, so he's singing the second half of the song.

Yeah.

Reegs: and there,

Sidey: hard to believe

Reegs: them falling in

Sidey: It's hard to believe that they've never met when they know The same

song. I find that disbelief. I'm not able to

Cris: then when you know, you know

Dan: You know, you know, that's where I'm

Sidey: He's sort of

semi defeated an ogre, or a giant, or whatever it is.

Reegs: Yeah. Via an overweight gopher.

'cause it'll come up again at the end of the movie to resolve the

Sidey: Lots of things that happen at this point in the film

happen again. Sometimes Flip reversed.

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: And he goes off,

he disappears and somehow the ER gets away and destroys her. house.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: And she falls basically into his arms. And they immediately announce that they're in love with each other. He says he wants to marry you.

On literally and she's not at all concerned about the extensive property damage. No. Nothing. It's all I don't know.

Cris: It is miraculous. It's, it's love.

Dan: blind. I

wonder

Reegs: about what the insurance premiums are like in that part.

Cause if you've got ogres, like

Sidey: be

an exclusion, I

think,

Reegs: would think so. So yeah, she's destitute, but anyway.

Dan: it's a bit like living in a floodplain or something like that, isn't it? Insurance would be a nightmare. Yeah.

Cris: But they, they are ready to get married and then she gets carried to this castle.

Reegs: Yep.

Cris: And also we can see this is the first time when we can see the, the

Sidey: but it cuts, it cuts to the wedding day, doesn't it?

Cris: Well, yeah, but, but, but also we can see that while they're hugging on the horse. The stepmother can see them in her globe

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: She's got like an all seeing eye

Cris: yeah, and she's really, really

Dan: She

Reegs: is. And she takes it out on her simp. Nathaniel he's just like dotting in his affections for her and she just abuses him the whole time. Timothy Spool, I think it was when he was really fat. And animated.

Remember when he was animated? So anyway, yeah, so the big wedding day is set up. They've known each other for a day, of course, at this point. And she goes there, but she's accosted by an old hag. Who steers her towards

Sidey: the well,

Reegs: the well. Go in there, make a wish or whatever. Pushes her in. She pushes her to a place where there are no happy endings, is what she tells

Dan: and

Reegs: And wouldn't you bloody believe it? Via the magic of portals and stuff, that place is our Earth place.

Cris: And it's a,

Sidey: Square.

Times

Cris: and it's a sewage under, it's not even,

like,

she doesn't, it's just underground in Times Square, it's not even

Sidey: yeah. She comes like, well, but bit like Super Mario.

She comes out of a hole in the ground and it's all going on and she's in this crazy Disney Princess wedding outfit.

which apparently

was about 45 pounds in weight. And

Reegs: She looks really cool.

Sidey: fish out of water.

Reegs: Yeah. Mm. Yeah. And there's a few, sort of, fish out of water hijinks as she tries to get around the big city, but she's still very much behaving like she's in an animated world.

Sidey: she was just a few moments ago.

So it's understandable behavior.

Dan: yeah. she's got to get used to reality of it all, hasn't she?

I guess, and, and she meets somebody.

Yeah, of all the

Sidey: Dempsey and Makepeace.

Cris: all the

Sidey: That's Deuce. He's played for Spurs, yeah.

Cris: late

Dan: That's another one.

Sidey: Yeah.

He's

working on Clay Davis's. Yeah. She. She.

Yeah.

Reegs: He, he's, he's getting a divorce. The ex partner, well, not quite ex partner says, Oh, you love that baseball card more than you love me. Anyway so who knows whether the cynical divorce lawyer with a they never mentioned what happened to the mother.

Oh, she left. Didn't she? She left.

Sidey: He murdered

Reegs: her later. He murdered her. Yeah. She, she, she left, but yeah.

Dan: Left him a daughter.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: yeah. That never happens in real life, it's always shared custody or the mother, I

Dan: Yeah, unless

Reegs: I think she's abandoned them. She's walked out on them. It's quite rare to have that plot line of a woman walking out on, you know, you get that from men all the time in stories,

Cris: Well, this is a Disney story, so it has to be the other way

around, no?

