Carry On

Carry On

Sidey: carry on up the airport.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Well, No,

are we? Did you watch anything? I can tell you what I watched,

Sidey: Oh, okay. Yeah.

Cris: watched this. No, I only, I only want to say I watched two movies.

Well, I watched three. I watched Craven the Hunter,

Sidey: Yeah,

Cris: which I thought it was a bit shit, if I'm being completely honest. And I also didn't expect it to be a Marvel thing. I thought it's just the Like a, just a

Sidey: An Attenborough

Cris: Yeah, I don't know, I just thought it's like a movie. Not a, not a superhero.

Sidey: also watched Craven

Pete: I

Cris: don't know how to do it, okay? It's been at least a year since I've opened this

Pete: opened this

Sidey: off after half an hour

Cris: It's Pish. I've also watched Joker Folia 2 and,

Reegs: to say I

Cris: and I have to say I wasn't impressed with that one either, but, the winner, for the win, and I blame Kira for this one I was going through my fire stick, and she was like, oh, the substance, it's with Demi Moore.

Is it? Yeah,

Reegs: Moore. Is it?

Cris: no, That's the worst thing I've seen this

year. And I watched Napoleon Dynamite this

Reegs: Dynamite this

Cris: Well, the five minutes that I watched from it.

Reegs: 5 minutes

Cris: so shit.

Reegs: watched it. That's some

Cris: I

mean, look, you get a lot of tits and cunt like

Reegs: like

Cris: We,

Pete: Tits

Oh, I'm

Sidey: I thought it was a pronunciation thing. Yeah, you

Reegs: Yeah, no, yeah, you do get a lot of tits, but you also get like a lot of like lumbering hideous monsters

Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: like eyes coming out of arses and stuff. So yeah.

Sidey: Sounds good to me.

Cris: And also you get that almost like a recreation of that Eric Prydz video with like asses and that.

And

Reegs: Margaret Qualley as well.

Pete: I'm not having the downside.

Cris: and then he, no, but then it tells you, it's like, ah, we, we taking you off the morning show and we're going to put you for the New Year's evening. And you're like, fuck it. I was out on the morning show. It's just like the, they just don't show you their assholes. Everything else. No, it's shocking.

Sidey: I

Pete: I won't go through everything I've watched, lots of porn as I alluded to in the other episode but I think most recently first two episodes of squid squid game season two, which I like, yeah, I've just, it fucking does.

Tension in in such a like, I don't know in a different way necessarily, but it does it really, really well. And

Reegs: Did you watch the first series again recently? 'cause I was like, I can't really remember what the fuck

Pete: I didn't, but

Sidey: you watched any of season two? No. They give you a recap and it's not nearly recap

Pete: No, but you, you, you said that to me, but I, I, I think I watched, I think what I did is I watched season one

Sidey: Oh, I

Pete: Very, very quickly because I watched it and then I thought my missus would like it for obvious reasons.

And she,

and so yeah, so I, I doubled down on it early, so the, the recap was enough for me. I remembered who

Sidey: I remembered

Pete: I know why, I know why you didn't get enough of the recap, because I remember you said, they all look the fucking same to

Sidey: Yeah, massive racist.

Pete: I don't know who, who's who,

Sidey: I didn't remember his hair being red or anything like

Pete: Yeah, just, it was only for like the last 30 seconds of the first season,

Sidey: Anyway, I remember. I remember it enough because I And season 2 episode 1 was good fun, I

watched

Pete: Have you seen any more since

Sidey: episodes?

Pete: season yeah, I mean I won't spoil anything, but they're still not Doing any games? Well, they're not doing

Sidey: squid games.

Squid

Pete: games, but they're but I think this is Season three is coming out next year.

So I think this is like yes like a midseason break

Sidey: Yeah.

Chris is out. Chris is

Cris: I've not even seen the first one.

Sidey: It's good. It

should.

Pete: it is good It is good. What I also like, which I didn't watch, but Alice in Borderland. I really liked that.

Sidey: Yeah. I want to watch that

Pete: That is really good. Yeah, similar sort of theme.

Sidey: any movies?

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: Cool.

