Well we haven't ever covered a kung fu movie. This seems like as good a time as ever.
We watched Bloodsport.
There's lots to love about this movie. It's a true story, JCVD does the splits a lot. The child actors are fantastic. And mainly the fighting is really cool!
Have we found a movie that we all agree on?
Bloodsport
Reegs: I'm pretty sure this was the first van Damme movie I ever saw
Sidey: possibly possibly the same for me
Dan: Or do a van Damme films Does this come
Reegs: Well this was his like starring first time He'd start his vehicle Yeah
Sidey: he was in films before this and I've seen one of them called no retreat no surrender He plays a Russian in
Reegs: that Yes I've seen that Yeah Yep
Pete: Wasn't he also in some gay porn before he started in films allegedly
Sidey: I hope so
Pete: I the meeting
Dan: Yeah the Russian thing was it
Sidey: No it was like a karate
Reegs: No but I have seen
Dan: and he's a maximum security Nobody can break out Wait a minute
Reegs: Yes I have And I sometimes get this movie confused with kickboxer and I can't remember which is the better one I think it's
Sidey: is the bad one Cakewalks has got some great dialogue by preferred this one on the whole
Reegs: as this one got the dancing in capable That's kickboxer right Okay
Pete: think a lot of early films or sort of eighties films were variations on a theme of the first VanDamme film I ever saw was AWOL which is also called Lionheart which is also called wrong bet I don't know why there it's different names in different countries but Again that's a similar sort of thing He's like running away from somebody and he's got a fight in a tournament and no he didn't he didn't beat it I have a mother in bloodsport either
Reegs: That's true There was a mullet stage This wasn't it So this what year was bloodsport made in 1988 And the director Yes Mr Hugh man
Sidey: I don't know who the director was The screenwriter is called Sheldon Letish
Reegs: Right Okay So Sheldon lettuce has set up the true story of
Sidey: true story
Pete: It's a bloody true story Yeah
Reegs: Frank ducks
Sidey: Yeah Like put up your Dukes Yeah
This is a very homoerotic film I thought And I was in for that the scene the trading scene I'm thinking of specifically where his strapped him ties him up like hog ties him but he might as well have been naked and just it's very I thought they were gonna fuck
Pete: Yeah He like winches him up in a in like a big frame and then he and then he breaks it with his mighty pelvis
Sidey: Yeah It's one of several scenes where he does the splits
Pete: Yeah He definitely does show off that he can do the splits Yeah
Sidey: But I
Reegs: it's an amazing move though
Sidey: I had heard that he had an operation to cut to loosen some muscles because he wasn't
Dan: he
Pete: sounds like an urban myth
Dan: because he you know himself doing it or something but I don't think
Pete: the bit where where he's like between two chairs is seriously impressed That's how I watched this whole thing
Sidey: Yeah This is bloodsport that story of Frank Dukes who for some reason is in the military but has to disappear off Yeah But I still after seeing it a million times I'm not sure what his motivation is
Pete: It's no it's it's Yeah exactly That that that's it it's like his his is it Tanaka it's like Tanaka his dying wish that he performs in the tournament that the name of which I've forgotten the committee That one Yeah So that that's a good enough reason He was kind of like a a father figure Wasn't he
Sidey: it I read a possible it's not it's not mentioned in the film explicitly but it's possible that To knock his son had died at the day And so he was going to avenge him somehow because he was dead There was
Dan: Was this ever revealed in blood sport too
Sidey: it's only a it's
Reegs: it's a fan
Sidey: I wasn't as good if I say found fiction but it's it's sort of implied
Reegs: right
Pete: Yeah it does Yeah It definitely it doesn't dwell on on the kid's desk Does it
Sidey: You have the Incredible performances of the child actors in the park where the younger child is beaten and he's getting picked up by some bullies and young John Claude fucking towering Epic performance comes over and and the young lad gets up and says one day I will fight in Cooma Italian You know why you saying that And so I so the the theory is that he did one day fighting and shouldn't they killed him
Dan: from the street fire
Sidey: Yeah
Pete: It's strongly Yeah
Reegs: When he goes a Wally's then pursued by ghost dog forest Whitaker
Sidey: Hadn't had ghost dog levels of cool at this point though That's great
Dan: long
Pete: Jessica is himself a black belt in a couple of martial arts Yeah Even with a squinty eye