Sidey: normally just kill people off at the start of films. Yeah. But not this

Dan: Not this time, she's just walked out and

Cris: out and abandoned

them. Well,

Sidey: But he is dating, he's dating

Idina Menzel,

Yeah.

who's the only one who has a non singing role, and she's the only

Award

winning singer

in the

Reegs: Broadway singer with amazing pipes and she can sing as well.

Sidey: as well. So we

Reegs: So we see what a progressive guy Patrick Dempsey is because he gives his daughter. He doesn't want to give her a book about fairy tales. He gives her a book about modern. Women or something inspirational women with Rosa Parks and Maddie Marie Curie in and he's using the book to explain to his daughter that he's going to marry Nancy, which seems Well,

Sidey: Well, the daughter is concerned, isn't she, and he says, I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask her.

Reegs: I'm gonna ask her. Yeah, she's not

Sidey: So the scene is set for a happy, kind of settled relationship now with a Disney princess thrown in the mix. And he is the one who sees her and takes pity and realizes that when she's all discombobulated that she needs help.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: And after some Kind of reluctant acceptance on his part. He says, well, you can come to my apartment and use the phone, which then she just collapses asleep.

He's like, okay, well, fuck it. You can stay

and then in the next morning, Nancy comes around

Reegs: This was my favourite part of the movie. With

Sidey: the towel.

Reegs: No, just, just before that, where she, her vermin army clears, that cleans up the whole

Sidey: she does a song, and yeah, she summons her.

Reegs: It was amazing. Her disgusting army of like flies and pigeons.

Sidey: this bit was quite good, because in the animated bit, it's all very pretty and nice, and it's all these nice looking animals. New York, it's rats, pigeons,

cockroaches. Cockroaches. Yeah. and they're

Reegs: And they're cleaning the toilet with toothbrushes and stuff. It's great. I really enjoyed that. And yeah, she does they even have some disgusting, like, imagine pigeons in your house. Imagine that. You've had one,

Sidey: Yeah. it's terrifying.

Reegs: And they're holding up the towel to protect her modesty when Patrick walks in.

Sidey: But she slips, falls on top of him, and wouldn't you know it, at just that

moment, yeah.

Reegs: But later, there is going to be a thing where, because he's going to invite her to a ball through some hijinks, and she's just going to, like, say, okay, alright, if you told me that there was nothing going on. Completely fine with it.

Yeah.

Sidey: Well, it's his makeup, his, you know, try and make it up to her because he's been caught in this what looks like very dodgy

Dan: compromising position. Yeah

he

Sidey: goes to her work. Oh no, she, they arrange.

It's like a heart shaped wreath of flowers gets

doved into her work,

Cris: Yeah, but meanwhile, the prince comes to New York as well, and Nathaniel,

Reegs: Prince Edward and Nathaniel turn up.

Cris: or the chimpunk or whatever it is. So while all this is happening, these other dicks show up,

spoil the fun.

Reegs: The chipmunk now can't talk in the real world. He can sort of, but he still has the intelligence of a

Sidey: Yes.

It's as if he's had his ability to speak just magic

away.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: But he's still, yeah, you're right. Has all the intelligence intact. and

there's just like, 'cause this film's really long,

Reegs: It is quite long. It's gonna get into a middle section, which is mainly about the Queen trying to off Giselle in this place by getting Nathaniel to offer her three poisoned apples and she's going to learn over the course of growing to know Patrick Dempsey's character and starting to understand her own emotions which are coming out like anger they have a little moment where they nearly kiss and then like these attempts on her life at one at a pizza parlor with an apple martini one in a park I think

Cris: the park with a toffee apple.

Reegs: yeah Blah de blah de blah de blah.

So eventually it's going to get to a point where they're almost like really getting on Giselle and Patrick Dempsey's character. What is his name?

Cris: I don't know, let's just say

Reegs: Robert.