Reegs: I watched Gavin and Stacey the Christmas special. I know you're all big James Cordon fans.

Sidey: I've, I've watched

a single

Pete: never watched any Gavin and Stacey

Sidey: It'll be wang. And

Pete: James Corden is a dick.

Sidey: Yeah, it'll be

Reegs: yeah.

Cris: he a West Ham fan?

And he's

Reegs: Yeah. And he's a West Hand fan in the program as well, so you get

Sidey: hard

Cris: don't want to throw up

Reegs: Yeah.

So.

Sidey: out.

Pete: Oh,

I remember the film I did watch, which I told you guys on the group, Den of Thieves, which I liked.

Cris: Oh yeah, it was good.

Pete: Really good. And another, there's another there's a sequel coming.

You don't, do you watch sequel films or?

Cris: yeah, I don't, yeah.

Pete: it's just series that you don't

like.

Cris: like. I don't, I don't dislike them. I just think, what is the point?

Sidey: Because They're good,

Pete: Okay. Right. Why would you watch a second film,

but not a second season?

Cris: Because it's too long. And in the second film is like the hangover, it gets gradually worse, but it's still kind of

Pete: always look at Die Hard 2.

I know that's not a good

example.

Cris: Whereas I think the only sequel was Jump Street, which I actually liked the second one better than the first one, which they were both good,

Pete: Terminator 2 is pretty good.

Cris: But with coming back to seasons, I told you, it's not the problem that I have is the continuation of the story, which is already 10 episodes minimum, which means that's 10 hours of my life that I've used on this particular subject.

And then they add, Ooh, he's back from the dead. Oh, the uncle Is coming.

Sidey: it all a dream?

Cris: someone that hasn't been anywhere near. They didn't exist. There was not even a distant part of them in the first

Sidey: Take a breath. Take a breath.

Reegs: storytelling at all. It's just anybody who's involved in it is a pointless wanker basically for, for, for

Pete: do you want me to stroke your hair? No. Okay.

Sidey: I watched some of Craven, hunter Gunda I watched Indiana Jones the Last Crusade, and

Pete: I

watched that recently. In fact, I watched all of the Indiana Jones films and even started the Dial of Destiny. I checked out of Crystal Skull when they were about to go off the fucking waterfall, but

Sidey: And we're rewatching the wire, so we're halfway through C one. Great. Great.

Reegs: I

did also watch this week's movie, and we had started on the group

Sidey: There's loads of chat about it

Reegs: cause Pete had gone in very hard and very strong and declared it to be awful.

This week's movie,

Pete: on I'd like to be the one to tell everyone that it's wonk, not you.

Reegs: Well, I'm not going to tell everyone

Pete: going to miss that.

Sidey: to

Reegs: the gritty reboot of the Carry On Up the Kaiba, the type franchise. So when you

Sidey: the Ritty V Boot of the carry on up the Kaiba.

Pete: It was funny when you said that Kenneth Williams is like the

Reegs: But they

Sidey: they don't show you the, they don't show you the villain's face at first. Although you hear his voice and if you watch stuff you'll know who it is.

It'd

Pete: be good if it's Kenneth Williams.

Reegs: Oh! Yeah, partner air pressure.

Pete: lotion

Sidey: Buffalo

Reegs: good Buffalo Bill, Yeah

Pete: the basket.

Sidey: But this is Set in a departure lounge or airport security. Well, it's fucking fundamentally important to the film and it's Taron Egerton who is a fuckwit it seems although he's got a super hot

Pete: girlfriend Yeah.

Sidey: who is knocked up And she is doing that annoying thing where She's telling him what to do with his life.

Reegs: the

Sidey: in, on the, the veil of like a pep talk where she's basically just dictating to him

what

Reegs: basically just dictating to him what to do. He's just popped up. Yeah, but he's just spent all night you can see like the movie starts with him having been up all night worrying about this and googling shit he warns

Pete: wants or

Reegs: he clearly has had a night of like fuck i'm going to be a father and i

Sidey: How do I leave?

Reegs: he's already having he's already having those thoughts about

Pete: Pushing her down the stairs, yeah.