Reegs: Yeah What is the only thing does anyone know
Pete: I think it's just a lazy eye It's not he's not blind or anything It's just a yeah A lazy eye
Reegs: Yeah
Sidey: It's difficult to reconcile Forrest whisker the Oscar winner with forest Whitaker here
Reegs: in bloodsport
Pete: Everyone's got to start somewhere We're like we we still like Tim Robbins and how the duck that elsewhere He can say everyone's got to start Yeah it was
Sidey: the other way It was all downhill from here
Dan: is it isn't it weird though Like w with the acting when you see young actors in first roles Like Forrest Whitaker here for me it didn't stand out You know he w now maybe you look back and you but so how much he has progressed and and worked his cause ghost or what a film like you know and he's been in a few other really great incredible films
Reegs: You can say the same with Leonardo DiCaprio in critters three I think it is That was one of his first movies You wouldn't you wouldn't have predicted he was going to go on And when he hasn't won an Oscar yet has he
Pete: Maybe the strength of forest Whitaker's performance was that he wasn't noticeable for being
Sidey: I was about to say he's not bad in this It's just not the two of them are just laughably in that characters It's not his performance
Reegs: And there's a girl with a really terrible perm who wants to have sex
Sidey: with Oh she's hot
Pete: I couldn't work out whether she was she looked she looked quite Peggy in some scenes
Sidey: was hot
Reegs: She's a journalist She's writing a story about comity Isn't
Sidey: as well This problem is very casually racist
Reegs: Give us give us some examples
Sidey: the bar and she just says to two smartly dressed Asian guys you guys are going to the Cooma take whereas they could just be like go to work you know
Pete: he is in Hong Kong so they could just be yeah they could be trained drivers
Sidey: There's lots of stereotypes with the characters as well but yeah it's a dumb action you know cry for them
Reegs: You get to see van dam's ass What'd you think
Pete: In the shower Is it the shower Yeah
Sidey: He had it written in his contract You got to show my ass and meet
Reegs: would have I have that in my marriage that was in our wedding vows
Pete: apparently that was not meant to happen But there was like a towel or there was something there covering his covering his modesty I think what might have happened is I think somebody kind of like whipped the whatever it was that was covering it whether it was a towel or a screen or whatever and they filmed it and then they decided to leave it in afterwards for the ladies and me Yeah
Dan: If if he's previous few films had anything to do with it they might have seen his performance And I keep the
Sidey: You go back to the sort of big eighties movie action stars So you've got your Stallone eight Schwartz Bruce Willis I suppose Was that too bad What
Reegs: Diehard was that was the one wasn't it really for him
Sidey: I would say I would say John Claude is the most Beautiful specimen out of all of them positive
Dan: isn't he I mean I think everybody
Sidey: It's just much better looking than all of them
Pete: Yeah He's he's in great neck I mean if you have if you're saying if you put like Bruce Willis Steven skull Arnold Schwartzenegger Sylvester Sloan and him together and then held a gun to my head and said which one would you fuck Definitely be Jean-Claude even without the gun yeah yeah yeah
Dan: you first used Don't worry I'm not coming back for you
Sidey: but he is he is a good looking man and he's in great shape in this
Reegs: And there's a lot of shots of him sort of glistening
Sidey: where everyone glistens quite a lot Yeah
Pete: Yeah he's he's also of those I don't know enough about but he's also the one that I record Cause like Schwartzenegger is like in ridiculous neck especially the early days like just after like Mr Universe type stuff but he's not got a martial art or you know a background of fighting or combat or anything like that Like some of the other stuff fandom
Reegs: he's not like van dam's
Pete: VanDamme will fuck you up
Dan: who would you say was the best actor out of these
Pete: go Oh it's the less the lesser of five evils we'll start on is like a
Sidey: probably Bruce Willis moonlighting I'm thinking
Dan: Bruce Willis would be
Reegs: The best actor of all of them
Sidey: you know who would be able to tell us Vanessa mater
Reegs: Yeah Yeah On East I don't know He's done some good stuff as he's got older
Pete: but it's not really much depth of acting junk junk Lord's not a phenomenal actor He's just he's just a joyous sight to Belle
Reegs: Yeah And he is in this and he's fighting a lot And what the choreography the fight choreography what did