Sidey: Robert Philip, two first names,

I hate

Reegs: that's, that's why I was getting confused. So, yeah, Robert and her are almost having this moment, is it will they won't they, he's taught her how to be an American now, and and then suddenly Prince Edward's turned up, and the whole way along she's been banging on about true love's kiss and this guy that's gonna come and find her, and so when he shows up, she's not exactly like, throwing herself in the idiotic way that she has been earlier in the, in the

Sidey: film,

Oh, she's known.

Dempsey and Makepeace for longer now than she had known

Reegs: He's known Exactly. And he's told her the concept of dates and getting to know someone and all this stuff. Because it turns out that Nancy, that was his girlfriend, has never like stayed over it. They've been together for five years and she's never stayed over, using

Sidey: Sounds like the perfect

Dan: but I don't think

they're married, so that makes

Sidey: Yeah, you're right.

Reegs: Giselle's turned up and stayed over the first night.

Sidey: What a floozy.

Reegs: So, they have this big ball that they've been building up

Sidey: Well, there's other things that happen. Some hijinks, and she keeps falling over and he catches her and he says, Is this what you do?

Like, keep falling over and stuff, because it's one of the lines that gets reversed later on, isn't it? Yeah. When they really heavy handedly, like, hammer this metaphor at you. But yeah, there is, there's a lot of hijinks. I did keep checking the runtime, because I'm like, man, this film is long.

Cris: Yes, it

was unexpectedly long

actually.

Sidey: because the poisoned apples,

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: can get,

she's

Reegs: same process to go into the real world. So we're

Dan: and So we're about

three hours, 45 minutes in now, and we've, we're down almost just over halfway. No, no,

Sidey: no,

Reegs: we're coming, we're building to the big,

Cris: towards the crescendo

Dan: crescendo. Oh, okay, right,

Reegs: because they're going to have this quite manufactured moment where they're told to like have a dance with somebody they didn't come to the

Sidey: Yes. And everyone goes around the, like the, the perimeter of the dance world, apart from those

two

Reegs: they end up having their big moment to it and

Sidey: I enjoyed

Reegs: he even, starts, of course he did, even, and he even starts singing along because he starts to know where, so he's gone from a cynic to almost somebody who

Dan: someone in love, maybe world.

Reegs: Yeah. And, but then it, she, they do have to do like a kind of goodbye, doesn't she?

She walks off after this big love number Idina Menzel sort of cuts in and is like, oh, can I

Sidey: She literally says, can I cut in? Yeah. And Giselle is up on the balcony or at least on the top of the stairs watching them and they kiss and she starts to cry.

Yeah. And I think she fancies him.

She does. That's

what I took from that moment. Yeah.

Dan: Ah. She's

Reegs: so

Cris: How observant.

Reegs: She's so sad that when Susan Sarandon turns up in the real world as the hideous witch she will, in fact, bite the apple to take away the pain.

Sidey: Well, she goes all hag again, doesn't

she? Yeah.

I thought the, the makeup and the look of that was really

good. It was it was. She, yeah, she does the apple oh no, she

Reegs: passes out, goes all deathly of Palor.

And Patrick Dempsey remembers that True love's Kiss can save her. So Prince Edward, who has allegedly been her true love way, gives her a kiss and nothing happens. It's a bit necrophiliac this bit 'cause he, he gets quite stuck into her. And then at the strike.

Dan: waking up,

Reegs: But at, as it strikes midnight, Patrick Dempsey gives her a kiss.

It is true love's kiss that saves her. That's

No, there's still another two hours to go. No, there's, now there's just some

Dan: Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: We do have a dragon, yeah. Susan Sarandon goes full dragon.

Yeah.

Dan: Well, she's furious. How, how this has all kind of panned out.

Sidey: She's losing her grip on

Dan: she

Cris: And also she hasn't got any more

apples.

Reegs: So her plan is actually, explicitly, to kill everybody and then go back to Andalusia, the animated kingdom, and be like, Oh, I'm the only one who survived. That is literally her plan,

Dan: It's, it's a strong plan into

Sidey: can't manufacture one more poisoned apple. Or poisoned

Dan: more poison apple. Or poison

Sidey: Well it was, yeah.

Dan: She couldn't

Reegs: She couldn't hire a good hitman.

Sidey: Yeah, I thought the design of the dragon was really shit.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: thought the design of the dragon was really shit.