Reegs: got to get my life together

Pete: But this, but this is that sort of, like, fucking American trope about, oh, if you're not a fucking doctor or a pilot or whatever, that you're just a guy who works in, like, security or a janitor or whatever, then you're a fucking loose machine.

Reegs: not that though, it's because he had a dream of being a police officer,

Pete: Yeah. And he didn't

Reegs: and We'll find out later he wasn't able to for sort of other reasons, so he had a dream that he didn't follow, and she just says to him, you were happier when you were following that dream than you are now.

That's all she says to

Sidey: all I saw was a woman's going

Pete: Yeah, yeah,

Reegs: Yeah, there's a lot of projection going on Yeah. So, yeah, in fact, it kind of, the movie actually opens with Jason Bateman going to the, it's Bruce singing Santa Claus is coming to town. It's probably why you hated it straight away because it

Pete: not that put me on the back foot.

I won't lie

Reegs: and a dodgy deal going down in a Christmas tree lot with he takes like a load of cash, Jason Bateman to some

Sidey: We don't know it's him yet We dunno it's him yet.

Reegs: Well, is he still shadowed,

Sidey: shadowed, yeah. Still

Reegs: And

Sidey: but as soon as we hear him talk, we know it is him.

Yeah. But yeah,

Reegs: And so, they, some exchange of some money and some Novachok, which you

Sidey: it's good fun stuff. Yeah.

Reegs: that we've all heard about. And the guy, I think is, is poisoned with the money that he handles, I guess. I

Sidey: what ? Yeah, it's a, it is a contact based delivery system 'cause it happens later on.

Reegs: So he poisons this Russian guy that he gets the Novichok off and shoots his accomplice and then sets fire to this Christmas tree lot slash bioweapon engineering facility. And and that sort of starts the movie and then we meet Ethan Kopeck and we find out he's disillusioned the transport security agent and off to work with his girlfriend Nora at LAX on Christmas

Sidey: This bit, well the bit when he goes to actually to work at his day job, so he goes in and he sort of talks about getting, wanting to have a promotion and one of his buddies then says, well I'll tell you what, I'll just sacrifice myself and go do something shy and you can, you know, Take my job for the day to prove your worth and then we get so he does that and what he is is the man Who sits at the computer screen scanning bags as they go through the conveyor and this bit was the least Convincing airport sequence of what like it's so

Reegs: Considering it's Christmas Eve as well.

Sidey: person just steps up and puts their bag on and everything goes through really slowly And then some of the people like you see like the typical yank saying oh you're a fucking like scum lackey like just scan my bag immediately or and everyone around would have been like shut up you fucking prick

Reegs: we do get a little travel montage of difficult, you know babies and shit, but it's very lightweight I don't know what rating this movie is There's a bit where the guy's like are you stopping me because i'm muslim because i'm black because i'm

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: all that stuff so they sort of try to address that but I agree This is the calmest airport

Sidey: Yeah. And one lady picks up her tray, takes her bag and there's something in there and she takes it over to him and says, so this isn't And he, it's an earpiece and then he gets a message on his phone saying, put it in your right ear.

Yeah. So he does that, and then he immediately starts getting instructions from this voice saying, do this.

Reegs: And we've already seen that they've had to switch their plan. Their target originally was the guy who gave up his seat to allow

Sidey: of them to step someone at his house.

Reegs: And they've got someone at his house and they've had to pivot and go to Ethan's house. So they're finding out about Ethan as they talk to him for the first time.

Pete: Yeah, you see there's a there's a guy so there's the guy who's doing the talking sort of Jason Bateman. And

Reegs: the traveler, he's credited

Pete: Right. Okay, and then you've got another guy who's in like a van outside and who's got someone like duct tape the watcher Who's who's got you know, he's all duct taped hostage and shit and he's got all of this like surveillance so he can like zoom in on any camera in the airport and he zooms in on like I think it was his name.

Ethan's like name badge and then starts going through stuff and finding where he lives. They send someone to his house, yada, yada,

Reegs: And Ethan is, he does try a few times. I think he starts to try and

Sidey: He does 9 1

Reegs: call. Yeah. He makes a nine one one call and then is told to hang up and put the phone in lost and found. He tries to do a text on his Apple watch, nice little product placement there. There's a few other ways that he tries and he also hears he's also like he's using his Detective skills to listen for where Bateman is.