Sidey: Well
Pete: Frank Dukes all done by Frank Dukes Yeah
Sidey: So you know that shit is authentic
Reegs: A lot of the bouts were over very quickly It's one of the things I remember about this Yeah
Sidey: Well look look before we before we get fully into the fights can we talk a little bit about Ray Jackson
Reegs: American
Pete: guy that's clearly had
Sidey: It
Pete: some kind of brain
Sidey: clearly turned up in those clothes as well It's like I'm fucking wearing this
Pete: Yeah He's I mean what what is his I didn't look into the not the character but the the actors like history or innocent I mean
Sidey: of the nerds before
Pete: so he's just an actor He's not
Sidey: The weird thing about this is that there's no stunts doubles nothing They all did their own fights Everything is just them So they cast all fighters right So you've got like proper Mai Thai people and blah blah blah Then you've got this guy what the fuck is he doing in a global elite underground
Pete: Yeah he liked closed lines A couple of guys I think he sumps one just straight on the top of the head like a tent peg Yeah
Sidey: and then goes yeah I killed it
Pete: Yeah
Reegs: Is that that's That's each talking about Chong Lee
Sidey: Jackson
Reegs: All right Jackson Yeah yeah yeah He does that's BOLO he's like a legend
Dan: Yeah He's been in tons of
Reegs: stuff
Pete: he has got the biggest tits I've ever seen on a man
Reegs: Yes Yeah yeah yeah
Pete: He never skipped chest stated he that is huge
Reegs: Yeah
Sidey: He doesn't fight fair
Dan: No in any of his films
Reegs: Yeah But neither does Sean claw because he's got the what's it called the dim Mac or
Sidey: whatever
Reegs: And but he he does it on the Hawaiian guy and then just has to leather him in the balls Doesn't it It's like Cause it doesn't work
Sidey: Well this is full contact
Reegs: Does he not
Sidey: He had colorful shorts on I think that's why
Pete: like Hawaii guy Did he have bit did he have bits of pineapple on him Yeah
Reegs: I didn't watch it for this because I've seen it fucking countless times before yeah
I
Dan: just I watched it probably four or five maybe six months ago with sunny for the first time And
Pete: Well did he make a bit
Dan: he actually quite liked it Like we did it that of you know it was
Pete: it's it it's interesting to know because the first time I would have seen this I'd have been young maybe around kind of Sunny's age So I think and at the time I just thought it was cool I didn't like but now watching it looking back it is it is cool but it's also quite funny the yeah like obviously like the clothing and the acting and like so much of it is it a little bit like multiple combat that we reviewed a couple of weeks ago
Sidey: wouldn't have existed Were it not
Pete: apparently bloodsport was the inspiration for the for the game
Reegs: That's great Well
Dan: that's that's a solid contribution to culture that right there
Reegs: no I I was thinking the same thing but from what I read is what you were saying Pete But what I remember is that the fight choreography is is actually really good And a lot of like you were saying as well Dan that a lot of it the actual actors are doing The stunts
Pete: So
all of them are there are no
Reegs: that stuff holds up you know like bad CGI or whatever that stuff never does hold up But if it's clearly shot action it's done really well That's why people still like shore brothers movies and stuff from the you know
Pete: there were a couple of unfortunate like or at least one unfortunate slow mode where you can see the slow Mo punch not connecting and someone and someone then like reacting to it But but the the the yeah like the full the full speed stuff and the slow motion where you can't see that it all looks Pretty genuine ish I mean these are all martial arts guys so they used to actually having contacts and so on or even inspiring They're probably going to get a little bit Slappy with each
Reegs: Phantom was a legitimate
Sidey: Yeah he was he was too legit to quit Yeah There's a couple of standup Florence's we've mentioned young John Claude He was played by a guy called Pierre Rafini I don't think he's had a storied career there was also the guy that was their sort of guide
Pete: or
the chaperone Victor Yeah He was a deck
Sidey: was amazing
Pete: One bit that I did want to point out is you know when when Chong Lee batters is big a big friend with the brain injury he
Sidey: did he think he was dead
Pete: I did at first he was dead I'd forgotten I'd completely forgotten whether he lived or died actually but the bit that It like irritated me a little bit is that when Chung Lee sort of goes over to the side of the mat let's call it And he's like goading him It's Victor that's holding Vandam back which bearing in mind he then goes on to win the tournament whilst completely blinded wasn't that believable that Victor would be able to just hold him back But