Reegs: 2007.

And just in a little subversion sheet, the, the queen dragon grabs Patrick Dempsey and

Sidey: he's the dams in

Reegs: he's the damsel in distress and she has to save him.

Thereby rep

Dan: don't understand why, just right there, the dragon didn't bite his head off.

Reegs: Yeah. I wish, yeah, maybe.

Dan: she,

kind of, goes out the window, doesn't she,

Reegs: charts the evolution of Disney princesses from sanguine sort of animated ones right through to heroic ones that they've got

Dan: all live happily ever after now, or is it in

Sidey: Well I think it goes a little bit King Kong because they're

1. a

Dan: That's right,

Sidey: They're the dragons, like you say, just taking him higher and higher rather than just biting his head off as he just climbs up. And Giselle's scaled up there with, what's his face, his sword. And she gives the dragon a little whack on the tail,

Dan: stave puff guy, he, no.

Sidey: is on the, this is like a, you know, the aerial slash lightning conductory thing, right at the top of the building, and leaning off that.

And, it's all about to go, and it's the fucking gopher chipmunk thing, again, who climbs on like it did at the start. And it's too heavy, and causes everything to go to shit. And Giselle throws the sword to hook

Reegs: Patrick Dempsey, Yeah.

Sidey: sleeve. I thought it might have just like severed his artery at one point, but no, it goes through the sleeve into a metal girder, I think, to stop him from

falling.

Reegs: they'd already shown how sharp that was when it sliced up the bus

Sidey: That's true. Good point. And so he's saved at least for now. And the dragon just falls and explodes into confetti or

Reegs: something.

Sidey: And

Giselle has to catch him as his sleeve rips. She catches him and uses the same line on him that he did to her earlier on. And like really hammering home this reversal. This role reversal.

Dan: reversal.

Reegs: And

yes, everybody does get their happy ending. So, Robert and Giselle end up together.

Nancy and Edward end up together in a sort of Cinderella type moment as she's left a slipper behind. And also.

Dan: fits perfectly.

Reegs: Yeah, it was baffling to me this bit because Robert Dempsey's character is supposed to be like an actual human being, like with adult responsibilities and a career. And he's like, just left everything for this woman that he's known for about three days.

He comes from an animated.

Sidey: And it's just been chaos, like absolutely, he's got a daughter.

Reegs: And in the end, he's obviously like he's been shown to be emotionally distant.

Dan: It's no longer the, the mother ran out in the first place, we never saw her

Sidey: Maybe it was his fault, maybe his emotional distance.

Reegs: just perfectly fine to break off a four year commitment to another woman for a girl that you've known for a week from another dimension. And then, also, if you are a woman and you do love a man, then you should abandon your own job and your life that you've built up to go and live in an animated kingdom where

Because that is really essentially what they're saying at the end of the movie, isn't it?

Because the

Dan: And that's the

Reegs: swap and

Dan: Yeah, that's the message.

Reegs: Yeah. So, I actually quite enjoyed this. I thought it was alright. It's not the worst thing I watched this week.

Sidey: I would have enjoyed it more. I had to watch it on my own. I think I would have got

Better response if I

watch it with my daughter. I think probably would have enjoyed it quite a lot Did you watch it with your

kids? No? okay

Reegs: No, I think they'd have been bored. I'm a sucker for that. Combination of those worlds and the way they explore it

Dan: this has done quite well. I think that this is one of the better, I mean, Amy Adams is fantastic. I thought

Sidey: She is great,

yeah.

Dan: you know, just the perfect.

Reegs: fantastic, thought she was, she's, you know, just amazing.

Dan: it forgets that.

After sort of, six and a half hours I guess you just can't. Tie it

Sidey: up Yeah, it's like Game of Thrones, there were

just too

many threads

Dan: was too many threads, so in the end we just say let's just rush it all and finish it there, but for, for large parts of the film, really enjoyed it, actually. you know?

Reegs: You know, I hear about Dan. He's gone off with a girl from like

Cris: with a girl from, like, another dimension. Yeah, but two

Reegs: Yeah, but two happening at the same time? I don't know. Maybe maybe it's not

Cris: Yeah.