'cause he pretty quickly works out that Bateman is actually within

earshot,

Sidey: of like stereo feedback, doesn't he? Yeah. At one point, because, and he was,

Reegs: he hears the tannoy

Sidey: the same PA loop sort of thing. And then there's something, someone drops a glass. Yeah. And he can tell it's dead quick. He's also got an invisible ink pen. Yeah. Which he writes a note on a boarding pass and gives to someone.

Reegs: He gives it to a police

Sidey: officer. That guy pays the ultimate

price. He

Reegs: Yeah. Very quickly. He's kind of something off screen again, pinpricked with some poison and dies this police officer instantly as he's going off to go and get help.

Pete: a

heart attack, but

Reegs: So, is this where we have a number of, like one of the first of an implore, a number of implausible meetings in the toilet?

They go, they managed to find a completely empty toilet on Christmas Eve in a major airport where he just puts a little sign outside. They go in and have a little chat, don't they? Bateman Taran

Sidey: Because we do then, we, eventually, I think it's that, that moment where, or just shortly before, where it's like, you've only seen his back or you've seen him in the show, and they turn around and it's, I don't know, you're supposed to go, Oh my God,

Reegs: to go, Oh my

Sidey: plays a good guy. Oh, I can't

Reegs: in the red hat. Normally if that's a good guy, I can't believe it. So

Sidey: yeah, it's just a load of like,

I've got

a guy coming through security. It's that guy in the red hat you're gonna fucking let his bag go through no matter what It's on you to make that happen. And if you don't We're gonna kill

Reegs: And there's been this recurrent theme about, like, he's been coasting through his life through the last few years and all he has to do is do nothing.

That's the easiest job in the world, Ethan. All you have to do is do nothing, as he's been doing. So, he chooses not to do

Pete: There's a few bits where because he's obviously now behaving a bit erratically or whatever like the supervisor or boss or whatever it's like right, you know, come, come and talk to me and someone else goes and sits in the chair for a bit and then

Reegs: It's

Dean Norris from Breaking Bad in it.

Pete: He's basically the

Reegs: being basically the same character, but just about three or four

Pete: say, yeah, he's yeah, he's piled it on. Yeah, so you get that, you know, like that extra jeopardy of, is he going to be in the seat in order to let the guy through with the bag at the time? Because if not, then his girlfriend's and that,

Reegs: So the where, where, where are we in the plot then?

Sidey: Well, he, he does enough to the bomb gets triggered, doesn't it? It gets armed and he has to, he's shown.

He's Bateman has to talk him through how to disarm it.

Yeah. Because, because ultimately he's like, I'm not, I cannot let this go through because

Reegs: Right.

So,

Sidey: going to be a bomb and people are gonna die and I can't have that.

Reegs: Yeah, also the detective starts coming into it. Detective Cole. So she, she's assigned to the Christmas tree case. And then she kind of can't let some stuff go. She also starts putting it together because of Ethan's 911 call. So they step up security and then he, Ethan manages to change the name of the random security

Sidey: Yeah, they say, right, we're going to lock everything down and we're going to search 50 people. Yeah. And he's able to do the old switcheroo and put somebody, Flores, who's, he knows is the guy, he's seen his boarding pass to make sure that he's, By

Reegs: Oh, by the way, when it, when the bomb went through security, like everything is flashing. Like there's a guy sitting behind him and it's going,

Pete: yeah,

Reegs: on the screen.

Pete: there's a

Reegs: there's a bomb. There's a bomb. And he's yeah. Anyway. So yeah, they do finger him and lol and pull him backstage. For Dean Norris, his boss to do a bag check.

And then Bateman tells him he's got to.

Pete: well, this, that's then when they have the At that point, that's when they have the exchange in, in the bogs, because Ethan, like, doesn't he steal his gun?

Like Bateman's gun, but, but Bateman gets his phone out and arms the, and that's when he arms the bomb from his phone. He just goes, well, I've just armed the bomb dickhead. So, what are you gonna do about the, what are you gonna do about it?