Reegs: that blinding as well Doesn't he So I remember I think we all seem to like this it's fair to say good memories Not everyone has a similar opinion You know we like to balance things out here on bad dad's film review So Debra Higgins in a one-star review on Amazon said I did not buy this And a wheelchair assassin said don't watch this film for anything beyond meat heads Bloodying each other
Sidey: What else would you
Pete: Yeah That is the reason to watch it
Dan: you go
Pete: I must admit that I've I've lost myself in a bit of a spiral after this just fact checking all of the Frank Dukes things Cause this essentially is meant to be a a dramatization of of a true story about the Frank Dukes and everyone on the internet is calling bullshit on everything that he's claimed
including the the like the the tournament even exists in itself
Sidey: Wouldn't even said what it is but he is an undercover So he says undercover CIA operative Who's going through these fighting tournament's to undercover to sort of unmask all these
Pete: we started Cova underground Yeah Yeah
Sidey: So
Dan: a lot of the time in his film van was Andrew Rivera
Sidey: but the screenwriter Sheldon lettuce he met Frank Dukes obviously And he was helping to edit his still unpublished Vietnam war novel the last rainbow he said Frank told me a lot of tall tales most of which turned out to be bullshit but a story about participating in the so-called Kubernetes I had like great idea for a movie So they still chucked on true story
Dan: He's a character isn't
Reegs: Yeah they did Didn't they
Dan: This was based on a true yeah
Sidey: Do you know van dams real name
Yes John Claude Camille Francoise van Valkenburgh
Pete: that that
strong Sean Claude van Valkenburgh is a strong name
Sidey: probably just Camille didn't sound very
Pete: masculine but just drop the top The Camille
Reegs: know my old my old days were in Thailand and they messaged me
Pete: your old days I like your old day would be your mum Your old man would be your dad So all this just you have two lesbian mothers
Reegs: Yeah I suppose Yeah Yeah No no All right Okay My parents were in Thailand and my dad emails me saying we've met this really nice couple His name is John Claude and he says he's an actor And I'd like sent back a video clip from I think from bloodsport Saying is this the guy And he's like yeah yeah this that's him And he's really nice We're going out for dinner And so I said Oh can you get me an autograph And dad said he didn't want to because was really
Sidey: that's their dad's bad take though because apparently he's not a nice guy He's a violent fucking maniac
Reegs: or who my dad
Sidey: He met his match though with high kicked him over the dinner table
Pete: I've got some more Frank Dukes lies so he claimed so he claimed that he was while he was in the us Marines but he claimed that he served in Southeast Asia and received the medal of honor And the F a freedom of information check found that he never served overseas He was pictured years later with his medal of honor but the medal of honor he had was issue was one that would be issued by the us army So he's obviously acquired that at a later date he also said that his just carrying on from the the the spirit of CIA stuff that he said he was involved in he said that his his dad worked for MASAC before world war two And Mossad was formed in 1949 so yeah there's there's lots of Porky pies going
Reegs: Oh was it though Pete Yeah exactly Tune in next week's conspiracy podcast All right
Sidey: It's just mainstream media
Pete: but the one the one that I I Wanted to immediately try and get my head around Is it at the end of the film it splashes up some like facts about like his records his like his like committee records about like fastest punch and fastest knockout headline fastest kick And I think that was like 74 miles an hour I was wondering how when he said this tournament happened in 1975 I was wondering how they measured the speed of a Keck in an underground tournament What sort of technology they had But the biggest one was 54 consecutive knockouts in a single tournament Now it's a one V one knockout tournament just so you know just to give a bit of
Reegs: context
do the for me there
Pete: if everyone in the world fought one V one in a knockout tournament it would take 33 rounds and he got four 54 knockouts So he must've fought a lot of people from other planets just to
Reegs: No he's amazing And he's amazing Well thanks Frank because without it we wouldn't have had this very entertaining movie