I

Dan: You sure into the Spider Verse? I mean, anything can happen.

Reegs: happen. That's

Cris: That's true. Green. And Green.

Sidey: that.

No. Yes,

Cris: no. He's human. Pratt Pratt. Pratt

Sidey: Yes, but that all of that exists in the same multiverse whereas maybe they may be right anyway, do you want some? monetary

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: The budget of this was 85

Dan: We know this made money. This is a lot of people's like right up there with their

Sidey: was surprised it was that much, but I suppose animation and like on location stuff in Times Square must be a fucking

logistical nightmare.

Cris: yeah.

Reegs: And, no, there's several really big choreographed moments, the licensing as well.

I know it's all Disney stuff, but it's constant references to other Disney things and all that stuff. Costumes were really good as well music is good, so

Sidey: Winner or loser at

Reegs: Winner, winner, winner, chicken

Dan: dinner. Yeah, I would say this is This is north of a hundred mil.

Sidey: 85 million. No, it's 340 milli pounds.

Dan: pounds. Milli pound dollars.

Sidey: What did Kira think of this?

it.

I'm sure

Cris: She said that she the only reason why she chose it. She chose it was that obviously it's not a new movie or whatever, but she said that when she first saw this, she had a bad day or she wasn't really happy.

And then she came home and put this on and.

Yeah, she cheered, she got cheered up and everything was fine afterwards. So

definitely not.

Sidey: fell

Cris: fell asleep a few times, probably about three times. So there's a bit when they were in the park and they, they send that heart, like the

Reegs: the flowers. Yeah, that's a good song then as well.

asleep after that.

Cris: that.

So

Sidey: I don't know. Can't

Cris: Can't

wait. Yeah.

Reegs: It's on Disney. So

Cris: you know what? I did say to her that when the movie finished, I, I said to her that when it started to be a cartoon, I thought, fuck's sake, it's going to be a cartoon. And then when it turned into an actual movie, I wished it was still a cartoon.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Do you know what? I will agree with you on this one. It had some funny bits and when he stabs the bus and all these kind of things, they all come as the, the,

Sidey: There's loads of stuff you can do with that fish out of water, you know,

Cris: yeah. It, it was really cool there in you, you know, it, it, there was a, there was a few, there was a few good moments and it was quite funny. So I'll, I'll give them that. It wasn't a complete waste of time.

Reegs: Yeah, and it's not especially a movie that's targeted necessarily at 44 year old men. So, you know, and it's funny to sit back and take the piss out of those things. But this is quite a well made movie.

Dan: yeah, I mean, she won the Golden Globe, Amy Adams for, for this.

It had a couple of Oscar nominations as well. Mainly for around the music and, and things like that. But it's. It's one of the, the better quality efforts of this genre. I think so if you're into Cinderella, animation,

Cris: It's also one of the few, sorry to interrupt you, but it's one of the few ones that I've seen where they actually.

Kind

of take the piss of themselves,

Reegs: Disney.

Sidey: Yes. It's tongue and cheek at

Cris: whereas normally it's all the print or it's it's too Disney sometimes, whereas this one is just, and I

Reegs: It lampoons their history really, and it is a little bit of a history of Disney, the evolution of Disney princesses. You can see that in, in Giselle's journey

Cris: think that's why they've had that ending just because it's so uncommon and just so of character really or whatever,

Reegs: I think it undermines, if that's, that was what was bothering me, that it sort of undermines some of the pointed messages about fairy tales and princesses and women's place and all that sort of thing. With that ending where it is true love's

Sidey: true. Also, sorry to spoil it. I'll leave it on a on a downer but Giselle never made it into the official Disney princess line. I know and technically, Idina Menzel is a two time Disney princess because first, she becomes the princess of Andalusia. How are we saying it? Andalusia.

Yeah. When she marries Jedward and of course, she was Elsa in Frozen.

So, she's The princess

Reegs: And the princess in this is just a sort of horribly generic Sleeping Beauty ripoff, so.

Sidey: generic Sleeping

Beauty

rip

Reegs: Yeah.