Sidey: It's either so many people on the plane or it's everyone in the

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's how they end up in the, in the inspection room where it's with Hank the fella

Sidey: Flores and that's the reveal where this is where we realized that Flores is also someone who's got an earpiece and he's not an accomplice per se.

Pete: near peace and he's not an accomplice.

But as he has to, he Floros

Reegs: So there's a, as he has to, he

Pete: the

Reegs: just stabs him in the neck, doesn't he?

Sarkovsky,

Sidey: the, Biro stabs him in the neck, and then the annoying, like, supervisor guys banging on the door to let him in, and they just hide him behind a couple

of

Reegs: a couple of suitcases.

Pete: all. Like, no, can I, can I just check? At this point, none of this, you're not finding any of this, like, utterly preposterous?

Okay, well, we'll talk about that after we've finished. Is the film finished now? It's film, film's Okay,

Sidey: girlfriend starts to nag him.

Again, and she's just ran in there and there's, the watch has got the sniper rifle trident on her and I'm like, shoot her, shoot her, shoot her,

Pete: to me, you

know,

Sidey: she's saying speak to me, you know, duh, and he's just, he's been told in his earpiece, don't fucking say a word. You say a single word, she gets executed now. So he backs off all fucking teary. So that's, you know, the end of their relationship. But it's

Reegs: want to say as well for a movie that like, I know we're all like,

Sidey: would like,

obviously,

Reegs: intensely, amazingly good looking physical specimens here with perfect features that would look amazing on screen.

But Taron Egerton, considering this is a movie that focuses on him having an earpiece in his, predominantly in his right

Pete: Oh yeah!

Reegs: has a big weird lump behind his right ear.

Pete: he

Sidey: I never noticed it, even after you pointed it out in the group, I forgot to look. I just kept thinking, is he four foot tall?

Cris: very short, but this is the only reason why I actually wanted to watch this movie. Alone? Yeah! When you kept banging on about it, I was like, I need to see this, what is going on with this guy,

Sidey: to look

Cris: third head or something?

Sidey: I was doing a bit of Sim City at this

point as well.

Reegs: Okay, well, obviously everybody hated it. So we'll speed through it.

There's a superb car chase where detective Cole will find that Logan Marshall green from the upgrade movie that we reviewed is not the detective that he purported to be from the FBI and is actually just in on this conspiracy himself. And they have a great, I got whamageddoned by this movie.

Sidey: but again, like diehard two, they were just mercenaries.

Reegs: They were doing a, yes, basically, yeah, it was a, it was a

Pete: Facilitators, yeah, yeah.

Reegs: to look like the bad guys to kill a Congress woman who was objecting to this threatened democracies bill. I still, it feels a bit fanciful to blame it on private contractors Don't know. I mean, Maybe just a nod to Die Hard 2 like you were so anyway, yeah, there's, there's another terrific backstage fight between Flores and Egerton on the carousel, the baggage carousels and stuff, and then eventually it will all get out to Egerton having to defuse the bomb on an already ascending plane that Bateman's

Pete: Can we, can we, can we deal with the fact that, that the, so the, the bird turns up, the FBI cop, like she turns up and then immediately is just convinced that, By Taron Egerton, or maybe his girlfriend, like, Oh no, like, let him do everything. Like, you stay here, and he will do everything. Oh, what, the baggage guy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the baggage guy. He'll do everything. He's, he's disarmed the bomb before. So, no, don't fact check that. Whatever you do, just go, Yeah, alright. Sound, you crack on. I've, I'm gonna go with my gut on this,

Reegs: favorite moment of implausibility is when Nora, who is an operations manager at Northwest Airlines so kind of facilities and stuff, walks onto an active crime scene and goes, Nora, operations manager, and the cops like step aside to let her on. I was thinking, I don't know about that.

But anyway yeah, so it gets to the point where basically the plan becomes completely ludicrous. Bateman has to take the case on board and will jump out with a parachute that we've somehow seen being smuggled past security

Sidey: first lady that was at

Reegs: him the

Sidey: Yeah

Reegs: Gives him a parachute. So he's going to set this thing off on the plane, kill the Congress women and parachute off it, of course.

But he's been scuppered again at the last minute because Egerton switched the bags and made it just too big to go in the overhead. We've all had that

Pete: that experience. Yeah, yeah.

Especially on EasyJet. You know, they like

Reegs: I've also wanted to kill everyone on a plane as well. So

Pete: that's crazy.

Reegs: too. And they go downstairs, have a fight and Egerton locks,

Pete: the fridge. in

Reegs: in the fridge.

Pete: presume is in, always, they've always got one in the luggage holder. Well, I guess that might be plausible.

Who cares?

Reegs: in there with the Novichok that sort of apparently just vacuum seals if it's completely safe.

Sidey: I want to see him like properly melt,

Pete: Well,

Sidey: kind of goes a bit red, a bit

Pete: yeah. Look, he goes, he looks like me on holiday. Yeah.

Reegs: and then we

And there'd been a thing earlier where they talked about going to Tahiti and we see that they do in fact go to Tahiti. His mate that he'd had to set up having a drinking problem to get him framed earlier is back working,

Sidey: They all love him now.

Reegs: a copper.

Pete: not a loser anymore. He said

Reegs: happy Christmas, which he'd earlier remarked that Americans don't say to each other because apparently that's a British thing. Happy Christmas.

Sidey: you. think?

Pete: who

cares? Yeah, I honestly, I thought this was fucking crap. And I don't know if you did or not. I still don't, but yeah, this was, it was, it was a, a shit kind of remake of, of die hard to obviously like different. Thing if I was gonna, if I'm gonna try and say something positive about it. I like Bateman as a bad guy.

Yeah, he's good. And, and the fact that he plays it almost comedically still, but it is still, it's not quite as sinister as I think that they were hoping it was gonna be. But it is. He is good in this. He's the best thing in it. I thought Taran, eggen fucking American accent. No. So many scenes of him running, like needless scenes of him, but needless scenes of him running,

Sidey: It's, it's a Tom Cruise impression. You see, he's short and he runs. That's what Tom Cruise

Pete: runs, he's got a shit run, no one runs like that! No one fucking runs like that! It's like he's, he's devised a run for this film, and it doesn't work, like, nothing would ever I like, it's, I don't mind implausibility, but not when it's trying to take itself serious, like, Die Hard isn't trying to take itself too seriously, right?

It is hammy and we know it and it was the 90s, 80s and 90s and stuff like that. This, I think, is trying to be a fucking, really like, polished, plausible,

Sidey: polished

Reegs: it isn't. It's, it's like a simple, it's like a throwback to those 90s

Pete: But it's nowhere near It's

Reegs: like it's a bit silly. It's

a

Pete: a bit A bit silly?

Reegs: but it's like got good performances. The dynamic between Egerton and Bateman is great. It's got a bit of

Pete: But it's got none of the levity that the Die Hard films will have.

They all have like, little comedic moments. Where's the comedic moments in this? There aren't any.

Reegs: There there. were a few lines and stuff, but if you don't find them funny, I mean, it's not, you know, that's, that's it. But yeah, no, this is like a pretty solid,

Pete: so And, and also, I've, I'm starting, I'm really starting to get agitated with Netflix and, like, Netflix original

Sidey: Yeah, they're all crap.

Pete: Fucking crap, really fucking crap All the series, and, and, how did you feel about it, Si?

Sidey: The sequence in the car, like you said, with the Wamageddon bit was, was a good bit of action.

Sort of in between the two of you, all the stuff that you're getting out of it, I just didn't get, like, I thought Bateman was just horribly generic. Taran Agustin just doesn't do action, like, here very well. I thought, you know, Kingsman's

Reegs: I think, right, he's got a good face for sort of zooming in when he's sweaty and him looking a bit tense and nervous.

Sidey: It wasn't, it wasn't bad enough to hate. It wasn't, there was nothing good in it. There was, there was a bit Where they're hoofing it along the runway on a luggage car, and I was like, they should have had the stair car from Arrested Development, the Blair Stair Car other than that, you know, it was just, it's just really, really fucking bang average.

Like the worst crime of all for a film to I didn't, I didn't get a lot

Pete: it was a strong recommend.

Sidey: Yeah, strong.